Newbie here

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Fight for my love
Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I am the newbie here in this board.I am so lucky to find this board.I registered for my husband.Our case is a kind of different.I am asian,right after I arrived the U.S for a month,my husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer.It was big shock to both of us.Since I just arrived the U.S, everything is new to me, English is my second language,although I have been speeking English with my husband for years, I found out very quickly that I am not used to other people's accents, I also found out everybody has their own way to express themself,so I am having a hard time on listening.And I think all these medical words are new to everybody when they are first dianosed, I am just trying very hard to learn all these medical words.Second of all, since I just arrived the U.S, I don't have a driver licence, and I also need a SSN before I go to DMV, but my ajustment of status is still pending, so I can't drive.This is my biggest worry.I don't know my way around and I can't drive,and we don't know any friends and we don't have relatives here since we are both new to this area.But we still stay strong and we will fight this battle together.I am sure the members here will give me some suggestions and ideas.Thank you very much.

Comments

  • bdee
    bdee Member Posts: 304
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    Welcome
    I would like to welcome you to this board. I'm kind of new on the board too and this is the one and only board I've ever been apart of. Somebody always has an answer to my questions, so just hang in there and I bet someone will help. Question though, where do you live?
    Debbie
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    bdee said:

    Welcome
    I would like to welcome you to this board. I'm kind of new on the board too and this is the one and only board I've ever been apart of. Somebody always has an answer to my questions, so just hang in there and I bet someone will help. Question though, where do you live?
    Debbie

    We live in Manchester,New hampshire.Thanks a lot.
    We live in Manchester,New hampshire.Thanks a lot.
  • Unknown
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    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    Welcome!
    I can sympathized....I live parttime in Holland, and don't speak the language very well. I just attempt it with a smile, and ask people to slow down and speak clearly. That said, the medical terms that go along with this battle is enough to have even we 'english as a first language' puzzled.

    Call 1-800-227-2345, the American Cancer Society. There are programs that can help with transportation for your hubby.

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Hi babs 211,thank you very
    Hi babs 211,thank you very much. I will not feel shy to ask questions. I am just hoping that we will conquer all the difficulties one step at a time and finally we will win. My husband worries a lot about his job because nobody wants to lose job for making a living,but I told my husband that people can lose job at anytime for any reasons, for the time being, health is the most important thing,we need to take care of our health.I am happy to have you in this board in New England area.
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    KathiM said:

    Welcome!
    I can sympathized....I live parttime in Holland, and don't speak the language very well. I just attempt it with a smile, and ask people to slow down and speak clearly. That said, the medical terms that go along with this battle is enough to have even we 'english as a first language' puzzled.

    Call 1-800-227-2345, the American Cancer Society. There are programs that can help with transportation for your hubby.

    Hugs, Kathi

    Thank you very much,Kathim.
    Thank you very much,Kathim. I've ever tried the ACS phone No.,but I couldn't get through.I will try again later.Thanks a lot.
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
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    Thank you very much,Kathim.
    Thank you very much,Kathim. I've ever tried the ACS phone No.,but I couldn't get through.I will try again later.Thanks a lot.

    I was just...
    ...going to mention to call the American Cancer Society, they have patient navigators which will help you with wigs, transportation, and anything you need. I can understand about working, I had to quit my job, a job that I just started after graduating with an Associates Degree, and then I was dx'd. You'll soon learn the lingo here, I wish I knew another language, it's nice your hubby has you as his lovegiver, and I wish him luck on his journey with us, welcome to the board, and come ask anything, we're here for you both!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    Shayenne said:

    I was just...
    ...going to mention to call the American Cancer Society, they have patient navigators which will help you with wigs, transportation, and anything you need. I can understand about working, I had to quit my job, a job that I just started after graduating with an Associates Degree, and then I was dx'd. You'll soon learn the lingo here, I wish I knew another language, it's nice your hubby has you as his lovegiver, and I wish him luck on his journey with us, welcome to the board, and come ask anything, we're here for you both!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna

    Thank you Donna. We wish you
    Thank you Donna. We wish you luck on your journey too.Lot of Thanks to everybody here!
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876 Member
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    Welcome
    I'm so sorry you had to find us, but this board will help you a lot! Most of the time someone has an answer or a good suggestion when you have a question. You can also come here just to express yourself and how you are feeling. Your English is very good, so don't feel self-conscious about anything. Medical terms are hard for most of us at first, but you will get those, too! I understand about the red tape and paperwork, but perhaps they can expedite things for you since you have this medical situation now. I would definitely call them and ask if there is any way to speed things up so you can handle things quickly. Meanwhile, just know that you can come here any time and we will listen and help in any way we can.

    God bless,
    Kirsten
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    kmygil said:

    Welcome
    I'm so sorry you had to find us, but this board will help you a lot! Most of the time someone has an answer or a good suggestion when you have a question. You can also come here just to express yourself and how you are feeling. Your English is very good, so don't feel self-conscious about anything. Medical terms are hard for most of us at first, but you will get those, too! I understand about the red tape and paperwork, but perhaps they can expedite things for you since you have this medical situation now. I would definitely call them and ask if there is any way to speed things up so you can handle things quickly. Meanwhile, just know that you can come here any time and we will listen and help in any way we can.

    God bless,
    Kirsten

    Thank you Kirsten.You are
    Thank you Kirsten.You are right,since my husband got sick,I started to learn all these medical words very quickly.We went to the Elliot cancer center, people there are very nice and kind, they gave us some books for free,I am reading all these books super hard.I believe knowledge is powerful,the more we know about it,the better we prepare.Anyway thanks a lot for all of you. Both my hubby and I appreciate your comments and answers!
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Welcome
    Welcome to the board. I'm sorry about your husband's diagnosis. I'm sure it's scary for both of you.

    If you have questions about any of the medical words, post your questions, and hopefully someone can help you.

    You might see if you can find a local church that can help you some as you try to take care of your husband and learn about life in the US at the same time.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    tootsie1 said:

    Welcome
    Welcome to the board. I'm sorry about your husband's diagnosis. I'm sure it's scary for both of you.

    If you have questions about any of the medical words, post your questions, and hopefully someone can help you.

    You might see if you can find a local church that can help you some as you try to take care of your husband and learn about life in the US at the same time.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Thank you very much,Gail.I
    Thank you very much,Gail.I have been reading some books that suggest about looking for help from local church.But I just arrived the U.S, so I really don't know anything about church since when I was in Asia our government never encouraged people to believe religion.If I really need to go church and ask help,which church should I go to? and whom should I ask help from in the church? and I am not a member of the church,will they still help me? I have too much to learn about life in the U.S.Lots of thanks to you again.
  • hannacat
    hannacat Member Posts: 101
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    Hi,Newbie, I will think about your problem and see if I can help. In the meantime maybe you could look in the telephone book for Asian Markets or Restaurants,or perhaps nail salons. The people there may be able to offer some support. If you went to shop or eat it might give you an opportunity to meet the Asian community in or around Manchester. America has many small (and large) areas of Asian peoples,and I have found all to be generous with their help. I have friends from Japan and have a grandaughter from China.

    The problems with driving and living here will be solved in time. Your husband will find good medical care here.

    I will follow your writings and you can write me at Hannacat.

    Best wishes,Hanna
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    hannacat said:

    Hi,Newbie, I will think about your problem and see if I can help. In the meantime maybe you could look in the telephone book for Asian Markets or Restaurants,or perhaps nail salons. The people there may be able to offer some support. If you went to shop or eat it might give you an opportunity to meet the Asian community in or around Manchester. America has many small (and large) areas of Asian peoples,and I have found all to be generous with their help. I have friends from Japan and have a grandaughter from China.

    The problems with driving and living here will be solved in time. Your husband will find good medical care here.

    I will follow your writings and you can write me at Hannacat.

    Best wishes,Hanna

    Hi Hanna,
    Thank you very

    Hi Hanna,

    Thank you very much for your suggestion.I knew that we have very limited number of asian in Manchester.I tried once in a Chinese restaurant to ask the Chinese girl who is the waitress there to see if she knows any other Chinese people or Chinese association,but unfortunately she doesn't know either.She said there are more Chinese in Massachusetts,but you know, for the time being it's not very realistic for me to go to that far for looking for help.My hubby's radiation and chemo haven't started yet,and the following Tuesday we will go to the Catholic medical center to see the oncologist,by then I will see if I can meet any other social workers there or ask the nurse to provide me more information.I think at the worst case, we will have to take Taxi,although it's expensive to us, but if this is only way that we can make it,then we have to take it.Anyway thanks a lot for your help.This forum really inspires me a lot.All my life experience was just back in China in college, and graduate school.I am a kind of dumb because I never had a real life experince,and I was so shocked and I am still shocked because this happened too quickly without any expectation,and my world is totally upside down.But once I hit to this forum,I found myself inspired and encouraged.Thanks for all of you.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
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    Welcome
    Welcome to the message boards. You sound like a very devoted and loving wife who is dedicated to helping your husband in any way you can. That in itself can be very draining on you plus being in a new location. This board can help with many aspects of most situations. Please feel free to ask away and also to let us know if you have news of joy or tears to share.

    Wishing you and your husband the best.

    Let us know how you are both doing.

    Kim
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
    Options

    Welcome
    Welcome to the message boards. You sound like a very devoted and loving wife who is dedicated to helping your husband in any way you can. That in itself can be very draining on you plus being in a new location. This board can help with many aspects of most situations. Please feel free to ask away and also to let us know if you have news of joy or tears to share.

    Wishing you and your husband the best.

    Let us know how you are both doing.

    Kim

    Thank you,Kim.You are such a
    Thank you,Kim.You are such a sweet lady(I guess you are a lady from your icon).My husband used to work in Asia, and we have know each other for seven years,married one year and a half,but I was in China waiting for the immigration visa for 12 months while my husband had to be here by himself.We just got reunited,and then this happened.But I told my husband that this is just a detour in our life,we are still young,and we will get over of it,and I won't love you less just because you are ill and I will always take care of you no matter what.But my hubby is a kind of sad,he said that he is supposed to take care of me since I just arrived here and everything is so new and strange to me.My hubby's words made me cry,because he is ill already but he is still worrying about me.And I cry everyday all these days because I keep asking myself what I can do more for my husband,for my love.I feel very despair.I lost 5b in a week.What I am doing everyday is just consistently reading all the information about nutrition,caring,cooking,and side effects handing,and so on.I wish I could do more for my hubby.Anyway thanks a lot for all of you.
  • peterhw
    peterhw Member Posts: 69
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    Welcome newbie 歡迎
    Hi there,

    If I can help please let me know. I am fighting stage 4 rectal cancer with mets to liver and lung. Just finished my 19th chemo, going to the #20 in a couple days. I do speak Chinese and have a Chinese blog about my cancer journey. Here is the link
    http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/hsiminwu/



    Peter
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
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    peterhw said:

    Welcome newbie 歡迎
    Hi there,

    If I can help please let me know. I am fighting stage 4 rectal cancer with mets to liver and lung. Just finished my 19th chemo, going to the #20 in a couple days. I do speak Chinese and have a Chinese blog about my cancer journey. Here is the link
    http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/hsiminwu/



    Peter

    Thanks a lot,Peter.This is a
    Thanks a lot,Peter.This is a small world,I can even find Chinese here!This is great!I can see you are very strong and you are winning this battle.Anyway good luck with the rest of the journey.Keep in touch!Thanks for the link of your blog.