reaching out need help

lolad
lolad Member Posts: 670
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ok girls, im finally reaching out. I need help ive been so down, cant get back up. Just feeling numb, dont care dont want to feel. Im so lost, please help.

laura
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Comments

  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    Where are you at?
    I am new to this board, but I would like to help if i can. What stage in the game of life are you at? dianosed? treatments?
    i am very early in all this and have not gone through a lot of it, but i can say that these girls seem to be a wealth of advice and good wishes. Let me know if i can help you in any way.
    Nicole
  • Calleen
    Calleen Member Posts: 411
    Laura
    Why are you feeling so numb tonight??? what's going on??? put the words out there so we can talk about it!!!

    We are here talk...Let us help...
  • dmc_emmy
    dmc_emmy Member Posts: 549
    Laura, thanks for letting us know...
    We all have experienced some degree of depression. This bc trip is not an easy one, even for those who seem to be so very strong. In fact, this may be the hardest thing you will ever have to face in your entire life.

    I'm not one to talk to about seeking drug therapy, since I don't respond well to meds, but I'm sure that someone will log-on soon who has had success with meds and can offer you some guidance. Your "down" spell could be a reaction to any meds that you are currently taking (depression is a side-effect of cancer meds)or it could be that you are simply tired of fighting all of this...either way, neither of these are uncommon.

    No doubt, you will get many posts in regards to how you feel. Why? We've been, too.

    Glad you posted, so you can get the support you need from us-it's a good starting point.
    dmc
  • Tux
    Tux Member Posts: 544
    Laura, sorry to hear that
    Laura, sorry to hear that you are so down tonight. I hope you can get a good night's sleep & feel better tomorrow.

    Hugs & prayers sent your way!
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    I used to come here every
    I used to come here every day and read and give advice and ask questions. I loved it, still do, just want to run from all this. I am breaking down and i just dont know. My kids need me, they dont deserve me like this. How did i get here? Why is it hitting me so hard now? Is this normal am i normal or am i loosing it?

    laura
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Laura
    I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you can come out of your funk soon!
    Love,
    patty

    Thank you for the replies, i
    Thank you for the replies, i truely appreciate it. Guess i just wish i was in one of the cliques here or a not so new member. I guess im not well known enough yet. I need support from you girls. Maybe im just feeling self pitty. Sorry, going to go lie in my bed alone and stare at the ceiling. Maybe i am just going crazy and losing my mind. Good night

    laura
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    You are of great value!!!
    Laura what you are feeling is so darned normal and expected along our cancer journey. It hits ya when you least expect it. This illness is both physical and mental so don't count yourself short you are of great value and yes you are worth the effort to get well. Please do your best to not allow it to pull you down, I know easier said then done. Open those curtains and let some day light in. Get outside even if it is just to sit in a chair in the sunshine. If you are up to it go to a comedy with your kids or rent one for home. Cancer takes so much from us it does not deserve to take our happiness or joy. I am thinking and praying for you. Many, many Hugs.

    RE
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    RE said:

    You are of great value!!!
    Laura what you are feeling is so darned normal and expected along our cancer journey. It hits ya when you least expect it. This illness is both physical and mental so don't count yourself short you are of great value and yes you are worth the effort to get well. Please do your best to not allow it to pull you down, I know easier said then done. Open those curtains and let some day light in. Get outside even if it is just to sit in a chair in the sunshine. If you are up to it go to a comedy with your kids or rent one for home. Cancer takes so much from us it does not deserve to take our happiness or joy. I am thinking and praying for you. Many, many Hugs.

    RE

    thank you RE
    Its why i came back here. I made myself. I would have hated to see my state of mind by morning!! haha. I guess this whole thing is just fudged up and it still controlled me today, i let it like a fool. Thank you for all the hugs too.

    laura
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    lolad said:

    thank you RE
    Its why i came back here. I made myself. I would have hated to see my state of mind by morning!! haha. I guess this whole thing is just fudged up and it still controlled me today, i let it like a fool. Thank you for all the hugs too.

    laura

    Not at all
    You are most certainly not a fool, I have been dealing with my cancer for 11 years and I am currently 2 years out since the last time. I have had a rough week myself but you know cancer does not deserve more of me than it has already gotten. No need to feel foolish you are as normal as the rest of us!!! Hope you feel better soon.

    RE
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    RE said:

    Not at all
    You are most certainly not a fool, I have been dealing with my cancer for 11 years and I am currently 2 years out since the last time. I have had a rough week myself but you know cancer does not deserve more of me than it has already gotten. No need to feel foolish you are as normal as the rest of us!!! Hope you feel better soon.

    RE

    Im actually sitting here
    Im actually sitting here falling asleep trying to type which is good because im going on one hour of sleep in two days. I am signing off for now. Thank you for the wonderful ones who talked with me. I sososo appreciate it. Take care and big hugs back
    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    RE said:

    Not at all
    You are most certainly not a fool, I have been dealing with my cancer for 11 years and I am currently 2 years out since the last time. I have had a rough week myself but you know cancer does not deserve more of me than it has already gotten. No need to feel foolish you are as normal as the rest of us!!! Hope you feel better soon.

    RE

    Im actually sitting here
    Im actually sitting here falling asleep trying to type which is good because im going on one hour of sleep in two days. I am signing off for now. Thank you for the wonderful ones who talked with me. I sososo appreciate it. Take care and big hugs back
    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Where are you at?
    I am new to this board, but I would like to help if i can. What stage in the game of life are you at? dianosed? treatments?
    i am very early in all this and have not gone through a lot of it, but i can say that these girls seem to be a wealth of advice and good wishes. Let me know if i can help you in any way.
    Nicole

    nicole
    i was diagnosed in april had a double mastectomy with reconstruction in june started chemo already and its all just hit me. Im not saying ive not faced it, ive tried to be strong through all of it especially in front of my kids, they need reassurance that im going to be good and just fine. I just realized for some odd reason these last few days weeks its all reality. Does that make sense? Maybe i just cant explain it. I dont know. I just know i hate it. I let it win for a while. It controlled me and i let it. Ill be bouncing back. If it werent for me begging with these girls tonight and my post and getting out how i was feeling, i most definately would have been a zombie by morning. And right now im off to bed going on one hour of sleep in two days. Take care

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670

    Where are you at?
    I am new to this board, but I would like to help if i can. What stage in the game of life are you at? dianosed? treatments?
    i am very early in all this and have not gone through a lot of it, but i can say that these girls seem to be a wealth of advice and good wishes. Let me know if i can help you in any way.
    Nicole

    nicole
    i was diagnosed in april had a double mastectomy with reconstruction in june started chemo already and its all just hit me. Im not saying ive not faced it, ive tried to be strong through all of it especially in front of my kids, they need reassurance that im going to be good and just fine. I just realized for some odd reason these last few days weeks its all reality. Does that make sense? Maybe i just cant explain it. I dont know. I just know i hate it. I let it win for a while. It controlled me and i let it. Ill be bouncing back. If it werent for me begging with these girls tonight and my post and getting out how i was feeling, i most definately would have been a zombie by morning. And right now im off to bed going on one hour of sleep in two days. Take care

    laura