physical and emotional scars
Comments
-
Ok, my experience is different in that I'll not be 'done' with treatment. I'm 22mos in, still in treatment. I did have a colostomy takedown. That was by far the worst recovery I've ever experienced. About 4 or 5 weeks out, I was ready to go back in to get my colostomy back. No kidding. It took me 2 1/2 months to be able to leave my house. I HATED it and it messes with your head and your mood.
Physical scars are different. At first they were tough (I've had 3 open surgeries and 2 lap surgeries since dx). I would look at my abdomen and it would remind me that I'm 'sick'. Now, it reminds me of victory. These are the story lines of my life. I embrace them. I have one doc that checks my abdomen every appt and comments on my scars every time so it must be worse than most. I don't really have a comparison.
In my experience, as I overcame the above it helped me overcome the emotional stuff. We all have bad days; that's ok. I set a time limit. "I'll lie in bed, eat chocolate and watch trash tv today. Tomorrow, I'm up and taking my mom to lunch." Bargain with yourself. The pity party can be useful but can't linger on forever. Set a time limit. Going for a walk helps in an amazing way.
My very best advice is to start a gratitude journal. I started many years ago (14?) and continue with it now. Every night before bed I write at least 5 things that I'm grateful for that day. Somedays it's big stuff. Many days it's little things - the sunshine, my son called home from college, a particular song that gave me a moment of joy. Anything you can think of. The magic comes after the first couple of days when you spend your whole day looking for things you'll write about that night. If you spend your day looking for moments of joy, that is what you find. Simple but amazing.
HTH,
Kimby0 -
That....kimby said:Ok, my experience is different in that I'll not be 'done' with treatment. I'm 22mos in, still in treatment. I did have a colostomy takedown. That was by far the worst recovery I've ever experienced. About 4 or 5 weeks out, I was ready to go back in to get my colostomy back. No kidding. It took me 2 1/2 months to be able to leave my house. I HATED it and it messes with your head and your mood.
Physical scars are different. At first they were tough (I've had 3 open surgeries and 2 lap surgeries since dx). I would look at my abdomen and it would remind me that I'm 'sick'. Now, it reminds me of victory. These are the story lines of my life. I embrace them. I have one doc that checks my abdomen every appt and comments on my scars every time so it must be worse than most. I don't really have a comparison.
In my experience, as I overcame the above it helped me overcome the emotional stuff. We all have bad days; that's ok. I set a time limit. "I'll lie in bed, eat chocolate and watch trash tv today. Tomorrow, I'm up and taking my mom to lunch." Bargain with yourself. The pity party can be useful but can't linger on forever. Set a time limit. Going for a walk helps in an amazing way.
My very best advice is to start a gratitude journal. I started many years ago (14?) and continue with it now. Every night before bed I write at least 5 things that I'm grateful for that day. Somedays it's big stuff. Many days it's little things - the sunshine, my son called home from college, a particular song that gave me a moment of joy. Anything you can think of. The magic comes after the first couple of days when you spend your whole day looking for things you'll write about that night. If you spend your day looking for moments of joy, that is what you find. Simple but amazing.
HTH,
Kimby
...was beautifully said Kimby!
Hugggssss!
~Donna0 -
no gratitiudekimby said:Ok, my experience is different in that I'll not be 'done' with treatment. I'm 22mos in, still in treatment. I did have a colostomy takedown. That was by far the worst recovery I've ever experienced. About 4 or 5 weeks out, I was ready to go back in to get my colostomy back. No kidding. It took me 2 1/2 months to be able to leave my house. I HATED it and it messes with your head and your mood.
Physical scars are different. At first they were tough (I've had 3 open surgeries and 2 lap surgeries since dx). I would look at my abdomen and it would remind me that I'm 'sick'. Now, it reminds me of victory. These are the story lines of my life. I embrace them. I have one doc that checks my abdomen every appt and comments on my scars every time so it must be worse than most. I don't really have a comparison.
In my experience, as I overcame the above it helped me overcome the emotional stuff. We all have bad days; that's ok. I set a time limit. "I'll lie in bed, eat chocolate and watch trash tv today. Tomorrow, I'm up and taking my mom to lunch." Bargain with yourself. The pity party can be useful but can't linger on forever. Set a time limit. Going for a walk helps in an amazing way.
My very best advice is to start a gratitude journal. I started many years ago (14?) and continue with it now. Every night before bed I write at least 5 things that I'm grateful for that day. Somedays it's big stuff. Many days it's little things - the sunshine, my son called home from college, a particular song that gave me a moment of joy. Anything you can think of. The magic comes after the first couple of days when you spend your whole day looking for things you'll write about that night. If you spend your day looking for moments of joy, that is what you find. Simple but amazing.
HTH,
Kimby
I just want the old me the bodybuilder back. Today I am still very bitter about the scars, my surgeon acts like it's no big deal. People have plastic surgery to make them look younger and better. What about surgery for us cancer patients who've feel mamed?0 -
Old selftiny one said:no gratitiude
I just want the old me the bodybuilder back. Today I am still very bitter about the scars, my surgeon acts like it's no big deal. People have plastic surgery to make them look younger and better. What about surgery for us cancer patients who've feel mamed?
You have to remember that you AREN'T the same person. You never will be the same again. You need to get to know yourself; I think you'll like you.
We do. You have new limitations. As frustrating as that is right now, it is reality. You may get back to body builder status one day. You may not. canzer has taken enough from you, don't give it anymore. Learn to know and love who you are now. You are a survivor. Be proud. You now have superhero status!
Kimby0 -
Tiny One........tiny one said:no gratitiude
I just want the old me the bodybuilder back. Today I am still very bitter about the scars, my surgeon acts like it's no big deal. People have plastic surgery to make them look younger and better. What about surgery for us cancer patients who've feel mamed?
You know what I take from a woman that has scars...It tells me that whatever she has been through to get them that she has perservered from it and came out on top. To continue is to show a strength of that woman. If your a bodybuilder then you know the meaning of no pain no gain...To sum that up into a different perspective is to say the inside strength of a person dictates what the outside appears as..You have to take what is given and make it work to aid you instead of hurt you.
You have scars...ok...I have my tail sewn shut...Now tell me "How sexy is that?" To me its not at all but I do know that for every year I get a colonoscopy my butt won't be raw because of the prep I do beforehand...So, I am using a bad outcome in a positive aspect...Its odd but it works for me...Its my way of getting through the emotional aspect of this disease and the by products of it. It is not disfigurement that we have. Its a means of showing us that we have the strength to rise above it which shows our ability to survive and prosper and finally become satisfied with who we are.....Tiny One, your alive, you didn't stay that way by being weak...You have the strength that tells me you are a winner, a fighter, a warrior. Take the pride that comes with being that alone and hold your head up and live with what life throws at you. You have already shown the strength to do that just by survival of this disease. Do as I do...everyonce in a while kick a trashcan, that always makes me feel better, and then be proud of who you are and what you have achieved for yourself.....0 -
Scars ???
I consider my scars, war wounds which states, I WON THE WAR!!!! They are not pretty and I no longer have my flat, hard abs, but I would rather have the wounds than the beast.
Yes, I have considerd the possibility of plastic surgery to cover up my large stomach scar and my ostomy scar, but than I realize, it's not that bad to have battle wounds. Look at all our vets and military personnel.
I have even considered taking a picture of my scars and posting on my page.0 -
I know....unknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
...I sometimes look at my big scar, and ostomy bag, and think, this is terrible, but I know what could have been worse, I turn my mind on something else to focus, like my beautiful children, I'll tell you, with this incision scar on my abdomen, it's alittle deep still, but my kids make me laugh when they say my stomach looks like my buttcheeks LOL....0 -
Life Goes On...So Keep Living!
Tiny One,
I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are still in the midst of the grief process - it's normal and it's natural. The key is to not get too firmly rooted there.
It's not uncommon at some point after treatment ends that folks will travel through a blue mood period. During cancer treatment patients have to be so focused on fighting the cancer there is little time or energy to think about life after cancer. Sometimes just getting through a chemo treatment, a test, or a procedure, from one day to the next, is all a cancer patient can think about. And that is the best way....one day at a time....while in treatment or shortly thereafter. Life after cancer though, is a big open highway of possibilities and it can be overwhelming.
Now here you are, long finished with treatments, and faced with moving on with life with a different body. Life after cancer. The key word here is LIFE!!!
It is hard to look in the mirror and see the changes that cancer foists upon us, but change is inevitable, regardless of cancer and scars, or not.
I have ten scars on the front of my torso. They are not pretty, but they remind me that I'm alive and I have survived one of the scariest things - cancer. Perhaps all you need to do is look at your scars in a different way. Instead of seeing them as reminders of what you no longer have, let them remind you of what you do have = a beautiful body that right now is cancer free, and in spite of the changes that cancer left you with, it's a body that gives you the ability to enjoy the opportunity and possibility of living each new day.
You need to decide if you survived cancer to spend everyday mourning what you've lost, or if you survived cancer to keep living and moving forward with appreciation and a desire to be happy. It really is a choice! Is your glass half empty or is it half full? It's all a matter of how you choose to examine your own life. Journal writing can sometimes help folks like us sort these things out. Truly though, if you cannot move out of your grief, you might consider speaking with a grief counselor, who has experience treating people with illnesses such as cancer.
Sending you many blessing of hope, healing, good health and self-acceptance.
Something to cheer you up! Click on the link below:
I Can See Clearly Now!0 -
I have the scares andusakat said:Life Goes On...So Keep Living!
Tiny One,
I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are still in the midst of the grief process - it's normal and it's natural. The key is to not get too firmly rooted there.
It's not uncommon at some point after treatment ends that folks will travel through a blue mood period. During cancer treatment patients have to be so focused on fighting the cancer there is little time or energy to think about life after cancer. Sometimes just getting through a chemo treatment, a test, or a procedure, from one day to the next, is all a cancer patient can think about. And that is the best way....one day at a time....while in treatment or shortly thereafter. Life after cancer though, is a big open highway of possibilities and it can be overwhelming.
Now here you are, long finished with treatments, and faced with moving on with life with a different body. Life after cancer. The key word here is LIFE!!!
It is hard to look in the mirror and see the changes that cancer foists upon us, but change is inevitable, regardless of cancer and scars, or not.
I have ten scars on the front of my torso. They are not pretty, but they remind me that I'm alive and I have survived one of the scariest things - cancer. Perhaps all you need to do is look at your scars in a different way. Instead of seeing them as reminders of what you no longer have, let them remind you of what you do have = a beautiful body that right now is cancer free, and in spite of the changes that cancer left you with, it's a body that gives you the ability to enjoy the opportunity and possibility of living each new day.
You need to decide if you survived cancer to spend everyday mourning what you've lost, or if you survived cancer to keep living and moving forward with appreciation and a desire to be happy. It really is a choice! Is your glass half empty or is it half full? It's all a matter of how you choose to examine your own life. Journal writing can sometimes help folks like us sort these things out. Truly though, if you cannot move out of your grief, you might consider speaking with a grief counselor, who has experience treating people with illnesses such as cancer.
Sending you many blessing of hope, healing, good health and self-acceptance.
Something to cheer you up! Click on the link below:
I Can See Clearly Now!
I have the scares and permanent ostomy bag only 7 weeks old and I am
still dealing with it then I have to learn to live with it I do not like
my stoma and bag but I will learn to accept it this surgery saved my life
and this is what keeps me going I hear from other people it will get easier.
Sorry to hijack your post didn't mean to but I know how you feel.0 -
I can understand
I had surgery 5 years ago and before I had it, I had gotten into very good shape only to have scars along my liver, belly button and area south, both sides of my chest for lung operations and along my back for another lung operation. I also herniated my abdominal wall by lifting something too soon after my initial operation so I have a half hump in my stomach. At the beach it's...interesting. I get a lot of stares. I am waiting for a kid to ask what happened so I can say "shark attack, right over there". I was in the best shape of my life probably at age 46 then, bam. Franken-body. But, I am alive and it's only scars. I've also spent more time on the 'throne' in the past 5 years than I have up until then. I have gotten a lot of reading done though so it's not all bad.
Oh, and the Erbitux give me a rash on my face like a 16 year olds after eating chocolate. Zit city...
We all want to look good but I'd rather look alive.
I think the pain from bathroom issues could get better over time.
I hope they do for you T1
-phil0 -
Scars
Believe me, in more time the scars will fade more and more, I also went to physical rehab and they taught me how to properly exercise my abdomin and do scar massage, where my ostomy was reversed was a BIG raised scar area, with massage this has gone flat, and it also helps keep the scar tissue from tearing and hurting so much. It is going on 5 years now for me, and the scars keep fading more and more, now if I could get rid of the belly fat I've gained, I don't think the scarring would look too bad at all, and believe me, they were big long, ugly, crooked scars. My doctor always says they remind him of Chinese characters, ha ha. Anger has been a good tool for me, if it makes you take some positive action it can be helpful, such as learning scar massage and the proper exercises for your abdomin after extensive surgery, if you are angry all the time and take no action, this will eat you up. I hope you can take some positive action to help lift yourself up. Wishing you the best!
Pam0 -
usakatusakat said:Life Goes On...So Keep Living!
Tiny One,
I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are still in the midst of the grief process - it's normal and it's natural. The key is to not get too firmly rooted there.
It's not uncommon at some point after treatment ends that folks will travel through a blue mood period. During cancer treatment patients have to be so focused on fighting the cancer there is little time or energy to think about life after cancer. Sometimes just getting through a chemo treatment, a test, or a procedure, from one day to the next, is all a cancer patient can think about. And that is the best way....one day at a time....while in treatment or shortly thereafter. Life after cancer though, is a big open highway of possibilities and it can be overwhelming.
Now here you are, long finished with treatments, and faced with moving on with life with a different body. Life after cancer. The key word here is LIFE!!!
It is hard to look in the mirror and see the changes that cancer foists upon us, but change is inevitable, regardless of cancer and scars, or not.
I have ten scars on the front of my torso. They are not pretty, but they remind me that I'm alive and I have survived one of the scariest things - cancer. Perhaps all you need to do is look at your scars in a different way. Instead of seeing them as reminders of what you no longer have, let them remind you of what you do have = a beautiful body that right now is cancer free, and in spite of the changes that cancer left you with, it's a body that gives you the ability to enjoy the opportunity and possibility of living each new day.
You need to decide if you survived cancer to spend everyday mourning what you've lost, or if you survived cancer to keep living and moving forward with appreciation and a desire to be happy. It really is a choice! Is your glass half empty or is it half full? It's all a matter of how you choose to examine your own life. Journal writing can sometimes help folks like us sort these things out. Truly though, if you cannot move out of your grief, you might consider speaking with a grief counselor, who has experience treating people with illnesses such as cancer.
Sending you many blessing of hope, healing, good health and self-acceptance.
Something to cheer you up! Click on the link below:
I Can See Clearly Now!
I just have to ask, are all 3 pictures you? That is just a wonderful picture. And I Can See Clearly Now has always been one of my favorite songs since Johnny Nash came out with it in--was it late sixties, early seventies? If all three pictures are you, how in the world did you ever find three poses so alike, just great!
Pam0 -
Kimbykimby said:Ok, my experience is different in that I'll not be 'done' with treatment. I'm 22mos in, still in treatment. I did have a colostomy takedown. That was by far the worst recovery I've ever experienced. About 4 or 5 weeks out, I was ready to go back in to get my colostomy back. No kidding. It took me 2 1/2 months to be able to leave my house. I HATED it and it messes with your head and your mood.
Physical scars are different. At first they were tough (I've had 3 open surgeries and 2 lap surgeries since dx). I would look at my abdomen and it would remind me that I'm 'sick'. Now, it reminds me of victory. These are the story lines of my life. I embrace them. I have one doc that checks my abdomen every appt and comments on my scars every time so it must be worse than most. I don't really have a comparison.
In my experience, as I overcame the above it helped me overcome the emotional stuff. We all have bad days; that's ok. I set a time limit. "I'll lie in bed, eat chocolate and watch trash tv today. Tomorrow, I'm up and taking my mom to lunch." Bargain with yourself. The pity party can be useful but can't linger on forever. Set a time limit. Going for a walk helps in an amazing way.
My very best advice is to start a gratitude journal. I started many years ago (14?) and continue with it now. Every night before bed I write at least 5 things that I'm grateful for that day. Somedays it's big stuff. Many days it's little things - the sunshine, my son called home from college, a particular song that gave me a moment of joy. Anything you can think of. The magic comes after the first couple of days when you spend your whole day looking for things you'll write about that night. If you spend your day looking for moments of joy, that is what you find. Simple but amazing.
HTH,
Kimby
You are such an amazing person. You have such an attitude that I admire tremendously. I know from reading your struggles that you have journeyed on through all of it. We, or I should say, should be so courageous, but I'm trying very hard.
Thank you for your wonderful commitment to this board.
Hugs!
Kim0 -
with you
I'm so with you, Tiny. If this goes on any longer, i am going to demand another ostomy. I feel butchered and irrepairably maimed.0 -
Scars and Being ProudBuzzard said:Tiny One........
You know what I take from a woman that has scars...It tells me that whatever she has been through to get them that she has perservered from it and came out on top. To continue is to show a strength of that woman. If your a bodybuilder then you know the meaning of no pain no gain...To sum that up into a different perspective is to say the inside strength of a person dictates what the outside appears as..You have to take what is given and make it work to aid you instead of hurt you.
You have scars...ok...I have my tail sewn shut...Now tell me "How sexy is that?" To me its not at all but I do know that for every year I get a colonoscopy my butt won't be raw because of the prep I do beforehand...So, I am using a bad outcome in a positive aspect...Its odd but it works for me...Its my way of getting through the emotional aspect of this disease and the by products of it. It is not disfigurement that we have. Its a means of showing us that we have the strength to rise above it which shows our ability to survive and prosper and finally become satisfied with who we are.....Tiny One, your alive, you didn't stay that way by being weak...You have the strength that tells me you are a winner, a fighter, a warrior. Take the pride that comes with being that alone and hold your head up and live with what life throws at you. You have already shown the strength to do that just by survival of this disease. Do as I do...everyonce in a while kick a trashcan, that always makes me feel better, and then be proud of who you are and what you have achieved for yourself.....
I think that we should all be proud of ourselves and our scars! We have gone thru, and are going thru a horrendous experience. Sure we all have bathroom issues plus more, but we learn to deal with it. Everytime I shower or see myself naked, and look at my scar, I don't look at it as something awful. I look at it and say to myself you did it, and if need be I would be able to do it again, because I'm strong. I've always thought of myself as being a strong person, but I don't think I ever realized just how strong till cancer entered my life. I remember after my first chemo telling my onc that I couldn't do it and if that was what it was going to be like, she should just shoot me!!Everyday when I look in the mirror and I see the scar from my port,I think back to the day I had it put in and I can laugh at myself now. I was a total basket case that day, I was just so nervous thinking I have to do 6months of chemo. To me that seemed like forever, but looking back now that it's done it went by fast.
I realize now that this experience changed me for the better.It made me realize I can do anything, I look at things differently, I'm a much better person because of cancer.I don't look at it as why me,I think there was a reason for it, although I don't know what it is.
I agree with Buzzard,try to look at it as something positive, and yeah every once in a while if need be kick a trashcan, then move on and realize that if you can do cancer, you can do anything!!!!0 -
shoppergalshoppergal said:Scars and Being Proud
I think that we should all be proud of ourselves and our scars! We have gone thru, and are going thru a horrendous experience. Sure we all have bathroom issues plus more, but we learn to deal with it. Everytime I shower or see myself naked, and look at my scar, I don't look at it as something awful. I look at it and say to myself you did it, and if need be I would be able to do it again, because I'm strong. I've always thought of myself as being a strong person, but I don't think I ever realized just how strong till cancer entered my life. I remember after my first chemo telling my onc that I couldn't do it and if that was what it was going to be like, she should just shoot me!!Everyday when I look in the mirror and I see the scar from my port,I think back to the day I had it put in and I can laugh at myself now. I was a total basket case that day, I was just so nervous thinking I have to do 6months of chemo. To me that seemed like forever, but looking back now that it's done it went by fast.
I realize now that this experience changed me for the better.It made me realize I can do anything, I look at things differently, I'm a much better person because of cancer.I don't look at it as why me,I think there was a reason for it, although I don't know what it is.
I agree with Buzzard,try to look at it as something positive, and yeah every once in a while if need be kick a trashcan, then move on and realize that if you can do cancer, you can do anything!!!!
What a wonderfully eloquent post. This really needs to me a separate thread or a blog entry.
Beautifully said. Thank you.
Kimby0 -
I Can See Clearly Nowusakat said:Life Goes On...So Keep Living!
Tiny One,
I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are still in the midst of the grief process - it's normal and it's natural. The key is to not get too firmly rooted there.
It's not uncommon at some point after treatment ends that folks will travel through a blue mood period. During cancer treatment patients have to be so focused on fighting the cancer there is little time or energy to think about life after cancer. Sometimes just getting through a chemo treatment, a test, or a procedure, from one day to the next, is all a cancer patient can think about. And that is the best way....one day at a time....while in treatment or shortly thereafter. Life after cancer though, is a big open highway of possibilities and it can be overwhelming.
Now here you are, long finished with treatments, and faced with moving on with life with a different body. Life after cancer. The key word here is LIFE!!!
It is hard to look in the mirror and see the changes that cancer foists upon us, but change is inevitable, regardless of cancer and scars, or not.
I have ten scars on the front of my torso. They are not pretty, but they remind me that I'm alive and I have survived one of the scariest things - cancer. Perhaps all you need to do is look at your scars in a different way. Instead of seeing them as reminders of what you no longer have, let them remind you of what you do have = a beautiful body that right now is cancer free, and in spite of the changes that cancer left you with, it's a body that gives you the ability to enjoy the opportunity and possibility of living each new day.
You need to decide if you survived cancer to spend everyday mourning what you've lost, or if you survived cancer to keep living and moving forward with appreciation and a desire to be happy. It really is a choice! Is your glass half empty or is it half full? It's all a matter of how you choose to examine your own life. Journal writing can sometimes help folks like us sort these things out. Truly though, if you cannot move out of your grief, you might consider speaking with a grief counselor, who has experience treating people with illnesses such as cancer.
Sending you many blessing of hope, healing, good health and self-acceptance.
Something to cheer you up! Click on the link below:
I Can See Clearly Now!
That was always a great song and it say it all. Thats just how I feel every morning when I open my eyes to be able to enjoy another beautiful day! We should all embrace that we are here and alive to be able to enjoy everything thats out there in the world. There are things I notice and enjoy now that I would never have noticed before, and there is joy where there never was before.
Sure, I'm on the throne more, usually almost after each meal, but I look at it as a positive thing because it tells me my insides are working well. LOL0
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