Just told I have breast cancer

Options
kittiekris
kittiekris Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was just diagnosed last week and I have accepted the results. My mom had it young, her mom had it, I knew it was coming. I am scared but I have accepted this and I know in my soul everything will be okay. What I didn't expect is all the tests, scans and WAITING. I know my options, I have made my decision for my surgery but I still have to wait. No date has been set and it seems as one may not be set for another month. I am frustrated. I want to jump right in and get through my treatment. I’m trying to be patient because I know they are doing everything that is necessary and have my best interests in mind but the waiting, it’s killing me. And yes I know it's only been a week but I guess I am just so anxious for this part of my life to be over. Any advice or encouraging words would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #2
    Options
    Welcome
    So sorry that you have to be here. It sounds like you know quite a bit about breast cancer from your family history. The waiting is so very difficult, to be sure. We just want to be treated and get on with our lives. I know it is hard. Now is the time to get educated about breast cancer and the decisions you will be facing. I found it very helpful to be an active participant in my care, asking as many questions as possible, and knowing as much as I can. As much as breast cancer can consume your life, please remember to be good to yourself as well. Treat yourself well and gently. This ride is rocky, but it's something that you can definitely get through. The wonderful ladies on this site have all been in your position, just diagnosed and scared. They helped me through scary, uncertain times, and good times. Now, my treatments are coming to an end and I can see the rest of my life beginning new. You will, too. Becoming a part of this community can be a god-send. We are here for you.

    Mimi
  • Ltalcott
    Ltalcott Member Posts: 119
    #3
    Options
    the waiting game
    Yes, I think the waiting is the hardest part.

    I got my diagnosis on 2/4/09, diagnosis of the second cancer on the second breast on 2/18/09, and had bilateral mastectomies with immediate reconstruction on 3/4. I'm about 3 weeks post surgery, and while this is hard--I can do something. Breathe into the gizmo to keep my lungs inflated in the hospital postsurgery, walk to regain strength, drink water (which I usually hate) to flush out toxins and get 'regular' again...

    You are lucky to have found this site--knowledge is such power. This isn't the medical knowledge, but we can give you our experiences. If you've got an idea of what's coming (of how someone else did it), you are sure better off.

    Best of luck.

    Lisa
  • chriss26
    chriss26 Member Posts: 18
    #4
    Options
    You can never have enough
    You can never have enough education on this subject. The web is the greatest tool. Use it and love you doctors. You will see them a lot. If you don't feel comfortable with them, CHANGE. I did. I needed to be part of my decisions and the first doctor wanted me to trust all his decisions and not question them. SORRY. And when you need advise and friends from those who have been there, we are a click away! Chris
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #5
    Options
    KittieKris
    You have come to the right place as far as encouragement, support and friendship from all our courageous and sweet sisters. I'm so sorry you have to play the waiting game. The uncertainty and fear is the absolute worst!! I was like you all i wanted was to hurry up and start fighting. You sound very brave. Listen to your soul and to us. everything WILL be alright. Let us know what your results are. We will be hear to listen anytime nite or day. Good luck and God Bless,
    jackie
  • MollysGma
    MollysGma Member Posts: 13
    #6
    Options
    get smart while you wait
    Hi, I didn't know or have anyone in the family that had had breast cancer. I wish all women were at least informed about this, maybe in school? Anyway, now is the time for you to get smart while you wait. I wish I'd known more about the whole process at the beginning. While I waited I read everything I could find, contacted the American Cancer Society and they sent more stuff to me to read. The surgeon didn't tell me much and I wish now I'd changed doctors before he did anything. After biopsy surgery I needed a sentinel node biopsy and didn't expect to wake up with a lumpectomy requiring a hospital stay and drain, followed with lymphodema. How I wish I'd known about this website before all that! Now though I've been part of the decisions since seeing an oncologist. Going through radiation right now.

    Good luck and I hope you can move on soon. Keep coming here, it's really informative and encouraging, even though I was told to "stay away from online chats, etc.!"

    MollysGrandmaJoyce
  • Ltalcott
    Ltalcott Member Posts: 119
    #7
    Options
    MollysGma said:

    get smart while you wait
    Hi, I didn't know or have anyone in the family that had had breast cancer. I wish all women were at least informed about this, maybe in school? Anyway, now is the time for you to get smart while you wait. I wish I'd known more about the whole process at the beginning. While I waited I read everything I could find, contacted the American Cancer Society and they sent more stuff to me to read. The surgeon didn't tell me much and I wish now I'd changed doctors before he did anything. After biopsy surgery I needed a sentinel node biopsy and didn't expect to wake up with a lumpectomy requiring a hospital stay and drain, followed with lymphodema. How I wish I'd known about this website before all that! Now though I've been part of the decisions since seeing an oncologist. Going through radiation right now.

    Good luck and I hope you can move on soon. Keep coming here, it's really informative and encouraging, even though I was told to "stay away from online chats, etc.!"

    MollysGrandmaJoyce

    cautions about chat lines
    I think the cautions are more about websites that might give you incorrect medical information. You want to research through known (safe, reputible?) sites, the American Cancer Society, Komen, MD Anderson hospital has a great website.

    I've yet to read a single thing on this line that I think anyone could object to--there is some straight talk about symptoms, but no one is trying to scare anybody, just educate.

    And people making fun of themselves and shooting darts at that evil monster cancer!

    I'm glad I found this site when I did. Don't even remember how I ended up here!

    Lisa
  • bfbear
    bfbear Member Posts: 380
    #8
    Options
    I'm right there with you!
    I totally understand your frustration, because I'm going through it too.

    I was formerly diagnosed last Friday the 13th (ha, ha), but even that diagnosis was after two biopsies, two weeks apart (I went to visit my daughter and her kids in between the two, because the visit had been set months ago...). My first appointment with my surgeon-to-be is April 2, and I am having an MRI tomorrow.

    So I've been at this over a month with no real plan of attack yet, either, and like you I want to get all my ducks in a row and move on and through all this...or at least know what the next step is. And, at least for now, I feel "educated out," because I've read so much on the Susan Komen site, plus the book, "Breast Cancer for Dummies," which another survivor recommended.

    So I don't know if it helps, but at least know I'm waiting with you.
  • tami90650
    tami90650 Member Posts: 82
    #9
    Options
    wow
    wow your headstrong determination to get this done and out of the way to move on in your life is AWSOME. Sorry about the wait. I got that too. But Its all over and Im actually a better person from it all. what kind of surgery? What stage are you?
  • ohilly
    ohilly Member Posts: 441
    #10
    Options
    BRCA
    You talk about your family history of bc: have you been tested for the BRCA gene? I am BRCA 1. If you have not been tested, I would encourage you to do this because it may influence the treatment choices you make (if you are BRCA 1, it is more likely bc can come back in the other breast, so in my case, I had a preventive mastectomy on the other side after having a mastectomy for cancer).

    Good luck: you will make it through!

    Ohilly
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #11
    Options
    Good Luck to you Kris
    Just be patient..I know it is hard to do, but, everything will happen in due time. I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts. Call your oncologist and tell them what you wrote..tell them about your anxiety. Your oncologist is the one to speed you along..if it can be done. Take Care and stay in touch!
  • chili
    chili Member Posts: 32
    #12
    Options
    Welcome
    I agree that the waiting is a pain, especially when you know something's not right and no one will tell you anything. Once I got the diagnosis however, everything went very quickly - I had an MRI, consult with the surgeon, needle localization and lumpectomy within 2 weeks. Every doctor I went to loaded me up with booklets, pamphlets, and other information - I read everything I could get my hands on, and still learn something new everytime I read a post. We've all become experts after the fact and learn new things as we go. I wish you the best, and hugs every day.
  • jeanne1948
    jeanne1948 Member Posts: 18
    #13
    Options
    I understand
    In the beginning I felt as you. One test after another. Waiting between each. But there is a reason and they are important. Now that I am done with both chemo and radiation for about 1 month, I can tell you that you will be surprised at just how tough you can be. I always looked at my friends going through cancer with such respect because they just endured so much and thought I could never do it. Well, I did and so can you. The support system for breast cancer is wonderful. Take advantage of everything you can as far as support. I used my wonderful sister and many friends. Some friends were great in just listening, some laughed with me and others just let me cry. Still others were my encouragers. My cancer center offered support and the team there were great too. Just know that you and all those going through cancer are in my prayers everyday. Take care and stay tough...Jeanne
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #14
    Options
    I will pray for you Kris.
    I will pray for you Kris. Please stay strong and post on here whenever you feel the need to ask questions or just to vent. Let us know how you do please!
  • irishmum055
    irishmum055 Member Posts: 19
    #15
    Options
    good luck
    all will be ok for you i know the waiting is not nice yhe worry the fear i have been there and soon u will be on here telling other people about it and encouraging them its been 17 years sence i had breast cancer had 6 months of chemo and all going good now and u will be just fine i will pray for u keep thinking positive hugs x let us know how all goes for u god bless u
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #16
    Options
    KittieKris and BfBear
    I also sympathize with you both and experienced the same anxiety/stress of waiting between diagnosis and action. This period is the most difficult, as I think most of us found. But things will happen very quickly as you get to surgery.

    My advice would be to use this time to prepare and to complete any projects or plans, whether for yourself, the house, your family/friends, or work. Once you have surgery, and especially if you have chemo and/or radiation, you will be very tired for awhile. Now is the time to finish any tasks, whether around the house or just shopping for things you will need for the spring/summer. I would also read past posts to learn more directly from women who have been there before you and so generously share their wisdom and experiences. I would not be surviving as I am now without this board and our sisters here. You will find much information but also love and laughter.

    My best wishes to you. Please let us know how you are doing and don't hesitate to post any questions, concerns, or just vent.
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #17
    Options
    bfbear said:

    I'm right there with you!
    I totally understand your frustration, because I'm going through it too.

    I was formerly diagnosed last Friday the 13th (ha, ha), but even that diagnosis was after two biopsies, two weeks apart (I went to visit my daughter and her kids in between the two, because the visit had been set months ago...). My first appointment with my surgeon-to-be is April 2, and I am having an MRI tomorrow.

    So I've been at this over a month with no real plan of attack yet, either, and like you I want to get all my ducks in a row and move on and through all this...or at least know what the next step is. And, at least for now, I feel "educated out," because I've read so much on the Susan Komen site, plus the book, "Breast Cancer for Dummies," which another survivor recommended.

    So I don't know if it helps, but at least know I'm waiting with you.

    Good luck to you Bfbear!
    Good luck to you Bfbear! Please let us know how you do!
  • kittiekris
    kittiekris Member Posts: 3
    #18
    Options
    bfbear said:

    I'm right there with you!
    I totally understand your frustration, because I'm going through it too.

    I was formerly diagnosed last Friday the 13th (ha, ha), but even that diagnosis was after two biopsies, two weeks apart (I went to visit my daughter and her kids in between the two, because the visit had been set months ago...). My first appointment with my surgeon-to-be is April 2, and I am having an MRI tomorrow.

    So I've been at this over a month with no real plan of attack yet, either, and like you I want to get all my ducks in a row and move on and through all this...or at least know what the next step is. And, at least for now, I feel "educated out," because I've read so much on the Susan Komen site, plus the book, "Breast Cancer for Dummies," which another survivor recommended.

    So I don't know if it helps, but at least know I'm waiting with you.

    Thank you, it does help to
    Thank you, it does help to know this is normal and there are others just waiting like me.
  • kittiekris
    kittiekris Member Posts: 3
    #19
    Options
    tami90650 said:

    wow
    wow your headstrong determination to get this done and out of the way to move on in your life is AWSOME. Sorry about the wait. I got that too. But Its all over and Im actually a better person from it all. what kind of surgery? What stage are you?

    I will be having a bilateral
    I will be having a bilateral mastectomy. I only have a tumor in the right breast but do to my family history, I wanted the bilateral. I was finally informed on Monday I have the go ahead for surgery. They were waiting for my genetic test results to come back but I know what I want. And the genetic results may not come back for another 2 weeks. I am 28 with breast cancer, my mom was 33. My decision was made then. I am not sure what stage I am in. They want to wait to figure that part out until after the surgery. It’s already in my lymph nodes and they want to find out how far it is.
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #20
    Options
    kittiekris said:

    I will be having a bilateral
    I will be having a bilateral mastectomy. I only have a tumor in the right breast but do to my family history, I wanted the bilateral. I was finally informed on Monday I have the go ahead for surgery. They were waiting for my genetic test results to come back but I know what I want. And the genetic results may not come back for another 2 weeks. I am 28 with breast cancer, my mom was 33. My decision was made then. I am not sure what stage I am in. They want to wait to figure that part out until after the surgery. It’s already in my lymph nodes and they want to find out how far it is.

    I will pray for you and keep
    I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts daily! I was 34 the first time I got breast cancer and it is hard when you are young, very hard. But there again..it is just plain hard to have breast cancer, young or not so young. It is a very difficult journey. Reach out to your family, friends, religious counselor, anyone that can give you support. And, this site is excellent! I have learned more from here than from my doctor's. HMMM..maybe we should all get a medical license. What you think? lol

Discussion Boards