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O.K. I done it!

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2041
Joined: Oct 2008

After years of abuse I finally got my own apartment..........In a foreign country.........I am english, I arrived here 6 years ago to be with a canadian...........I loved him sooooooooooo much///////not any more...............he chased that person away..........\anyway..........I'm going to make it alone..........Thanks for all your good wishes.......... hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MichelleP's picture
MichelleP
Posts: 254
Joined: May 2009

I wish you nothing but happiness and finally some peace of mind Tasha! No woman deserves to be abused! Keep in touch and let us know how things are going please!

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

Being alone can often be a gift! You deserve much happiness and peace of mind after all you have endured. This new life of yours will prove an adventure. You will become much more creative in how you structure your life and wind up being proud of what you will accomplish for yourself.

Many congratulations!

Love and Courage!

Rick

Sally08's picture
Sally08
Posts: 47
Joined: Jan 2009

Congratulations!! :)
I'm so happy for you!! :D
That's such a huge deal,
Awesome!!
lol
Sally.

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2041
Joined: Oct 2008

For the encouragement and support......I'll get there, it's just an emotional roller-coaster at the moment.....Thank you all...... Hugs Jxxxxxxxx

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

I'm glad you have your own place. No one deserves to live in an abusive situation. It took alot of strength to do what you did. You deserve to be happy and be treated like a queen.

slickwilly's picture
slickwilly
Posts: 339
Joined: Feb 2007

Tasha. What a long and twisted road you have been down. I hope you have found the peace in your life that you deserve. And that includes a toilet that won't fall over and being treated with respect. I know you appreciate the little things in life and will love decorating your own place. Just imagine being in charge of your own T.V. remote control and not having someone switching the channels ha ha. Holy my wife hates that! Best of luck Slickwilly

SonSon's picture
SonSon
Posts: 186
Joined: Jul 2009

I don't know you or your story - but any person who walks away from an abusive situation deserves a cheer.
I was speaking to a religious person about an acquaintance who was having serious marital problems that included physical and mental abuse. I was making the argument for helping her to divorce and his comment was "oh, yes, she could take the easy way out...". BS - leaving is NOT EASY. I've been there and I KNOW.
So - YOU, Tasha, just remember that YOU are worth the trouble you are going through and that you are a beautiful, intelligent, loving, love-able and deserving person.
Fatima

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2041
Joined: Oct 2008

Thank you very much, and everyone else who has helped me through this most heartwrenchingly difficult decission. My Ex is laying it on and making this even harder, he has promised me everything under the sun..BUT, he can't turn the clocks back and undo all that has been going on, and saying.."I'm sorry, I was so wrong" Is just too little, too late. He's threatened all sorts, begged, pleaded and promised.....now he is split between compromising and taking to his bed in utter depression. I am in no way a cold hearted person, BUT I can't allow myself to put up with his nastiness anymore, nor should I. My self preservation button has been pushed and that is that!
I am now looking forward to stage 5........Life without him.
Maybe your priorities change with a cancer diagnosis, maybe not, mine were forced to change, and I really have all you great STRONG supportive people to thank for your empathy and understanding. You have helped me, not pushed or judged me. I thank you all. Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx

poopsiegal
Posts: 25
Joined: Jul 2009

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU U GO GURL YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT.NOONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED AND I AM GLAD U GOT THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

You are an inspiration to a lot of women out there...and Im sure men also...an abusive relationship is one to quickly remove your self from....good job girl.......Good Luck to you.....Clift

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

I'm very happy to hear that you are out of the arms of an abuser! No one ever has the right to hit someone else! I hope you are very happy where you are, I can feel the empowerment in your post, I'm proud of you!

Hugsss!
~Donna

lindaprocopio's picture
lindaprocopio
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

I'm so glad you did this. From your earliest posts when you were getting chemo, suffering his unreasonable demands and pettiness, I always wanted you OUT of there. It's scary and hard to give up that tiny shred of security, even when that security is shaky and comes at such a high price. I'm very proud of you. I know personally what it takes to do what you have just done. ((((((big hug)))))).

SonSon's picture
SonSon
Posts: 186
Joined: Jul 2009

Do not be fooled by his apologies, begging for forgiveness, promises to never do it again, promises to make things better....
This is all part of the cycle of violence. Once you let your guard down and give in to his wishes for you to stay it will just keep rolling forward and around and around...
Many people romanticize this by saying "makeup sex is the best..." - what they are not pointing out, at least not directly, is the fight. Smaller squabbles are pretty normal - fist fights are not. Disagreements that are discussed are normal, total control by one partner at any cost is not.
Keep moving forward with your self care. Yes, you will think about him and wish you could be with him for the good things he's been for you. But remind yourself soberly of the pain that he's caused you and the behavior that he is unable to change.
In this cycle you have an abuser and a victim - the only way to break the cycle is to remove one of those factors. Remove the victim and the abuser stops (until he finds some other unsuspecting victim).
((((((TASHA))))))) hugs
Fatima

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1154
Joined: May 2008

On your new journey

michelle

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