I'm tired of crying!!!!!

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babebussie
babebussie Member Posts: 150
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Here i frigging go again. I found out today that my dr wants to start chemo monday because my tumor markers are getting higher. I went from 127 to 152 in just about a few weeks. She's gonna be giving me TAXOL & CARBOPLATIN. Has anyone ever had these two drugs?
I went from chemo to surgery back to chemo then rads, went back to work because life was begining to look great after all that i went through and then now the damn cancer came back in my bones so i'm in so much f-ing pain, the femera i've been taking isnt doing a damn thing so the dr wants to start chemo. "WHEW" I've cried so much tonight. My poor friend Maureen from the board had to listen to me ball like a little girl and i have to start this process over. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!!! Sorry ladies but thanks for being there.

Thanks Maureen for being my friend:-)
P.S I need feedback on those two drugs if anyone has taken them.
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Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #2
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    (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
    I don't have feedback on those drugs, so sorry honey.....

    You have every right to cry like a baby~ this was not part of your game-plan at all.

    Just know that you are surrounded by Kindred Spirits who feel your pain, and wish you a remarkable recovery and the coveted position of Poster Child of Cancer Survival. We live in an amazing place with incredible medical treatment...I send you healing thoughts, good vibes, and all good things. You are loved, sweet sister.

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • babebussie
    babebussie Member Posts: 150
    #3
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    chenheart said:

    (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
    I don't have feedback on those drugs, so sorry honey.....

    You have every right to cry like a baby~ this was not part of your game-plan at all.

    Just know that you are surrounded by Kindred Spirits who feel your pain, and wish you a remarkable recovery and the coveted position of Poster Child of Cancer Survival. We live in an amazing place with incredible medical treatment...I send you healing thoughts, good vibes, and all good things. You are loved, sweet sister.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Claudia, thanks so much for
    Claudia, thanks so much for your kind words. I just feel like this **** is never gonna end. Why doesnt this cancer just go the hell away and leave me alone. I have faith in God always and i know he will see me though this battle yet again. I'm glad i have all of you when things start to get hairy.

    Much luv to you Claudia, thanks:-)
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #4
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    babebussie said:

    Claudia, thanks so much for
    Claudia, thanks so much for your kind words. I just feel like this **** is never gonna end. Why doesnt this cancer just go the hell away and leave me alone. I have faith in God always and i know he will see me though this battle yet again. I'm glad i have all of you when things start to get hairy.

    Much luv to you Claudia, thanks:-)

    I am so sorry
    You have already been thru so much that it just doesn't seem fair..not at all. You have every right to be mad, to cry, to scream. I hope there is someone with you that can hold you and make you feel safe. Cancer does suck and it just isn't fair. I will pray for you and I hope you find the strength to get thru this. (((((((((hugs))))))))
  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #5
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    friends
    You can call and cry all you want anytime you want. It sucks, it isn't fair and you have every right to be pissed!

    Maureen
  • dorothyt
    dorothyt Member Posts: 103
    #6
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    Jeanne D said:

    I am so sorry
    You have already been thru so much that it just doesn't seem fair..not at all. You have every right to be mad, to cry, to scream. I hope there is someone with you that can hold you and make you feel safe. Cancer does suck and it just isn't fair. I will pray for you and I hope you find the strength to get thru this. (((((((((hugs))))))))

    I'm very sorry to hear that
    I'm very sorry to hear that your cancer has came back. Just keep trusting in God and he will see you though this. When I found out I had cancer, I did a lot of crying also, and sometimes I feel like crying now. I will keep you in my prayers.
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #7
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    I'm very sorry....
    I'm very sorry that this has happened, and that you have to keep taking a pounding from treatments. I'm also very sorry that you are going through so much pain.
    I had Abraxane, which is a form of Taxol. Most people don't have huge problems with it, from what I have read on here. I had a few unpleasantries, but that's just me.
    I have not had Carboplatin and don't know anything about that drug. Check for it on chemocare.com
    I did see it listed on there, but did not read about it.

    Please know that you are surrounded by people who care and who are sending strength your way.

    Great big hugs for you...
    CR
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #8
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    You go ahead and cry
    I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. It is so unfair for the cancer to return and bother you again. I don't know why this is happening, either. I was on Taxotere, which is in the same class of drugs as Taxol. I took it with other chemo agents so I can't tell you about its individual effects personally. But I know many people who had it separately that say it can be pretty low in side effects. Apparently, your hair doesn't really fall out on it. As for carboplatin, I know it is a platinum agent and a pretty powerful drug. Claudia is right. There are so many more treatment options now than there were even a few years ago. I know there are some women here who had recurrence to the bones many years ago. Maybe they will chime in.

    My best thoughts,

    Mimi
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #9
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    CR1954 said:

    I'm very sorry....
    I'm very sorry that this has happened, and that you have to keep taking a pounding from treatments. I'm also very sorry that you are going through so much pain.
    I had Abraxane, which is a form of Taxol. Most people don't have huge problems with it, from what I have read on here. I had a few unpleasantries, but that's just me.
    I have not had Carboplatin and don't know anything about that drug. Check for it on chemocare.com
    I did see it listed on there, but did not read about it.

    Please know that you are surrounded by people who care and who are sending strength your way.

    Great big hugs for you...
    CR

    Hi Babe
    I don't know anything about carboplatin ... but I am on taxol (along with herceptin). As CR said ... I haven't had any huge problems with it. I go today for #8 of my weekly infusions and I can honestly say I have never had any nausea. The only minor side effects are totally manageable.

    Have you googled carboplatin to check on possible side effects? I'm sure are upset about the thought of any chemo ... but you may find it is a much easier road than you expected.

    All I know about the "stuff" some others are taking ... is that many, many out there have a very rough time with their chemo ... especially the "A/C" kind ... or whatever that "red devil" stuff is. I admire those women tremendously. They are much stronger than I would be in their shoes.

    Good luck ... and let us know what you learn about carboplatin.

    hugs.
    teena
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #10
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    Babe, I am so sorry
    I am so sorry this is happening, Babe. You are a strong and beautiful woman--you cry all you need to get through this. And you will get through it. As Claudia said, there are powerful treatments today and more all the time. We have sisters posting here who have living and coping with bone mets for several years. You will probably hear from them.

    As far as carboplatin, I know as Mimi said that it is a powerful medicine. I have heard the nurses at the chemo center refer to it as they administer it there, so it is already in common use. You might check not just with chemocare.com but also www.breatcancer.org, or the bone cancer section of this network.

    As for Zofran, I have taken it with all my chemo treatments. It does work. Only side effect I noticed was a slight headache from time to time. But I am prone to migraines, and headaches are my first reaction to stress. So you may not have any headaches at all. (they were not bad, and only intermittent). Zofran does stop the nauseau.

    Please know that I am praying for you.
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #11
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    hi babe
    I was on carboplatin, it is used to treat ovarian cancer as well as lung, head, neck, breast, endometrial, esohagael, bladder, breast and cervical, CNS, or germ cell tumors, osteogenic sarcoma, and as a preparation for stem or bone cell marrow transplants. It is a chemo drug with se of low blood counts, ab pain, diarrhea, constipation, mouth sores, infection, nausea, taste changes, weakness and blood test abnormalties, and hair loss. It is most effective in killing cells that are rapidly dividing (if they don't divide they die) unfortunately it doesn't know the dif between good and bad cells,,and cells mostly affected are, blood cells, mouth sores, stomach and bowel, and hair follicults, hense diarrhea and hair loss.
    I was also on Taxatere ( a sister of taxol) approved for bc, non-small cell lung cancer, advanced stomach, head and neck. It is also a chemo drug which lowers white blood count (increasing infection risk and low red blood count (anemia), fluid retention, weight gain swelling of ankles or abdominal area. and all the other se listed for carboplatin.

    I had mouth sores though not to bad since i gargled with salt and baking soda water, swelling abs, hair loss, fatigue and weaknes, diarhea ( i took imodium) nausea (they gave me ativan) Only one time did i have low blood counts and had to have the nuelasta shot, and of course the most devasting..hair loss

    I was also on Herceptin. I hope this helps a little. I will be praying for you. and wishing you the best of luck. YOU can do it!!

    God Bless
    Jackie
  • babebussie
    babebussie Member Posts: 150
    #12
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    rjjj said:

    hi babe
    I was on carboplatin, it is used to treat ovarian cancer as well as lung, head, neck, breast, endometrial, esohagael, bladder, breast and cervical, CNS, or germ cell tumors, osteogenic sarcoma, and as a preparation for stem or bone cell marrow transplants. It is a chemo drug with se of low blood counts, ab pain, diarrhea, constipation, mouth sores, infection, nausea, taste changes, weakness and blood test abnormalties, and hair loss. It is most effective in killing cells that are rapidly dividing (if they don't divide they die) unfortunately it doesn't know the dif between good and bad cells,,and cells mostly affected are, blood cells, mouth sores, stomach and bowel, and hair follicults, hense diarrhea and hair loss.
    I was also on Taxatere ( a sister of taxol) approved for bc, non-small cell lung cancer, advanced stomach, head and neck. It is also a chemo drug which lowers white blood count (increasing infection risk and low red blood count (anemia), fluid retention, weight gain swelling of ankles or abdominal area. and all the other se listed for carboplatin.

    I had mouth sores though not to bad since i gargled with salt and baking soda water, swelling abs, hair loss, fatigue and weaknes, diarhea ( i took imodium) nausea (they gave me ativan) Only one time did i have low blood counts and had to have the nuelasta shot, and of course the most devasting..hair loss

    I was also on Herceptin. I hope this helps a little. I will be praying for you. and wishing you the best of luck. YOU can do it!!

    God Bless
    Jackie

    I give thanks
    to all the women on this board for helping me deal with this horrible BC. Yes, as i said this sucks in capital letters but i will get thru this just as before. I so wanted to be done with all the poking, testing, pill chewing and constant questions that i asks all of you. God is the captain of this ship and i am the passenger. Soon i will be getting off this ship in good health. I have faith.

    Thanks to you all for being my support. Chemo starts monday and i'll be sure to let you guys know how it went.
    Blessings to you all!
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    #13
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    my heart goes out to you.
    my heart goes out to you. tomorrow is another day. a good friend of mine told me when i was crying all of the time that tears were god's way of beginning the healing of something. i have always remembered that and i hope it brings you some comfort. hugs, peggy
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #14
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    You have a right to cry all you need to...
    Crying rids the body of stress-related toxins, so go ahead.

    I am so sorry for this setback. Yes, totally sucks that this should hit you at all - much less just when you're getting back into your life.

    Others have already posted here with feedback on the two drugs. I'll join in with support & encouragement... Because this new manifestation of the beast can also be beaten back into submission. My heart goes out to you, for having to face another round of chemo. I know you don't want to - who would? - but you will because you must. I'll be wishing for the best possible outcome for you, without much difficulty.

    Hopes & prayers your way.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #15
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    Hey Babe: Your news sure
    Hey Babe: Your news sure sucks and I'm so sorry you are fighting this damn beast again. I know that Soccerfreaks, had taxol & carboplatin for lung cancer. You might want to send him a message because he'll be able to tell you his experiences. Sorry Babe and know you are in my prayers. Hugs, Lili
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
    #16
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    Hi Babe,
    I'm sorry you are
    Hi Babe,
    I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I can't answer any of your drug questions,as I have no experience with them. Are you on a pain management system of any kind? Don't forget, there are drugs that can help you through the pain.

    What better reason to cry than what you are dealing with. You cannot be on a physical roller-coaster without being on an emotional one. You have every right to cry. I do get the feeling that you are one strong woman and that you will get through this with flying colors. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love and Gentle Hugs,
    Donna
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #17
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    Crying is good, good, good,
    Babe, for the longest time I did not cry and not being able to cry is a sort of disease in itself. Don't hold in those tears. Let them flow like a river. They are a cleansing gift. I am so sorry that you are going through this, and I am crying for you too. Lynn
  • Jan_M
    Jan_M Member Posts: 116
    #18
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    lynn1950 said:

    Crying is good, good, good,
    Babe, for the longest time I did not cry and not being able to cry is a sort of disease in itself. Don't hold in those tears. Let them flow like a river. They are a cleansing gift. I am so sorry that you are going through this, and I am crying for you too. Lynn

    I also want to say I am so
    I also want to say I am so sorry you have to do it all again. BIG HUG YOUR WAY!
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #19
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    So sorry bb. I hate that
    So sorry bb. I hate that this is happening to you. I will be praying.
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #20
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    babebussie said:

    I give thanks
    to all the women on this board for helping me deal with this horrible BC. Yes, as i said this sucks in capital letters but i will get thru this just as before. I so wanted to be done with all the poking, testing, pill chewing and constant questions that i asks all of you. God is the captain of this ship and i am the passenger. Soon i will be getting off this ship in good health. I have faith.

    Thanks to you all for being my support. Chemo starts monday and i'll be sure to let you guys know how it went.
    Blessings to you all!

    Tomorrow is Monday...
    ... and the beginning of another round of chemo for you.

    I will be thinking of you, babebussie, with heartfelt hopes & prayers.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #21
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    Babe, it's Mon night and I'm
    Babe, it's Mon night and I'm wondering how you made out. I hope it all went well. If you're not feeling too funky over the next few days, drop us a line.

    Sending you warmth and sunshine
    love
    jan

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