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Squamous cell carcinoma of the throat

markosheetso
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2009

found out today I have stage 3 How bad is this going to be ? what kind of treatments will need to go for Has anyone been in my shoes?

jkinobay's picture
jkinobay
Posts: 247
Joined: May 2007

First of all, very sorry to hear that you have joined our ranks. But, the fantastic news for you is that this is indeed the place to seek support, helpful insight and a portent of things to come.

Please give us some specifics of your situation. For example, age, sex, nature of the diagnosis, what has taken place so far (surgery, biopsy, MRI, PET/CT?). Do you have Pathology info?

With some of this info you will be able to link up with some, if not many, of the folks that will fall very close to being in your same situation.

There is hope. Medical technology is miraculous. The human body is a finely tuned instrument. Please, and I know this is easier said than done, please don't panic just yet. Talk to us and we'll do our best to guide you through what may be the toughest fight you have ever fought. The goal is well worth it, is doable..............and the alternative, well that's not an option I don't think.

So, again, please give us some details to work with and we'll collectively do all we can to help you.

Have faith..............JK

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5738
Joined: Apr 2009

Sorry to hear the news but there is life after cancer, like jkinobay said you are in the right place for help and friendship

ratface's picture
ratface
Posts: 1238
Joined: Aug 2009

Well the rollercoaster ride begins for you now. But strap yourself in tight and you will make it. Yes please provide more info, if you know it yet? where is your primary site, has it spread to the lymph nodes. What Side. Any sypmtoms and what led you to diagnosis. Most importantly where are you being treated? Is there a caregiver in your life? This is a good place to start and come back to.

doitforoj's picture
doitforoj
Posts: 63
Joined: Sep 2009

I too am in your shoes. Found out 3 weeks ago that I had scc. Base on the tongue cancer. 4 cm lump. Spread to 4 lymph nodes on the right side of neck and 1 on the left. Pet scan showed cancer has not spread anywhere else. in 3 weeks I will begin treatment. chemo and radiation. That is as far as I can tell you about things. The best thing I ever did was make a simple post like u did on here. These people understand like no one else will in your life. A club nobody wants to join, but a membership that is more important then any in your life. Your family and friends (if like me...love and support me and have been wonderful) are so important to you on a daily basis. But these people will be so important for you on those quite moments you have with yourself. Trust them and use them. They and I are here for you.

Kurt (Soon to be survivor)

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I have SCC of the larynx, stage 3 and just finished treatment (chemo and radiation) in August plus targeted radiation of my left lung for NSCLC. As everyone else has stated, if you give us more of the specifics we can help you with advice, encouragement and our experiences. Have you met with your cancer team and discussed your treatment plan? Once we have more info about your type of cancer you will be amazed at the number of people who will able to help you through this very difficult journey.

I do have a little pre-treatment advice, first, EAT, if you can gain a little weight now it may help you later on as most of us lose some weight during treatment. Second, drink plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated, this will become very important as you start your treatment. Last but not least, try to remain calm and optimistic, your emotional health plays a very big part in your recovery.

We are all here to help you!! Please post again soon so we can help alleve some of your fears and concerns. Cancer treatment is not a pleasant journey but it is doable, especially if you let others help you and that's what we are all here for.

I also wanted to let everyone know that I got to do the "happy dance" yesterday after they removed my feeding tube - YAHOO!! I've been back on solid foods for a month now and am holding my own with my weight. I am having the "scope" tomorrow to look at my larynx and am hoping for some good news - so wish me luck :-)

Best wishes to all of you,
Glenna

dsexpress
Posts: 6
Joined: Feb 2012

how long did you have your feeding tube..how long before you were able to eat...it's been 3 weeks since the last treatment and I'm loosing my patience.

dsexpress
Posts: 6
Joined: Feb 2012

how long did you have your feeding tube..how long before you were able to eat...it's been 3 weeks since the last treatment and I'm loosing my patience.

Tim6003's picture
Tim6003
Posts: 1490
Joined: Nov 2011

Patience my friend ...I felt the same way ...it's been 4 months since my last treatment and I still have my feeding tube...

I hope you can get rid of it next week ...but just be patient if not...remember one thing, you will continue to "cook" for several weeks after treatment and you "may" (not to be negative) develop swelling in the throat (just two weeks ago I was eating much better, not great, but better) and then my vocal cords went crazy hoarse on me and now I find eating a bit more difficult on some items I had mastered ........my ENT scope exam and scans came back clear May 7th ...so the ENT and Onc just attribute this to a side effect for now ....

I will tell you what my onc told me when I was complaining about how long it seemed for me to be getting over treatments ...."I like that you are impatient, that means you want to hurry up and get well. Just don't push your body past it's limits, it's been through @$$ and back" ...yup, that's what he said.

Keep us posted,

Tim

paaatriot101's picture
paaatriot101
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

Good gosh seems to be quite a lot of us diagnosed with throat cancer for the month of October, wonder if there are always so many? Since I am as newly diagnosed as you I am not able to offer a lot of advice, but as you move through treatment and we learn stuff I will sure be happy to share and swap stories and experiences, you can lean on me, and I'll lean on you. We'll all lean on each other here:)

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8071
Joined: Sep 2009

I just finished my treatments a few months ago (Jun18th)....

I had been diagnosed with stage III SCC cancer (HPV derived) in my right tonsil, and a small tumor near my right ear. The tonsils were removed and the treatment was scheduled.

My treatments consisted of, Taxotere, Cisplaten and 5FU three sessions each three weeks long each session. The first Monday was the chemo (Taxotere, Cisplaten and the 5FU from a pump for four days). Then hydration and Neulasta for bone marrow the 2nd Monday, all else was rest.

After those sessions I had seven weeks with Carboplaten on Mondays, Amofostine injections in my stomach everyday followed with radiation M-F.....(35 exposures)

For me the radiation was the worst part of it all, especially the last two weeks and the following three weeks after. That was the hardest part cocnerning throat pain when swallowing. I dodn't have a PEG and didn't really need one. Though the period of radiation where I had the most problems I mainly survived off of water and Ensure Plus...needing pain solution just to drink those....

My neck took a good hit of pealing skin, but nothing much worse than a severe sunburn....nothing not tolerable. If it would itch or ache, warm showers always seemed to sooth it for me....

Just make sure you stay hydrated as much as possible, and then more.... Make sure to communicate with your doctors any symptoms you are having. My chemo doctor was awesome, she had a drug or solution for anything that I encountered....I had hiccups for awhile, she had a drug, I had heatburn and acid reflux, she had a drug....LOL....she took very good care of me.

I never physically got sick one time....there were plenty where I was neasuous though. I was very achy for a few days after the first Neulasta shot also, but not the next two shots (one shot for each session the week after the chemo).....

Like I said and very important is to stay hydrated, I didn't drink enough the second round of chemo and became very tired and sick feeling...all I wanted to do was sleep. The more I slept the worse I felt, the more I wanted to sleep (not drinking any water)....they gave me a few bags of hydration fluids and it was like a light flipped. I immediately felt better...never did that again.

Eat what you can and when you can, soft mashed potatoes, mac and cheese...if nothing else Ensure Plus. You'll be drinking a lot of that later anyways... It has the most calories, nutrients and vitamins than anything else I found...almost 350 per drink.

We are here for you and you can ask anything you want when you need the support.

God Bless and surround yourself with positive thinking people....

John

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

my husband was just diagnosed with stage 2/3, base of tongue tumor as well as bilateral lymph nodes...already has had his first chemo..going for #2 nov 3 and #3 nov 30..then dec 27 in for 5 days for continous chemo and 2 radiation treatment a day..this will go on 1 week on and 1 week off for 10 weeks...from what we understand, we are in for one hell of a ride...fatten yourself up...he was told to gain at least 25 lbs before the radiation treatment starts

scary as hell but we all have to stick together to give each other support

you're in my thoughts and prayers

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

My husband was diagnosed with stage2/3,base of the tongue and a lymph node in late July. His treatment involved 35 radiation treatments along with a weekly infusion of Erbitux.

He is now 4 weeks post treatment. His onco has scheduled a PET for 3 month out - around the first of Jan. He also sees his ENT on a regular basis.

He is now drinking his Boost and eating some soft foods each day-no longer is relying on his feeding tube so that will hopefully come out in a few weeks.

You are in for a hell of a ride and it is tough and continues to be tough following treatment, but you will make it through. As a caregiver, you will need to remember to take time for yourself. Lean on your girlfriends. This website has been great for me. I have learned alot and everyone totally understands what you talking about.I know way more about this disease than my husband.
PK

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

My husband was diagnosed with stage2/3,base of the tongue and a lymph node in late July. His treatment involved 35 radiation treatments along with a weekly infusion of Erbitux.

He is now 4 weeks post treatment. His onco has scheduled a PET for 3 month out - around the first of Jan. He also sees his ENT on a regular basis.

He is now drinking his Boost and eating some soft foods each day-no longer is relying on his feeding tube so that will hopefully come out in a few weeks.

You are in for a hell of a ride and it is tough and continues to be tough following treatment, but you will make it through. As a caregiver, you will need to remember to take time for yourself. Lean on your girlfriends. This website has been great for me. I have learned alot and everyone totally understands what you talking about.I know way more about this disease than my husband.
PK

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

thanx pk for the boost...

did your husband have a feeding tube put in? mine is facillating on this idea...i think he should do it now before he begins the radiation but he wants to wait until he needs it...i think it will be far more painful then...he's a stubborn guy...i think it will confirm to him that he has cancer as if the baldness and the chemo thru his veins isnt confirmation enough.

one day at time, i suppose

debbi

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi,
Protocol for Bob's oncologists was to have a feeding tube placed prior to radiation and Bob did. He did not use it during the first couple of weeks during his treatment, but after that it was his lifeline. Eating is just too painful. I would say he relied on in for the last 3 weeks of radiation and the 2 weeks post rad. It's not as bad as it sounds and it really is important not to lose too much weight (he's lost 30 lbs even with the tube)- his oncos and ENT are very firm on keeping weight on. I know what you mean about stubborn and you will become the vigilant NAZI!!!! ha ha!

How many rads is your husband scheduled for and what about chemo? Bob had 35 radiation sessions along with an Erbitux infusion each week. The Erbitux caused a nasty rash, but no hair loss.

As I said he will have a PET scan in early Jan. and has met with his ENT once since treatment ended. He will meet with him monthly. His radiation onco was very pleased that by the second week of rads, his swollen lymph node had almost disappeared.

Keep asking us questions. I have found this to be great support. And yes it is one day at a time.

PK

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

Jim is scheduled for his 2nd chemo on november 3 then a 3rd on november 30...he will then check into the hospital on dec 27 for continuous 24 hour chemo with 2 rad treatments a day for 5 days..this will go on one week on/one week off for 10 weeks. he is suppose to go back the tuesday after his treatments for hydration and blood work but i am going to to that at home... i work for the hospital he will be in so they are allowing me to do this...the hospital is in NYC...i work for one of their satellite offices on Long Island...we live on the eastern part of the island and it takes us almost 3 hours to get into NYC so the Nurse Practitioner i work with is going to show me how to do the IV and then i'll take it from there...i'm a phlebotomist so she will get it started and then i will take it from there

we talked some more about the feeding tube this morning and his sister is really giving it her all and i think he is caving...it just makes sense to do it now !!

Mt. Sinai is really being very helpful to me...letting me take time off...giving us the VIP treatment pretty much...which is a godsend !! they are even letting me stay in his room on New Years Eve, which is pretty awesome.

i just cant believe this is all happening...he just turned 60..our daughter is 22 and almost out of the house...we were planning so many things this summer...italy, france...we thought we had life by that balls..things were going so good and then BAM...its like, what the f&*k!!!

i do have to say he is one of the sexiest bald men i have ever seen..he really looks hot !!

i have good days and bad days...sometimes it just comes over me like a tsunami and i am overwhelmed with grief...its hard sometimes to put on a brave front but ya know what, sometimes i just cant...and i hate to lose it in front of him but sometimes i just cant help it.

i'll be back tomorrow night..its getting late and i put in a 10 hour day and i am shot!!

have a good night..give bob my best and i'll talk to you tomorrow

thank you PK for everything

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

Shock is right when you hear this news. I was driving home when Bob called and his sore throat and earache had turned into cancer!!!! Unbelievable!!!

Hope your husband agrees to the feeding tube. He needs to have it put in prior to treatment as he does not need one other thing to deal with once the chemo and radiation starts. He will also need it. It is so important that his weight not go down too fast and without the tube, I can't imagine the weight you would lose, zapping the little energy that you have to fight, as well as the fact that minimal nourishment is being taken in.

It is tought to absorb this when it happens and the treatment is really tough, but a few things I know for sure: not one of us is exempt from crisis in our lives, life does go on, it is really important to embrace this once the shock is over and just plow forward, don't give up on plans you've made (maybe they have to be put off for awhile or altered but don't give up on them), cancer is treatable and curable,the recovery for this treatment is far longer than most, take care of yourself, as a caregiver, too, lean on your friends and family, have cocktails when it gets tough!!!!!

Your husband's treatment sounds quite different than Bob's. He had radiation everyday for 7 weeks and chemo once each of those 7 weeks. We live in a small community just outside of Minneapolis and have a wonderful medical facility here so Bob's radiation oncologis, chemo oncologist and ENT specialist are all right here. What a blessing to not have to travel for treatment or appts.

As I said before, Bob is out of treatment now for 4 weeks and is not using his feeding tube although he still has it in place. Eating is tough - nothing tastes good and sometimes causes pain, he hates drinking Boost, and is anxious for the few things that he does eat to taste like something. He is also very tired of being fatigued. All of this should pass with time - it's just that it takes soooooo much time.

I know how you feel about plans for those fun times together. You never know - maybe France and Italy will still be in the cards for this summer - don't give up on it just yet. We are both retired from teaching and are planning to spend our usual 2 months this winter on St. Simons Island, GA. I am leaving on a cruise Nov. 28th with a girlfriend (planned prior to this **** happening) so I'm going. Feel a little guilty about it, but.....

Hope you had a good day today. Hang in and hang on!! You will get stronger and stronger as time passes. I'll check in with you again later tonight or tomorrow.
PK

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

got some information from cancer care and antioxidants...the nutritionist at Mt. Sinai said not to ingest any antioxidants as they may interfere with chemo

everything we are reading says quite to the contrary...all the articles say to take as much in as you can.

any thoughts on that?

he is having a good day today...the moustache is gone...he looks odd, i've never seen him without it in 36 years...feel like i'm having an affair !! lol

we have a put together a list of questions for the oncologist we will see on Tuesday for jim's second treatment. its a good thing they never tire of our questions because we a truck load !!

jim still isnt sleeping well..he sleeps for about 4 hours night...they said he could take benedryl but that wires him and the xanax isnt really helping so i am going to ask for klonipin. Does Bob have trouble sleeping?

went out for dinner with friends last night...we all had a wonderful time...jim wanted to keep on going but i had to put the brakes on...i think it was the tequila in him that was doing the talking. he's not a big drinker and had 2 shots last night after dinner and had some wine with dinner...it was good to see him relaxed and having such a good time

beautiful weekend here...hope you are having one too

talk soon
debbi

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

I have not read or heard anything about antioxidants and chemo. But once Bob got going with his treatment I don't think he injested too many antioxidants. Unless Boost has a ton.

So glad you were able to enjoy a night out. Friends and a couple of cocktails can do wonders for any of us.

We are going to watch the Vikings / Greenbay game tomorrow with friends and will munch on Bloody Mary's and Quesadillas. Bob said he is going to take a case of Boost to share!!!

Having a beautiful weekend here too - watching college football tonight - not my favorite, but it's fun to be in the same room doing something together as he slept and napped so much during the last weeks of rads and the 2 weeks post.

Later
Phyllis

denistd's picture
denistd
Posts: 491
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi, in April I was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer, stage 3. After meeting with the doctors We all decided to go the radiation and chemo route. I had 35 rad sessions, ask if the machine is the latest trilogy machine, this is the one that circles your head and neck firing beams in 12 or 13 locations to get at the tumor. I had 3 infusions of high dose cistplatin. I finished my treatment on June 17th. I am feeling much better now and am back to a somewhat normal life. I had a pet scan last month wich showed clear. A videostrobe of my throat showed the tumor was gone. My voice has returned to 95% normal. I lost it completely before the treatment and did not know whether it would come back, it did. A lot of good cells and glands are going to be kicked in the teeth. The dry mouth, no taste or lousy taste, thyroid damage, saliva gland almost obliterated. eat and eat and eat. Drink drink and drink. Weight loss can be dramatic, I lost 16 lbs fro diagnosis to now, it is just beginnig to move upwards by a couple of pounds. My taste returned in August and is now almost all the way back except for chocolate, that always seems to feel slimy. Radiation will cause a flood of mucus, especially if you try to slepp laying down, I slept in a stting position for 3 months, but again by August I was sleeping prone again. It's gonna get rough but hang in there and it will be worthwile. Denis

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

This is very encouraging new for those who are not quite as far along. My husband is 4 weeks out and things are definitely becoming better, but he finds it frustrating that recovery doesn't go faster. Thanks for the post. PK

denistd's picture
denistd
Posts: 491
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi PK, Yes,so far I have not had too much to complain about. I still do have some side effects hanging on. My throat was so swollen at the end of treatments that thin liquids made me cough a little, doc explained that it was getting past the valve that shuts the airway and small amounts of water were getting in there "going down the wrong hole" we have all had that happen. That has now resolved itself. when I wake up in the morning my throat around the adams apple is swollen. it is an edema and is caused by non drainage of the glands,an hour of being up and the swelling goes away, gravity!!! doc said it will resolve. Biggest issue for was my teeth, I had two that got decayed during radiation. So that I could get them safeley pulled I had to have 20 daily sessions of 2 hours in a hyperbaric chamber, when the 20 treatments were done I had the two teeth pulled (both rear wisdom teeth) then back to the hyperbaric chamber for 10 more sessions. Mouth is still sore (finished on the 30th.)When the hair that I lost (from the radiation beam going through the jaw and nape of the neck) came back it was pitch black, I am mostly grey so the plan that I had to grow a goatee was dropped. I am back at work. So take care and have faith, all will be well. Denis

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

My husband was just diagnosed with the same- He just started treatment radiation therapy for 7 weeks straight, 5 days a week, off Sat/Sunday.

He will get chemo every 10 days in between. They inserted a feeding tube first just in case he gets to the point that he cannot eat he will have some way of getting nutrition. He has had one round of chemo and two sessions of radiation. So far no side effects other than fatigue. They say however that side effects could take up to a week to show up.

I recommend Biotene mouthwash as with Radiation it gives you drymouth. You can find it in Walgreens.....

I hope that you keep your spirits up and remain positive and eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So that you don't lose weight.

Sincerely- Cancer Spouse, Mary

denistd's picture
denistd
Posts: 491
Joined: Apr 2009

Tyler, I am glad to hear that your husband got the tube. What your oncology doc is not yet telling you is that the last ten sessions of radiation they drop the amount of angles down ro five and crank up the rads, here it becomes tumor site specific, whereas before it was tumor and surrounding areas. The side effects rocket,cannot eat as before, swallowing is a major hurdle, any voice he may have at that point goes away, it will stop the gargling, for me the biotene mouthwash became a swish only mouthwash. That is why it is so important to have the tube, it is the way to stay fed and up to weight and hydrated. Expect the chemo to drive his blood cell counts down as well as kidney function, this will be slightly elevated. Denis

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks so much for the advise- at this point I try not to tell him what other people are dealing with as the treatment goes on as it upsets him. His is an active duty marine and a real "mans man" and I try to keep everything upbeat and positive. Right now he is eating well, just tired and I know to expect the worse as the treatment progresses. We've got everything lined up. The food will be delivered from a facility and tomorrow they come to the house to show us how to use the feeding tube if necessary. I appreciate any advise that you have. My name is Mary. My user name is the name of our two chihuahuas- Tyler and Shirley (HA!)

Have a blessed Sunday, take care! Mary

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

i totally hear you about telling your husband what you are reading...i found the same with mine..it upsets him but i am only telling him so he has the knowledge that we have...he is also a marine...tough and pigheaded...lol

pk, jim had a pretty bad today which i found rather odd...he got very tired rather quickly...perhaps it just the anticipation of chemo #2 which is taking place on tuesday...he actually feels badly because my birthday is wednesday and he doesnt feel he will be up to going for dinner or anything like that...is he kidding??? the best present i could get is just for us to be together...over the past 56 years, i've had enough presents !!!

denis, thanx for the heads up with the last radiation treatments...it's in my book to ask the oncologist and radiologist on tuesday.

i have to say this whole thing really sucks !!! i am a very strong and determined person but this has just taken the wind out of my sails...i find that i am crying at the drop of a dime and have an ache inside me that i cannot possibly describe.

i know we will all get thru this...we just have to remain positive altho i have to say, if one more person tells me that, i'm gonna have to hit em...lol

just want you all to know how much i love this site and i do sincerely wish us all well !!

xoxo
debbi

denistd's picture
denistd
Posts: 491
Joined: Apr 2009

Mary and Debbi: Please thank your spouses for their service to this land of ours. Denis

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

I will- thanks for the support!!!

Mary

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Debbi=

Can I ask where your husband is stationed? Semper Fi to your hubby!and thank him for the service as well! I was also in the Marine Corp for 8 years.

It's nice to be able to talk to someone else who is going through the same issues. We are out here in California....where you are guys?

Bless both of you!

Mary

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Debbi=

Can I ask where your husband is stationed? Semper Fi to your hubby!and thank him for the service as well! I was also in the Marine Corp for 8 years.

It's nice to be able to talk to someone else who is going through the same issues. We are out here in California....where you are guys?

Bless both of you!

Mary

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Debbi=

Can I ask where your husband is stationed? Semper Fi to your hubby!and thank him for the service as well! I was also in the Marine Corp for 8 years.

It's nice to be able to talk to someone else who is going through the same issues. We are out here in California....where you are guys?

Bless both of you!

Mary

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

he is not stationed anywhere mary...he has been out of the marines for quite a while but you know what they say...once a marine, always a marine...and he is a true marine right down to the corp !!! he is from the Nam era

we are in NY on the eastern end of Long Island

got some questions for all to see:

holistic?? he has been reading all kinds of things on holistic medicine...kinda makes me crazy...he says "farrah fawcett did it" well farrah fawcett had money to burn to go else where. i think he is second quessing everything which is understandable but conventional medicine doesnt exactly suck, does it??? he has this chiropractor who is into this stuff and is, what i think, shoving it down his throat which i think is totally wrong.

going for chemo #2 tomorrow...our neice is meeting us there to take me thru a dry run..i will be staying with her in queens while he is in the hospital starting december 27...crap, i hate this. i want us to be normal again...our daughter, who is 22, is really having a hard time...wont talk about it...tears up from time to time but wont discuss...i am at a loss at what to do with her... she gets angry when i try to talk to her about this...any suggestions on how to deal with the kids????

love you all
xoxo

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Oh I totally know what you mean about once a marine always a marine- we are over here in Sunny California.

I have friends who are really into the holistic stuff too and while I do think that some of that stuff may aid I am a firm believer in the conventional medicine. You must also try to understand that he is probably just very scared and looking at it from all angles. I think that my husband and I have really started looking at all the healthier things in life that could probably help make things better. However, we are both physcially fit, eat healthy and this still happened to us....so being healthy really doesn't make you immune from the cancer beast.

I don't have children however when my father had cancer, my younger sister took it much harder than I did. I am the "matter of fact" one in the house and deal with things as they come. I know that we each handle things much differently but you have to get her to open up and talk about it....share her feelings just get it out, she will find that it will help her to release her emotions....scream, shout, get angry...it's ok!

Tell her that you love her and that's it okay to be angry about it......

Let me know how it goes....take care, Mary

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

Holistic??? I know many people search out these options but.......I believe cancer is a bit stronger and tougher to beat than this approach can provide. You are going through the worst part of this right now. Once you get into the treatment it will be somewhat easier to cope with. It is so frightening, but if you can just embrace it and go forward it really does help(from our experience anyway). As you said most of us are not privy to traveling all over looking for treatment. It sounds like you are in the right place for you.

We do not have children, but a good friend who's husband went thru cancer treatment found that her daughter found alot of support and comfort from her friends - more so than from her mother. You have an awful lot on your plate right now. It will get easier.

Now after saying all this - when would you like to run away and meet me in Europe??? Ha Ha
PK

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

I AM SO THERE !!! lol would absolutely love to run away...but...cant...that damn cancer thing, ya know??

jim had his second chemo today and it really kicked his butt...feels lousy to say the least

he is having a port put in nov 30 and he caved and is getting the feeding tube put in when they admit him on dec 27..thank god...his oncologist said very emphatically that it would be the best thing for him...i guess he just had to hear it from someone other than me.

talked to the nutritionist about the "holistic" stuff and she totally explained the "whys" as to not being a good choice for him and he listened to that too..what am i? wood??? lol

at least he is more receptive now to the conventional side and seems to accept what they said.

daughter seems to be angry more than anything..very snappish with me (so what else is new?)
i think she is really starting to grasp the reality of it all...her friends and my nieces are helping her a great deal which is good...i just dont want to be shut out or shut down but i guess this too shall pass

my birthday is tomorrow and he surprised me when we got home with a fire pit in the backyard...he arranged for one of buddies to build it while we were gone today...GOD, I LOVE THAT MAN !!!

talk soon
debbi

pk's picture
pk
Posts: 192
Joined: Aug 2009

I think your Jim sounds like my Bob. They seem to still want to make us happy no matter the circumstances. So many have indicated that their spouses or they themselves have gotten bitter, angry and nasty. Bob has really not. He is not suffering depression, nor is he angry, and he does not take things out on me. I think this has made it so much easier for me. Bless his heart. I love him for it.

Thank God Jim agreed to the feeding tube. It's a life saver and it's not forever. Bob is 5 weeks out and next week he will have his taken out.

Happy Birthday to you. Perhaps you can celebrate with a fire in that new firepit. And if not this birthday then the next one.

I'm glad you are on your way to getting thru this. I hate it too, but we just don't have any choice but to accept this and move forward. Sucks, I know!!! Celebrate tomorrow - it's your day.
PK

debbij
Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2009

he's not doing too good today...seems 2 to 3 days after chemo, it starts to kick in..he should be fine by sunday tho...thats usually how it works...going for the port next week...doing it locally so we dont have to travel back into manhattan

very happy he decided on the feeding tube also...oncologist said he would basically be a fool if he didnt do it and god forbid, james should be a fool !!!

lovin my firepit altho havent had a chance to sit by it...its raining tonight :(

found a lovely apt to rent near the hospital while he is there...they are willing to rent to me for 5 days every other week which is awesome...i made a lot of inquiries and the outpouring of generosity just blew my mind...there are definitely some great people out there !!!!

i feel so blessed to have you guys to vent to...to his oncology/radiology team...my co-workers...everyone has just been great...they say that what goes around, comes around..i'm so glad i'm a nice person...can you imagine if i was b@$%h !! good lord !!!

thanx for the birthday wishes...i dont even know you guys but i love you all
xoxox

TylerShirley
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Happy early birthday to you!!!!

My husband had the port catheter and feeding tube placed in prior to treatment starting- it was the best thing because the first night after receiving the feeding tube and the surgery medicine wore off, he was in so much pain, his abs kept contracting and he threw up which made the pain worse. His throat hurt like a bad sore throat for about a week afterwards and it was hard to eat- (I recommend some good soup during this time)- However before you live the hospital make sure that the docs give you some pain medications (Percacet)- they didn't give us any and he paid theprice. Luckily I had some Tylenol PM (the miracle over the counter drug) and I gave it to him which knocked him out and relieved the pain.

The port catheter was a simple hour long procedure- The area where the insert it will be a little sensitve for a few days but that will subside and he will not feel it. I recommend cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol and put some benadryl lotion on the area as it will itch and may break out.

Trust me the feeding tube is a god send especially when they don't want to eat or drink!!! Let me know how it goes with his procedure!

Happy Birthday again and God bless- Mary

RickyB1363
Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2009

The best doctor for Head and Neck Cancer with the best results and the highest education levels in the United States is Gregory Weinstein at the University of Pennsylvania Medical Center t he is the first docotor in the United States to performmost of the latest and best procedures for all forms on head and neck cancers. I went through 35 radiation treatments to only find out that it didn't work and my cancer went from less than stage 1 to stage 3 with my doctor telling me I was cancer free. After my last visit to him I had a cat scan and found out it was in stage 3. I did my research and found Dr Weinstein and he is a miracle worker. I was told in Alabama that my only option was to have a full larengectomy. After meeting with Doctor Weinstein he told me my voice box could be reconstructed and I would still be able to talk, even though I can't talk like I did before I don't have a permenant hole in my throat like everyone else told me had to happen. I did find out later that chemo and radiation is not the first option. Please do you research on doctors and don't be a victim like I was. I sent a friend to Dr Weinstein who had the same thing I started out with in Alabama and his cancer was lasered off and he has been cancer free for over 3 years know. He is the best.
Thanks Ricky

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