How do you Ladies do it?
What happened to those loving husbands? When my wife was diagnoised with Kidney Cancer in '01 I had to fend for myself for a week while she underwent Chemotharpy in the hospital.
This went on for several months with few breaks in between. She was still out of it for a week after she came home,too. I had to do all the cleaning,dishes,laundry and some cooking.
Although, most of the cooking was T.V. dinners or soup and she was still so sick from chemo she could not stand the smell of food. I ate fast food when I went to see her in the hospital every night after work. She slept during the day and I waited on her hand and foot when I come home from work. That was when I was younger and healther,too.
Now, after my mascetomy in '07,chemo & radiation when I come home from work all I want to do is "flop" down on the couch and watch T.V. till bedtime! My wife is retired from work so she doesn't mind doing all the cooking,cleaning and wash. Thank God for wives! So? How do you do it?
Comments
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Hi there... welcome... all I
Hi there... welcome... all I can say.. is that life goes on... things still have to be done... do I get tired??? Yes... however.. I am a lucky one... I have a wonderful husband that is willing to help with laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping, keeping track of our children's schedules, and most important when I am not feeling well, he takes care of me.... as for me, a song from a Christmas cartoon.. one of my favorites..the words say....
"You just put one foot in front of the other"
Soon you get there.
~T0 -
Welcome-
I ditto what T said. Life does go on.
May I suggest a book that was recommended here on the boards awhile back. It's called, "There's No Place Like Hope" by Vicki Gerard. I got it at Barnes and Noble and I cannot go to bed at night without reading it.
There is hope, and if you are having a hard time finding it right now this little book will help you.
dmc0 -
I don't know about
the rest of you guys,but when I went through it a lot of the housework took a back seat,and we had a lot of really simple meals for dinner-and more often than not,my husband was the one who fixed them(especially during chemo when I didn't feel like eating anything)!And I still don't have my energy all the way back and it's been a little over a year since my treatments have been over!!I have to take several breaks just to mow a yard that should take me at most an hour to do.
So let me tip my hat to those of you who have been working and doing everything else at home while dealing with cancer-I am in awe!0 -
I read an essay years ago
I read an essay years ago called, "I want a wife" by Judy Syfers. I found it online at http://www.columbia.edu/~sss31/rainbow/wife.html0 -
How to make do
Don't worry about what all you aren't doing. The dirt will still be there a year from now. So will any other chore you can think of. If it isn't an absolute emergency, it can wait. Laying on the couch watching TV or better yet, taking a nap, is giving your body the rest it needs to get well. It is hard work to feel so rotten, so put your feet up and give it all you got! A year from now you will have to be back on your feet enjoying good health and getting to all those chores you're missing now, so enjoy your naptime now.
C. Abbott0 -
I had LOTS of family helpMarcia527 said:I read an essay years ago
I read an essay years ago called, "I want a wife" by Judy Syfers. I found it online at http://www.columbia.edu/~sss31/rainbow/wife.html
I had LOTS of family help with the kids but just couldn't wait to get back to my normal routine of work, kids, cleaning etc,. Remember it is okay to relax! Your body needs rest.
Kim0 -
Man with a mission
I have a wonderful husband who does all the cooking for me. He always made sure I had the types of food to help with nausea, and never lets me go hungry. If I needed or asked for anything, it was there immediately. Yes, the house kind of got dusty for awhile, but I didn't care. Wasn't going to worry about that stuff.
They do say a happy home is one where you can write "I Love You" in the dust.
=^..^=0 -
Hmm..how do we do it?
Well, quite frankly...I don't. My husband and grown children do it all! I just hang out and pretend that I am a bum. (Kinda enjoy the treatment!). So while you are saying "thank God for wives", I am saying "thank God for husbands!". I still feel those pangs of feeling quilty every now & then, but then I remind myself that I am spending all this time taking care of me so that I will be around to take care of my husband or children if they would ever need me to. So while you come home from work and "flop" down on the couch, I do it all day long! (ha, ha)
Pammy 0 -
Thanks Cat,cats_toy said:Man with a mission
I have a wonderful husband who does all the cooking for me. He always made sure I had the types of food to help with nausea, and never lets me go hungry. If I needed or asked for anything, it was there immediately. Yes, the house kind of got dusty for awhile, but I didn't care. Wasn't going to worry about that stuff.
They do say a happy home is one where you can write "I Love You" in the dust.
=^..^=
Now I can justify my slacking off on the dusting sometimes!0 -
Doin' it......
I haven't worked outside of the home for years now. So I am in awe of those who do.
My husband helped at first, right after surgery. But then I took over doing things here again. The only thing that I needed some help with was when there was heavy lifting.
I do the cooking, cleaning, shopping and care for the animals, although I can only toss about four bales of hay before I'm pooped!
We have two young and active grandkids that keep me busy and active. I guess they are the reason that I wanted to try and get back to "normal" as soon as possible.
I get tired. Very tired. But I guess that's to be expected. So I rest when I can.
But all in all, I don't want to give my life over to cancer. I want to live my life the way that I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE. And that means not giving in to feeling crappy....
CR0 -
Um, not always easy -CR1954 said:Doin' it......
I haven't worked outside of the home for years now. So I am in awe of those who do.
My husband helped at first, right after surgery. But then I took over doing things here again. The only thing that I needed some help with was when there was heavy lifting.
I do the cooking, cleaning, shopping and care for the animals, although I can only toss about four bales of hay before I'm pooped!
We have two young and active grandkids that keep me busy and active. I guess they are the reason that I wanted to try and get back to "normal" as soon as possible.
I get tired. Very tired. But I guess that's to be expected. So I rest when I can.
But all in all, I don't want to give my life over to cancer. I want to live my life the way that I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE. And that means not giving in to feeling crappy....
CR
but, what's the alternative. Just got to keep on keeping on! By the way, your wife has a good husband. Glad you were both able to be there for each other.
Linda0 -
I Didn't.......LOLsusie09 said:How do we do it? We suck it
How do we do it? We suck it up and do what has to be done. It is that simple.
I believe it is called "taking the bull by the horns" also. You just do it!
I didn't do sod-all! If my husband was idle enough to live like a pig.....so be it. I couldn't handle the hoover, had a nice new Dyson.....too heavy, couldn't polish or dust, couldn't stand the smell or taste of food so I didn't cook either...It was HIS turn to step up to the plate, he failed miserably.
Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
tashatasha_111 said:I Didn't.......LOL
I didn't do sod-all! If my husband was idle enough to live like a pig.....so be it. I couldn't handle the hoover, had a nice new Dyson.....too heavy, couldn't polish or dust, couldn't stand the smell or taste of food so I didn't cook either...It was HIS turn to step up to the plate, he failed miserably.
Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
tasha as long as u ok that all that matters0 -
Thanks CRCR1954 said:Doin' it......
I haven't worked outside of the home for years now. So I am in awe of those who do.
My husband helped at first, right after surgery. But then I took over doing things here again. The only thing that I needed some help with was when there was heavy lifting.
I do the cooking, cleaning, shopping and care for the animals, although I can only toss about four bales of hay before I'm pooped!
We have two young and active grandkids that keep me busy and active. I guess they are the reason that I wanted to try and get back to "normal" as soon as possible.
I get tired. Very tired. But I guess that's to be expected. So I rest when I can.
But all in all, I don't want to give my life over to cancer. I want to live my life the way that I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE. And that means not giving in to feeling crappy....
CR
FOUR BAILS OF HAY! Now you really are making me look bad! LOL I couldn't lift one right now, haven't been to the gym in 2 years now. My wife took over all the "chores" when she was feeling better,too. My responce was,"I'll let ya." She even started volunteering at our hospital these last couple of years,after she retired, because she couldn't stand NOT doing something. You women MUST have an extra GENE in your DNA that makes you do this stuff. Me, I got the "lazy" gene! I want to retire right NOW, but I'm only 56 and can't till I'm 62,if then! So it's,"Off to work I go!" without the "HI HO,HI HO!" It's more like,"Oh no,oh no, Not again!" Can't I call in sick till I retire? LOL! My wife said,"NO!"
"Thanks" again,ladies for your input. I'm sure your husbands can"t wait for "you all" to get "back to normal",too! I thought that was all I wanted,too. Now I'm not so sure. I'll never be "back" to normal and I'm still not too sure of the "NEW" normel, yet.
Well, gotta go, it's time for Church. My wife likes going. Me? Not so much, but it makes her happy. Oh, the sacrifices us men make for you women! LOL!
Lots of ((HUGS)) Robert0 -
Tashatasha_111 said:I Didn't.......LOL
I didn't do sod-all! If my husband was idle enough to live like a pig.....so be it. I couldn't handle the hoover, had a nice new Dyson.....too heavy, couldn't polish or dust, couldn't stand the smell or taste of food so I didn't cook either...It was HIS turn to step up to the plate, he failed miserably.
Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I just love your accent! I,too, am a "daft-sod"(hope I got that right?). I also failed when I was "up to bat". Good thing she was too "out of it" to notice then.LOL It's not in our makeup to be "housewives", we're "hunter/gathers". Just let us go "KILL" something. We are just like the cat that kills a mouse then brings it back and drops it at you feet as to say,"Look what I did!" for some attension! LOL HUGS to all.
Robert0 -
Robert!ManWithaMission said:Tasha
I just love your accent! I,too, am a "daft-sod"(hope I got that right?). I also failed when I was "up to bat". Good thing she was too "out of it" to notice then.LOL It's not in our makeup to be "housewives", we're "hunter/gathers". Just let us go "KILL" something. We are just like the cat that kills a mouse then brings it back and drops it at you feet as to say,"Look what I did!" for some attension! LOL HUGS to all.
Robert
You bring me a mouse, dead or alive.........You'll get the same from me as you would from your wife!
However, If you were to bring me a snake or a spider........bring your web-cam.....post it on U-tube........Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Freak-Out scenario extrodinaire!!!!!!!!!
I welcome you and Mrs. to the Daft Sod Club.........Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
i unfortunatly no longer
i unfortunatly no longer have a husband that can step up and help me. I think you are wonderful for being there and doing the best you can to help out. Im thankful that i got three beautiful children and they have been my saviors and have helped me thru all of it so far. I cant help but feel guily that my young children have to help, but they just did it like it was all natural for them. Family bond is so strong and its amazing what we learn from each other and do everything we can to help.0 -
Nice to meet you, ManWithaMission!
We just do what we can, when and how we can. With some help, hopefully. And, priorities often get shifted. That's it, not so amazing, really. Nevertheless, thanks for your kind words.
After working all day, all week long, if you can simply "flop" afterwards - good for you!
I hope you visit again and often.0
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