Jun 19, 2009 - 11:22 pm
I'm 22 and single mom of a 2 year old. was diagnosed Oct. 2008 and had 2 surgeries and RAI treatment done by Feb 2009.... my biggest fear in Feb..... that I would have to spend my son's birthday in seclusion away from him while I sat alone and radioactive.
it's now June 2009... 8 months since I was diagnosed.... I've gained roughly... 30 pounds since all this started.... and wasn't necesarily at the best weight to be gaining in the first place.
I've already got so much going on aside of the cacner thing... that when I was diagnosed it gave me the final push to find a counselor.... who of course.... tells me not to talk about anything that's bothering me because she 'doesn't want to stress me out'
My endocrinologist wouldn't listen to me when I told her I felt hypothyroid come to find out 2 months after I told her and was ignored.... I WAS hypothyroid.... everytime I told her... she asked if I was seeing a counselor... uh.... yea... but.... what about my hormones.... then she eventually told me to look into anti-depressants.
Nobody around me can handle talking to me about cancer or how I feel about it because "It's an upsetting topic" I guess your true friends really show through then huh?
I've looked into support groups in my area... but they're all either on weekends or weekdays late at night. (none with childcare provided) No matter how hard I look I can not find one that is at least on a weekday during work hours... or on weekends or week nights that does provide chilcare. The childcare center I use closes at 7pm... most of the groups I've seen on weekday nights start at around 7 pm.
I guess I already was stressed out and depressed and having a hard time with everything else that I'm dealing with right now aside from the cancer.... then the cancer was added to it... I feel like I'm doomed. like the hope of actually feeling happy again was beaten out of me... I feel like a completely differet person and I hate it!!! And don't even try to tell the doctors you feel ilke that.... "But you should be happy because you've got the best cancer there is to have... you're the lucky one!" ..... Lord help me..... if my endo tells me that one more time.....!
Thanks for listening....