Sep 02, 2009 - 4:01 pm
Hi. I was diagnosed back in October of '07 with stage 4 ovarian cancer, already metastisized to my liver. At the time of diagnosis, my CA125 was nearly 23,000 (that's not a typo). They gave me six months to live. The good news is, I'm still here (hoo-ray). The bad news is, we may be running out of treatment options.
Since that fateful October, I've done taxol/carboplatin, surgery, gemzar/cisplatin/avastin, doxil/cytoxin/avastin, topotecan/abraxane/avastin, and am now back on just carboplatin. The darn cancer just keeps mutating and getting resistent to everything we throw at it. Now the doctors are saying that it's no longer a matter of curing me (not gonna happen, so they say) and the new goal is just keeping me alive for as long as we can with chemo while maintaining a reasonable quality of life.
Well, the quality of life thing is probably already past. I have very bad ascites to the point where my belly is so swollen that it's actually pushed my belly button inside out. I have constant pain, pressure, aches, back pain, shortness of breath, etc. Moving around is very difficult. I don't sleep well because the pain often wakes me up. A pre-paracentesis sonagram (ultrasound?) showed that the way the fluid is distributed renders the procedure useless.
I don't want to give up, but I could sure use a break, if you know what I mean. No pain, no cancer, no family issues, just relax and catch my breath.
There's no real purpose to this post other than to whine a bit and to ask if anyone has advice on how to keep positive when you constantly feel awful. And to ask if you have a good thought to spare, that you might consider sending it my way.
Best wishes to all my fellow cancer warriors.