A little lost...

Nicole Holm
Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi all
My name is nicole and the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I can fast forward to two weeks ago I was diagnosed with invasive carcinoma in two masses in my Left breast, yesturday i met with the surgeons who will be doing a masectomy on Aug 26th with immediate reconstruction TRAM style then on to chemo and radiation if we find its spread to the nodes...
So i have 3 little boys, a hubby who is active duty and may be deployed in Oct to Iraq for a year. i am in GA, but my home is Alaska so have no family close although many of them are making the trek down to help take care of me postop and when chemo starts..

That being said, I work part time and am supposed to go back to my 4th semester of RN school next week, takling to school friday about that. Anywho, where does one start? I need a way to have my childcare expenses covered since i won't be working, does your insurance cover wigs and scarves?? How bad is chemo? Anyone else out there had a TRAM done that can share with me??

I am 30yrs old and BLAMO what a shock all this is. They still haven't staged my, but the tumors are 1.5 and 1cm i beleive.

Well that's it for now, I just feel a little lost and disconnected from this whole mess.
sorry for all the typos, my fingers aren't working with me tonight.

Nicole
«1

Comments

  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    First i just want to say hi
    First i just want to say hi and welcome. You came to a good spot for support thats for sure. Im sorry you are going thru all this though. I am two months out from a double mastectomy and had tissue expanders placed in at time of surgery. They are in the process of filling them now, each week or so i go and get saline and when im ready at the size i want then i will have another surgery. I started chemo last week and will have one every three weeks. It honestly wasnt as bad as i thought because they gave me nausea meds and steroids before chemo and also to take home with me, so its been ok. Im dreading on the hair thing though, but did go and buy a wig the other day. The biggest side effect im having from chemo right now is like this yucky thrush mouth. I am not working right now, but have three kids on my own as well. I hope your family makes it in soon for you. If you contact acs they will cover wigs and scarves for you i believe and since you have a disability right now apply for daycare vouchers for your childrens daycare. Try to hang in there. Take care

    laura
  • Calleen
    Calleen Member Posts: 411
    Welcome Nicole
    You've come to the right place... I had tram flap surgery 2 weeks ago today... I'm feeling fabulous...I was DX May8th with IDC in my right breast the tumor was less than 2cm i think it's around the 1.5cm. Stage 1... still waiting the OFFICAL word. I had all kinds of tests done before hand so I could make the best choice. I had 2 lymph nodes removed before my surgery which were clear... i am not going to have to have radiation and still unsure of chemo.. maybe not since I had the bi-lateral masectomy... still crossing my fingers...

    I chose to do a bilateral with immediate reconstruction doing the tram. I didn't want to worry anymore about it coming back in my other breast plus since it's a one shot deal using the tummy tuck if it did come back then i would probaly have to do an implant.. that said.... about the surgery... The worst part for me was the drains.. I had 6 altogether and came home with 5.. I had the last one taken out yesterday. Those are honestly a royal pain.. I did not have any pain and refused the morphine pump the same night of my surgery. I did have pain medication one other time in the hospital and it was non narcotic.. other than that I've felt sore but good... my new boobs are looking better everyday and my tummy is very flat..

    Some tips for at home.. A recliner!!! you have to sleep on your back for about 2 weeks and when I came home i tried to elevate myself in my bed.. then I ended up going to my Daughters house and sleeping in thier recliner and it made all the difference... One special thing I did for myself is I bought a journal book and while I was in surgery my friends and Family wrote me very special messages... I will treasure that FOREVER!!! Has your plastic surgeon talked to you about a garmet?? They had me purchase a compression garmet to wear 24/7 unless showering or wahing it..for 4 weeks then at night for 2 weeks.. It's helping to compress my tummy correctly... You are going to be weak and need help with showering and meals as your strength returns... Take it really easy and let your caretakes take care of you!!!It's definatley not a walk in the park but like I said I'm 2 weeks out and I'm doing great!!! I have been cleared to drive already and went shopping today and bought me a new bra.. my boobs are a bit bigger...


    ♥HUGZ Calleen♥
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Welcome to our board
    Sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. There are many chemo's and they all vary depending on type and how much you will need. It is doable and you will make it through this adn we will be here to help you. Contact your local American Cancer Society, many times they have wigs on hand they will either give to you or lend to you. I was given a $75.oo gift cert. to spend at the website to use towards hats, wig or scarfs. If you would like to check out that web page it is at http://www.tlcdirect.org/Default.aspx?&source=search just copy and paste it to get there. There is also a site called HEAVENLYHATS.COM where you can fill out a short request form and they will send you new hats at no cost to you. Keep us posted on your progress, will be thinking of you!

    Hugs,

    RE
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    welcome Nicole
    sounds like you are already on the fast ride to chemo land. I did not have the tram flap, my partial mastectomy was in March of 2007 and I am going in tomorrow for a free flap for reconstruction.
    Chemo is no picnic, but since we all react differently, and there are so many different types of chemo, it is kind of hard to say how you will react. What I can say is no matter how tough it gets, we all get through it, and are stronger then we imagine ourselves to be. Hope it all goes well for you, post often and let us know how you are doing.

    Cat
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    cats_toy said:

    welcome Nicole
    sounds like you are already on the fast ride to chemo land. I did not have the tram flap, my partial mastectomy was in March of 2007 and I am going in tomorrow for a free flap for reconstruction.
    Chemo is no picnic, but since we all react differently, and there are so many different types of chemo, it is kind of hard to say how you will react. What I can say is no matter how tough it gets, we all get through it, and are stronger then we imagine ourselves to be. Hope it all goes well for you, post often and let us know how you are doing.

    Cat

    Hello and welcome Nicole.
    Hello and welcome Nicole. You are so young and have so much going on. I am so sorry about your bc diagnosis and I know it is like you are caught in a whirlwind. But, your team of doctors will help you to decide your treatment and get you on the journey to being cancer free. Please post and keep us updated on you.

    Hugs, Leeza
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    RE said:

    Welcome to our board
    Sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. There are many chemo's and they all vary depending on type and how much you will need. It is doable and you will make it through this adn we will be here to help you. Contact your local American Cancer Society, many times they have wigs on hand they will either give to you or lend to you. I was given a $75.oo gift cert. to spend at the website to use towards hats, wig or scarfs. If you would like to check out that web page it is at http://www.tlcdirect.org/Default.aspx?&source=search just copy and paste it to get there. There is also a site called HEAVENLYHATS.COM where you can fill out a short request form and they will send you new hats at no cost to you. Keep us posted on your progress, will be thinking of you!

    Hugs,

    RE

    Welcome Nicole. So sorry
    Welcome Nicole. So sorry for your bc diagnosis. We are here to support and encourage you. Please post often and update us on how you are doing. You look so pretty in your pic!

    Hugs!
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    lolad said:

    First i just want to say hi
    First i just want to say hi and welcome. You came to a good spot for support thats for sure. Im sorry you are going thru all this though. I am two months out from a double mastectomy and had tissue expanders placed in at time of surgery. They are in the process of filling them now, each week or so i go and get saline and when im ready at the size i want then i will have another surgery. I started chemo last week and will have one every three weeks. It honestly wasnt as bad as i thought because they gave me nausea meds and steroids before chemo and also to take home with me, so its been ok. Im dreading on the hair thing though, but did go and buy a wig the other day. The biggest side effect im having from chemo right now is like this yucky thrush mouth. I am not working right now, but have three kids on my own as well. I hope your family makes it in soon for you. If you contact acs they will cover wigs and scarves for you i believe and since you have a disability right now apply for daycare vouchers for your childrens daycare. Try to hang in there. Take care

    laura

    Hi and welcome Nicole.
    Hi and welcome Nicole. Contact the ACS about wigs and heavenlyhats.com also. There are also a few posts on here about free hats and other head covers. Hang in there!


    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    jnl said:

    Hello and welcome Nicole.
    Hello and welcome Nicole. You are so young and have so much going on. I am so sorry about your bc diagnosis and I know it is like you are caught in a whirlwind. But, your team of doctors will help you to decide your treatment and get you on the journey to being cancer free. Please post and keep us updated on you.

    Hugs, Leeza

    Welcome Nicole! You look
    Welcome Nicole! You look great in your pic! Sorry for what you are going thru. There is also a young survivors thread on this site. Some people use this one and that one, they both help a lot. Good luck to you!

    Hugs ♥Lex♥
  • lmmo
    lmmo Member Posts: 56
    welcome Nicole
    Wow, I am so sorry to hear and my heart goes out to you! I chose expander reconstruction and it did not work out...long post elsewhere. I will be having TRAM next year. I am so happy to read Calleen's post and hope you find it helpful. Keep reading and asking questions. My husband was on reserve duty when I found out...maybe hubby's orders can be changed?
    Thinking of you.
    Lisa
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Welcome Nicole
    I just wanted to add my welcome! So sorry for you diagnosis and your reason to be here, but glad you found us. I had a quadrantectomy (extended lumpectomy) and am currently having Radiation (half way done today!). I'm sure this is a shocker to you and everything seems sureal. Hang in there. Everyone here will help you through your journey. Write your questions down (start a notebook) and when you see your oncologist, get them answered. In the mean time, we will answer with our experience. Good luck to you and visit often and for any reason. Pammy
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    Akiss4me said:

    Welcome Nicole
    I just wanted to add my welcome! So sorry for you diagnosis and your reason to be here, but glad you found us. I had a quadrantectomy (extended lumpectomy) and am currently having Radiation (half way done today!). I'm sure this is a shocker to you and everything seems sureal. Hang in there. Everyone here will help you through your journey. Write your questions down (start a notebook) and when you see your oncologist, get them answered. In the mean time, we will answer with our experience. Good luck to you and visit often and for any reason. Pammy

    Nicole,
    I wish I lived closer so I could help take some of the worry and pressure off of you. I can't imagine going through this with 3 young children and facing the possibility of my husband being away for a year. I do hope there's some way "they" can keep him at home. In the meantime ... please take care of yourself. I know you've got your hands full with the children ... but don't forget to ask for and accept help from others. People who want to help with the kids ... help run errands ... fix meals etc.

    Take care ... and keep us posted.

    hugs.
    teena
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    tgf said:

    Nicole,
    I wish I lived closer so I could help take some of the worry and pressure off of you. I can't imagine going through this with 3 young children and facing the possibility of my husband being away for a year. I do hope there's some way "they" can keep him at home. In the meantime ... please take care of yourself. I know you've got your hands full with the children ... but don't forget to ask for and accept help from others. People who want to help with the kids ... help run errands ... fix meals etc.

    Take care ... and keep us posted.

    hugs.
    teena

    Nicole
    You have a very lovely picture. And you sound very strong for all you are going through, I have 3 children but they are grown..I can't imagine having young ones and a husband going away, along with this. Like Teena says ask and accept all of the help that is offered by others. It does sound like you caught this pretty early, that is a good thing. And we are here whenever you need to talk.

    I do know what a whirlwind it is, so much to think about. I think I went through this part in a daze, it all seemed so sureal. I will be praying that everything turns out for the very best possible.

    God Bless,
    Jackie
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    I second what Immo/Lisa
    I second what Immo/Lisa said, maybe they can give your husband a hardship change of duty. My husband was in the service and when his mother was sick he received a hardship reassignment. We contacted our congressman. This was many years ago.
  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    Calleen said:

    Welcome Nicole
    You've come to the right place... I had tram flap surgery 2 weeks ago today... I'm feeling fabulous...I was DX May8th with IDC in my right breast the tumor was less than 2cm i think it's around the 1.5cm. Stage 1... still waiting the OFFICAL word. I had all kinds of tests done before hand so I could make the best choice. I had 2 lymph nodes removed before my surgery which were clear... i am not going to have to have radiation and still unsure of chemo.. maybe not since I had the bi-lateral masectomy... still crossing my fingers...

    I chose to do a bilateral with immediate reconstruction doing the tram. I didn't want to worry anymore about it coming back in my other breast plus since it's a one shot deal using the tummy tuck if it did come back then i would probaly have to do an implant.. that said.... about the surgery... The worst part for me was the drains.. I had 6 altogether and came home with 5.. I had the last one taken out yesterday. Those are honestly a royal pain.. I did not have any pain and refused the morphine pump the same night of my surgery. I did have pain medication one other time in the hospital and it was non narcotic.. other than that I've felt sore but good... my new boobs are looking better everyday and my tummy is very flat..

    Some tips for at home.. A recliner!!! you have to sleep on your back for about 2 weeks and when I came home i tried to elevate myself in my bed.. then I ended up going to my Daughters house and sleeping in thier recliner and it made all the difference... One special thing I did for myself is I bought a journal book and while I was in surgery my friends and Family wrote me very special messages... I will treasure that FOREVER!!! Has your plastic surgeon talked to you about a garmet?? They had me purchase a compression garmet to wear 24/7 unless showering or wahing it..for 4 weeks then at night for 2 weeks.. It's helping to compress my tummy correctly... You are going to be weak and need help with showering and meals as your strength returns... Take it really easy and let your caretakes take care of you!!!It's definatley not a walk in the park but like I said I'm 2 weeks out and I'm doing great!!! I have been cleared to drive already and went shopping today and bought me a new bra.. my boobs are a bit bigger...


    ♥HUGZ Calleen♥

    Thanks for the welcome
    So, I just happen to have bought a couch and loveseat with electric recliners in them last year..so got the recliner part covered.
    I love the idea of a journal book, I write a lot anyway and the idea of having other people add to it is awesome. I never would have thought of that.
    No word on garments at this time. My sister had the tummy tuck and boobs done minus the whole cancer bit and I remember the stuff she wore for awhile post op. I also remember no lifting and all that fun stuff. She also had the drains and will be here about a week postop to help me out. My parents will be here during/after surgery then trade off to her and other family is coming in to support and help me out.
    The perks, literally, my cosmetic guy said he needs to give me a little bit of a lift on my right side to match my new boob better, says its easier if its perky..so guess I get a tummy tuck and perki boobs out of the deal.
    Did you have major weight loss?
    Still waiting to see if the tumors are estrogen receptors or not...but i thik they said they were 1.5 and 1 cm each.
    More questions to come I am sure.
    Thanks again,
    Nicole
  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    RE said:

    Welcome to our board
    Sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. There are many chemo's and they all vary depending on type and how much you will need. It is doable and you will make it through this adn we will be here to help you. Contact your local American Cancer Society, many times they have wigs on hand they will either give to you or lend to you. I was given a $75.oo gift cert. to spend at the website to use towards hats, wig or scarfs. If you would like to check out that web page it is at http://www.tlcdirect.org/Default.aspx?&source=search just copy and paste it to get there. There is also a site called HEAVENLYHATS.COM where you can fill out a short request form and they will send you new hats at no cost to you. Keep us posted on your progress, will be thinking of you!

    Hugs,

    RE

    I am loving the free
    I am loving the free websites..that's so cool. Let me ask this..I was told when I start chemo they want me to get rid of all my makeup since it may have bacteria....
    I am a Mary Kay consultant, do you have any idea how much makeup I have? Can I go back to the already opened makeup after chemo is all done?
  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    tgf said:

    Nicole,
    I wish I lived closer so I could help take some of the worry and pressure off of you. I can't imagine going through this with 3 young children and facing the possibility of my husband being away for a year. I do hope there's some way "they" can keep him at home. In the meantime ... please take care of yourself. I know you've got your hands full with the children ... but don't forget to ask for and accept help from others. People who want to help with the kids ... help run errands ... fix meals etc.

    Take care ... and keep us posted.

    hugs.
    teena

    Kids
    My kids are my biggest worry through all this. I just don't think they will understand, and I don't want to scare them. THey are my light, but they are all boys, and well you can imagine 3 boys ages 3, 5, and 8. They are not the most quiet children either and I want to be able to see them, yet figure out a way to not get jumped on in the process by an exhuberant 3yr old.
    I am not anticipating having the kids in teh hosp to visit or anything after surgery, do most people end up in the ICU first then to a unit?
  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    Marcia527 said:

    I second what Immo/Lisa
    I second what Immo/Lisa said, maybe they can give your husband a hardship change of duty. My husband was in the service and when his mother was sick he received a hardship reassignment. We contacted our congressman. This was many years ago.

    Army
    That would be nice. I would even go with a transfer to WA so we could be closer to family..but who knows. If I can just find a way to keep him here and not in Iraq for a year, I really don't need to be stressing about him getting shot at hwile I am going through chemo, Lord give a girl a break. ;)
  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    rjjj said:

    Nicole
    You have a very lovely picture. And you sound very strong for all you are going through, I have 3 children but they are grown..I can't imagine having young ones and a husband going away, along with this. Like Teena says ask and accept all of the help that is offered by others. It does sound like you caught this pretty early, that is a good thing. And we are here whenever you need to talk.

    I do know what a whirlwind it is, so much to think about. I think I went through this part in a daze, it all seemed so sureal. I will be praying that everything turns out for the very best possible.

    God Bless,
    Jackie

    Thank you all for your
    Thank you all for your comments on my pic. I will try and upload some other soon.
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member

    I am loving the free
    I am loving the free websites..that's so cool. Let me ask this..I was told when I start chemo they want me to get rid of all my makeup since it may have bacteria....
    I am a Mary Kay consultant, do you have any idea how much makeup I have? Can I go back to the already opened makeup after chemo is all done?

    Nicole
    I love Mary Kay. I must not have heard that, I never changed makeup and never had problems, but maybe I was just lucky.???
    hugs, jackie
  • Nicole Holm
    Nicole Holm Member Posts: 18
    rjjj said:

    Nicole
    I love Mary Kay. I must not have heard that, I never changed makeup and never had problems, but maybe I was just lucky.???
    hugs, jackie

    Hmm, well that's what I was
    Hmm, well that's what I was told, who knows, maybe it will change.
    Let me know if you ever need some Mary Kay stuff. My unit is in a challenge right now, each consulant to hold 5 parties this and next month and are all donating 10% of party totals to Susan B Kormen Foundation.