new to this site and new diagnosis

LauraLL
LauraLL Member Posts: 9
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was just diagnosed this week and thought at the worst I'd have radiation and Tamoxifen. My oncolgist told me that it was so spread out that I needed a mastectomy. I was floored! She got me into the plastic surgeon on the same day and boy, my head was swimming. Luckily my boyfriend went with me and though we both cried, he was able to comprehend what she was telling me. Luckily I have what everyone is saying is the best breast cancer doctor in the city. She works at the University and is a teaching physician and does tons of research. She is a bundle of energy and does surgery 7 days a week. She is very dedicated to women with breast cancer. She is one of the sweetest women I think I've ever met. The plastic surgeon was equally impressive though I haven't seen any before and after pictures of his work yet. I will see them Tuesday.
I'm scared to death. I know that the cancer is from the inside of the breast all the way across and to my underarm, deep by the muscle.

Don't know about the sentinel nodes yet or if I'll need chemo and/or radiation yet.

Just found all this out this week, but have so many things I have on my "to do" list that I was wondering if waiting until October 1st is too long to wait for surgery.

Any thoughts?
«1

Comments

  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    so sorry!
    LauraL - I'm new to this site too. Welcome. You will find support and encouragement here. I'm so sorry to hear about your reason for being here. I had a biopsy four weeks ago and things haven't been moving that quickly for me. I thinking waiting is part of the process, but others who have more experience than I do will soon post on here.

    My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 2000 and wanted a masectomy that day, but her surgeon told her it wasn't like pac-man. She had one a couple of weeks later. Waiting is the worst part.

    Hang in there. You have sisters here who have been through it and will walk with you.

    Much love and hugs,
    d.h.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Welcome!
    But sorry you have the thing that qualifies you being here!

    Listen to your doctors. Take a notebook to write things down (this darn cancer also affects the hearing and memory...lol!). Ask them about October...they know the drill about how anxious we all are to 'get this all over with'. Try not to worry-I know, easier said than done, but if you are happy with your treatment team, trust them.

    Cancer changed my life (I had two...rectal followed by breast 6 months later). But it was not ALL negative. I am now very aware of the time limit on my life. So, I tell people I love them, do the things on my 'A' list, and try to start (and end!) each day happy. I try to live the expression "Don't sweat the small stuff, and everything's small". Sure, there are days...but I am over 3 years post treatment (November, 5 years post-diagnosis for the rectal), and the effects of the treatment (I had radical surgery for my colorectal cancer) to save my life are still somewhat there, but I have adapted.

    Hugs, Kathi
  • lanie940
    lanie940 Member Posts: 490
    I was told by my Oncology
    I was told by my Oncology surgeon that they want to remove the cancer withing a 6 week timeframe from the day of diagnosis. I saw mine first time the 24th of July, he told me then I could have either lumpectomy, since it was small and have RADS or have a mastectomy and skip RADs, my chances of recurrance wre the same 30%. So, I told him we were going to Disney World on the 23-29th of Aug, he said, really, I don't want to wait, I want to get it out of you now, with the lumpectomy, you will be healed enough for your vacation. I was scheduled for the following thursday! So Oct 1st is within the right timeframe for you. If they can do it sooner, I'd do it.
  • LauraLL
    LauraLL Member Posts: 9
    KathiM said:

    Welcome!
    But sorry you have the thing that qualifies you being here!

    Listen to your doctors. Take a notebook to write things down (this darn cancer also affects the hearing and memory...lol!). Ask them about October...they know the drill about how anxious we all are to 'get this all over with'. Try not to worry-I know, easier said than done, but if you are happy with your treatment team, trust them.

    Cancer changed my life (I had two...rectal followed by breast 6 months later). But it was not ALL negative. I am now very aware of the time limit on my life. So, I tell people I love them, do the things on my 'A' list, and try to start (and end!) each day happy. I try to live the expression "Don't sweat the small stuff, and everything's small". Sure, there are days...but I am over 3 years post treatment (November, 5 years post-diagnosis for the rectal), and the effects of the treatment (I had radical surgery for my colorectal cancer) to save my life are still somewhat there, but I have adapted.

    Hugs, Kathi

    Kathi - you almost made me
    Kathi - you almost made me cry. My dear friend's husband went through some nasty chemo for rectal cancer and was scheduled for his surgery last Thursday when his dad dropped dead of a massive heart attach so he delayed until they can reschedule him.
    I used not to be a procrastinator but as I've gotten older and grown more tired, I think I have let things go that I often regret. I have always told everyone how much I love them frequently, but I haven't participated in activities like I used to.
    Thanks for helping keep things in perspective.
    Good luck to you too. I'll keep you in my prayers as well.
  • LauraLL
    LauraLL Member Posts: 9

    so sorry!
    LauraL - I'm new to this site too. Welcome. You will find support and encouragement here. I'm so sorry to hear about your reason for being here. I had a biopsy four weeks ago and things haven't been moving that quickly for me. I thinking waiting is part of the process, but others who have more experience than I do will soon post on here.

    My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 2000 and wanted a masectomy that day, but her surgeon told her it wasn't like pac-man. She had one a couple of weeks later. Waiting is the worst part.

    Hang in there. You have sisters here who have been through it and will walk with you.

    Much love and hugs,
    d.h.

    Dawn,
    My biopsy is just a

    Dawn,

    My biopsy is just a little over a week ago. Fortunately, I work for a bunch of gynecologists so they are very educated on breast cancer. They are pushing to have it done tomorrow if possible. I just have some things in my life I need cleaned up right now so that I can go into this with a peaceful attitude.
    I hope that things get moving more quickly for you. My doctor said, days/weeks - yes, months/years - no.
    We have a Gilda's club here in Louisville so I have been in contact with them, but I don't know how much time I have before surgery to attend support groups.
    I will keep you and all my other new friends here in my prayers.
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537
    Hey Laura
    I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you have to go thru the whole waiting thing. Believe me everyone says waiting is the worst and it is so true. Your head can make things so much worse than it may actually be but telling you not to worry is just crazy cuz you will anyway.

    There are lots of women on the board who have been thru it all and they all have helped me thru and we will all help you thru too. Post often when you have questions, if you feel scared or overwhelmed or if you just need to vent. Someone else has been there and they will help.

    I can tell you I am in the middle of chemo. I am hairless and boobless... at times scared, at times down, at times optimistic. Its a rollercoaster...but we have to play the hand we are dealt and keep on going on with life otherwise cancer will take over our lives and we cant let that happen.

    Post often...we are always here for you
    Hugs
    LInda T
  • LauraLL
    LauraLL Member Posts: 9
    mlmjt1 said:

    Hey Laura
    I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you have to go thru the whole waiting thing. Believe me everyone says waiting is the worst and it is so true. Your head can make things so much worse than it may actually be but telling you not to worry is just crazy cuz you will anyway.

    There are lots of women on the board who have been thru it all and they all have helped me thru and we will all help you thru too. Post often when you have questions, if you feel scared or overwhelmed or if you just need to vent. Someone else has been there and they will help.

    I can tell you I am in the middle of chemo. I am hairless and boobless... at times scared, at times down, at times optimistic. Its a rollercoaster...but we have to play the hand we are dealt and keep on going on with life otherwise cancer will take over our lives and we cant let that happen.

    Post often...we are always here for you
    Hugs
    LInda T

    Thank you
    Thanks Linda. I want to know as much as I can so I'll know what to expect, but sometimes I think it scares me more. I'm already on a rollercoaster and feel numb, denial, angry, sad, scared, you name it and often they are all at the same time.
    I believe that everything happens for a reason so I try not to question it, but lately, I actually want an answer which I know I'll never get.
    She is hopeful that I will not need rad and chemo, but it depends on the lymphnodes which we won't know until surgery which is another thing that scares me.
    I don't care about losing my hair but I've had so many talk about the sickness and pain from it.
    Please take care of yourself and thank you. I'll be thinking of you too.
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    Laura
    Welcome. And my name is laura too. I was diagnosed in April and didnt have my surgery until June. I went so crazy with the waiting part. It felt like years and i felt like my whole life was on hold. When i went to my surgeon after my surgery and she went over everything they found, i came out with my head swimming. So, take a recorder with you if you can or write it down. She told me so much that i didnt know anything when i left. You are very blessed to have the drs you have. That is so important. I know you are scared. Everyone that goes through this feels the same fear. Your emotions are going to be a roller coster. I know that one day this will all be behind me and it will for you to. I am taking chemo right now and going through the "filling process" on the expanders. I always wanted a boob job, just didnt realize i would have to go thru hell to get it. I am so excited about it though. Keep a good support group and definately keep coming here to read the threads and vent all you want. This site has been a life savior for me and i love it. You will be in my prayers. Take care.

    laura
  • arbojenn
    arbojenn Member Posts: 118
    Prayers are with you
    I am so very sorry you are going through this. I agree with the other posters that if you trust your doctor, follow his/her advice. For most cancers, I don't think a few weeks makes much difference. Waiting IS extrememly difficult, though. We wait on everything, it seems: appointments, test results, then the long wait after to feel comfortable that we have no evidence of disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    arbojenn said:

    Prayers are with you
    I am so very sorry you are going through this. I agree with the other posters that if you trust your doctor, follow his/her advice. For most cancers, I don't think a few weeks makes much difference. Waiting IS extrememly difficult, though. We wait on everything, it seems: appointments, test results, then the long wait after to feel comfortable that we have no evidence of disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Welcome
    Welcome, Laura, to one of the best sources of support you'll find as you begin this wild and crazy journey.

    Unless your doctors feel it's medically important for you to have your surgery quickly, I think it's very important for you to balance your not wanting to wait with giving yourself time to get your head and emotions together and prepare yourself mentally and practically for surgery.

    If it's only been a week since your diagnosis, and all this new information is being thrown at you, I'm sure you feel something like you're on a roller coaster right now -- if you can, take just a little time to find your balance before moving forward.

    Traci
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    TraciInLA said:

    Welcome
    Welcome, Laura, to one of the best sources of support you'll find as you begin this wild and crazy journey.

    Unless your doctors feel it's medically important for you to have your surgery quickly, I think it's very important for you to balance your not wanting to wait with giving yourself time to get your head and emotions together and prepare yourself mentally and practically for surgery.

    If it's only been a week since your diagnosis, and all this new information is being thrown at you, I'm sure you feel something like you're on a roller coaster right now -- if you can, take just a little time to find your balance before moving forward.

    Traci

    Laura
    Welcome Laura.
    I was diagnosed 12/8/08 and had a double mastectomy on 2/2/09. Started chemo on 3/10 and now still in treatment with Herceptin.

    Come here often and ask questions and we all will try and answer them for you. Post with your experiences so others can learn as well.

    Hugs, Margo
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    Hi Laura, Welcome and I'm so
    Hi Laura, Welcome and I'm so sorry about your dx. I understand the emotional rollercoaster you are on. Sounds like you have a good team working for you and that's great. Try to take a deep breath, or a few, to find calmness and clarity as this is what you will need to make some important decisions. Oct 1 is but a breath away but gives you an opportunity to digest what you know and maybe do some research. I know your head is reeling, mine was for a very long time. I wish you the best on your upcoming surgery and hope it's caught very early. Come here often, even if it's just to vent, we love venting........ :)

    hugs
    jan
  • LauraLL
    LauraLL Member Posts: 9

    Hi Laura, Welcome and I'm so
    Hi Laura, Welcome and I'm so sorry about your dx. I understand the emotional rollercoaster you are on. Sounds like you have a good team working for you and that's great. Try to take a deep breath, or a few, to find calmness and clarity as this is what you will need to make some important decisions. Oct 1 is but a breath away but gives you an opportunity to digest what you know and maybe do some research. I know your head is reeling, mine was for a very long time. I wish you the best on your upcoming surgery and hope it's caught very early. Come here often, even if it's just to vent, we love venting........ :)

    hugs
    jan

    Thanks to everyone
    Thanks to everyone for their kind words of support and understanding. I never knew that something so devastating could make me bond with complete strangers.... but you are not strangers at all.

    There is a peacefulness about having those who can share their experiences. I was wanting to wait until after Christmas, but I know that is ridiculous and meeting with one my surgeons tomorrow and will hopefully have it on the schedule within the next 3-4 weeks.

    I think I'm past the constant crying phase. It didn't get me anywhere but with a migraine. My appetite is still gone but I have about 50 lbs to lose anyway so by the time I have my tummy tuck to reconstruct my breast (maybe both), I may have the figure of a teenager again (at least in my dreams)

    I will continue to pray for you all. I know that I am not in this fight alone. If there is anything that I feel I can do and have been doing since my diagnosis is I have hounded all of my friends to schedule their mammograms. We have all been very lax in doing so. I had my first one at 40 but didn't do another one until June (3 years later). I will never know if I had done them last year and the year before if my surgery would be less invasive or not. I know I have to let that go because I have to deal with the hear and now and it doesn't change anything. Luckily, it is almost breast cancer awareness month.

    Have a blessed night!
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    LauraLL said:

    Thanks to everyone
    Thanks to everyone for their kind words of support and understanding. I never knew that something so devastating could make me bond with complete strangers.... but you are not strangers at all.

    There is a peacefulness about having those who can share their experiences. I was wanting to wait until after Christmas, but I know that is ridiculous and meeting with one my surgeons tomorrow and will hopefully have it on the schedule within the next 3-4 weeks.

    I think I'm past the constant crying phase. It didn't get me anywhere but with a migraine. My appetite is still gone but I have about 50 lbs to lose anyway so by the time I have my tummy tuck to reconstruct my breast (maybe both), I may have the figure of a teenager again (at least in my dreams)

    I will continue to pray for you all. I know that I am not in this fight alone. If there is anything that I feel I can do and have been doing since my diagnosis is I have hounded all of my friends to schedule their mammograms. We have all been very lax in doing so. I had my first one at 40 but didn't do another one until June (3 years later). I will never know if I had done them last year and the year before if my surgery would be less invasive or not. I know I have to let that go because I have to deal with the hear and now and it doesn't change anything. Luckily, it is almost breast cancer awareness month.

    Have a blessed night!

    You're right that you've
    You're right that you've gotta let it go regarding the three years between mammograms, that will do nothing but put condemnation and guilt upon you, both you which you do not need right now.

    Crying is good sometimes. It comes in cycles for me, I'm trying to not my mind run ahead on all of the what ifs. All we have is today.

    Hugs and peace,
    D.H.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    LauraLL said:

    Thanks to everyone
    Thanks to everyone for their kind words of support and understanding. I never knew that something so devastating could make me bond with complete strangers.... but you are not strangers at all.

    There is a peacefulness about having those who can share their experiences. I was wanting to wait until after Christmas, but I know that is ridiculous and meeting with one my surgeons tomorrow and will hopefully have it on the schedule within the next 3-4 weeks.

    I think I'm past the constant crying phase. It didn't get me anywhere but with a migraine. My appetite is still gone but I have about 50 lbs to lose anyway so by the time I have my tummy tuck to reconstruct my breast (maybe both), I may have the figure of a teenager again (at least in my dreams)

    I will continue to pray for you all. I know that I am not in this fight alone. If there is anything that I feel I can do and have been doing since my diagnosis is I have hounded all of my friends to schedule their mammograms. We have all been very lax in doing so. I had my first one at 40 but didn't do another one until June (3 years later). I will never know if I had done them last year and the year before if my surgery would be less invasive or not. I know I have to let that go because I have to deal with the hear and now and it doesn't change anything. Luckily, it is almost breast cancer awareness month.

    Have a blessed night!

    No regrets...it's pointless....
    I had the lump in my breast for over 10 years. Mammograms every year. Since it didn't change, well, everyone thought it was calcium. When I got diagnosed with the rectal, they did a PET scan to find where the cancer had progressed to. This lump in my breast 'lit up'.

    I could have been angry at my doctors for all those years, but it was fairly pointless, and took my energy. I later did have a calm discussion with one of them...

    Look forward, not back, I feel. Many women don't have mammograms at all.

    Hugs, Kathi
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Welcome LauraLL
    You've come to the right place for support and experience with this beast. I think you've been given some great information from everyone so far. I would only suggest that you meet with your doctor to determine the "right" timeframe for your particular treatment. I think it's different with everyone. Good luck and we're all here to get through this together!
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    Hi Laura and welcome!
    Hi Laura and welcome! Wishing you good luck!

    Hugs
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    Hi
    Laura, you have already done one very good thing, you are here. There are so many bc survivors here that can offer you so much support, advice and encouragement. I wanted my treatment to go as quickly as possible. I don't like waiting, and, it did. Good luck!

    ♥ Noel
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    Noel said:

    Hi
    Laura, you have already done one very good thing, you are here. There are so many bc survivors here that can offer you so much support, advice and encouragement. I wanted my treatment to go as quickly as possible. I don't like waiting, and, it did. Good luck!

    ♥ Noel

    Hi Laura. I am new too! I
    Hi Laura. I am new too! I think we have found a really good site to help us thru our bc treatment.

    Angie
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Welcome, LauraLL
    So much good info and advice has already been posted here...

    Just want to welcome you to our amazingly supportive and caring group.