Cancer Survivors Network

You are not alone here. This is the place to come where you can say anything you want, cry, rant, laugh, or just listen. We will not disappear on you. Cancer and its treatments can be life-changing, stressful, and mind-boggling events. Getting through them is a process, but, as RE likes to say, doable. Friends who have not been through this sometimes do not know what to do or say -- so they do and say nothing. Many of us have had this experience. You need to concentrate on your care right now. Be good to yourself, take it a day at a time, and know that radiation will end, and slowly the fear will lessen. Ask any questions here. Whatever it is, someone has been through it. Welcome to the club.

Mimi

Hi and welcome, a lot of best friends don't know how to deal with a cancer diagnosis (I found this out the hard way). My husband was less than useless.. But I found a few new friends who were not scared of me and my DX, also hung onto a few old ones. My friends list changes every year; People who I would have expected to stick by me Bogged off and people who I didn't really have that much affinity with, supported me. Hey, you never can tell, just don't take it personally, It is their problem, Not yours. HUGE HUGS Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Welcome Aboard~ you will never find a more supportive, informed and encouraging group of warrior-survivors anywhere! Nothing I can add to the whole friends thing~ except to echo what Tasha said, it is their problem, not yours.

The great thing about this place is, we are here 24 hours a day! There is always something to read, or post about, as you have seen. My mom used to say I would never be lonely if I had something to read! I'm sure she never meant this place ( books is what she had in mind!) but she was correct, nonetheless!

Welcome to the family!

Hugs,
Claudia

Welcome Joyce, so sorry you have to join our club, but I hope you find all that you need here.
The women are intelligent, courageous and wise and will support you all the way. It's a shame about your friend, but you know, you'll probably make better friends along the way. Hope all goes well with your tx.
love
jan

Hi Joyce. I was diagnosed in Aug. 2003. I didn't find this site until after treatment. Glad you found us before yours is finished.

Lots of experience to benefit from here. My guess is that every question or problem you have, someone here has had the same question or problem, and someone (MANY someones!) will be able to offer advice, commiserate, listen, or sympathize.

Lisa

Cancer is a scarey thing for us and those around us. You friend probably is so afraid of losing you that she is doing just that. Well, even though we are afraid, we must face it head on. A cancer survivor is the best friend a cancer survivor can have!!! Welcome
Chris

Hi Molly and welcome. I had two best friends to dissappear when I was dx. One of them came back long after I had finished treatment acting like nothing had ever happened. Not even asking me about dx, treatment or anything. Guess she found out that I wasn't contageous. I guess I scared the other one completely off.

Take care of your skin while doing rads. Get lots of rest so you can play with Molly.

Hugs
Jadie

It is good that you are reaching out.

My friend who is nearly finished with treatments went through many months where I was her only support, on the phone. I live in another city. I kept encouraging her to reach out where she was, not to replace me but to find a friend who'd been through bc.

I think this forum will be helpful for you.

Welcome Joyce, so glad you found us. I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in June 2007. Had a mastectomy, lymph nodes were clean but still had to go through 8 rounds of chemo because they found some cancer cells in the blood vessels in the breast. I found this site right after I finished my treatment and would have loved to have found it before because I learned so much from my fellow warriors. We hope we can give you support and you are not alone in this journey. We are walking with you every step of the way. It's hard for some people to accept a cancer diagnosis. It almost feels like it will happen to someone else and not to us or someone close to us, so I can imagine your friend is having a hard time coming to grips because it hit closer to home than she is comfortable with. We are all here for you so post often and thanks for making us your friend. Hugs, Lili

Hi Joyce, So glad that that you have found this site. Like some of the others, I did not find it till after my treatment. Treatment would have been a lot less scarier if I had been able to chat with evetyone here.

Please feel comfortable to voice your fears and concerns here. Everyone is very kind and supportive. I feel lucky to have such wonderful friends here. You now have a huge support system here and can come here day and night. Welcome and God bless. Eil

I would love to be added to your friends list! I'm sorry your friend has vanished, friends and loved ones can each act so differently. Some can handle it and some can't. It is their own fear. It doesn't take long to find out who will be there for you and who wont..and some of the ones you never expected to be will, and the ones you expected to be wont.

I am so glad you joined our group. You will never be alone. You find support through your fears, anger, sadness or joy (yes we do still find joy in our lives and lotsa laughter too!

welcome and God bless,
jackie

sorry you feal so along. hug to you just letting you no you will be in a circle of love in here. we all care about you and your hugs and love coming to u.

Glad you found us Joyce, I am quite sure you will find many new supportive, caring and informative friends here, I sure have! Keep your chin up it will be over and done before you know it. We are here for you and more than happy to be your friends.

HUGS to you,

RE

Hi Joyce. I just read your "about me" page and it was almost like reading MY "about me" page. Your age is given between 60-69 ... and I just turned 65 two weeks ago. I had my lumpectomy on 1/21 and thought all I'd need was radiation ... but one of the lab results came back HER2+ so my oncologist told me I really needed to have chemo. I honestly couldn't believe what he was telling me. I have always considered myself to be the BIGGEST chicken on earth and totally terrified of ALL needles! The word "chemo" was the last word I ever wanted to hear because I was positive I could NEVER in a million years do "it."

Then ... I found this website and it's been a blessing. Somehow by reading the questions/answers/comments ... and asking questions of my own ... I realized somehow ... that if these women can go through what they've gone through ... I CAN do "it." After all ... I am one of the "lucky" ones ... no mastectomy. I just had a small lump removed and needed some medicine to keep "it" from coming back. Once I made the decision I could do chemo ... I really fought the idea of having a port "installed" ... but again ... after reading what's on the website about ports ... I realized I could do THAT too. And ... I did. I had my port installed on March 6th and had my first chemo on the 13th. The folks at the oncologist's office couldn't figure out why I was so insistant that I start my chemo on Friday the 13th ... but when I told them it was my BIRTHday totally understood.

The port "installation" was much easier than I thought and the first week it just felt "strange" but now ... I don't even notice it being there. My first chemo was not bad at all. I wasn't sure what to expect ... but a few people on this website suggested EMLA cream to numb the port area so I wouldn't feel the needle go in and that has helped a LOT. I also take a xanax before my appointment. And I have had zero side effects. Zero. When I get home from chemo I take an anti-nausea pill (just in case) ... then I take 2 the next day just to be sure. No nausea! In fact ... last week was a breeze. I slept through 99% of the treatment. :-) Between the benedryl drip (and my xanax) and the relaxation CD I had going through my earphones ... I just pulled the blankets up ... and I was snoozing away in no time... and woke up very rested. :-)

You say you feel alone and I do understand that feeling. I've been divorced for 1000 years and live alone (with my 2 cats) and I wasn't sure I could make it on this "journey" alone ... but this website has given me many new friends who know what I'm thinking and feeling and they are all there for me. It's like hundreds of hugs through the computer. It's amazing. These are strong people and it is truly a gift that they share that strength with others.

We are all here ... and you are NOT alone. We're all here for you ... and with you on your journey.

Hugs,
Teena

I'm finishing radiation for Stage IIIB ... mastectomy/lumptectomy ... I understand the feeling of being alone during the bc journey. My husband has been very strong, tolerant and supportive through all this. But he and I have been an island dealing with the cancer and all the other stuff life throws at you.

Here's another web site that the cancer center social worker gave to me ... www.networkofstrength.org. Check it out if you like.

You're not alone. But I understand that it sure feels like that sometimes. Good that you have reached out to this group, now try to reach out to other people in your area. I called a friend of mine last night and apologized for not keeping in better touch. I get depressed about all this, and I had been crying a lot, and choose not to talk with people. Well, my friend, Bev, reminded me it is OK to reach out, and that being around other people helps to take your mind off your own situation.

I'm sure that are some people out there who would love to hear from you.

MollysGMA:

Why don't you call the American Cancer Society in your location and try to go to one of their support group. I had attended one last Tues - March 24, 2009 and it was wonderful. The people in my support group were a 14, 10, 7 year cancer survivors and they have dedicated their lives to helping new patients diagnosed with BC. We only meet 2x a month - you are not obligated to go everytime. Also, I started volunteering yesterday with my local ACS, just like you, I was so depressed, not understanding why????? So I went ahead and called the lady in charge at ACS - Dublin and told her I am ready to work.

I was just there about 2 hours and was just preparing packets for Kaiser Patients....I am also scared about my upcoming Chemo next Wed - April 1....I don't know what to expect but with the experiences and opinions of our sisters in this Board, I have learned a lot. Don't worry, we are here to support each other.

Joy

Hiya Joyce! I added you right back! By the way, the only reason I could ever sound like a warrior is because I am about one year away from treatment. During treatment I was a total wus. Cried, despaired, tried everything I could think of to make the trouble go away. And during that time I WAS a warrior (even if I didn't sound like one) because that is what being a warrior looks like. Taking it all without a tear or fear is what being a robot looks like! I think of the 24 responses you have gotten so far they are probably from 24 warrior/wuses too. So, you know you are far from alone.
Even though it would be heaven to have the just right supporting friend who knows when to call and when to send flowers and when to listen, it is a hard role for someone to fill. But when it comes to this site, I have found the sisters easily provide just right support, there whenever I need it. You too provide it for us.
WE will get through this. Love, Joyce

dear Joyce, Hi my new friend. My heart went out to you when I read that you felt alone. I can relate too, but it will pass. Heres my story on that.
When I was first diagnosed, my family was horrified. (Im divorced) I was truely scared and it was too much for my mom and siblings. I think they were as scared as I was but they quickly backed off. I couldnt let my kids know or see my fear, I felt I had to be strong for them. It was a long and lonely process, but I did find comfort in God. I began to read the bible more and I ran across this story about a sick lady who chased Jesus and her faith was so strong she knew if she could just touch his robe she was be better, and she did grab Jesus robe and Jesus felt her faith and he felt the healing power going to her from him.VISUALIZE THAT FOR YOURSELF. The friend will eventually come back then its your decision to rekindle that friendship and let her know that you get it. She ran from the unknown. Were your friends. Add me to your list. Taslk to anytime sister. Im here for you. Love tami

Welcome, I've found reading the posts to be very comforting - it helps me know I'm not alone. Thanks for adding me to your friends - I've added you to mine. I find it hard to believe that any of the brave souls are wusses - when you reflect on all you've been through and you only broke down into tears a handful of times, I consider every last one of us brave, courageous women and yes warriors is more than appropriate.

I too am a newcomer and have found myself in much the same situation as you describe. Yes, friends tend to make themselves scarce, so I'm glad to have found this site. I had lumpectomy for Stage II bc in June, 08 followed by 8 weeks of radiation. I'm now on Arimidex for 5 years. I was fascinated to read the experiences others have had with this drug and to know that each new pain that presents itself is not all in my head!

This is my 2nd time with breast cancer, but, I still have lots of questions and concerns. It is so nice to have a place like this to ask, discuss and talk our concerns over with other women going thru cancer.

Welcome, Joyce, and we are all pulling for you! You will find a lot of wonderful, supportive people in this group - I don't know what I would have done with out it!

Ohilly

I am new to the site also. I had the same breast cancer as you. I am now done with both chemo and radition. I have been out of work for 4 wks on sick leave. I ended up with neuropathy from my Taxol. I am currently on my 3rd prescription called Lyrica. It seems to be working but I am getting many reactions from it. The Dr. and Pharmacists tell me that in time my body with get used to the Lyrica and the side effects with go away. I am getting better. The cancer deal can be so difficult. My friends and sister were great and boy did I use them. These sites are so helpful in knowing that you are not alone in how you feel. Please take care..

Molly, you will never be alone. You have all of these wonderful people on this site to help you thru it. Remember that!