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How do I deal?

kay-b
Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2009

I am 25 & have stage IVB Cervical cancer. The only family/support I had left, my grandma, just passed away a couple of weeks ago. I am now in an assisted living facility because my doctor doesn't feel it's safe for me to live alone. The only friend I have supporting me lives about 12 hours away from me. He does the best he can to help me, and visits when he can, but sometimes I just feel so alone. I know I don't have a lot of time left and I don't want to spend what's left depressed and crying all the time. Basically I was just wondering if anyone else can relate to the way i'm feeling? How did/do you cope with it?

WinneyPooh's picture
WinneyPooh
Posts: 318
Joined: Jul 2009

Get out of there, Find a church or someone who can help you find a kind home to live in, I am sure there are lots of cancer survivers in your area with a spare bedroom start asking the socialworkers to ask around, But what ever you don't stay there. If you lived here in GA you could come live with me eventhough i have cancer also and I am broke, But i hve a spare bed.

Love and Prayers please don't give up.
Winney

kay-b
Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you so much Winney, that's very kind of you to say. I'm just worried about leaving. It's hard to make it on my own these days. I require a lot of help and I just don't want to put that much on anyone. It's so difficult because I can't really relate to anyone here, as they are all so much older than me. I am trying to stay positive but it's very hard. I'm still grieving the loss of my grandma, and now i'm dealing with being alone. I want to be happy but I just don't know how that's possible. But thank you so much for your kind words. It's nice to talk to people that can at least relate to me.

Blessings and prayers for you too. :)

WinneyPooh's picture
WinneyPooh
Posts: 318
Joined: Jul 2009

Kay,
I am going through my second time with cancer, i first had hodgeskins lympomia early thirties and i was in stage 4 with two collasped lung, I had two small children and a husband ( you could count him as a third child). Eventhough i was very sick they never let me act sick they constantly demanded my attention and drove to get better. I did i beat the odds. and stayed cancer free for 11 years, now on my 44 birthbay i made an appointment to get a colonoscopy and they found cancer there and in my liver when they did a follow up scan, this was june 13th.
Needless to say my DX is pretty complex and involves two surgeries and lots of chemo and radition all of which i can't imagin doing again. But i am.

I had round three today and meeting with my doctor went something like this.
Doc" how do you feel?
Me " fine" (my brin yelling not fine why dod you say that you fool"
Doc " Any new side effects?
Me "nothing too serious just diarreah and headaches but i can handle them (my brain yelling again quietly so only i can hear "you idiot ask for pain med you know your out, what are you thinking!!!)
Doc " is there anything you need from me or want to ask?
Me No I am great (my brain so loud i am sure he can hear me " you idiot you blew it, now what!!)

Later social worker comes by ( who in the past i cried my eyes out to ) and she ask "how are you doing?"

me "fine great no i don't need anything"

My point is If you need help, love or just a friend to talk to please seek them out there is great power in this in healing. Things may seem grim. Atleast go to the Cervicial cancer discussion group and put shout out in your area state or whereever. My survivors were told they had no hope. ( I was told and i did not believe it not for one moment, and if they tell me the samething now will not believe it either).

My heart goes out to You , i want to come to you and give a really big hug.

HUGS from GA
Winney

kay-b
Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2009

I'm so sorry. You have been through so much. You sound like a very strong person, and I admire that. I hope you get the help you need.

A big hug is just what I need. It's so cold here in the facility. I was going to a support group a while back but stopped going once I started having more problems. Which meant spending several weeks in the hospital on more than one occasion. My only friend supporting me is away right now, so I haven't even got to talk to him (except through email) in about a month. Having people like you to talk to helps so much. You totally understand where I'm coming from. Today makes a year since my diagnosis, which is hard. All those emotions came flooding back. Bad day to say the least.

I appreciate you talking with me. I feel not so alone.

Please take care of yourself.

ElissaF
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi Kay-B,
I'm very sorry for the loss of your grandmother and for the incredibly unfair hand that you have been dealt. I hope you know that you are not alone: you have a community of support here in these forums and I think I speak for lots of folks on here when I say that we can help you find some resources to help make your days a bit brighter. Can I ask what town/city you're located in?
Here if you want to chat, Elissa

kay-b
Posts: 11
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you so much Elissa. I am feeling more sick than ever from the treatment and now am deciding whether I want to continue on with it. I feel so stressed because I know if I stop I may not have much longer. But is it worth it if I feel so sick and weak all the time? I think it's hitting me harder than ever that I may not be here much longer. The only friend I had left supporting me has seemed to disappear. I haven't heard from him in a while and i'm beginning to think it was too much for him. I feel more depressed than ever. I never thought i'd lose him, he was so supportive and protective of me. Now he's gone. I cry every single night, I can't eat or sleep. I feel like giving up. I know i'm not alone because I have you guys, but sometimes I need more. I need someone who loves me and I don't understand why he has left me. What do I do now? I feel so lost.

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