Jun 26, 2009 - 9:45 pm
CHEMO BRAIN PAST AND PRESENT
For those of you who do not know me I am 52 years old and have been fighting cancer since 1997, during which time I have had a total of 28 rounds of chemotherapy. I have heard a lot about “chemo brain” (memory problems, difficulty concentrating, trouble putting your thoughts into words etc). I know that while I was in treatment I had difficulty with chemo brain and it could be quite frustrating. To help combat this I kept a note book that I would jot things down in as reminders which was actually quite helpful. Eight year’s passed without cancer, until 2007 when it returned and I had to have 4 more rounds of chemotherapy. That said let me tell you that I still have what seems similar if not the same as chemo brain, my husband always tells me its just an age thing and has nothing to do with chemo (good thing I love this man, hmmm). Anyway, I was kind of buying this idea that age was my problem and not chemo related problems until last night. You see last night my husband turned on an old movie he had T-Voed for me that had Tommy Lee Jones in it (he knows I like Tommy Lee Jones). I settled in to watch it and was totally enjoying the show when he asked me if we had seen it before. I NEVER forget a movie I have seen before, often times I can tell you if we have seen it just a few moments into the show, we were two thirds of the way through it when he posed his question. I told him no, it was not one we had ever seen before and I went back to enjoying the show. Soon I noticed a perplexed look on his face, he asked me do you recall that scene, I did not. He seemed sure we had seen it……it then dawned on me and I asked him what year did the movie come out. It came out in 98, in 98 I was in the midst of enduring 18 harsh chemo treatments for stage 4 breast cancer along with 16 weeks of radiation treatments. I was stunned when I came to the realization that I have lost all memory of ever viewing this movie….what other memories have been lost, this is quite unsettling to me. I no longer believe that my lapses of memory or my inability to voice the words in my mind are “old age” at 52 (thank you hubby :-) ) I am now more convinced than ever that it is a result of my treatments.