2 years post diagnosis and 23 year marriage is over

LilSister
LilSister Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
So, I haven't heard anybody talking about the effects of early menopause and the effects on your marriage. I was 2 years out from diagnosis, actually exactly to the day 2 years from the call from my doctor with my biopsy results. Came home from work to find my 23 year marriage was over, husband had moved out and taken everything of value, even my life insurance, which he was the owner of the policy. All of this 6 weeks after my sister died from a 8 year battle with breast cancer. I had to quit my tempory job and move out of state, in with my daughter. I can't find a job here, insurance will be running out soon. No matter how hard you pretend, it ain't all pink ribbons and recovery.

Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #2
    No Sister, it isn't all Pink
    No Sister, it isn't all Pink Ribbons and Recovery; but it is certainly Real Life, isn't it? We most often do recover, and some of us still like pink, but as you know only too well~ this journey is not paved with gold. Firstly, I am so sorry about your sister...it is a loss to the entire community of Kindred Spirits, and especially to you. I find that more discouraging than your husband walking out; his actions, though not perhaps common, are not unique to many of us here. We can certainly empathize with you~ the physical devastation topped by emotional abandonment and the financial worries is a part of this NO ONE should have to experience. My heart is with you, and I dare say, so are the hearts of everyone of us on these boards.

    I hope you can find assistance for your insurance~ have you tried the ACS? If they cannot help, they are at least a great resource.

    Sisters? I know you will weigh in here~ our LilSister needs us!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #3
    Dear LilSister
    I have to agree with Claudia, and we do welcome you here with open arms, hopefully you will find it better living with your daughter. It is always better to have positive reinforcement around you while battling the beast. Very sorry to hear about your sister, yes it has to be devastating to everyone involved.

    Sounds like you might be better off without the husband who leaves you at your time of need. Just sorry that he had to make the battle even more tough for you.

    You can find plenty of encouragement, hope, sadness, anger, all colors, and pink here. So I hope you feel better soon and come by often to ask questions, or just vent.

    Cat
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #4
    cats_toy said:

    Dear LilSister
    I have to agree with Claudia, and we do welcome you here with open arms, hopefully you will find it better living with your daughter. It is always better to have positive reinforcement around you while battling the beast. Very sorry to hear about your sister, yes it has to be devastating to everyone involved.

    Sounds like you might be better off without the husband who leaves you at your time of need. Just sorry that he had to make the battle even more tough for you.

    You can find plenty of encouragement, hope, sadness, anger, all colors, and pink here. So I hope you feel better soon and come by often to ask questions, or just vent.

    Cat

    LilSister
    It happens, I know. You may not feel so good now, but you are better off without a man like this. I'm sorry you are going through this, at this time. Sod Pink.......I'm into converting the whole of the breast cancer, 'Carcinoma Kids' into TURQUOISE! it's far more cheerful!

    Hugs Jxxxxxxx
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #5
    Dearest Lilsister....
    my heart aches for you. What a burden you must be feeling right now. I'm sure the weight of the world feels like it has fallen directly onto your shoulders and you feel like you are caving under that weight.
    First, take a really big deep breath, let it out, now cry your heart out!! When you feel like your all out of tears (this will happen!), then dry your eyes and square up those shoulders and show the world just how tough you are!! One day at a time!
    Just like the phone commercial for verizon where the phone people follow the caller everywhere they go, so we will be right there with you through cyberspace. Thank the lord for your daughter because she will be there as well for you.
    Life never turns out the way we hope for it to (can't think of one person that "hoped" to get cancer) and with all it's twist and turns, we end up in places we never thought we would ever be (not neccessarily geographically!).
    Hang in there. Come here whenever you need to (heck, I'm a daily fixture pretty much!) We are here to help each other cope. You will make it through this hurdle in your life just as you have all the others for the past 2 years. :) Pammy
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #6
    So sorry for your loss
    So sorry for your loss Lilsister. You've really had a rough time, and I hope things start going better for you soon.
    Dee
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #7
    :-(
    My most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your sister, I lost mine to cancer in 2007 so I know your pain. I am truly sorry your husband made the decision that he did, alas it happens sometimes. Some people just don't know how to deal with life when it is not rosy! We here certainly do! I too am glad you have your daughter as you both will draw strength from each other and when you find that hard to do come in here and we will do all that we can to hold you up. You said you are 2 years out so you have fought the beast and come out the other side, the rest though not easy is surely easier! My best to you and many many hugs!

    RE
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #8
    dyaneb123 said:

    So sorry for your loss
    So sorry for your loss Lilsister. You've really had a rough time, and I hope things start going better for you soon.
    Dee

    SO SORRY
    First of all let me begin by saying how dare he? What an a**. I am so sorry for all the loses you have gone through and still are. Please try to keep faith and your head held hi. Things will be better some day. I know it is hard to believe that, but know that you have a lot of hugs and prayers coming from me and a lot of people on this board.

    laura
  • bfbear
    bfbear Member Posts: 380
    #9
    RE said:

    :-(
    My most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your sister, I lost mine to cancer in 2007 so I know your pain. I am truly sorry your husband made the decision that he did, alas it happens sometimes. Some people just don't know how to deal with life when it is not rosy! We here certainly do! I too am glad you have your daughter as you both will draw strength from each other and when you find that hard to do come in here and we will do all that we can to hold you up. You said you are 2 years out so you have fought the beast and come out the other side, the rest though not easy is surely easier! My best to you and many many hugs!

    RE

    So sorry LilSister..
    for all your losses. It really sounds like you're in a bad spot at the moment. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing we are here to listen and to encourage your efforts to recover from the collateral damage that cancer seems to have cost you.

    One day at a time is the best you can do sometimes, but the idea is to survive now, thrive later!

    Sending hopes and prayers,
    Debi
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #10
    I am.....
    I am also sorry for the loss of your sister. Very painful thing to have happen, even when we are in the best of health...not battling our own cancer,

    Your husband, well, I'm very sorry that your marriage ended up dissolving. It certainly left your in a difficult position. I guess that some men just can't "take it" when things aren't going well.

    Big hugs and I will keep you in my prayers, LilSister.....

    CR
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #11
    No Lilsister... it is a hard
    No Lilsister... it is a hard road...and that is why we are "Warriors"... it is a physical, mental and very much an emotional toll that can wreck complete havoc in our lives...... Please accept my deepest condolences regarding the loss of your dear sister... I know how hard it is to lose a sibling.... please contact ACS to see if you can get some assistance... they will have information on many resources that may be able to assist you.

    There really are no words that are going to magically make it better... I wish our words could... reach into your heart and take some of the pain away... but what words I can tell you, though do not fix things.. I hope they bring you a little bit of comfort... we are here... we will be here.... for you... You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    A gentle hug to you.

    ~T
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #12
    taleena said:

    No Lilsister... it is a hard
    No Lilsister... it is a hard road...and that is why we are "Warriors"... it is a physical, mental and very much an emotional toll that can wreck complete havoc in our lives...... Please accept my deepest condolences regarding the loss of your dear sister... I know how hard it is to lose a sibling.... please contact ACS to see if you can get some assistance... they will have information on many resources that may be able to assist you.

    There really are no words that are going to magically make it better... I wish our words could... reach into your heart and take some of the pain away... but what words I can tell you, though do not fix things.. I hope they bring you a little bit of comfort... we are here... we will be here.... for you... You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    A gentle hug to you.

    ~T

    Lilsister
    I am so glad you found us. please keep posting you will be amazed if you aren't already at the careing and compassionate sisters here waiting to help you and, support you.
    I know as Taleena said that the ACS would be the best place to start. and just remember when one door closes another will open. you will be ok hun. Just tak one day at a time. You are in my thoughts and pryers,
    Jackie
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #13
    rjjj said:

    Lilsister
    I am so glad you found us. please keep posting you will be amazed if you aren't already at the careing and compassionate sisters here waiting to help you and, support you.
    I know as Taleena said that the ACS would be the best place to start. and just remember when one door closes another will open. you will be ok hun. Just tak one day at a time. You are in my thoughts and pryers,
    Jackie

    I am so sorry. Please check
    I am so sorry. Please check with your local ACS. They can help you out probably. And, if not, they will put you in touch with someone that can. There is a lot of help out there.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

    Hugs, Kristin

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