☺When Is It Time?☻

Kristin N
Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was just wondering, when is it time to quit posting on here? When is it time to move on? Is there a certain time to move on? Is it after our treatments are finished? Is it 1 to 5 years after our NED news? Or does the site, or, has the site become too much of a comfort blanket to us? A place where any of us can come anytime of the day or night for a laugh, a cry, to vent or just to read what other bc survivors are doing. Or, is it because of the cyber friends we have met on here? The ones that we connected with and plan on always staying in touch with? Or, is it when we go back to work and can't find the time to be here? When is it time????????????????????

Kristin ♥
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Comments

  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #2
    I am certain...
    It is quite different for each and every one of us, Kristin. A very personal and individual decision for one and all.

    There is no obligation, we sign no contracts... All are just as free to leave just as much as they are free to join.

    I became a member to mark my own five year anniversary for completion of all invasive treatment, as a longer-term survivor. With the intention to offer support and encouragement to anyone and everyone who might welcome it. Therefore, for me, I'm here to stay... While hoping there will come a day, in my own lifetime, when cancer discussion boards - just like this one - won't be needed anymore.

    And as far as staying in touch with friends made here, the ACS provides the PM feature - where we can safely exchange more personal information off the board (which is open forum).

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #3
    Christmas Girl said:

    I am certain...
    It is quite different for each and every one of us, Kristin. A very personal and individual decision for one and all.

    There is no obligation, we sign no contracts... All are just as free to leave just as much as they are free to join.

    I became a member to mark my own five year anniversary for completion of all invasive treatment, as a longer-term survivor. With the intention to offer support and encouragement to anyone and everyone who might welcome it. Therefore, for me, I'm here to stay... While hoping there will come a day, in my own lifetime, when cancer discussion boards - just like this one - won't be needed anymore.

    And as far as staying in touch with friends made here, the ACS provides the PM feature - where we can safely exchange more personal information off the board (which is open forum).

    Kind regards, Susan

    I agree
    Susan, you said it perfectly! Like you said, hopefully there won't be a need for this someday as the cure will be found and cancer will be "that disease" of a long time ago.

    Kristin ♥
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
    #4
    Individual decision maybe?
    I suppose it depends on the person. I imagine for some, it is a comfort zone they don't want to leave, even though their greatest needs have already been met.

    Each of us has something to offer to others.

    On any given day, we read posts from the newly diagnosed, who are [as I was/am], literally shaking in their shoes, and replies from the more experienced sisters who step forward and offer encouragement, comfort and support.

    As long as there is a need for you help, comfort and information, it continues to be appropriate and important to be here for those in need.
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #5
    m_azingrace said:

    Individual decision maybe?
    I suppose it depends on the person. I imagine for some, it is a comfort zone they don't want to leave, even though their greatest needs have already been met.

    Each of us has something to offer to others.

    On any given day, we read posts from the newly diagnosed, who are [as I was/am], literally shaking in their shoes, and replies from the more experienced sisters who step forward and offer encouragement, comfort and support.

    As long as there is a need for you help, comfort and information, it continues to be appropriate and important to be here for those in need.

    I just joined, but I guess,
    I just joined, but I guess, I hope that when I finish my treatment, I won't need all of the support or encouragement anymore. I hope that I feel confident that I am cured and that I just go out and finish living a great life! I don't know, who knows. I may still be on here posting until they shut it down because noone has cancer anymore. And, that would be ok with me.

    Angie
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #6
    I guess for me
    it's not so much a comfort blanket,it's my friends on here who have been or are in the midst of what I've been through.We all have a common bond-bc. I feel like I am encouraged and can encourage on here-get advice and can give it.
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #7
    m_azingrace said:

    Individual decision maybe?
    I suppose it depends on the person. I imagine for some, it is a comfort zone they don't want to leave, even though their greatest needs have already been met.

    Each of us has something to offer to others.

    On any given day, we read posts from the newly diagnosed, who are [as I was/am], literally shaking in their shoes, and replies from the more experienced sisters who step forward and offer encouragement, comfort and support.

    As long as there is a need for you help, comfort and information, it continues to be appropriate and important to be here for those in need.

    Yes Gracie
    it truly is an individual decision. And, you are so right that each of us has something to offer. And, so much too.

    Kristin ♥
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    #8
    outdoorgirl said:

    I guess for me
    it's not so much a comfort blanket,it's my friends on here who have been or are in the midst of what I've been through.We all have a common bond-bc. I feel like I am encouraged and can encourage on here-get advice and can give it.

    outdoorgirl
    I agree 100%!! Hugs, Diane
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    #9
    chickad52 said:

    outdoorgirl
    I agree 100%!! Hugs, Diane

    Kristin
    I don't know how to answer your ? but what I can say is that I don't know where I would be without all of you! I'm newly diagnosed and haven't even started treatment yet, I come here for knowledge, advice, support and to hear other's stories and experiences. I'd be so lost without all of you! So, for me I'd say STAY! Even if you just pop in once in a while to tell your story or to update on how your living life with NED. It helps. You have something to give!
    Hugz,
    Cathy
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #10
    It is of course sooo
    It is of course sooo subjective,isn't? I have never stopped coming to CSN since I joined in 2003, and for myriad reasons. I know what my personality type is, and as prolific as I know I seem, and as much as I like to write, and hopefully show myself as empathetic, in truth I am quite shy in person. I have a small circle of friends, and have had them since Jr High School.(I am now 60) I am acquainted with lots of people, but I don't really hang out with a group. I feel comfotable here online with this cyber-family! I don't work outside the home, so I can spend as much time as I want in here...or not!

    Another thing I know about me is that I love to "Pay It Forward"...I was at such a horrible place in my personal life when I was diagnosed. CSN was literally a life-line for me. I honestly don't know how I would have come through all of this without CSN. Everytime I want to leave, or perhaps ignore a newbie, I think, "that was me" and then I can't bring myself to leave.

    So, not working outside of them home, not having children, and living with a man who is not only loving but generous, gives me time ( and the ongoing desire) to be here.

    Being honest, if my personality were more outgoing, and if I had perhaps grown up here in this small town rather than coming here after a divorce, and especially if I had to go to a job here, no doubt I would have been here less!

    So, obviously, there is no right and wrong! The Life Afer Cancer we all desire takes different forms.I have friends who got out of treatment and never looked back. Cancer was THEN, and it has nothing to do with them now. They do not ever wear pink ribbons, they have never joined CSN, they don't do the Relay For Life, none of their lives seem connected to anything having to do with cancer. Does this make them less thankful or empathetic than I am? Of Course Not!

    I know this is probably of no help to you~ each of us has to decide for ourselves when ( or if) we leave! But you knew that already, didn't you????

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #11
    I came here after treatment
    I came here after treatment was over to help by answering posts. I have lots of time so I will continue until the lights go out, I guess.
  • aurora2009
    aurora2009 Member Posts: 544 Member
    #12
    Marcia527 said:

    I came here after treatment
    I came here after treatment was over to help by answering posts. I have lots of time so I will continue until the lights go out, I guess.

    I think this is a great question!
    And one that I'm sure we all ask our selves, I don't know that I'll ever leave per say, but I might not post as often, I read the posts everyday no matter what though, but have gone back to work and don't always have the time to answer.

    This site has brought me new friendships, and hope, as well as comfort and laughs. It just feels like home for me. My hope is to give back what's been given to me, even if it's just now and then.

    I think it has to be a personal decision, what would all of once newbie's do without help of other survivers's? In a way I feel like I need to be here.

    Aurora
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #13
    hmmmm
    I came here in 2004 (5 years after treatment) when it came back in 07 I stayed away (go figure!) I come here to help those who may need the knowledge I have acquired along the way, I come to encourage and to lift up those in need. I also come here to cry, vent and listen. Sometimes I stay away for a bit, but then I return because I feel bound to many of you and bound to give back whatever I can in return for all I have received.

    It is personal for each of us, I cannot put a time limit on when one should exit.

    Love to each of you,

    RE
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #14
    RE said:

    hmmmm
    I came here in 2004 (5 years after treatment) when it came back in 07 I stayed away (go figure!) I come here to help those who may need the knowledge I have acquired along the way, I come to encourage and to lift up those in need. I also come here to cry, vent and listen. Sometimes I stay away for a bit, but then I return because I feel bound to many of you and bound to give back whatever I can in return for all I have received.

    It is personal for each of us, I cannot put a time limit on when one should exit.

    Love to each of you,

    RE

    Kind of know
    I don't know if anyone could really answer that for sure. I just came on the site, so, I planned on staying till I am done with rads. I need support and encouragement, even if I do sound so strong. I think we all need that. I hope after that, I will be busy carrying on with my life and not need it as much.

    Sue :)
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #15
    Ritzy said:

    Kind of know
    I don't know if anyone could really answer that for sure. I just came on the site, so, I planned on staying till I am done with rads. I need support and encouragement, even if I do sound so strong. I think we all need that. I hope after that, I will be busy carrying on with my life and not need it as much.

    Sue :)

    It's hard to stay away
    and I won't make myself go without you all. I may get to wrapped up in other things or just to busy, but will always check and see how all my favorite women in the world are.
    Love, jackie
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #16
    rjjj said:

    It's hard to stay away
    and I won't make myself go without you all. I may get to wrapped up in other things or just to busy, but will always check and see how all my favorite women in the world are.
    Love, jackie

    I have no idea. I am not on
    I have no idea. I am not on that much now anyway.

    It is a good question Kristin.


    Kylez ♥
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #17
    Kylez said:

    I have no idea. I am not on
    I have no idea. I am not on that much now anyway.

    It is a good question Kristin.


    Kylez ♥

    When I was in rads, I logged
    When I was in rads, I logged on about everyday because I needed it I guess. But now that I am done with rads and treatment, I do find that I am on less and less, which I think is good, for me at least. I have found other "things" to occupy my time! hehe

    ♥ Noel
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #18
    I'm a lifer.....
    There is no doubt in my mind that I will be here as long as the boards exist. I am a giver and enjoy helping others. I love to tell about my experiences in hopes that someone walks away enlightened from them. Besides, I have no friends on the outside (I work with ALL men!) and so (lucky all of you!) I have attached myself here! Besides, if I wasn't here, I would just be in my own little world all the time. But it's OK, they know me there! (LOL). ♥ Pammy
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #19
    A BIG THANK YOU!!
    This is for all of you wonderful individuals that are here to help and support us newbies. I had searched on-line for something just like this and was so happy that I finally found you all. This whole process is a very scary thing and it's been made more manageable by gaining knowledge from people who had been there. I feel like we can ask absolutely anything and there is always someone out there that can provide some knowledge or experience or just support if that's what's needed. It is truly amazing!! I, too, like to help people and can see myself on this board for a very long time. Once I'm finished with my treatments if I can help someone new get through the pain and answer some questions or provide guidance, I think I'll be there for support. Again, thank you for your support and caring!!
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #20
    MyTurnNow said:

    A BIG THANK YOU!!
    This is for all of you wonderful individuals that are here to help and support us newbies. I had searched on-line for something just like this and was so happy that I finally found you all. This whole process is a very scary thing and it's been made more manageable by gaining knowledge from people who had been there. I feel like we can ask absolutely anything and there is always someone out there that can provide some knowledge or experience or just support if that's what's needed. It is truly amazing!! I, too, like to help people and can see myself on this board for a very long time. Once I'm finished with my treatments if I can help someone new get through the pain and answer some questions or provide guidance, I think I'll be there for support. Again, thank you for your support and caring!!

    I am on less and less with
    I am on less and less with each day, and that is good. I do try to welcome the newbies and give advice or comfort when it is needed. If I can help someone, even just one somewhere along the line, then all of my time on the www is worth it.

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #21
    DianeBC said:

    I am on less and less with
    I am on less and less with each day, and that is good. I do try to welcome the newbies and give advice or comfort when it is needed. If I can help someone, even just one somewhere along the line, then all of my time on the www is worth it.

    Hugs, Diane ♥

    Not goodbye yet
    This site was recommended to me and I am so happy that I found it. But, I am finding that since I finished radiation treatments, that I am not on as much as I was. I, like someone else wrote, think that is what is best. My cyber friends here will be with me forever, whether I am on this site or not. Their memory will be with me always. But, I am not leaving yet, so, no goodbye's!

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣

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