EXTREAMLY CONFUSED!!

Hi my name is Angela and my mother has been diagnosed with Kidney Cancer. She went in for a urine test for a new medication and they found blood. Well she had a sonogram and then another urine test. A week later she had a CT and today (a week from the CT) she has had a MRI. She talked to the surgeon on Wed of last week and on Thurs she is going to have her bladder checked. She is telling me that they don't know if it has spread and they actually aren't shure it is Cancer. BUT she tells me today that she has her surgery date set for Nov 2.
With all that said is she telling me everything? She said that she don't know if it has spread. At first they said that it was a mass and it was 4X9 and that its a weak estimate. (I just called and asked her that LOL) And that the kidney is basically non functional. She sais that she is telling me everything she knows but I have a feeling she isn't!! I am extreamly scared and confused. What she is telling me is conflicting what I am reading. I know can't go soaly on what I read. She isn't letting me go to any of her appts with her. And that is another thing that is bothering me. She is on medicare and she has had all these tests in a matter of 3 weeks. She said that she isn't shure if they have done any specific blood work. Not my mother at all!!! She is a question asker and needs all the facts! This isn't the case. I guess what I'm asking is from what I have typed is ALL of what I know. And she said that I know exactly what she knows. What I'm asking is shouldn't she know more than that??? It makes absolutly no sence to me that there is NOTHING!! Wouldn't the CT have shown if it has spread? She said that they only looked at the kidney. And this MRI today is to see if her left kidney will sustain her after the right is removed. Does that sound right???? My gut is telling me no. I don't want to go to any and all the sights cauze I don't want misinformation or too much I'm sticking to the little that I got here the basics! I just want to be prepared for the worst but then again pray for the best!!! I'm getting this far by not associating this information that I have so far as not with my mother. I know its her but I'm looking or trying to look at the facts and the fact is she isn't giving me anything to go with.
Anyhow any info would be appreciated. I'm even ready to give a kidney if the other isn't sutable soooooo..... So much has happened and nothing has been said. UGH I hope I make sence. I'm just so confused!!!

Thanks Angela