It has been 2 years since I lost Richard to lung cancer. We had 34 years together and all I want is my life back, the way it was. It doesn't matter if it was before or after he was sick. I don't know how to start over without him.
Does this even make any sence?
I was 19 when we met, he was 21 so we basically grew up together. Shared our hopes and dreaams and Cancer took that away from both of us.
I know that people pick up the pieces and go on, but how. Most days I am good, then like the last couple of days..... BOOM it hits me like a brick flying through a plate glass window. And the life that I have tryed to put together without him are shattered and I have to start putting them back together again.
To tell you the truth it is really getting old. I can't tell you what he looked like before he passed. But I can tell you exactly what he looked like the night I took him to the hospital. It's a memory that I can't get out of my mind.
I am getting out and meeting new people, but this doesn't seem to help because I keep going back to OUR LIFE. Is it too soon? I waited 1 year 7 months before I even went out with friends.
If anyone has been or is going through this and has any ideas, thoughts, suggestions. Any comments period to help would greatly be appreciated. PLEASE let me know.