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My husband's battle has ended ;(

MichelleP's picture
MichelleP
Posts: 254
Joined: May 2009

I wanted to let you know that my husband's long and brave battle has ended. He fought so bravely and I'm so proud of him. We couldn't do anything....the cancer finally beat us.

His last moments were peaceful and I was holding him in my arms. I told him that everything was going to be okay and that he needs to follow the light. I know he heard me because he moved his eyes and squeezed my hand.

Two days before he passed he sat up....opened his eyes...smiled and asked me to "Marry Him". That is a memory I will forever hold in my heart.

I want to thank all of you for the support you've given me during our journey. You've helped more than you will ever know.

Now my husband is at peace and I look forward to the day we can be together again. Eternity of love and peace.....what a beautiful thing.

Michelle

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry. I know that it's a blessing that he is at peace, but those left behind will miss him every day. Prayers, Fay

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

Michelle,

Words can't express the sorrow I felt when I read your subject line. I know you loved your husband deeply and gave 110% of yourself during his battle with cancer. Just know in your heart that he realized you were there for him and loving him til the end.

I'm truly sorry for your loss, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Please continue to post on these boards as you have many friends here who care deeply about you. I wish there was more I could say that would help you and take away some of your pain.

Your friend always,
Glenna

sue Siwek
Posts: 281
Joined: Jun 2009

michelle, so sorry hope you are with people who love you and loved your husband, allow them to comfort you. thoughts and prayers are with you.

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1160
Joined: May 2008

I am very sorry for the loss of your love. my thoughts and prayers are with you. I was holding my husband also i feel blessed .

michelle n

onlyhuman
Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

Michelle,
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't say anything to make this better but do be kind to yourself.
Sangeeta

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

Michelle,

Every time you experience an act of kindness or a special event, it is your husband reminding you that he loves you and wants your life to be pleasant. Your husband has merely made his transition to a peaceful pain-free state of existence, where we will all be, eventually.

Love and Courage,

Rick

MinnieMN
Posts: 47
Joined: Aug 2009

Michelle, I'm so sorry you and your husband have had to go through this, but at least he is at peace now. I know you've heard that a million times, and it probably doesn't make it easier, but please know that people care about you, and please take good care and be good to yourself-I'm sure your husband would want exactly that. My thoughts, prayers, and deepest sympathy are with you. I know you don't know me, but if you ever need just an ear, feel free to let me know. I really feel for you and what your going through...

Hugs,
L

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

I just wanted to send you my condolances. There are no words at this time but I know that you can rest in the knowledge that you both shared a wonderful life and love that never ends. Don't hesitate to come online and share your thoughts with us still and we we are so glad to know that we could help at some point, even a little.

Hugs Michelle and Blessings, Bluerose

jestawoman
Posts: 35
Joined: Oct 2009

So sorry for your loss Michelle... BIG hugs and much sympathy. In the coming days, remember you have lots of folks here thinking about you and sending you light and strength....
Peace.

SonSon's picture
SonSon
Posts: 186
Joined: Jul 2009

Michelle,
Huggs and kisses to you.
What a sweet moment "marry me"...he loves you so much.
Fatima

RE's picture
RE
Posts: 4606
Joined: Feb 2004

Oh Michelle I am so very sorry for you loss, there are no words I can pen here that will make it better. I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers. Sending a tender hug to you as you travel down this new road. I believe your husband is out there watching over you with all the love he has always had for you.

Hugs,

RE

junklady's picture
junklady
Posts: 88
Joined: Aug 2009

Michelle-I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. I have no great words of comfort, but I want you to know I am thinking of you. You were so lucky to have his love. Hugs Michelle.

MichelleP's picture
MichelleP
Posts: 254
Joined: May 2009

I thought that making financial phone calls could wait a day or too but I was wrong. Within the first 24 hrs his adult children were trying to access bank accts and pension accts. It's been just awful...I had to spend most of my day yesterday calling and freezing accounts. Then I got a call from the mortuary saying they demanded release of him and death certificates. I'm living in a nightmare. I need to just lay down and let the tears flow and grieve. I'm fighting with everything I have to contain my composure. This is really hard.

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

I am so sorry to hear that your children have been so insensitive and greedy. It's unfathonable to hear that at a time like this when grieving would take priority for all in the family, just awful. I am so so sorry you have to deal with this at a time like this, sounds like you did the right thing by freezing the accounts though. Is there no one to help you with all the details, like a friend? You have to get someone in to give you a hand. Maybe a lawyer could handle the legal issues like the mortuary and financial stuff for the time til you are ready to take some things on.

I hope things gel better for you in the next few days. Even though we know the end is near for a loved one it always comes as a big shock and all the details overwhelm us. Sending you a prayer and a big hug. Blessings, Bluerose

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

Michelle,

To provide you time for emotional and spiritual healing, you need to turn estate matters over to a reliable attorney. If you belong to a church or synagogue, you may find one advertising in the back of the weekly bulletin. If you do not have access to a faith community or similar referral, you can search for an estate attorney via:
http://www.search-attorneys.com/ You need a legal gladiator in your corner.

It is very unfortunate that the passing of loved ones often separates the "vultures" from the "angels" in families.

Love and Courage!

Rick

SonSon's picture
SonSon
Posts: 186
Joined: Jul 2009

This is not a cancer specific behavior (we can all recognize that, right?).

This is a family dynamics issue. This may be a blessing for you in that you do not have to spend any more time with them unless you want to...self preservation. Take care of yourself no matter how many toes you have to step on.

I wish I could help you...I could be your page with the notebook and cell phone...helping tie all the loose ends for you. I am pretty organized like that. And I would make you wonderful fresh blended lemon and lime drink - NO alcohol, either...just yum.

Fatima

trish07's picture
trish07
Posts: 141
Joined: Jul 2009

Michelle, my heart goes out to you for your recent loss...I know you mentioned before that you do not have alot of friends where you are living, so I am glad to see that you are still coming here. I'ts so sad that the grown children are creating unneeded stress for you. Just do everything you can to protect yourself and hand the rest to God.

I have seen on the board what a heartfelt support you are being to our friend Patty in her time of need...what a remarkable and caring lady you are.

God Bless You and take special care of yourself during this time,
Trish

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry that you are having to fight this new battle. It's sad when relatives care more about funds and things than people. I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers. An attorney might be a good idea. Fay

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

OPPS! I double posted somehow. Fay

pattynonews's picture
pattynonews
Posts: 176
Joined: Aug 2009

Your strenght Michelle is giving me hope I just pray that I can be as strong as you, I feel like I shutting down already, I am so afraid to lose Jack, I honestly believe he does not have months, i believe it is going to be sooner and it is breaking my heart, I just hope he knows who I am at the end and he knows that I will always love him and we will be one soul, and one spirit, I just cant stop crying now, Please help me get though this, I need some support

MichelleP's picture
MichelleP
Posts: 254
Joined: May 2009

I felt the same way. At one point I truly thought we could beat this cancer. I was in total denial running around like a robot with no sleep....there was one and only thing on my mind. Saving my Donald. I thought that with all the love I had for him and the constant prayers to God asking for more time that somehow a miracle would happen. It didn't my dear....but I can tell you that I don't blame God....I blame the cancer. In fact after his passing I went out of my mind throwing out anything and everything in this house that reminded me of the cancer.

As far as strength....if I weren't 100% positive that my love is still here with me at this very moment I would crumble. I even prayed to my husband after his passing and asked him to talk to God and ask that I could follow. Just the thought of living my life without him is something I couldn't and can't imagine even at this moment.

I'll be sending you a pm following this post. Please....please....contact me anytime you want. You and I are and have lived the same painful journey and perhaps we can help each other. I truly care Patty!

PS And as far as knowing who you are and being able to hear you at the end....he can and will....don't stop talking to him. He CAN hear you!

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