Just got the news..... tumor on right side... I'm scared

idlehunters
idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I have a zillion questions,... starting with "why me?" So much I don't understand. I am 52 years young with wonderful husband. Symptoms started with diarrhia for several months. Me and the girlfriends just made fun of it cause we were all heading to what we thought was the "depends" future..... NOT. I finally ended up in hospital with stabbing pains in stomach and diagnosed with colitis. I have seen several people say they had blood in stool. This was never my case. Don't know if that matters. After hospital I went for colonoscopy which showed a tumor ascending right colon. The doctor didn't tell me what stage it was... I didn't know they cme in stages. My CAT scan was abnormal... was that because it was showing the tumor? Doctor plans on doing a right hemicolectomy on April 29. He said if in nodes he will remove and possibly a portion of small intestine. Is this all sounding familiar to you all? He said waiting for 11 days will not harm me but I feel like I am being ate up every minute this is in my body. Now that I know this is in me I am having dull little pains in that area and I know thats got to be in my head. Me and my husband cry all the time. Doctor says he can not give me any definate news til he gets in there and sees if the tumor has gone outside the colon walls. Does that happen a lot? Any advice or opinions at this stage sure would be appreciated. Thank you all so much

Jennie

Comments

  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
    welcome
    jennie you have come to the best supportive place i know of.i know you are scared,i was dx in sept08 with a cancer tumor in my rectum.no family history and only44 years old.went thru chem pills {xeloda} and radiation.it was to shrink the tumer.had my big surgery on dec.30 08.which i also had a temporary iliostomy which was reversed on feb.4 then during surgery they took out 10 node 5 showing cancer cells.i am now going thru preventative chem called oxy and 5fu.dont worry you will catch on to the terms.i am a stage3 i know this is all overwhelming and some days it hard for me to cope.what you need to do is come to this board we are all here to give eachother support to get thru this journey.again welcome and Godbless.....johnnybegood
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601

    welcome
    jennie you have come to the best supportive place i know of.i know you are scared,i was dx in sept08 with a cancer tumor in my rectum.no family history and only44 years old.went thru chem pills {xeloda} and radiation.it was to shrink the tumer.had my big surgery on dec.30 08.which i also had a temporary iliostomy which was reversed on feb.4 then during surgery they took out 10 node 5 showing cancer cells.i am now going thru preventative chem called oxy and 5fu.dont worry you will catch on to the terms.i am a stage3 i know this is all overwhelming and some days it hard for me to cope.what you need to do is come to this board we are all here to give eachother support to get thru this journey.again welcome and Godbless.....johnnybegood

    Lots of Questions
    Without knowing all your details, it sounds to me like you maybe straddling between stage 2 and stage 3. They seldom perform colectomies before chemo in stage 4 patients. I think the doctor will check for nodal involvement before staging your cancer. If your nodes are heavily involved then you'll be stage 3 if not you'll be stage 2. The next few months are going to suck but you should be in the clear by years end. You're young, and if you're healthy, you should have an excellent prognosis.
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375
    Welcome, Jennie!
    Ok Jennie... take a deeeeep breath!! First, let me welcome you to probably the BEST place on the whole internet for support and answers to your questions. You are sooo lucky to have found this board right at the beginning of your diagnosis. Seriously, coming here will take the edge off your fears and confusion.

    For starters, over the next umpteen months, the doctors/surgeons/oncologists/specialists, etc are all going to give you information and your poor brain is going to go into Information Overload! You are going to forget some of the things you were told, you are going to freak out at other information because it will sound scary, and you are going to misinterpret other information, which in turn will scare you again. But we are all here to take you under our wings and explain what the terminology means, correct you when you've misunderstood and give you additional information if you didn't get enough.

    So, here's what I suggest. I'm thinking that you and your husband are going to be a team and work through this together, right? Sooooo, off you and he go to a stationary store and pick yourself up a three-ring binder (for filing any paperwork or copies of paperwork that your doctors give you). Also, pick up a notebook, one for yourself and one for your husband... to keep with you at all times and as questions arise, write them in your notebook. Seriously, that may sound really silly, but it truly is a wonderful tool to have because I can guarantee you 100% any questions you think of now, you are NOT going to remember when you are at a doctor's appt., or meeting with a surgeon or specialist. Your husband will appreciate having his own notebook as well because chances are he's going to come up with different questions than you do.

    Then, when you do start going to these appts., have someone go with you. Not only for support but it always helps to have a second pair of ears in the room. Again, I can guarantee you aren't going to hear everything, and hubby or a friend will be able to fill you in on anything you may have missed or heard differently. Also, if it is your hubby who goes with you, make sure you BOTH bring your notebooks so that you can ask ALL of your questions. I don't know if it's the same where you are, but up here we are even encouraged to bring a recording device to tape the appt. That way, you have everything recorded so you can go back and review it if you forget what was said.

    Now, having said all this... you are going to find lots of us here with different stages of the cancer. I'm a Stage IV... and alive, kicking and causing trouble all over the place :) It is NOT a death sentence like it once was thought to be. Don't get me wrong... of course it is serious, and yes some people don't survive, but so many more do survive and we are all living proof that no matter what the Stage, there are survivors. Either survivors where they have made it 5 years without the cancer coming back, or like some of us, we may end up never being free of cancer, but learn to "live with cancer". Hey, living with cancer is way easier than dying from cancer :)

    So, you just relax. The worst part is the waiting and wondering what the next step is going to be. But we will all be here for you, so make sure you come back!!

    Hugggggs,

    Cheryl
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    You've Come to a Great Place
    Hi Jennie,
    I'm sorry to hear your news. I probably can't add too much more to what people have said. My best advice is to STAY AWAY FROM READING TOO MUCH ON THE INTERNET. I don't mean to yell but there is a lot of old incorrect data out there, it can really freak you out if you believe all of it. We are all different with how we got cancer, what the stage is, which treatment we are on, and our results are with it. Another thing that I saw posted that I would suggest is to get a team of Doctors that YOU are comfortable with. I'm sure these 11 days will not fly be, I remember my DX (diagnosis) and it sucked. Things went fast though and I got a great team of doctors (after firing my first doctor - sometimes you have to do it...) and started treatment and all. I won't go into all my details but I will say that I am Stage IV, living with cancer for over 5 years. I work full time, and lead a fairly normal life. At least it's normal for me.
    Like I saw Cheryl post, it's not like the old days where it was a death sentence.
    Hang in there, feel free to post. I will help when I can.
    -phil
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    Welcome
    HI Jennie, welcome to the forum. I'm 58 and was dx'd on Jan. 2nd. Stage III. My prognosis is quite good.

    PLEASE don't read all the stuff on the internet! I took Cheryl's advice early on and have NOT looked at other websites, survival rates posted online, etc. That info is old and is not ME.

    I'm not as knowledgeable as those who have been here for years but I can offer best wishes, a shoulder to cry on and my prayers for your healing.

    God Bless,
    Diane Tavegia
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    The Right Place
    You have come to the right place, especially for moral support. There are some knowledgeable people here and some that have been through very similar to what you are experiencing. We are at different levels of our diagnosis. Some just finding out like you and some just starting treatment and some that are NED (no evidence of disease). I know you feel overwhelmed right now and what to scream and that is ok. Most of us all have had the same response after first finding out. Rest assured your emotions are common and we understand.

    Keep us informed as to anything you want to let us know about or share with us.

    Like posted earlier do not look at statistics - they are old.

    Kim
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member

    The Right Place
    You have come to the right place, especially for moral support. There are some knowledgeable people here and some that have been through very similar to what you are experiencing. We are at different levels of our diagnosis. Some just finding out like you and some just starting treatment and some that are NED (no evidence of disease). I know you feel overwhelmed right now and what to scream and that is ok. Most of us all have had the same response after first finding out. Rest assured your emotions are common and we understand.

    Keep us informed as to anything you want to let us know about or share with us.

    Like posted earlier do not look at statistics - they are old.

    Kim

    You people are unreal
    Wow ................. you all have made me feel better. A sigh of temp. relief
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member

    Welcome, Jennie!
    Ok Jennie... take a deeeeep breath!! First, let me welcome you to probably the BEST place on the whole internet for support and answers to your questions. You are sooo lucky to have found this board right at the beginning of your diagnosis. Seriously, coming here will take the edge off your fears and confusion.

    For starters, over the next umpteen months, the doctors/surgeons/oncologists/specialists, etc are all going to give you information and your poor brain is going to go into Information Overload! You are going to forget some of the things you were told, you are going to freak out at other information because it will sound scary, and you are going to misinterpret other information, which in turn will scare you again. But we are all here to take you under our wings and explain what the terminology means, correct you when you've misunderstood and give you additional information if you didn't get enough.

    So, here's what I suggest. I'm thinking that you and your husband are going to be a team and work through this together, right? Sooooo, off you and he go to a stationary store and pick yourself up a three-ring binder (for filing any paperwork or copies of paperwork that your doctors give you). Also, pick up a notebook, one for yourself and one for your husband... to keep with you at all times and as questions arise, write them in your notebook. Seriously, that may sound really silly, but it truly is a wonderful tool to have because I can guarantee you 100% any questions you think of now, you are NOT going to remember when you are at a doctor's appt., or meeting with a surgeon or specialist. Your husband will appreciate having his own notebook as well because chances are he's going to come up with different questions than you do.

    Then, when you do start going to these appts., have someone go with you. Not only for support but it always helps to have a second pair of ears in the room. Again, I can guarantee you aren't going to hear everything, and hubby or a friend will be able to fill you in on anything you may have missed or heard differently. Also, if it is your hubby who goes with you, make sure you BOTH bring your notebooks so that you can ask ALL of your questions. I don't know if it's the same where you are, but up here we are even encouraged to bring a recording device to tape the appt. That way, you have everything recorded so you can go back and review it if you forget what was said.

    Now, having said all this... you are going to find lots of us here with different stages of the cancer. I'm a Stage IV... and alive, kicking and causing trouble all over the place :) It is NOT a death sentence like it once was thought to be. Don't get me wrong... of course it is serious, and yes some people don't survive, but so many more do survive and we are all living proof that no matter what the Stage, there are survivors. Either survivors where they have made it 5 years without the cancer coming back, or like some of us, we may end up never being free of cancer, but learn to "live with cancer". Hey, living with cancer is way easier than dying from cancer :)

    So, you just relax. The worst part is the waiting and wondering what the next step is going to be. But we will all be here for you, so make sure you come back!!

    Hugggggs,

    Cheryl

    Newbee Advice
    Cheryl...... thank you for taking the time to give me such great advice. You are all being so helpful. How did I get soooo lucky to find you all??? I will definately stay in touch. I NEED you all.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member

    Newbee Advice
    Cheryl...... thank you for taking the time to give me such great advice. You are all being so helpful. How did I get soooo lucky to find you all??? I will definately stay in touch. I NEED you all.

    It's up to YOU
    As much as we are all here to support you, I think most would agree that it is at least 90% YOUR attitude with how well you do with all of this. We can help pick up your spirit but you have to do the down and dirty work. One thing that helped me, after I found what I was dealing with, was to see a therapist. I found that it has helped me enormously just to let feelings out. That's just me, others have other ways to do it.
    -phil
  • shoppergal
    shoppergal Member Posts: 118
    It's okay to be scared
    Hi Jennie, I wish I didn't have to welcome you here, but the people here will be a great support. Unfortunately, I didn't get my computer till after my diagnosis and chemo was finished. First, I'd like to tell you I was diagnosed Nov 2007 when I was 52 yrs young also. I never felt I had to ask why me,because I feel that we are never given more than we can handle, and also bad things sometimes happen to really nice people. I never had any symptoms and just discovered my colon cancer thru a routine colonoscopy.I had a tumor in my sigmoid colon which meant that I didn'nt need an ostomy of any kind. The tumor was removed with a portion of my colon along with 9 lymph nodes. The cancer ended up being in 6 of those nodes so my cancer was considered stage 3. Don't worry about having to wait 11days, it won't make a bit of difference.When I was diagnosed and surgery was scheduled I fell in the bathtub 4 days before so I had to put off surgery and give my lung which was bruised, time to heal. I waited 2 more weeks before I was able to do surgery, so from my first colonoscopy till I had surgery was about 8 wks. I had 6months of chemo and like everyone else said, we are now learning to live with the diagnosis of cancer, which is no longer a death sentence like years ago.Just remember everyone's case is different and you have people here who can help put you at ease by answering some questions. So far you have been given wonderful advice, about getting notebooks and writing things down, and don't be afraid of asking your doctors plenty of questions, they've heard it all before! Be strong, you will get thru it all and realize more than ever before just how beautiful everything really is. Best of luck to you!
  • jenben59
    jenben59 Member Posts: 136 Member
    Welcome Jennie
    I do understand your shock and fear. When I found out In December 09 I had no idea what to do, where to go and especially who to talk to about a cancer diagnosis. This is the place to be, the people are knowledgeable and very understanding. My situation is similar...no symptoms at all, only a pain on my right side below my ribs... colonoscopy...diagnosed with Diverticulitis...had surgery to remove some of the large intestine that was involved...after surgery...told I had stage 3c colon cancer not Diverticulitis. I literally was a mess, did not know what to do, until I found this site. There are people here with more advanced cancer and have made it. There are people here that have been fighting the cancer a long time and are still alive to help others. This is the best place you will find. The kind and understanding. I wish when I get over this mess and become NED I could travel and meet some of these great people. They have been a true blessing to me. Ask anything you want...they will answer. I wish you the best. Hang in there and stay in touch.
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    welcome
    we can all SO relate to how you are feeling; it's normal and the shock will pass. Be sure to bring someone with you to ALL appointments, cause you won't remember much of what is said until the shock really wears off and you are into full battle gear. As the others have said, you won't be staged until the surgeon gets in there and sees exactly what you're dealing with. Follow up treatment will be determined as a result of what the surgeon finds as well. Know that right now your job is to absorb as much of what you are hearing as possible and give yourself a break; rest when you need to, don't try to be a hero and let others help as much as they want! I was diagnosed back in August of 2004 and am still here fighting! There are others who have been in the fight longer, some shorter, but we all have the beast in common and the urge to NOT LET IT WIN!!!! Come back often.
    mary
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    welcome
    Hi, Jennie.

    We've all been there in that moment when you get the ugly surprise. It DOES get better.
    We'll all be here for you, so just come on by and ask questions or say whatever you need to say.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    GREAT ADVICE ABOVE!
    Especially PhillieG's words of wisdom about not reading too much on the internet and that your ATTITUDE is 90% of your cure. Welcome to a great site where you can get good - ground-truthed info from folks who have walked the walk and many who are still walking it today.

    - SpongeBob
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    One suggestion for Jennie
    Jennie, once you start chemo, you'll be told not to floss or have dental treatments unless an emergency and with approval, etc. If it's near time for a cleaning and x-rays, you might use the next weeks to get that done.

    You will be told (or I was told):
    Do not to color or perm your hair. I colored my hair a few days before my first scheduled chemo.

    Do not work in the yard because of bacteria in the soil.

    Avoid sun during chemo because you will be much more sensitive.

    Maybe there are some things you'd like to get done before chemo begins. I began chemo 5 or 6 weeks after my colon surgery.

    Diane
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
    spongebob said:

    GREAT ADVICE ABOVE!
    Especially PhillieG's words of wisdom about not reading too much on the internet and that your ATTITUDE is 90% of your cure. Welcome to a great site where you can get good - ground-truthed info from folks who have walked the walk and many who are still walking it today.

    - SpongeBob

    Questions
    Does everyone have to go thru Chemo after the removal of the tumor? I am assuming yes if it has spread to nodes or small intestines?? How soon after I leave the hospital will I be able to function on my own? We cannot afford to have my husband off on FMLA any longer than about a week which will consist of my hospital stay. My kids are all grown... work full time jobs... and have families of their own to take care of. What did you all do? Will I need help for a few weeks?? months??? I am sure I will not be up to running my daily business like paying bills so I am thinking to pay a few months in advance. I am so glad I know about the dental work and getting my hair done...... Thanks for that info. If it's one thing I have learned so far..... this is my fight.... this ugly thing WILL NOT beat me... I have too much to live for.
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member

    Questions
    Does everyone have to go thru Chemo after the removal of the tumor? I am assuming yes if it has spread to nodes or small intestines?? How soon after I leave the hospital will I be able to function on my own? We cannot afford to have my husband off on FMLA any longer than about a week which will consist of my hospital stay. My kids are all grown... work full time jobs... and have families of their own to take care of. What did you all do? Will I need help for a few weeks?? months??? I am sure I will not be up to running my daily business like paying bills so I am thinking to pay a few months in advance. I am so glad I know about the dental work and getting my hair done...... Thanks for that info. If it's one thing I have learned so far..... this is my fight.... this ugly thing WILL NOT beat me... I have too much to live for.

    Not enough info
    Since you don't know your stage, etc., no one can guess about the chemo. Stage I, no. Stage II, maybe. Stage III, yes. You told us right side, how far up or down? Everything changes everything. Best we can do is guess.

    In general, you are NOT talking weeks/ months! You can't lift or drive for 6 weeks (according to my surgery and surgeon).

    Chemo won't start for 5 or 6 weeks after surgery. You'll be fully healed by then.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member

    Not enough info
    Since you don't know your stage, etc., no one can guess about the chemo. Stage I, no. Stage II, maybe. Stage III, yes. You told us right side, how far up or down? Everything changes everything. Best we can do is guess.

    In general, you are NOT talking weeks/ months! You can't lift or drive for 6 weeks (according to my surgery and surgeon).

    Chemo won't start for 5 or 6 weeks after surgery. You'll be fully healed by then.

    Chemo
    Its hard to say about chemo. My tumor shrunk to only 3 mm and no lymph node involvement and I am having chemo (I am almost sure I am). I am just three weeks post surgery so I haven't started chemo yet but it all depends on your situation. Kim
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    colon cancer
    don't be afraid untill you get all the information on your tumor.they found my tumor in the colonoscopy,then found the extent of it with a cat scan.I did 2 cat scans,an endoscomy,a colonoscopy,and then they found that I had colorectal cancer,stage 3. The tumor had spread outside the colon,and attached itself to my tailbone.I did both the chemo.and radiation at the same time before the surgery.During the surgery they removed the tumor,and 11 lymph nodes.The nodes tested negative,I have just taken my 6 month cat scan,and colonoscopy,and everything tested clear.I have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of my life,but I can live with that since it appears that they got it all.all I can do is hope,and never give up.My brother died of pancreatic cancer last year,and he fought to the very end.Try to live your life as normal as possible,I had the tumor for 2 to 3 years before they found it,but I was determined to be a survivor,and you can be too.