loss of intrest in working
Comments
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tonybear
You sound like my husband did as far as age etc. I hope you can squeeze a vacation in. I am on chemo but havent had vacation in almost 5 years and I need at least a 3 day one. I am on disabililty because of too much chemo but all I have done is chemo drs and laying around and housework when I can so I am going to try to get a couple 3 day mini vacations. I hope you and your wife get one life is too short. Take care
Prayers and Hugs to all
Sandy0 -
workinggreen50 said:tonybear
You sound like my husband did as far as age etc. I hope you can squeeze a vacation in. I am on chemo but havent had vacation in almost 5 years and I need at least a 3 day one. I am on disabililty because of too much chemo but all I have done is chemo drs and laying around and housework when I can so I am going to try to get a couple 3 day mini vacations. I hope you and your wife get one life is too short. Take care
Prayers and Hugs to all
Sandy
Tonybear. I am 53 and on disability after cancer. I had returned to work for 2 years when my neck fell apart. I had worked since 14 years of age and not working drove me crazy. But after having cancer I no longer worked OT and took as much time off as possible. My priorities had completly changed and I realized that my family was more important to spend time with then working. There are no gaurantees that cancer won't come back and we want to get the most out of life. I think its perfectly normal. But then again we can't have much of a life without any income. After fighting my battles with disability my wife and I spent a night at a lighthouse on Lake Superior. We were out walking around at midnight all by ourselves. That trip was the start of my new life and I was able to finally settle in. I hope your able to get away and have time to think about things. Slickwilly0 -
green 50green50 said:tonybear
You sound like my husband did as far as age etc. I hope you can squeeze a vacation in. I am on chemo but havent had vacation in almost 5 years and I need at least a 3 day one. I am on disabililty because of too much chemo but all I have done is chemo drs and laying around and housework when I can so I am going to try to get a couple 3 day mini vacations. I hope you and your wife get one life is too short. Take care
Prayers and Hugs to all
Sandy
i try to give her time when she wants it. she has her own company working with autistic children. i can't do that job. i love them but the patience required is great. we have a time share condo and can use it when ever, but the time for when ever is hard to find. thank you for the help.
tony0 -
slickwillyslickwilly said:working
Tonybear. I am 53 and on disability after cancer. I had returned to work for 2 years when my neck fell apart. I had worked since 14 years of age and not working drove me crazy. But after having cancer I no longer worked OT and took as much time off as possible. My priorities had completly changed and I realized that my family was more important to spend time with then working. There are no gaurantees that cancer won't come back and we want to get the most out of life. I think its perfectly normal. But then again we can't have much of a life without any income. After fighting my battles with disability my wife and I spent a night at a lighthouse on Lake Superior. We were out walking around at midnight all by ourselves. That trip was the start of my new life and I was able to finally settle in. I hope your able to get away and have time to think about things. Slickwilly
the family is becoming more of focal point in my mind. the other day i came home from work and my girl was on the sofa watching tv. i went to my room and the thought came to me. she won't always be here. so i went back to the living room, put the sofa pillows on the floor and laid down and watched tv with her. that was a new one for me. even though i am the step dad we are very close and talk a lot. my wife ask me where i'd want to live.i told her on the beach, but not on the atlantic side because of those hurry-caines. i lived between the delaware and chesapeak and atlantic ocean for 10 yrs. i miss the beach and ocean. i now live south of ft worth tx and the waves are few and far between. there isn't much of a high tide here either. the money thing controls a lot of my life with 3 kids at home. 2 in college and 1 getting ready to go navy.
thanks for the reply. tony0 -
Sounds like...
you are experiencing what many of us do after treatment and we get the 'go ahead' to get back to real living. We have a much stronger desire to make EVERY minute count...big time. Maybe your job isn't doing it for you. But usually we don't have the option to just pick up and leave a good job (especially these days). So I would suggest that you look for some kind of 'pay it forward' thing that really melts your butter. It doesn't have to be helping other cancer survivors, which is what 'does it' for many of us, but just whatever direction your heart lies. Not to take valuable time away from your family for sure, but maybe they would like to join you in some type of volunteer endeavor or the like. Nothing creates a stronger bond than helping those you love help those you love to help.
Good luck and God bless.0 -
zahalenezahalene said:Sounds like...
you are experiencing what many of us do after treatment and we get the 'go ahead' to get back to real living. We have a much stronger desire to make EVERY minute count...big time. Maybe your job isn't doing it for you. But usually we don't have the option to just pick up and leave a good job (especially these days). So I would suggest that you look for some kind of 'pay it forward' thing that really melts your butter. It doesn't have to be helping other cancer survivors, which is what 'does it' for many of us, but just whatever direction your heart lies. Not to take valuable time away from your family for sure, but maybe they would like to join you in some type of volunteer endeavor or the like. Nothing creates a stronger bond than helping those you love help those you love to help.
Good luck and God bless.
the more i think about it the more some of it is a time control issue. we only have 24 hours per day and i'd like to control more of it if not all of it. my job provides above average insurance which enabled me to get the best care i could for 2 months without the worry of a job loss. it is like flipping a coin and waiting for it to be something other than heads or tails. my abstract thinking doesn't always help. me and the wife do a lot for other people through our church and i love that time. there is good, bad, laughter and tears. but it is fulfilling to the soul. my kids ( 18 and 19 ) help others without being told, so that makes mom and myself happy. all of the help i've had here is an eye opener to a better future. all of this helps me to be a better person. thank you all. tony0 -
Your Posttonybear said:zahalene
the more i think about it the more some of it is a time control issue. we only have 24 hours per day and i'd like to control more of it if not all of it. my job provides above average insurance which enabled me to get the best care i could for 2 months without the worry of a job loss. it is like flipping a coin and waiting for it to be something other than heads or tails. my abstract thinking doesn't always help. me and the wife do a lot for other people through our church and i love that time. there is good, bad, laughter and tears. but it is fulfilling to the soul. my kids ( 18 and 19 ) help others without being told, so that makes mom and myself happy. all of the help i've had here is an eye opener to a better future. all of this helps me to be a better person. thank you all. tony
Mr. Bear, you have said so much of what I have felt these past years. After my second bout with cancer, I did not feel much at all like going back to a job that paid pretty well, but did not satisfy me at all. After my third bout with cancer, I didn't have to worry about working, as I got laid off. It has been very hard to get a routine going or to just make a decision some days. My tastes in everything have changed, as well as my perspective about life. It has been about 19 years since I had any type of vacation. And that time 19 years ago was a day trip to Niagara Falls! I think all of us who have had major life changes and become survivors have a hard time settling back into our old routines. So much has changed that what was important then is not important now. I am still working on putting my life back together, at least having a life. I wish you well...Cindy0 -
I hear ya Tonytonybear said:zahalene
the more i think about it the more some of it is a time control issue. we only have 24 hours per day and i'd like to control more of it if not all of it. my job provides above average insurance which enabled me to get the best care i could for 2 months without the worry of a job loss. it is like flipping a coin and waiting for it to be something other than heads or tails. my abstract thinking doesn't always help. me and the wife do a lot for other people through our church and i love that time. there is good, bad, laughter and tears. but it is fulfilling to the soul. my kids ( 18 and 19 ) help others without being told, so that makes mom and myself happy. all of the help i've had here is an eye opener to a better future. all of this helps me to be a better person. thank you all. tony
I have always had a 'thing' about being hired out and giving someone else control of my time. Thankfully, I was able to be a stay at home mom most of my adult life. But I still needed to enrich my days to feel like more of a contributor so I kept other women's children so they could work outside the home. And, like your family, mine was always involved in church and community related support projects. My life felt full.
I am now 'retired' and living with my disabled dad. EVERYTHING I do must be centered around his needs. I find this really confining at times, but then, like you, I ask myself 'where else would I be if not here'? And I can't come up with an answer. I think that is a clue that we are where God has put us for the time being, even though it doesn't always feel as 'rich' as we might wish. And I keep reminding myself that it could be a lot worse.0 -
Working through my treatments,...but afterwards???zahalene said:I hear ya Tony
I have always had a 'thing' about being hired out and giving someone else control of my time. Thankfully, I was able to be a stay at home mom most of my adult life. But I still needed to enrich my days to feel like more of a contributor so I kept other women's children so they could work outside the home. And, like your family, mine was always involved in church and community related support projects. My life felt full.
I am now 'retired' and living with my disabled dad. EVERYTHING I do must be centered around his needs. I find this really confining at times, but then, like you, I ask myself 'where else would I be if not here'? And I can't come up with an answer. I think that is a clue that we are where God has put us for the time being, even though it doesn't always feel as 'rich' as we might wish. And I keep reminding myself that it could be a lot worse.
I have my own business and have a lot of contractural obligation and a responsibility to my handful of employees who count on me keeping my little company going. So throughout my treatments (which started in October 2008 and are on-going to date) I have been working every day from home on my computer. It has helped distract me from my cancer. But I think how I may feel regarding WORKING may change once I am out of treatment.
While in treatment, I need to stay close to my cancer center and oncologists, and my weeks are defined by appointments for chemo and bloodwork and (starting next week) radiation appointments. So it's been pretty easy to not mind allocating a chunk of my time between treatments to lose myself in my work. But once my radiation is over and my treatments finally END (at least for awhile), I have a feeling that I will NOT want to waste any of my precious time working. I love what I do and we can sure use the money, but I can easily see why work would be a low priority after having cancer, in the rush to start LIVING again, full steam ahead.
Because my radiation will initially be every day for 5 weeks, I've trained and authorized someone to act as "me" in my little company during April and May, so that I can have my treatment each morning and then either rest or play the rest of the day. I have a feeling that once I take this 'spring break' from working, I may never want to work again! I don't know if I can afford to do that, but I can imagine the freedom already of "no treatments AND no job";... and it sounds intoxicating!0 -
So much is relative - except one thing !!lindaprocopio said:Working through my treatments,...but afterwards???
I have my own business and have a lot of contractural obligation and a responsibility to my handful of employees who count on me keeping my little company going. So throughout my treatments (which started in October 2008 and are on-going to date) I have been working every day from home on my computer. It has helped distract me from my cancer. But I think how I may feel regarding WORKING may change once I am out of treatment.
While in treatment, I need to stay close to my cancer center and oncologists, and my weeks are defined by appointments for chemo and bloodwork and (starting next week) radiation appointments. So it's been pretty easy to not mind allocating a chunk of my time between treatments to lose myself in my work. But once my radiation is over and my treatments finally END (at least for awhile), I have a feeling that I will NOT want to waste any of my precious time working. I love what I do and we can sure use the money, but I can easily see why work would be a low priority after having cancer, in the rush to start LIVING again, full steam ahead.
Because my radiation will initially be every day for 5 weeks, I've trained and authorized someone to act as "me" in my little company during April and May, so that I can have my treatment each morning and then either rest or play the rest of the day. I have a feeling that once I take this 'spring break' from working, I may never want to work again! I don't know if I can afford to do that, but I can imagine the freedom already of "no treatments AND no job";... and it sounds intoxicating!
And that one thing be - priorities. I think that is the one big gift that cancer can bring all of us - perspective on what is truly important in life. For many of us that means family and friends first and for those lucky enough to be financially secure possibly freedom to retire early even. However if I can offer one take on the 'quit your job thing', if you truly love what you do for work and are well enough to continue with it - even if you can financially make do - I would stay working. Being able to continue working not only provides the financial rewards but more importantly serves to make one feel as if they are still part of society - a productive part. So many times we survivors tend to feel apart from society for this reason or that but staying in the work force serves to keep us feeling apart of things - like our old selves. I am on the other end of the spectrum, as many of you know, my treatments were long ago and I have many after effects that keep me on disability so I have been unable to get back to the job I loved since treatments began 20 years ago. I miss the social aspect of working and the job itself, which was a creative field, where to put my creativity now usually involves finding someone to help me with this chore or that - no real creative channels like before. At times I feel as if I contribute nothing to society any longer and that isn't a good feeling at all.
Even without illness you very often hear of people who retire only to go back to some sort of work, bored out of their trees, and when I wake up every day I wish to heavan that I was healthy enough to be able to work but I can't. Like I said in the title 'so much is relative' to our situations on this topic but just thought I would throw in my 3 cents on it. Hope you all are having a 'good' day. Blessings, Blueroses.0 -
Excellent point, Blueroses!blueroses said:So much is relative - except one thing !!
And that one thing be - priorities. I think that is the one big gift that cancer can bring all of us - perspective on what is truly important in life. For many of us that means family and friends first and for those lucky enough to be financially secure possibly freedom to retire early even. However if I can offer one take on the 'quit your job thing', if you truly love what you do for work and are well enough to continue with it - even if you can financially make do - I would stay working. Being able to continue working not only provides the financial rewards but more importantly serves to make one feel as if they are still part of society - a productive part. So many times we survivors tend to feel apart from society for this reason or that but staying in the work force serves to keep us feeling apart of things - like our old selves. I am on the other end of the spectrum, as many of you know, my treatments were long ago and I have many after effects that keep me on disability so I have been unable to get back to the job I loved since treatments began 20 years ago. I miss the social aspect of working and the job itself, which was a creative field, where to put my creativity now usually involves finding someone to help me with this chore or that - no real creative channels like before. At times I feel as if I contribute nothing to society any longer and that isn't a good feeling at all.
Even without illness you very often hear of people who retire only to go back to some sort of work, bored out of their trees, and when I wake up every day I wish to heavan that I was healthy enough to be able to work but I can't. Like I said in the title 'so much is relative' to our situations on this topic but just thought I would throw in my 3 cents on it. Hope you all are having a 'good' day. Blessings, Blueroses.
The type of work I now do for a living is something I did for FREE, as a volunteer, for 20 years. That's how much I love what I do. So it WILL come down to priorities. I just don't know how much my priorities will change once I am out of treatment and need to re-define my life once again as a survivor. I guess I'll just have to see when I come out on the other side of this tunnel and into the light again. (PLEASE let me make it out of the tunnel!!)0 -
lost interest in working
Hi Everyone!
I have not been on this board in a few weeks but as I am reading what tonybear and others have said about working I wanted to share my story. I too lost interest in my job. I had a job for over 30 years~it was not just a job it was my passion. Yes I said was... after my non-hodgkins diagnosis and subsequent chemo and radiation I retired and have not looked back. I miss the people but I can call them or meet them for lunch. My priorities did a complete turn around and now I am enjoying retirement and have been on a cleaning and purging out the old stuff frenzy. I have been doing some traveling and seeing friends that I have not seen in a long time. I read more, play more and am raising $ for the ACS relay for life walk again this year. I am a cancer buddy to a friend who has breast cancer, also. My days are full and I know that I will get involved in other things as they come along but I love retirement! I love the changes that I have made in my life and what are now my priorities. Follow your heart. There is something else out there, perhaps right around the corner if you are open to it. Hugs to all Pnktopaz0 -
Time is really more precious than money.
I work for a school district now and earn about as much as your average migrant worker, but my district pays 100% of my PPO premium, I am home at 3:30 P.M., and, I have summers off! I can't afford many of what others might consider necessities, but I have the most precious commodity in the world -- free time. What good are plasma screens with cable when you get home too late and too tired to watch? I live simply and love it.
We can't add days to our lives, but we can reclaim more of what we do have for ourselves.
"Happiness is getting home while the sun is still high in the sky!"
Love and Courage,
Rick0 -
Rick How right you areterato said:Time is really more precious than money.
I work for a school district now and earn about as much as your average migrant worker, but my district pays 100% of my PPO premium, I am home at 3:30 P.M., and, I have summers off! I can't afford many of what others might consider necessities, but I have the most precious commodity in the world -- free time. What good are plasma screens with cable when you get home too late and too tired to watch? I live simply and love it.
We can't add days to our lives, but we can reclaim more of what we do have for ourselves.
"Happiness is getting home while the sun is still high in the sky!"
Love and Courage,
Rick
having recently retired I have a severe pay cut but I do not care. I have everything that I need and time is much more precious then money. I enjoy sitting out in my back yard or on the porch. Having the windows open and smelling spring. Money can't buy that! Hugs, Pnktopaz0 -
Wow......I turned 48 last week (Yeah april 1st) I am ready willing and able toi go back to work........But nobody has contacted me, Should I follow up or am I bugging them?.....I am more than qualified to run any garden centre and I have dropped my resume off at a few........no response as yet, OK I know they dont open until the may 24 weekend but what do I do for the best????????Pnktopaz10 said:Rick How right you are
having recently retired I have a severe pay cut but I do not care. I have everything that I need and time is much more precious then money. I enjoy sitting out in my back yard or on the porch. Having the windows open and smelling spring. Money can't buy that! Hugs, Pnktopaz
Any Imput appreciated. Thanks Jxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Colleges and Universities!tasha_111 said:Wow......I turned 48 last week (Yeah april 1st) I am ready willing and able toi go back to work........But nobody has contacted me, Should I follow up or am I bugging them?.....I am more than qualified to run any garden centre and I have dropped my resume off at a few........no response as yet, OK I know they dont open until the may 24 weekend but what do I do for the best????????
Any Imput appreciated. Thanks Jxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tasha,
A friend worked for a garden center for a commercial nursery until she inquired about a greenhouse position with the University of Chicago, which she received and has been happily employed with for nearly two decades! Having a University of Chicago e-mail address ain't too shabby either!
I understand more schools are "going green" now and should be in need of experts like you.
Good Luck!
Rick0 -
Imputtasha_111 said:Wow......I turned 48 last week (Yeah april 1st) I am ready willing and able toi go back to work........But nobody has contacted me, Should I follow up or am I bugging them?.....I am more than qualified to run any garden centre and I have dropped my resume off at a few........no response as yet, OK I know they dont open until the may 24 weekend but what do I do for the best????????
Any Imput appreciated. Thanks Jxxxxxxxxxxxx
I think that you should follow up on any place that you want to work. Times are hard right now and May is just around the corner. Being assertive shows that you really want to work for whomever... and Your followup may just set you apart from others looking for work... also by the way happy belated birthday! Hugs, Pnktopaz0 -
Teaching after surviving cancerterato said:Time is really more precious than money.
I work for a school district now and earn about as much as your average migrant worker, but my district pays 100% of my PPO premium, I am home at 3:30 P.M., and, I have summers off! I can't afford many of what others might consider necessities, but I have the most precious commodity in the world -- free time. What good are plasma screens with cable when you get home too late and too tired to watch? I live simply and love it.
We can't add days to our lives, but we can reclaim more of what we do have for ourselves.
"Happiness is getting home while the sun is still high in the sky!"
Love and Courage,
Rick
Dear Rick,
I am a 9 month survivor of cervical cancer. I have a year off my teaching job at an int'l school.
I am wondering how you returned to teaching after your cancer. (I assume you taught before.)
I am planning to return to work in sept '09 but teaching and going back to work scares me. My concerns are how to interact with students when teaching is such a "giving" job and how to interact with my colleagues again.
Anyhow, if you have any thoughts or suggestions that would help me a great deal.
Sincerely,
Rowena0 -
Teaching is just one of my mid-life crises!rowenaliu said:Teaching after surviving cancer
Dear Rick,
I am a 9 month survivor of cervical cancer. I have a year off my teaching job at an int'l school.
I am wondering how you returned to teaching after your cancer. (I assume you taught before.)
I am planning to return to work in sept '09 but teaching and going back to work scares me. My concerns are how to interact with students when teaching is such a "giving" job and how to interact with my colleagues again.
Anyhow, if you have any thoughts or suggestions that would help me a great deal.
Sincerely,
Rowena
Rowena,
I went back to grad school after the age of 50 to pursue a teaching certificate and a master of arts in teaching degree. It's crazy, I know, but, what the hell else was I going to do with my time?
Educatingly (sp) yours,
Rick0 -
that's amazing!terato said:Teaching is just one of my mid-life crises!
Rowena,
I went back to grad school after the age of 50 to pursue a teaching certificate and a master of arts in teaching degree. It's crazy, I know, but, what the hell else was I going to do with my time?
Educatingly (sp) yours,
Rick
Hi Rick
That's amazing and inspiring at the same time! I think that i'm inspired to do the opposite as I've been teaching for 10 plus years. Time to branch into something new!
Thanks,
Rowena0
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