Very confused and I desperately need to make a choice...

Marlene_K
Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I joined this site on July 11th and somehow couldn't find my way back here. I thought I put it into my favorites but it wasn't there. Anyway... thanks Jackie for your reply to my post back then.

I was diagnosed with cancer on June 1st and have had several opinions since then. I originally had all my tests done through a local surgeon in my town. I live in Toms River, NJ. Yesterday, I had an appt with an oncology team at the Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philly. Until now, this has not been brought up but the surgeon at Fox Chase told me that immediate reconstruction is not an option for me. I have very mixed emotions and I guess all in all just HATE that I have to be faced with any of this! I know Fox Chase is an excellent hospital but it is an hour and a half away from home. I am worried about traveling so much for treatments and being so far from the facility should I need immediate care. I am tempted to go with my local surgeon who is suggesting I have the immediate reconstruction... this being one of my reasons and the other being that everything would be close by.

It's been 2 months since I was diagnosed and I need to do something NOW. I have such a headache because my mind won't stop working.

Any suggestions or words of wisdom anyone can provide would be ever sooooo appreciated.

Thank you!

Marlene
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Comments

  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Advice from a doctor you trust
    Marlene, So sorry you are here and so glad you rediscovered us. When I was fretting over treatment decisions, I called a doctor I trusted (she had had breast cancer 20 years ago!) and her advice was good. I didn't have the option of nearby treatment; the closest facility is 1 1/2 hours away. She said if there was anything tricky about my cancer, she would recommend me going to a major cancer center (Boston, Seattle, Chicago... where I have family and friends), but since my cancer appeared to be (3a) "run-of-the-mill" - if there is such a thing! , staying in-state was fine.

    That said, I'm guessing that the specialists know what they are talking about. I was not a candidate for immediate reconstruction because I had nodal involvement (that wasn't discovered until my sentinel cell biopsy that preceded my bilateral mastectomies) and my cancer required chemo and radiation. It's about 9 months since I completed radiation and I am still on the fence regarding reconstruction.

    Is there a way that your surgery could be at Fox Chase, but your chemo be close by, should you choose that path? I had my surgery in Boise (2+ hours away), my chemo in a satellite clinic (1 1/2 hours away) and my rads back in Boise (a long story). While I had rads, the hospital gave me a "scholarship" that paid for my housing and I stayed in Boise doing the week. I never felt far from care as my primary physician was in the loop and the triage nurses were only a phone call away.

    Hope this helps. : ) xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Marlene
    you said you met with an oncology team. The thought that came to my mind-at least what I heard from my oncs-is that they wanted their patients to wait on reconstruction usually because they want you to be healthy before you start chemo(which they wanted me to have right after healing from surgery)and immediate reconstruction puts it off...if that makes sense.
    It would be nice if you could find a place closer to home-my treatment center is 30 minutes at the most,and that's where I had my surgery done at also.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    Hi Marlene. I wish I could
    Hi Marlene. I wish I could help you with your decision, but, it is just that, your decision. We all have to make the choice as to what is best for us.

    I drove almost 2 hrs for all of my treatments, doctor appointments, rads, literally everything. It didn't bother me because I knew I was getting the best treatment possible. I had lots, besides my husband, that helped with the driving. And, if for some reason, there would be an emergency, call 911, an ambulance or chopper or whatever can get you to the hospital very quickly.

    Just do what is best for you. Get another opinion if needed.

    Good luck!
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Yes, confusing, for sure - and conflicted...
    We all must make our own very personal decisions along the journey. Difficult, but necessary.

    Cancer is a dreadful and extremely dangerous disease. I have so often posted on this board that seeking out and receiving the very BEST medical care possible is of the utmost importance. Words of wisdom? Although only you can decide for yourself - I would not, and certainly didn't, choose "convenience" over the best care possible. (Like other members here.) And, I must admit, I'm conflicted by your post. The cancer center - experts and specialists - have determined you're not a candidate for immediate reconstruction. Do you know why? Did they fully explain their rationale? Yet, your "local" surgeon is "suggesting" it? What are your "local" surgeon's credentials? A general surgeon?

    You have much information to consider, obviously. Good luck with your decision.
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Marlene
    I am so glad you found us again. I was also told that I would have to wait a year or to before reconstruction. I had lymphnode involvement also, and the DR. said he wanted me to heal (as Lynn said) from chemo and radiation. I traveled 45 min each way for all chemo and other apt.'s and 4 hours for radiation. I stayed during the week and went home on the weekend. It wasn't fun being away from home, but I really didn't have another choice.

    All this waiting is probably giving you a headache. the uncertainty is the hardest part. I hope you keep us posted, you will find such wonderful support here..from the most amazing women.
    hugs, Jackie
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    First, I had to travel
    First, I had to travel almost 2 hours for all of my appointments too. That was everyday for rads for 35 treatments, but, never minded it as I was going to the best breast cancer center around. I would never have gone somewhere just for convenience for my bc treatment. This is serious stuff. And, why did the team at Fox say you can't have immediate reconstruction? It is odd that they say no and your local doctor says yes. I would be questioning both a lot. And, I would probably get a 3rd opinion. Once again, this is serious stuff.

    Good luck to you!
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769

    First, I had to travel
    First, I had to travel almost 2 hours for all of my appointments too. That was everyday for rads for 35 treatments, but, never minded it as I was going to the best breast cancer center around. I would never have gone somewhere just for convenience for my bc treatment. This is serious stuff. And, why did the team at Fox say you can't have immediate reconstruction? It is odd that they say no and your local doctor says yes. I would be questioning both a lot. And, I would probably get a 3rd opinion. Once again, this is serious stuff.

    Good luck to you!

    Marlene
    Welcome Marlene,
    I traveled over 4 hrs for my double mastectomy with tissue expanders put in place at that time.
    I travel 45 minutes each time I have chemo/treatments.
    I have traveled 1 15 min for saline injections into the tissue expanders.

    Traveling is hard but if you have confidence in the medical staff that you have then it is well worth the mileage.

    I don't know why the Fox team doesn't want to do reconstruction at the time of surgery unless that is the way they practice. Every professional is different.

    It is a decision that only you can make and you will have to rely on your inner being and heart on the choice that is only right for you.

    Hugs to you,
    Margo
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508

    Marlene
    Welcome Marlene,
    I traveled over 4 hrs for my double mastectomy with tissue expanders put in place at that time.
    I travel 45 minutes each time I have chemo/treatments.
    I have traveled 1 15 min for saline injections into the tissue expanders.

    Traveling is hard but if you have confidence in the medical staff that you have then it is well worth the mileage.

    I don't know why the Fox team doesn't want to do reconstruction at the time of surgery unless that is the way they practice. Every professional is different.

    It is a decision that only you can make and you will have to rely on your inner being and heart on the choice that is only right for you.

    Hugs to you,
    Margo

    Thank you ALL!
    I was surprised to see all the comments and I thank you very much! The doctor at Fox Chase feels that an immediate reconstruction would complicate my surgery and the healing would take longer. He does do them but does not feel it would be right for me. Unfortunately, I am a smoker and although I'm quitting, I guess it takes longer for a smoker's body to heal.
    The local surgeon that has said I could reconstruct immediately is just a 'general' surgeon. We do have a cancer center local but the surgeon I would be dealing with is not an oncologist surgeon. With that said, my decision should be an easy one.

    You have all helped me a lot... thanks so much!

    With love,

    Marlene
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    Marlene_K said:

    Thank you ALL!
    I was surprised to see all the comments and I thank you very much! The doctor at Fox Chase feels that an immediate reconstruction would complicate my surgery and the healing would take longer. He does do them but does not feel it would be right for me. Unfortunately, I am a smoker and although I'm quitting, I guess it takes longer for a smoker's body to heal.
    The local surgeon that has said I could reconstruct immediately is just a 'general' surgeon. We do have a cancer center local but the surgeon I would be dealing with is not an oncologist surgeon. With that said, my decision should be an easy one.

    You have all helped me a lot... thanks so much!

    With love,

    Marlene

    I think I would go with the
    I think I would go with the Fox Chase specialtist. I would want the best if it were me. And, smoking will make your healing a lot slower and harder. Most breast cancer plastic surgeons won't do reconstruction on you unless you are at least 2 months done smoking. Maybe that is why they won't do the reconstruction at the same time as the removal of the tumor. And, I would drive how ever many hours it took to get the best treatment possible. I traveled 1 hr and 45 minutes one way for everything. No biggee, was worth it!

    Good luck!
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    We are practically neighbors.
    Hi Marlene: Sorry we have to welcome you to this site because it means you too are fighting the beast but I'm glad you found us. You will find the women and men here on the board to be a great source of inspiration and support. I live in Woodbridge, NJ which is about 35 miles north of you. My surgeon suggested I wait until I was done with all my treatments before having reconstruction because they weren't sure if I was going to need radiation. He explained that some women develop burns that further damages the skin or makes it tough so that's why he suggested I wait. Luckily, I didn't need to go through radiation, but did do 8 rounds of chemo. I'm going to private message you with my phone number in the event you want to call me with further questions. Hugs, Lili
  • BunnyJane
    BunnyJane Member Posts: 213
    Marlene_K said:

    Thank you ALL!
    I was surprised to see all the comments and I thank you very much! The doctor at Fox Chase feels that an immediate reconstruction would complicate my surgery and the healing would take longer. He does do them but does not feel it would be right for me. Unfortunately, I am a smoker and although I'm quitting, I guess it takes longer for a smoker's body to heal.
    The local surgeon that has said I could reconstruct immediately is just a 'general' surgeon. We do have a cancer center local but the surgeon I would be dealing with is not an oncologist surgeon. With that said, my decision should be an easy one.

    You have all helped me a lot... thanks so much!

    With love,

    Marlene

    Hi Marlene:
    I was treated at Fox Chase -- the MDs and nurses are some of the best you'll find anywhere!

    Since Philly is a drive for you, you can always do chemo and radiation, if needed, closer to home. Feel free to private message me if you wish to chat about my experience at Fox Chase.

    Best of luck with starting your treatment and your road to recovery! Jane
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    BunnyJane said:

    Hi Marlene:
    I was treated at Fox Chase -- the MDs and nurses are some of the best you'll find anywhere!

    Since Philly is a drive for you, you can always do chemo and radiation, if needed, closer to home. Feel free to private message me if you wish to chat about my experience at Fox Chase.

    Best of luck with starting your treatment and your road to recovery! Jane

    This helped A LOT!
    Thank you, Jane! Finding out that you went to Fox Chase is a wonderful thing and I believe the final push I needed. I am a person that always looks for signs and I truly believe you were pointed in my direction. I do not know how to private message... I'm guessing I need to add you as a friend? I will try that as I would LOVE to hear more about you.

    Thank you!

    Marlene
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508

    We are practically neighbors.
    Hi Marlene: Sorry we have to welcome you to this site because it means you too are fighting the beast but I'm glad you found us. You will find the women and men here on the board to be a great source of inspiration and support. I live in Woodbridge, NJ which is about 35 miles north of you. My surgeon suggested I wait until I was done with all my treatments before having reconstruction because they weren't sure if I was going to need radiation. He explained that some women develop burns that further damages the skin or makes it tough so that's why he suggested I wait. Luckily, I didn't need to go through radiation, but did do 8 rounds of chemo. I'm going to private message you with my phone number in the event you want to call me with further questions. Hugs, Lili

    Neighor...
    Thanks Lili. I will look for your information. I'm still trying to get acquainted with this site. I'm looking very forward to making new friends on here and somehow know that I will get lots of positive inspiration!

    Thanks for writing! Marlene
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Marlene_K said:

    This helped A LOT!
    Thank you, Jane! Finding out that you went to Fox Chase is a wonderful thing and I believe the final push I needed. I am a person that always looks for signs and I truly believe you were pointed in my direction. I do not know how to private message... I'm guessing I need to add you as a friend? I will try that as I would LOVE to hear more about you.

    Thank you!

    Marlene

    Marlene
    if you go to CSN home,it will tell you how to pm under send an email. All you need is Jane's user name.
  • lanie940
    lanie940 Member Posts: 490
    Hi Marlene
    I had my lumpectomy in Allentown,Pa. I live about 20 mins away. I felt the oncology surgeon I had was one of the best. Actually, he had a fellowship from Fox Chase Cancer center. I will be able to get my Radiation therapy in Sellersville,Pa, which will be more convinient for me do to the fact I help my son out with the grandson. that is also about 20 mins away. I can get him off to school and then go for my radiation. Why would Fox Chase feel immediate reconstruction isn't an option? Do they feel it's too close to your chest wall? I'd certainly ask them why.
  • BunnyJane
    BunnyJane Member Posts: 213
    Marlene_K said:

    This helped A LOT!
    Thank you, Jane! Finding out that you went to Fox Chase is a wonderful thing and I believe the final push I needed. I am a person that always looks for signs and I truly believe you were pointed in my direction. I do not know how to private message... I'm guessing I need to add you as a friend? I will try that as I would LOVE to hear more about you.

    Thank you!

    Marlene

    I sent you a private
    I sent you a private message-- look for it in your inbox. Talk to you soon!

    Jane
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    Welcome
    First welcome to the site and im glad you found your way back. I myself had a double mastectomy and had tissue expanders put in at the same time. I had my first fill and go back every week or two for more. So, is that what you are talking about? Getting tissue expanders then reconstruction, or are they going to use stomach tissue or tissue from your back? I would go for either of those during you mastectomy if that is what you are having. You have to follow your gut and do what you feel is right. It would make me nervous to have to go with the treatment center so far away too. I think the one closer would be a better move. Im curious though why one said you can go ahead with reconstruction and the other said no. It must be just how they opperate. I think most do the immediate skin expanders or tram or stomach tissue when they have their first surgery. Just go with what you feel is best and that will make you feel better. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    laura
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    lolad said:

    Welcome
    First welcome to the site and im glad you found your way back. I myself had a double mastectomy and had tissue expanders put in at the same time. I had my first fill and go back every week or two for more. So, is that what you are talking about? Getting tissue expanders then reconstruction, or are they going to use stomach tissue or tissue from your back? I would go for either of those during you mastectomy if that is what you are having. You have to follow your gut and do what you feel is right. It would make me nervous to have to go with the treatment center so far away too. I think the one closer would be a better move. Im curious though why one said you can go ahead with reconstruction and the other said no. It must be just how they opperate. I think most do the immediate skin expanders or tram or stomach tissue when they have their first surgery. Just go with what you feel is best and that will make you feel better. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    laura

    Thank you, Laura. I believe
    Thank you, Laura. I believe I will be going with Fox Chase (the cancer center that is an hour and a half away). That surgeon has suggested I not have the immediate reconstruction for a reason and he is an EXCELLENT breast cancer surgeon. I have to put my total faith in him. The local surgeon, who is just a general surgeon has said I could have the immediate reconstruction but I believe this would be one of those 'mistakes' that could threaten my life. Although it will be difficult to have the mastectomy, lose my breast without immediate reconstruction, as well as lose my hair during chemo, I have to know and believe that he is recommending what is best for my recovery. It will be a very long and treacherous year ahead of me, but I can look forward to a breast reconstruction when I'm done with all my treatments. It was very difficult for me to hear this as it was something that once again I was NOT expecting, but I have to just keep taking these pitches and slamming them out of the ball park.

    Thanks for caring!
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    Marlene_K said:

    Thank you, Laura. I believe
    Thank you, Laura. I believe I will be going with Fox Chase (the cancer center that is an hour and a half away). That surgeon has suggested I not have the immediate reconstruction for a reason and he is an EXCELLENT breast cancer surgeon. I have to put my total faith in him. The local surgeon, who is just a general surgeon has said I could have the immediate reconstruction but I believe this would be one of those 'mistakes' that could threaten my life. Although it will be difficult to have the mastectomy, lose my breast without immediate reconstruction, as well as lose my hair during chemo, I have to know and believe that he is recommending what is best for my recovery. It will be a very long and treacherous year ahead of me, but I can look forward to a breast reconstruction when I'm done with all my treatments. It was very difficult for me to hear this as it was something that once again I was NOT expecting, but I have to just keep taking these pitches and slamming them out of the ball park.

    Thanks for caring!

    Hi Marlene and welcome, I
    Hi Marlene and welcome, I know how you feel. I had a treatment center near my home maybe 10 min away. That would have been nice, however I did go with the easy to get to treatment center. It's not that it was bad, I just researched and went with a big well known treatment center and I went for a visit and met my whole team of doctors, Had list of Questions in hand for every doctor I saw. I had a friend and Husband with me. Friend took notes, which did come in handy because by the time I left the interviews I had forgotton most of what was said. I was only Dx this April and had lumpectomy in June and I am on 3rd chemo treatment. I have a young friend, non smoker, that her reconstruction has to be done all over again, because of infections. I know she now says she wished she had waited until all treatment was done, she is 32 years old. Everyone is different and you really need to talk to all doctors who are going to be involved with you. I hated this part, having to decide. Good Luck, Hugs
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Marlene_K said:

    Thank you, Laura. I believe
    Thank you, Laura. I believe I will be going with Fox Chase (the cancer center that is an hour and a half away). That surgeon has suggested I not have the immediate reconstruction for a reason and he is an EXCELLENT breast cancer surgeon. I have to put my total faith in him. The local surgeon, who is just a general surgeon has said I could have the immediate reconstruction but I believe this would be one of those 'mistakes' that could threaten my life. Although it will be difficult to have the mastectomy, lose my breast without immediate reconstruction, as well as lose my hair during chemo, I have to know and believe that he is recommending what is best for my recovery. It will be a very long and treacherous year ahead of me, but I can look forward to a breast reconstruction when I'm done with all my treatments. It was very difficult for me to hear this as it was something that once again I was NOT expecting, but I have to just keep taking these pitches and slamming them out of the ball park.

    Thanks for caring!

    Hi Marlene...
    Welcome. I thought I would add a little reinforcement to your decision. I am originally from Willingboro, NJ (south central - Burlington County) but I live in Wheeling, WV now. My Uncle went to Chase for his treatment and loved it.
    All my Oncology team is 1 1/2 hours away in Pittsburg, but I am having Radiation here in Wheeling. They work very well together as a team. Plus my PCP sees me in between my visits to Pittsburg. It works out to me seeing a specialist once a week. You would think just one of them would invite me on their yatcht....I think I own part of the anchors by now (Ha, ha)!!
    Anyway, I wanted a team that I was 100% trusting in their recomendations. Their job was to "fix" me and my job was to do what they tell me. I was not comfortable with a general surgeon here. Maybe if it was my tonsils or appendix, but not my boobies!! The Surgeon I chose is a Surgical Oncologist plus head of Allegheny General Cancer Center. I didn't care if I had to go half way across the country, I was ready to do whatever it took.
    Good luck with your decision. I think Chase will take good care of you. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes. :(-) Pammy