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Finding support for a friend

Faith0104
Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2009

My friend was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in February of this year. He started chemotherapy treatments in March. When I met him in April he had an extremely positive attitude, but as the months have gone on, his attitude is less positive. He tells me he feels weak and tired. He tells me that his emotions are all over the place. He wants me there, but I don't know how to comfort him or how to relate to him. I don't understand what he is going through. I can only see how it affects him. He told me that he wishes he could find someone his age he could talk to that knows how he is feeling. If anyone knows how I can find someone for him to talk to, he and I would both be extremely grateful.

God Bless

Hestia
Posts: 26
Joined: Jun 2009

Your friend would find a great deal of support on this site "Cancer Survivors Network." If he doesn't want to become active he can join and just read the comments from everyone. I don't know his age range but I can certainly attest to the fact that as time goes on one gets more tired, more achy and often we survivors find it more difficult to deal with being in remission than when actually in treatment.
Also his onc office might be able to help him find someone to talk with. The local American Cancer Society and the Luekemia (sp?) & Lymphoma Society have great websites and might have info on local support groups for him.
He certainly has a good friend in you; if he wants to find someone recovering with the same cancer and in the same age range he needs to do some reaching out, but he will eventually find someone.
He's fortunate to have you in his life,
jacky

Faith0104
Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2009

I mentioned this to him. He didn't really have a reaction. He is 20. Very young. I notice changes in his attitude. One day he will be very happy and then the next he will be very down. He and I started dating in April. It has been a tough relationship. When he is down, he isn't sure about us. When he's happy, this is what he wants. I just want whatever is best for him. Whatever will make this better for him. I want him better. I have also noticed that he tends to push people away. He doesn't want to talk to anybody or be around anybody. Is that normal? What I've learned by researching is that he won't have the normal that he had before. Will it ever get better for him as far as fear of it coming back, regaining energy, etc. Thank you for your advice. I will mention this site to him again. I think it would be very helpful for him.

Hestia
Posts: 26
Joined: Jun 2009

It is normal for some of us to withdraw. I suppose it is our way of hiding and not having to deal with talking about the cancer, its' treatment, etc. I don't know how you can help if he refuses to help himself. He is quite young (there is a young survivors site on the Discussion Board). Maybe you could get some tips from that site.

Is anyone family member there for him? Just take care of yourself as much as you can, you may have to move on if he refuses to deal with his situation.
Good luck, will be thinking of you,
Hestia

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