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My Mother Has Brain Cancer

irvinephx
Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2009

Hello,

My mother is a very hard working woman. She is only 65 years old. Recently, we found out that she has brain cancer. We took her to Appollo Hospital in Chennai, India. After all of those tests, we were told that she will survive next six months to a year. She was treated with radiation therapy. Her physical condition is not that good. She can barely walk. She doesn't remember lot of things. Can't talk like before. The problem is that she knows that she is not going to live and we have been trying to tell her that she will survive. She is becoming very weak. We are planning to take her to Bamrungrad Hospital, Bangkok Thailand. Because they are good and not too expensive.

I like to have your opinion on this real bad. Please let me know if we are doing the right thing to take her there. Or is there any other way to save her life? Because it is too early for her to leave us. Please help us out.

I would very much appreciate your help.

God Bless you.

Thank you.

Ruben

vls
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

Sorry to hear what you are going threw...my dad also has the same kind of cancer. He came out of surgery in good shape and has went down hill very quickly. He is in and out of hospitals. Talking with doctors radiation and Chemo really takes a toll on your body. He was admitted to the hospital with a blood infection and pnemonia. He has had blood trasfusion and went into cardiac arest. He got out Friday in went back in yesterday. I feel that with medical help he will get back to where he needs to be soon. I think his next step is a rehab facility to learn and walk again. It's a tough time and seek all the help you can get!!! Ask lots of questions and read about what is going on and maybe someone will have an answer for you. Find healing with prayer.....I wish you the best..don't give up!!!!

irvinebd
Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2009

Thank you so much for your reply. I will definitely do that. Thank you again. God bless you.

sue Siwek
Posts: 281
Joined: Jun 2009

you have not mentioned what type and grade tumor that your mother has. you are doing the right thing to go to the best place possible for treatment. i will tell you that my husband had/has a grade 3 anaplastic astrocytoma and has survived nearly ten years. don't give up it is a long road with lots of highs and lows. keep all of us posted.

breathe09
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2009

Ruben, Sue and the others I found here -- My Mom (67) had surgery for a glioblastoma (grade 3) on July 2. I stayed a month and then returned to my job in Hawaii. I am 38. I was offered entry to a good school in California that starts in early September...ironically, to study neuropsychology.

Some days the grief is overpowering. Then I talk to my Mom and she says "I'm going to beat this". My brother and Dad think she could survive 5 or so years, but there is so much uncertainty -- it seems like average is more like 9-12 months after the debulking.

I have three choices, and all three come with financial issues related 1) defer school one year, 2) go to school as planned (limits flexibilty with seeing Mom, but immerses me in a needed career change) 3) do year #1 online over 2 years (still need a part time job to survive -- not easy to find in this market!). I sometimes downplay the degree that my Mom's diagnosis has on me, and other times I think I overplay it. I have never felt uncertainty quite like this. I have an environment I love and social support here in Hawaii, but it is always, and for everybody, hard to balance financial survival and time to enjoy the beautiful ocean here. My Mom knows that I love it here, but she also knows I want to push through this school program so I can open a business.

Do any of you have any advice on how to think about managing grief, life goals, support for the loved one with brain cancer, and the day-to-day details of paying the rent and health insurance? I feel like cancer is like PacMan...gobbling up my mom piece by piece and I don't know what the score will be or when!

Hugs for all of you that are experiencing this life teaching experience. I think brain cancer is very unique and I have not found support from others who truly understand other than here. I love my Mom and I am sure you love yours too.

Alexandria

sue Siwek
Posts: 281
Joined: Jun 2009

when my husband was diagnosed we had two of our four children still in college. they continued. i think you might sit down with your family and discuss your reservations. i am sure that they will tell you to continue with your life, especially if she has other caregivers. if you want to be near your mother than you will have to sacrifice some of your plans. in the end what is right for you and your family is what you should do. that is not much of an answer but after 9 plus years of caregiving i know that life goes on. my children have thrived and blessed us with grandchildren and love and care even if they are far from home.

whoaminow
Posts: 5
Joined: Aug 2009

I am saddened to hear of your mothers illness. My husband was diagnosed in February this year (09) of stage 4 melanoma brain and lung cancer. He was given 6 months to live. He lived 4. He was only 60. We were shocked to say the least, but as a strong christian family we know Gods plan is always the right plan no matter how bad or how much we don't understand. I can not give you advice because I know I had to do what I felt I had to do at the time I went through this with my husband. No one could really help me. I did everything possible for him,unfortunately, he had a brain hemorrege a month after he was diagnosed and had to also have brain surgery and it goes on and on. I eventually brought him home and cared for him there until his passing on June 3rd. That's where he wanted to be. My goal for him was to keep him at peace and comfortable. I did not want to move him any more than necessary,that is, to take him to other places that might or might not could have helped him. It would have only prolonged an inevitable event and none of the family wanted him to suffer any more.He was totally paralyzed. He could not talk, eat or move. He knew he was in bad shape and so did we. I KNOW you love your mom and you will do everything possible for her and just so you know also...she knows that too. I think you should do everything your heart is telling you to do. None of us know how long we have,only God. I really just want to encourage you to never give up and always keep the faith.. no matter what. Never, never give up. God will do the rest. God bless you and I will pray for the Lords peace and help to come to you and you family! Barbara

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