On March 11th 2009 I went to see a Dr. for some strange symptoms I was having, she wanted me to have blood work done, which I did the next day...a few hours later I got an alarming call from her saying that I needed to see a certain Dr. right away, an oncologist. She informed me that this Dr. wanted to see me THAT day. So my husband and I rushed over, and I was SCARED out of my mind! When they called my name to go back...I just remember being more and more scared with every step, and sitting in that room waiting for the Dr was torture, when she came in...after introducing herself, she started to explain to my husband and I that my white blood count is very high, and that she believes I have CML. (there was more to it, but that's it in a nutshell).
I just remember thinking this can't be real, this can't be happening to me, I'm only 34 years old! I feel too healthy to have cancer, I have 3 kids I need to be there for, and continue raising, and I have a great husband who I planned on being married to forever!
The doctor then proceeds to tell me she wants to take a biopsy of my bone marrow...like right then, at that moment...so it can be sent off,so they can find out if CML is in fact what I have (I have major anxiety when it comes to being poked,and prodded) so needless to say I was terrified, and with good reason, here it is March 14th, and I'm still sore!
The oncologist Dr. says that once we get the results back, and if it confirms she was right, then she wants to start me on Gleevec....which Iv'e heard great things about (I'm a little worried about side effects, but I want to do whatever I need to to kick this diseases ass)!! Hopefully the side effects, if any aren't unbearable.
I'm still having a hard time believing this is real, I don't know that it's hit me yet.
None of my family or friends know yet, I don't know how to tell them, and I'm worried they will treat me different, I don't want to be pittied, and I don't want everyone constantly asking how I'm feeling, or how I'm handling it (don't get me wrong, I know they would mean well), but I just want to try to maintain a normal life, I also don't even know if I want to tell my kids, because I don't want them to be scared.
I am curious about a lot of things, like how likely is it that this disease could take a turn for the worse,as far as it going to the phases that are considered "worse"? And What are the chances of dying from it? Or being put in a wheelchair from it? And is it important to get a second opinion? And how do you not go into a depression after finding something like this out?
If anyone with this disease could answer my questions, or let me know how, or if you told your family, and friends, and if you are taking Gleevec how it's working for you, and if you have side effects....I'd GREATLY appreciate it!
I just really need to not feel alone in this.
Thank You, Dawn