what the beauty specialist said/Ohilly
Then I asked her about the back of my head: she said I am wrong to see bald spots, that the hair did grow completely back, however the issue is that it grew in in cowlicks and the color is too dark. She said it would look better if she strips the dark color and puts a lighter one. So I felt good about this advice. I also feel that with a hairpiece, at least there is a solution, but it's kind of humiliating to think about having to wear one.
I have an appointment to see a dermatologist on March 20, and am going to ask her about Rogaine.
Thanks to everyone who has responded to my multiple posts about hair. I think for me personally, this is one of the most difficult parts of my post treatment life. I know it is crazy, but I feel deformed, as if I have a leg missing. I can't stop thinking about the beautiful hair I used to have, and I look at everyone else's hair who passes by. It does comfort me somewhat that you can get a nice looking hairpiece - if there is anyone out there who has done this, please email me.
My hair has been growing back for 5 1/2 months so far, so I'm praying it will continue on its path to get thicker naturally and I won't have to go the hairpiece route. If I do, I do, though: I adjusted to wearing the wig, so this may be something else I'll have to accept.
Ohilly
Comments
-
Based on my own experience,
Based on my own experience, and what I have read and heard from the majority of survivors, I expect you will grow a full head of hair, even though it may be new and different than it was pre-chemo. For some it comes in different, then goes back to pre-chemo texture and color after many months. I am glad you have gotten some advice that you can trust and I hope it all goes well for you.
seof0 -
post-treatment changesseof said:Based on my own experience,
Based on my own experience, and what I have read and heard from the majority of survivors, I expect you will grow a full head of hair, even though it may be new and different than it was pre-chemo. For some it comes in different, then goes back to pre-chemo texture and color after many months. I am glad you have gotten some advice that you can trust and I hope it all goes well for you.
seof
Seof, I think the larger issue here is that I am struggling to accept that my life has been permanently altered. My hair may get better, (and I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I could get a hairpiece if necessary), but I now firmly believe that it will always be different than before. When I was going thru the treatment, I just assumed my life would go back to what it was before once the treatment was over. But it hasn't: everything is different. I have this constant feeling of something hanging over me (fear of recurrence), the way you felt in school when you had a term paper due and hadn't written it yet. Do you have any struggles accepting your changed life, Seof? I'm sure all survivors must feel this way to different degrees.
Thanks for replying,
Ohilly0 -
Life is very different whenohilly said:post-treatment changes
Seof, I think the larger issue here is that I am struggling to accept that my life has been permanently altered. My hair may get better, (and I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I could get a hairpiece if necessary), but I now firmly believe that it will always be different than before. When I was going thru the treatment, I just assumed my life would go back to what it was before once the treatment was over. But it hasn't: everything is different. I have this constant feeling of something hanging over me (fear of recurrence), the way you felt in school when you had a term paper due and hadn't written it yet. Do you have any struggles accepting your changed life, Seof? I'm sure all survivors must feel this way to different degrees.
Thanks for replying,
Ohilly
Life is very different when treatment ends. The aches, pain, exhaustion, worry about recurrence and changes in appearance are a constant reminder of what we've gone through. Your hair issue (mine too) is a reminder every time we look in the mirror of what has happened. Looks like you may be on your way to feeling better about your hair. Day by day I'm getting better and I'm hoping the same for you!0 -
Ohilly I can totally relateohilly said:post-treatment changes
Seof, I think the larger issue here is that I am struggling to accept that my life has been permanently altered. My hair may get better, (and I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I could get a hairpiece if necessary), but I now firmly believe that it will always be different than before. When I was going thru the treatment, I just assumed my life would go back to what it was before once the treatment was over. But it hasn't: everything is different. I have this constant feeling of something hanging over me (fear of recurrence), the way you felt in school when you had a term paper due and hadn't written it yet. Do you have any struggles accepting your changed life, Seof? I'm sure all survivors must feel this way to different degrees.
Thanks for replying,
Ohilly
Ohilly I can totally relate to how you are feeling. It has been hard for me too with adjusting to life after chemo. I also resent that everything has changed. The fear of recurrence is real and I think of it often but less and less as the months pass.
I try to concentrate on enjoying each day because cancer has taught me that life is not only fragile but extremely short. I try not to let cancer and worrying about cancer steal or spoil any more precious moments of life. I'm not always successful but I keep working on it.
Ohilly, I know its hard but we should try to focus on living life and enjoying all the little things that make us happy. We beat cancer and now we must really take advantage of the time we have earned. I don't want to get to my golden years and have regrets or wish I could go back and do things differently. Be happy you deserve it. Eil.0 -
The new you
I can so relate to everything you are saying. I wrote this poem that sums up how I feel now.\
Hugs,
Ladydi1
The Me In The Mirror
Try as I will to make her appear,
The "me" in the mirror is no longer there.
And it's not just a breast now missing or changed;
Or my new curly do that I try hard to arrange.
It's the darkness and aloneness
That now shadow my days,
Can't be seen by friends and family
Who thought my cancer a "phase"
And I struggle to find my way back into the light
To put a bounce in my step and to sleep through the night;
Yet as I go through the motions of my daily routine
Can't move forward, can't move back, don't want to be seen.
They tell me it will get better,
But I have my doubts
For I'm still down in the cancer pit,
Trying to claw my way out!0 -
New youladydi1 said:The new you
I can so relate to everything you are saying. I wrote this poem that sums up how I feel now.\
Hugs,
Ladydi1
The Me In The Mirror
Try as I will to make her appear,
The "me" in the mirror is no longer there.
And it's not just a breast now missing or changed;
Or my new curly do that I try hard to arrange.
It's the darkness and aloneness
That now shadow my days,
Can't be seen by friends and family
Who thought my cancer a "phase"
And I struggle to find my way back into the light
To put a bounce in my step and to sleep through the night;
Yet as I go through the motions of my daily routine
Can't move forward, can't move back, don't want to be seen.
They tell me it will get better,
But I have my doubts
For I'm still down in the cancer pit,
Trying to claw my way out!
How beautifully put!
Perfect! Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Post treatment changesohilly said:post-treatment changes
Seof, I think the larger issue here is that I am struggling to accept that my life has been permanently altered. My hair may get better, (and I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I could get a hairpiece if necessary), but I now firmly believe that it will always be different than before. When I was going thru the treatment, I just assumed my life would go back to what it was before once the treatment was over. But it hasn't: everything is different. I have this constant feeling of something hanging over me (fear of recurrence), the way you felt in school when you had a term paper due and hadn't written it yet. Do you have any struggles accepting your changed life, Seof? I'm sure all survivors must feel this way to different degrees.
Thanks for replying,
Ohilly
I just finished reading the responses from people about changes. Boy can I identify with them. I think life will never be the same. I had chemo Jan-June 2008, Surgery in Aug and Radiation in Sept/Oct and just had my port out three weeks ago. So I'm now in the 2nd year. They say when you get a diagnosis of cancer look two years down the road: one for treatment and one for recovery. I am thankful for the advances in treatment etc. but I find it difficult nonetheless. I don't think people who are not in our place understand that you really live with this the rest of your life. Not that it consumes you, it's just there. Fortunately until cancer I was pretty healthy and that has gone now. I find it difficult that I don't have the energy and stamina I had before. I've been able to keep working through all of this but have had to give up a lot of extra activities I really found meaningful (teaching at a university, working on commissions in our church, etc.) I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to add a few things back in. Anyway, just to let you know my hair is finally growing back too. They tell you after you finish chemo your hair will grow back. What they don't say is it will take quite a few months before there's really anything to see. I finished in June and it wasn't until after Thanksgiving that I took off my wig. I realize this is a long answer but I just got started and couldn't stop my random thoughts.
cem0 -
Thanks you LadyDi, howladydi1 said:The new you
I can so relate to everything you are saying. I wrote this poem that sums up how I feel now.\
Hugs,
Ladydi1
The Me In The Mirror
Try as I will to make her appear,
The "me" in the mirror is no longer there.
And it's not just a breast now missing or changed;
Or my new curly do that I try hard to arrange.
It's the darkness and aloneness
That now shadow my days,
Can't be seen by friends and family
Who thought my cancer a "phase"
And I struggle to find my way back into the light
To put a bounce in my step and to sleep through the night;
Yet as I go through the motions of my daily routine
Can't move forward, can't move back, don't want to be seen.
They tell me it will get better,
But I have my doubts
For I'm still down in the cancer pit,
Trying to claw my way out!
Thanks you LadyDi, how cleverly it relates to a lot of what we are feeling. Hugs, Lili0 -
hair issues
Your message describes where I am as well. My hair has been growing back for seven months but still is not normal on the top and upper back. I did go the hairpiece route and am thankful to have it. However I continue to hope every day that my hair will return to normal so I can go out without the hairpiece or a hat.
I understand your feelings so completely. I knew I would loose my hair and accepted that fact. My wig looked just like my hair and I adjusted to that as well. Now I just want to get on with my life without being reminded every time I look in the mirror that I have had cancer.
I have considered Rogaine as well and will look forward to hearing what your dermatologist recommends. As I understand it Rogaine only works as long as you use it daily and the hair that grows is not like the other hair that grows naturally.
I wish you the very best with your search for information about your hair as I continue on the same quest
mgh0 -
hair after chemo
I have what I call Chemo hair. My last chemo was December 26, 2007. I have had my hair cut 5 times. The back is doing ok - very thick and so is the front. But my normally wavy hair is like thick cotton around my face. I just had it all cut off again. Someone described the front as a brillo pad but I really can't describe it. It is totally unmanageable and all the creams and treatments have not affected it at all. Of course, the front is coming in gray and that may have something to do with it. Anyone else having this problem? I love my wigs, so I am happily wearing them but sure would like to have manageble hair.0 -
Hair Hair!
I am Not my hair
I am Not my skin,
I am Not your expectations
I am Not my hair,
I am Not my skin,
I am the spirit
which lives within....
This song is not about cancer, nor chemo~ it is actually about the evolution of styles, fads/fashions, yes, EXPECTATIONS of who we should be, and what we think we should look like, not just to ourselves, but to those on the outside.
I am sorry your hair troubles you still, Ohilly~ but I am also happy that you are finding solutions and encouragement to be happy and know you will have a beautiful Crowning Glory! A hairpiece? Go For It! When I was younger and naive, I used to wonder how on earth my favorite actresses could end a TV season and come back in the new season with beautiful, long locks! I thought it had something to do with their entire "golden" life; not only were they rich and famous, their hair grew FAST! Of course I know now they were extensions, and wigs, and hairpieces, any boost they had available to make themselves look any way they want to! And so can you!!! DO IT!! Hooray for you!
"Well, I've been 'fraid of changes, cause I've built my life around YOU"...This oldie from Fleetwood Mac, entitled Landslide, was also NOT about hair of course, but again, about Life Changes. So, do what you have to do to be the Woman you need to be!
Hugs and Happy Hair Growing!
Claudia0 -
Claudiachenheart said:Hair Hair!
I am Not my hair
I am Not my skin,
I am Not your expectations
I am Not my hair,
I am Not my skin,
I am the spirit
which lives within....
This song is not about cancer, nor chemo~ it is actually about the evolution of styles, fads/fashions, yes, EXPECTATIONS of who we should be, and what we think we should look like, not just to ourselves, but to those on the outside.
I am sorry your hair troubles you still, Ohilly~ but I am also happy that you are finding solutions and encouragement to be happy and know you will have a beautiful Crowning Glory! A hairpiece? Go For It! When I was younger and naive, I used to wonder how on earth my favorite actresses could end a TV season and come back in the new season with beautiful, long locks! I thought it had something to do with their entire "golden" life; not only were they rich and famous, their hair grew FAST! Of course I know now they were extensions, and wigs, and hairpieces, any boost they had available to make themselves look any way they want to! And so can you!!! DO IT!! Hooray for you!
"Well, I've been 'fraid of changes, cause I've built my life around YOU"...This oldie from Fleetwood Mac, entitled Landslide, was also NOT about hair of course, but again, about Life Changes. So, do what you have to do to be the Woman you need to be!
Hugs and Happy Hair Growing!
Claudia
You always say the perfect thing! I also wish you good luck with your
hair Ohilly. I know this has been bothering you for some time!0 -
It just breaks my heart...ladydi1 said:The new you
I can so relate to everything you are saying. I wrote this poem that sums up how I feel now.\
Hugs,
Ladydi1
The Me In The Mirror
Try as I will to make her appear,
The "me" in the mirror is no longer there.
And it's not just a breast now missing or changed;
Or my new curly do that I try hard to arrange.
It's the darkness and aloneness
That now shadow my days,
Can't be seen by friends and family
Who thought my cancer a "phase"
And I struggle to find my way back into the light
To put a bounce in my step and to sleep through the night;
Yet as I go through the motions of my daily routine
Can't move forward, can't move back, don't want to be seen.
They tell me it will get better,
But I have my doubts
For I'm still down in the cancer pit,
Trying to claw my way out!
when I see you ladies struggling with the 'new normal' and trying to find a comfortable spot to be in it.
I am a 23 year breast cancer survivor. From '86 through '90 I was in active treatment, then went on tamoxifen for 7 years, then megase for 5 more years. For the last 7 years or so I have been off all treatments and post-treatments.
I will not lie and say things are ever the same....but I am NOT lying when I say they can be GOOD again.
Yes, my hair is permanently thin in front (probably male-pattern balding), yes, I have no 'front' (unless I choose to strap one on), and yes, I have the aches and pains of arthritis and osteoperosis. But who can say whether these things (except maybe the 'front' thing) would not have attacked even if I had not had cancer.
The bottom line for me is that I turned 61 this month. And I am determined to ENJOY IT! I fought hard to get this far and hair and empty fronts and aches and pains are just not going to ruin it for me.
I wish for each and every one of you a time in your future where you can say, 'I did what it took to get here and I am going to make the most of it'!
God bless you all.0 -
Thank you, zahalene...zahalene said:It just breaks my heart...
when I see you ladies struggling with the 'new normal' and trying to find a comfortable spot to be in it.
I am a 23 year breast cancer survivor. From '86 through '90 I was in active treatment, then went on tamoxifen for 7 years, then megase for 5 more years. For the last 7 years or so I have been off all treatments and post-treatments.
I will not lie and say things are ever the same....but I am NOT lying when I say they can be GOOD again.
Yes, my hair is permanently thin in front (probably male-pattern balding), yes, I have no 'front' (unless I choose to strap one on), and yes, I have the aches and pains of arthritis and osteoperosis. But who can say whether these things (except maybe the 'front' thing) would not have attacked even if I had not had cancer.
The bottom line for me is that I turned 61 this month. And I am determined to ENJOY IT! I fought hard to get this far and hair and empty fronts and aches and pains are just not going to ruin it for me.
I wish for each and every one of you a time in your future where you can say, 'I did what it took to get here and I am going to make the most of it'!
God bless you all.
For eloquently putting into words exactly my own feelings, in a way I simply could not have. I will soon be a 6 year survivor - and members here, like you, with so many more years than I truly provide me with precious hope for the future. So, thank you for that, too.
I also feel the hurt our sisters here endure while struggling to find their own "new normals"... And I believe many of us do - and need to - grieve for what's been lost to cancer, before we can "turn the coin over" and focus instead of what's been gained. Which, of course, is life itself. As my onc often gently reminds me: "It's better than the alternative."
Honestly, sometimes while reading the threads/posts - I wish I had a magic wand. To wave for our struggling sisters, and get them to where we are now, sparing them the struggles. But, each of us must find our own way. I can only hope it is sooner, than later, for those not "here" yet.
Best wishes to you, and heartfelt thanks, once again.
Kind regards, Susan0 -
Thanks Sue and Zah; I guessChristmas Girl said:Thank you, zahalene...
For eloquently putting into words exactly my own feelings, in a way I simply could not have. I will soon be a 6 year survivor - and members here, like you, with so many more years than I truly provide me with precious hope for the future. So, thank you for that, too.
I also feel the hurt our sisters here endure while struggling to find their own "new normals"... And I believe many of us do - and need to - grieve for what's been lost to cancer, before we can "turn the coin over" and focus instead of what's been gained. Which, of course, is life itself. As my onc often gently reminds me: "It's better than the alternative."
Honestly, sometimes while reading the threads/posts - I wish I had a magic wand. To wave for our struggling sisters, and get them to where we are now, sparing them the struggles. But, each of us must find our own way. I can only hope it is sooner, than later, for those not "here" yet.
Best wishes to you, and heartfelt thanks, once again.
Kind regards, Susan
Thanks Sue and Zah; I guess it does take longer for some of us to come to terms with the life after cancer. For me it's the ever struggling weight gain. Seems like no matter what I do I just keep gaining weight. The way I eat I should have lost 50 lbs already, but every time I step on the scale I've gained more weight. And it's not just for appearance sake but I'm worried more for my health. I just went for complete blood work and will be going back to the endocrinologist on Thursday. I really think they need to kill off my thyroid so that we can better control both my hormone production and the thyroid functions. but then again, I didn't go to medical school. LOL. I think we need time like our insightful Sue said to mourn the what was so that we can get to the, look what I've accomplished. Thanks to you both for your kind words. Eventually we will "hear" them. Hugs, Lili0 -
acceptanceJeanne D said:Claudia
You always say the perfect thing! I also wish you good luck with your
hair Ohilly. I know this has been bothering you for some time!
These are old posts from me, so please know that by now I have totally accepted my new 'thin in the front and top' hair. It did help that a beauty specialist styled it to camouflage the thin.
Thanks for asking,
Ohilly0 -
It is about the hair!ohilly said:acceptance
These are old posts from me, so please know that by now I have totally accepted my new 'thin in the front and top' hair. It did help that a beauty specialist styled it to camouflage the thin.
Thanks for asking,
Ohilly
Ohilly:
It took 14 mos for my hair to grow back; before it was long blonde and straight, it came back orange, curly and thin in front (proving once again that God does have a sense of humor)
I don't know if you can tell from the picture but a wonderful hairdresser highlighted the front (the back still will not hold color) and created this forward combed look to hide the thin spots---much better than the Donald Trump combover. So yes, there is hope no matter what hair card you are dealt after chemo.
Hugs,
Ladydi10
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