Aug 11, 2009 - 12:09 pm
I read the thread on "What not to say to a cancer patient" ... and in understand totally ... in face I've had several of them said to me. But ...I've been thinking (as much as possible with chemo brain) ... and I wondered ... what DO you say to a cancer patient? I know the way we all talk to each other ... and we are family and we are all walking in each others shoes ... but just suppose we saw someone we hadn't seen in awhile and they were diagnosed with cancer. What DO we say? It is so hard to come up with the right words to let that person know you care. I know I would want to go up to them and tell them I know how they feel ... because that's what we here tell each other a lot ... and it helps a lot ... but someone not part of this understanding "family" may think "HELL ... there's NO WAY you know how I feel" "There's NO WAY you could understand what I'm going through."
I must admit that some of those things NOT to say to a cancer patient have actually helped me. Not the stupid things about weight loss etc. ... but when someone has told me about a friend who has gone through what I'm going through and maybe I'd like to talk to her ... yes ... that helped. And it also helped a bit when people would tell me about someone diagnosed and treated 20-30 years ago and still going strong. That helped. I needed to know I wasn't alone and that there is life after cancer. I needed ... and still need to hear that ... and I do hear that from you my dear friends/family. You will never know how much or how often I have "leaned on" all of you and your words of support and love.