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runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

My wife of 43 yrs Linda was diagnosed with EC back in Febuary She is finished with Kemo and Raidation Surgery is in 2 weeks She is at Sloan in NYC I am tempoaraly unimployed and her care giver PLEASE someone give me help to get through this I know it is not easy to do I am doing my best Just need some advice here She is MY ROCK and i am in trouble
PLEASE someone give me some advice

Thanks for letting me talk here Starting to cry have to stop

Abe AKA Runabe

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

Hello Abe,

I am Lori aka Moe,and also a caregiver, You have come to the right site,if you want help, and if you want some answers, or some advice, we are here to help you, if you want advice and people that has walked your shoes, My husband is 45 years old and was diagnosed as stage 2 EC on April 1, when I first came on this site I was so petrified of reading different things I didn't know if I could do this, As I write this my husband had surgery on July 23, and is still in the hospital in ICU, but don't let that scare you his surgery went fine, he has had problems breathing on his own, so therefore that is keeping him in ICU, I will tell you its not a easy road, We went through 3 rounds of hard Chemo, and then surgery. You Haven't said how old your wife is, but I am assuming somewhere between 50-60 years old, and you haven't said what stage her cancer is and etc.

There is a very knowledgeable gentleman on here names "William Marshall" he will scare the pants off of you but without him I wouldn't have gotten where I am today, At first I didn't like what he had to say, but as I went on this journey, he was there to help me, if I was down he lifted me up, if I was scared he knew what to say, he is a wonderful man, if you want advice. There is also another one on this site named "KITTEN" she is 24 years old and had the surgery last year she never drank someked but was diagnosed with this she has had the surgery and doing quite well, she is on vacation so she won't respond for about a week. I am MOE, and according to William have come along ways since when I first signed on to this site. I will do my best to help you or walk you through things if you need help.

Please know we are here to help you and hope we can. Just keep your chin up and you cant help but cry I did everyone does, but the more you talk about it the better you will be.

I have a saying you have to pull up your "BIG BOY UNDERWARE" and move on. I hope i haven't came across too harsh but I am here if you need help you can either send it privately or answer back on this.

Please let me know how I can help

Lori AKA MOE

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

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MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

Sherri,

I too am a caretaker for my husband, and what an inspriation your reply is, You seem to be a strong person, I was the way you and your husband was in the doctors office we were shocked, we were diagnosed in April in fact April fools day, and we were waiting for someone to say "APRIL FOOLS" I too have had to be the ROCK with us, my husband is/was stage 2 and I never saw him cry until he was diagnosed with this terrible "cancer" We had very hard Chemo in the beginning and I too had to tell him how far he has come. As I type this he is recuping from surgery and is in the ICU, it has been very hard for me, The surgery part went great, its the after part with lungs and etc. Its so hard to see him lay there with all these tubes, when he was a man that worked form sun up to sundown, plus hold down a full time job, he is a very determined man but a great man.

Sherri, you didn't say wheather your husband cancer is operable, I hope it is, I am so glad you told Abe what you did about this site, I agree this is a excellent site, I was so petrified when I came on this i didn't know how I was going to handle this. I have gotten to know William Marshall and Kitten on this site, and yes William will scare you but he is a great person, I don't know what I would have done without him, Please go to all my postings and read what great advice he gave me, I thought at first this man is scaring the CRAP out of me, but as my saying goes, "I PULLED UP MY BIG GIRL PANTIES" AND MOVED ON, Please know if I can help I would be glad to do it.

I will look forward to talking to you.

Lori aka MOE

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

Thank you Sherri, for your nice reply it helps knowing you have been trying to keep up with my information. I am so sorry that Jim is inoperable, I count my blessings everyday that Jeff's was operable but seeing him the way he is has been very hard, him not being able to talk and walk has been difficult, Yes we have taken one day at a time and try to not overhelm me our ourselves. I agree with you so much as we don't know what tomorrow will bring, Yes we wish we did have control over this ugly disease but only GOD does, I hope so much when he goes back to the doctor that you get the news that he is operable, I would ssay if he is to go for it, but prepared for the worst and you will get the best.
Please keep me advised, I will be waiting to hear from you, and hopefully we can share stories since we both are caretakers, Also, I don't know what you think of "WILLIAM MARSHALL" but personally he gives great advice he will scare you in the beginning and trust me he did me, but after I started this journey I started asking him for advice and to have my spirits lifted because I didn't know if I could make it one more day at the hospital without some kind of lifting, and that he did.

Sheri, please keep me adviced I will also be floowing your stories.

as Kitten saying goes : "LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS ITS ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN. "

Loves and Hugs
Lori aka Moe

JaneE2366's picture
JaneE2366
Posts: 332
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Sherri,
My name is Jane and I am also very new to this site. I feel like I can relate to you as well. I am a caretaker. My husband Charlie (57) was diagnosed in March with stage IV EC...inoperable. He had no symptoms and has not trouble swallowing so there was no need for any kind of feeding tube for which I am grateful. However, he has mets to his lymph nodes, lung, liver, and peritoneal cavity. If we did nothing, they gave him 2 - 3 months. Chemo was his only option which he took. Originally they wanted to do 6 rounds of chemo. He goes into the hospital for his treatments. Starts off with Taxotere, Cisplatin, and then 120 continuous hours of 5-FU. Not an easy course of treatment. However, after 2 rounds they did another PET scan and he is responding extremely well. Tumor in the esophagus is inactive. They have decided to do only 4 rounds. He finished his last round last week. Now we may go on Xeloda to keep it in remission.
Charlie like your husband has always been my rock...the strong one. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. He is extremely emotional...cries every day. I am not finding fault. I can't say how I would be in his shoes. I try to encourage him as you do your husband. I tell him he is doing so well.....we are going to beat this. He agrees but I guess he just can't believe it. I do my crying in private so not to upset him. We have no children so he is so concerned about what is going to happen to me if he doesn't beat this thing. Believe me, I am concerned too, but I try not to show it. I know I have to be strong. If I fall apart it will be worse for him. I tell him just to take one day at a time....little steps.....and try to think positive thoughts. And as you say...only God can control the outcome. My thoughts are with you and I will pray for your husband.
Jane

mumphy's picture
mumphy
Posts: 486
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi,

My name is Kathy my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 ec in May. He is 61 never smoked,
rarely drank and worked out every day. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

Now you as a caretaker will have the hardest job there is, I don't mean to scare you but I'm there now. You will be angry, sad, depressed, happy, overwhelmed and a multitude of
all emotions. I try not to let my husband see me cry so I do it when he's sleeping.

This is a great site I have gotten alot of support and alot of information. Everyone here
is going through exactly what you are going through so we do understand,

I believe that I was ment to find this site because without it I don't know what I would have done everyone here has been so kind and helpful, and we are all pulling for each other

We have 4 more weeks of chemo & then we will know if Al can have is operation.

Come here to vent anytime someone is listening.
My prayers are with you.

Kathy

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

Monday we are going back to Sloan for tests C.T.& P.E.T. Scans to see how the tumor is doing after kemo Also breathing tests All for surgery next week We see the doctor on Wednesday for consult before surgery on Monday 8/10 PLEASE keep Linda in your thoughts Have to stop now starting to cry

Abe AKA Runabe

mumphy's picture
mumphy
Posts: 486
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Abe,

Hope all goes well at Sloan K. They are one of the best places you can be going to. Linda
will be in good hands. Hope the CT PET scans go well today and that you can have surgery
asap.

Keep your ching up. Don't be afraid to cray, I've been there. Please let us know how thing are going. Hopefully surgery will be scheduled soon.

Our prayers are with you.

Good Luck

Kathy

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

We went for C.A.T. & P.E.T.scans today Also breathing test to make sure Linda will be good for surgery Looks good We will consult with Surgon on Wednesday Hospital stay is 9 days No food for seven Barrier test on day seven to make sure no leaks Liquids on day eight soft on day 9 No feeding tube which Linda is VERY HAPPY about Will report back on Wednesday to tell more I APPRECIATE the fact i can talk with you guys and YOU ALL KNOW what this old man is going through

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

Abe AKA runabe Got the name because in my life time have run 25 marathons 17 NYC Marathons

poopsiegal
Posts: 25
Joined: Jul 2009

WELL HELLO MY FRIENDS AND I AM GLAD TO C YOU ALL ARE DOING WELL AND OMG SOME OF YOU ARE NOT I COME TO BREAK THE BARRIER AND PRAY THAT FENCES WILL BE MENDED I TRY TO BRING COMFORT AND A SMILE LOL I GUESS GOING THROUGH OUR TRIALS WITH OUR SON I WENT TO SO MANY PLACES ON THE NET AND WENT THROUGH SO MANY SO CALLED FRIENDS AND I TRULY FOUND NONE BECAUSE IN REALITY THEY R NOT GOING THROUGH WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH SO ALL THEY CAN DO IS SAY TO U I AM SORRY R I AM PRAYING FOR YOU AND THATS OK I UNDERSTAND BUT I FOUND THIS SITE AND WOW I WAS READY, WE ALL KNOW EVERYONE SITUATION IS DIFFRENT AND EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE THE SAME EC ITS ON A DIFFRENT LEVEL FROM EACH OTHERS SOME MAY HAVE THE SAME AND SOME WELL WE R DIFFRENT BUT YOU COME TO THIS SITE FOR HOPE A CHANCE TO READ WHERE SOMEONE ELSE HAS MADE IT EVEN THOUGH A DR MAY HAVE GIVEN UP ON US WE READ MIRACLE STORIES DAILY AND THAT GIVES US HOPE COME ON YOU ALL WE ARE HERE TO BE A SUPPORT WE R NOT TRYING TO BE A DR NOR A THERAPIST BUT A STRING OF STRENGHT AND SUPPORT I KNOW THIS WORD CALLED CANCER CAN MAKE ALL US REACT IN A WAY WE MAY NOT UNDERSTAND AND I KNOW WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND BUT LETS TRY TO USE THE SITUATION IN A WAY THAT WE CAN PULL SOMETHING FROM THAT SO WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER IN A SUPPORT ROLL.
ALOT OF PPL USE THIS SITE FOR SUPPORT AND I THINK WHEN WE PUT THE NEGATIVE OUT THERE AND WE KNOCK EACH OTHER THATS NOT BEING A SUPPORT TEAM I DONT KNOW AND I DONT WANNA KNOW WHY THE NEGATIVE BUT I DO KNOW WE NEED TO LET GO THE NEGATIVE AND NOT PUT IT ON HERE LIKE THAT CANCER IS ENOUGH NEGATIVE AND IF WE R ATTACKING ONE ANOTHER THROUGH WORDS THATS NOT NICE.
LETS REGROUP AND LETS GET BACK TO THE POSITIVE.
TO ALL NEWBIES WHEN YOU GO TO A SITE LIKE THIS REMEMBER WE R NOT DRS WE R CAREGIVERS AND PATIENTS AND ALL WE TRY TO DO IS GIVE U A PART OF OUR UPS AND DOWNS TO SHOW YOU THAT HEY NO MATTER WHAT WE R GOING THROUGH WE CAN MAKE IT.
WE STAND IN UNITY WE FIGHT IN UNITY WE WIN UNITY.
NOW AFTER ALL THAT HAS BEEN SAID ANY ONE READY TO BUY ME LUNCH LOL SEE YOU ALL SOON BYE FOR NOW.

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

I will poopsiegal. When and where?

MOE

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

Abe,

that is great news, I know you two were happy when you got the news, I hope her surgery goes well hopefully everything will fall into place jeff is on day 14 with no food, we thought the feeding tube would be gross but its not, he has adjusted to it well. he doesn't have no leaks either thank goodness now we are starting to make progress. Do you know if the doctor mentioned a NG tube? just wondering. I hope your wife gets along well,
please know we here if you need us.

Thanks
Moe aka Lori

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

The Dr said no feed tube at all Linda is very happy with that so am I A nine day hospital stay When she gets home soft diet for a while Tumor is low just above the stomach so they do not have to remave all that much We are going to the DR tommorrow I will let you know more at night

Love
Abe

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

That is great see there is always a rainbow on the other side of the pot of gold. You just hang in there and keep me posted

Love
MOE aka Lori

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

We went to doctors today Met again with sergon all set for Monday I am still nervous about it just cant show Linda that i am Will check back in Monday or Tuesday to let everybody know what is going on

Thanks for letting me talk Feel MUCH BETTER

Abe

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks for the Very nice post to Linda and Myself As i said I am A Marine two tours in The Nam was under fire many times At night there would be so many tracers it looked like daytime you know what i am talking about Was scared at the time but nothing like when Linda was told about her cancer We had a Medic who never carried a fire arm was a person who never thaught about it He was never hurt i guess God does watch upon people Saw a LOT of people die there much to much for a man of 18 yrs old Was a boy when i went lost my youth in that s*** hole over there When we got back a lot of personal trouble when i got home met Linda and she stood by me in my bad times as i call them Thanks for letting me talk about this makes me feel a lot better And thank you for your very nice post to Linda and I

Abe Slominsky AKA Runabe

kitten0385's picture
kitten0385
Posts: 278
Joined: Apr 2009

Abe,

While I am sorry you have had to find this site, I am very glad you have. Esophageal Cancer is a tough road to follow, but the fight can be won! Please know that we are hear to listen to you and allow you to vent all that you need. As a caregiver, I give you sincere props for being there for your wife, I know that as a patient, we can sometimes be difficult to deal with. It is great that her surgery is coming up, just another bump on the road to overcome. Be strong, you CAN do this! I was diagnosed with stage 3 EC in October, an have since had surgery, 6 months of chemo, and 25 radiation treatments, and I am doing well...going back to my teaching on the 17th! I have a CT next week to see how all is looking, so I definitely know how your nerves and thoughts can run overtime when dealing with this ugly thing we all know as cancer. Please message me any time. as I always say...."life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Many prayers are being sent your way,

Cathy

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

Monday is the date Had the children over this afternoon for a lunch Linda cant eat but just was good company with the children Surgery is 9 am which is good early Will post on Monday to update how Linda is feeling PLEASE say a prayer for Linda she is my POCK I NEED HER

Abe AKA Runabe

kitten0385's picture
kitten0385
Posts: 278
Joined: Apr 2009

Abe,

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Linda tomorrow. I wish you guys the best of luck!!

Cathy

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

Abe,

GOOD LUCK TOMORROW, just remember I have been there and done that. Hang in there and cry if you want it will help. Please keep us posted.

Lori aka MOE

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks to my NEW FAMILY here You have helped me with the pain I am feeling I KNOW Linda will be OK that is not my worry just that she will be ok if you know what i am talking about I know there are a lot of you here that know what i am saying I do not have a gift for writing words I am dyslexic and did not learn how to read till i joined the Marines They taught me how Even though i had trouble with reading at that time I could take strip my 14 down and put it back blindfolded I am forever gratefull to Linda for making me the Man i am today Have to stop now starting to cry I will post as soon as i can tommorrow

Love You All

Abe AKA Runabe

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

Went well took a large lemon size tumor out as well as most of the esopoagus Saw her for a short time after surgery looked VERY GOOD for what she went through No feeding tube just all the other tubes that are necessary Bill thanks a lot for the nice words You remind me of the Medic who was there with us Never carried a 14 was an objector Amish country man Spoke very nicely gave last rights many times and comfort more then that Will talk later

Abe

kitten0385's picture
kitten0385
Posts: 278
Joined: Apr 2009

Abe,

I am so happy to hear that surgery went well!!! I hope she continues smoothly with her recovery! My thoughts will be with you!

Cathy

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

ABE,

I am so happy that things went well, the first 48 hours are the hardest, Just remember they will take the tubes out one by one, just talk to her weather she hears you or not let her know you are there I did and it helps, you will cry to see her lay there and you cant do nothing for her, you want to so bad but you cant, go in as much as you are allowed it will help. Glad she didn't have to have a feeding tube we still have ours but haven't had to use it yet. Please know I am here if you need me, except William is alot smarter than I am on this stuff, but I can sure tell you what to expect.

Hang in there
Lori aka MOE

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

William,

I still have the big girl panties and try to kid other ones that are having a hard time. You did give me great advice when I needed it, and hopefully I can help others like you helped me. We don't make any rash decisions and we won't but if i need help I know where to go for help you. Thanks for helping me when I thought there wasn't light at the end of the tunnel.

I will keep in touch, and tell Loretta I really enjoy her cards that really make my day.

Lori aka as the BIG GIRL PANTIES STORY

Betty in Vegas's picture
Betty in Vegas
Posts: 311
Joined: Jul 2009

He is part of me, like my arm, no, more...like my heart. So I understand. My prayers will be with you as you go through this battle. Remember, she is an individual, a statistic of one. She can win this...and you can be there to share it --which will bring her great peace. It's like nam--only with someone to really understand who has shared your life.

mumphy's picture
mumphy
Posts: 486
Joined: Jun 2009

ABE,

I SO GLAD THAT THE SURGERY WENT WELL, AND THAT LINDA IS LOOKING GOOD TUBES AND ALL!!!!
I'M AMAZED AT HOW FAST IT HAPPENED. I PRAY THAT HER RECOVERY IS JUST AS FAST.

STAY STRONG, TALK TO YOU SOON!
GOD BLESS
KATHY

runabe
Posts: 53
Joined: Aug 2009

Lindas surgery was Monday She is feeling pretty good some pain but nothing very bad Up and walking about in a limited amount Kemo did a number on her vains Hard to take blood had a port in but was remover because of slight infection Retaining a bit to much fluid but i thing that is a small problem LINDA IS HERE WITH ME THAT IS WHAT COUNTS Cancre free

I felt when i was over in the Nam that i lost faith but i thing i got a bit of it back here

I LOVE YOU GUYS

Abe AKA Runabe

emg09
Posts: 252
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm glad to hear Linda is up and walking!! Keep your faith and stay strong!! She sounds like she's making good progress!!

Erika

MOE58's picture
MOE58
Posts: 649
Joined: May 2009

Glad Linda is doing good, yes when they get you up walking you feel like a vegatable per my husband, Chemo did a number on her like it did my husband, Thats too bad that the port had to come out cause that is a good thing to have. Yes we retained fluid too, hopefully they will get rid of that too. You hang in there she will be home in no time. Know I have been through this and we are doing good. If I can help let me know
Lori aka MOE

mumphy's picture
mumphy
Posts: 486
Joined: Jun 2009

HEY ABE,

GLAD TO SEE LINDA IS UP AND WALKING, SOON SHE WILL BE HOME AND RUNNING AROUND IN NO TIME!
YOU SOUND IN GOOD SPIRITS. SORRY TO HERE ABOUT LINDA'S VEINS AND PORT, HAVING THE PORT DOES MAKE THINGS A LOT EASIER. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

TALK TO YOU SOON!!
KATHY

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