Newly diagnosted today - IDC level 3
I may be going to MD Anderson here in Houston for treatment. How do you get over the schock? Where do you find the courage to face what is coming?
maria j
Comments
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Welcome, Maria
Maria, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The good news is that you have found a wonderful, god-given group here. The outpouring of love and generosity and compassion is overwhelming. I joined recently and just started chemo for stage 3A, mastectomy in November. These wonderful people have kept me going, taught me so much and comforted me beyond words. You have come to the right place. They are true friends in need--and fun, too.
I have heard of MD Anderson and know it has an excellent rep. There is no National Cancer Institute hospital here where I live, but I did get a second opinion from an NCI doctor in St Louis. We went with her recommendation. I would definitely go to MD Anderson if I could.
As for courage, I did not want to know too much right away. I left the details to my husband. The surgeon thought after the surgery that I was worse and told me I was beyond a cure. That stopped my questions. Thank God, the pathology report came back not quite as bad as he expected. Not quite, anyway!
The shock? Well, there is so much that starts to happen that you don't really have time to pause, at least I didn't. Surgery, healing, and planning chemo. I still have times of disbelief. As for courage, faith, family, friends, most of all my husband, and these wonderful ladies, our sisters in pink.
As I said, I have not been here long, with diagnosis in November and joined the board this month. You will hear from others with more knowlege. You are in my prayers. Please don't hesitate to continue posting and ask anything.0 -
SHOCK
For me this was the worst time, the first finding out and the determination of a treatment plan. Once surgery was over and the treatment was in place I felt more in control, like I was doing something about it. This was a very foggy time for me, by that I mean I could not retain all that was being said to me by all the doctors. You may want to start a list of questions you have to take to your next appt as you may forget them when you are in his office. It is also helpful to take a spouse or trusted friend with you to help you to recall all that the doctor tells you. It is like system overload right now and that is to be expected. Take a deep breath Maria we will be here for you. Post when you have questions or just to vent that is all part of it.
((((((BIG BEAR HUGS)))))))
RE0 -
Newly diagnosed
Hi Maria,
So sorry you had bad news today. I too found that the few weeks after the diagnosis were the most difficult, and I couldn't even imagine living without fear again. It seems that your brain takes over and puts you in a 'survival mode'. You can't help but try to find ways to beat this ennemy. What helped me most was the following:
1. Continued to work until the surgery. It kept my mind off things. At the end of the day, I was very happy when I could say to myself "Wow, today I didn't think about cancer for at least 4 minutes!"
2. I started a life journal. Writing down how you feel and especially what helps you is good therapy.
3. I made a list of 10 things that I really enjoy doing and I tried to do as many as I could each day (like walking in the forest, eating ice cream etc). We deserve it!
4. Speaking to survivors was very, very helpful. They give you hope.
5. Try not to think too much about the future. Take it one step at a time. My main goal at the beginning was to make sure I was in good shape for the surgery (eat well, try to get enough sleep)
It is amazing how we seem to find the courage we need to have when necessary. I am sure you will find this strength in you and you will make it.
Take care0 -
The shock is a normal
The shock is a normal reaction. I think it comes and goes as we move through each new phase of the cancer journey. Some things to remember: Don't go it alone...get as much help as you can, Talk to your Dr. and ask questions, ask questions, ask questions...did I say ask quesions? From now on, keep a notebook handy and write down your questions as you go so you will remember what you want to ask when you get to the Dr. It is a good idea to take someone you trust with you to help listen and take notes. Talking to the Dr. about cancer issues is an emotional experience and 2 heads and 4 ears can get more information than one.
We are sorry you have had reason to, but welcome to an ever growing group...cancer SURVIVORS!
Take care, seof0 -
I was there and remember well.....
Maria, I am so sorry that you have this diagnosis. I remember the day I too heard those scary words and I was 42 years old. I had an apt for a mammogram at 7:30am with plans to meet my sister later for shopping. Well, I got lost driving there, and arrived very late. They were very busy and I was told I'd have to reschedule but then they squeezed me in. I walked out 4 hours, a mammogram, ultrasound and one needle biopsy later with breast cancer.
I was terrified as I drove myself home. My aunt died of breast cancer. The next week and a half is a blur of doctors appointments, tests, and worry. I had my surgery right away---I just wanted that thing out of my body. Once it was removed, I felt less anxious and terrified, but continued to worry and worry.....
My point is, this is not going to be easy, but right now things look very scary and dark but as time goes by you will get over the shock and begin to see that you will survive and that this battle can be won. I found that having my sister, husband, and best friends around me helped alot. It was comforting to have that love and support near. The week after surgery waiting for the path report was hard because I was home alone all day. If possible, try and avoid being alone during the next few weeks.
It will be three years this April and I feel I have made a lot of progress but I still find myself thinking about everything that happened and worry that I may hear from cancer again but its not all the time anymore. I know that the memories wil always be with me but as time continues they will have less and less power.
You can do this, and we will all be here to help too! You will beat this and survive because life is sweet and we have more strength than we know. Take care and plase let us know how you are doing. Eileen0 -
You are in my prayers
Maria,
I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I remember well the shock and disbelief and sheer terror that i felt. I was so sure that the lump i felt was nothing. Everyone had told me if it hurts it's not cancer..(and it hurt) even the NR giving me a mamogram said she was optimistic because it hurt. I insisted on an ultrasound also because a friend of mine with bc told me they miss it alot with just a mamo. after the radiologist looked at it he told me even before the biopsy that it was 99% cancer. I guess i was in shock as i didn't cry and didn't believe it.. i guess denial is the first stage. I had a masectomy with 21 lymph nodes removed Dec. 2nd 09 and 6 were positive making me a stage 3a. I have completed 2 rounds of chemo and will have 6 wks of radiation to follow along with another 6 mo.s of Herceptin, and as if that isn't enough 5 yrs of a hormone treatment (pill). I guess I was pretty numb over the whole thing and just went along with whatever they told me to do.
IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS!! and i'm so sorry for you.
I have found lately that learning as much as you can about it and asking lots of questions is empowering. You have to build your ammunition for the fight. also support of my husband ,friends, community and lots of long talks to Jesus.. helps so much. An unexpected support which i just stumbled upon? is this support group here with all these sweet survivors and sisters in pink! you will be surprised at the depth of their support and amazed at their courage.. what an inspiration. oh yeah the most important part their ability to laugh (and make me laugh) and find Joy in their lives is awesome. I am praying for you. Please keep posting and let us help however we can. Your sister in pink.
God bless,
Jackie0 -
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
We are sooo glad that you found your way in here! We understand the Fear, Shock, and total sensory overload at hearing those 3 most UNWANTED words: You Have Cancer!
We will walk you through this entire journey to life beyond cancer~ and trust us, there is one, and a great one at that!
You will not find a more empathetic, caring group of warriors/suvivors/supporters anywhere, of that we can assure you! You can laugh, cry, vent, exhale, rant, rave...we absolutely get it! You will be enveloped by those of us who got here right before you did.
You are not alone anymore....we are with you.
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Mercjall
I am so sorry you have cancer.M D Anderson sounds like a great place to go.when you look at your boys you will find the courage to go on. we are all here for you . Great people are in here and you are one of them Mercjall take one day at a time. hugs for you with lots of love.0 -
Mercjall
I am so sorry you have cancer.M D Anderson sounds like a great place to go.when you look at your boys you will find the courage to go on. we are all here for you . Great people are in here and you are one of them Mercjall take one day at a time. hugs for you with lots of love.0 -
Hi! I was diagnosed on
Hi! I was diagnosed on January 15 and everyone here understands the "Oh my God, I have cancer what do I do?" feelings you have right now. We've been there and everyone is different but the scared feeling is common to us all. And even my husband, as dear as he is, cannot understand that feeling.
Do what is OK for you and get information before making decisions and keep coming back here. There is a wealth of information and support here. It isn't a road that anyone would chose but we keep going.
**Hugs**
Maureen0 -
thanksMoopy23 said:Welcome, Maria
Maria, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The good news is that you have found a wonderful, god-given group here. The outpouring of love and generosity and compassion is overwhelming. I joined recently and just started chemo for stage 3A, mastectomy in November. These wonderful people have kept me going, taught me so much and comforted me beyond words. You have come to the right place. They are true friends in need--and fun, too.
I have heard of MD Anderson and know it has an excellent rep. There is no National Cancer Institute hospital here where I live, but I did get a second opinion from an NCI doctor in St Louis. We went with her recommendation. I would definitely go to MD Anderson if I could.
As for courage, I did not want to know too much right away. I left the details to my husband. The surgeon thought after the surgery that I was worse and told me I was beyond a cure. That stopped my questions. Thank God, the pathology report came back not quite as bad as he expected. Not quite, anyway!
The shock? Well, there is so much that starts to happen that you don't really have time to pause, at least I didn't. Surgery, healing, and planning chemo. I still have times of disbelief. As for courage, faith, family, friends, most of all my husband, and these wonderful ladies, our sisters in pink.
As I said, I have not been here long, with diagnosis in November and joined the board this month. You will hear from others with more knowlege. You are in my prayers. Please don't hesitate to continue posting and ask anything.
it means so much to me. I posted yesterday and got 14 replies by today. I feel I am not alone and there is life after cancer. Thank you somuch for takin gthe time to reply to me.0 -
thanks Maureen. So this isEveningStar2 said:Hi! I was diagnosed on
Hi! I was diagnosed on January 15 and everyone here understands the "Oh my God, I have cancer what do I do?" feelings you have right now. We've been there and everyone is different but the scared feeling is common to us all. And even my husband, as dear as he is, cannot understand that feeling.
Do what is OK for you and get information before making decisions and keep coming back here. There is a wealth of information and support here. It isn't a road that anyone would chose but we keep going.
**Hugs**
Maureen
thanks Maureen. So this is all new to you too. You all understand perfectly how it feels even though we have different kinds and different levels. Thanks for the hugs...0 -
thanks moopy. I amMoopy23 said:Welcome, Maria
Maria, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The good news is that you have found a wonderful, god-given group here. The outpouring of love and generosity and compassion is overwhelming. I joined recently and just started chemo for stage 3A, mastectomy in November. These wonderful people have kept me going, taught me so much and comforted me beyond words. You have come to the right place. They are true friends in need--and fun, too.
I have heard of MD Anderson and know it has an excellent rep. There is no National Cancer Institute hospital here where I live, but I did get a second opinion from an NCI doctor in St Louis. We went with her recommendation. I would definitely go to MD Anderson if I could.
As for courage, I did not want to know too much right away. I left the details to my husband. The surgeon thought after the surgery that I was worse and told me I was beyond a cure. That stopped my questions. Thank God, the pathology report came back not quite as bad as he expected. Not quite, anyway!
The shock? Well, there is so much that starts to happen that you don't really have time to pause, at least I didn't. Surgery, healing, and planning chemo. I still have times of disbelief. As for courage, faith, family, friends, most of all my husband, and these wonderful ladies, our sisters in pink.
As I said, I have not been here long, with diagnosis in November and joined the board this month. You will hear from others with more knowlege. You are in my prayers. Please don't hesitate to continue posting and ask anything.
thanks moopy. I am overwhelmed right now but I am sure it will pass soon.0 -
I am sooooo sorry!!!!
I am so sorry that you would have to go through the evil words or "cancer". It is the one thing you never think can happen to you. In the midst of the doctor telling you those words you feel numb and that word is the only thing you hear. I am 36 years old and I had a bilateral mastectomy and lumpectomy on Dec. 3, 2008 I also started reconstruction during surgery with tissue expanders. They removed 25 lymphs and it was in 2 with a tumor with a tail that was 2cm and the tail was 5cm. I have just gone through my second chemo treatment. I know it feels you are all alone, and no understands how YOU feel, but I promise this site has so many wonderful new "sisters in pink" with so much knowledge and experience that you will never be "alone" we are here everystep of the way to give you a hug, tear, laugh, smile, or just a word. Even though you are new to us, you are one of us and we love you. Please continue to post with us so we can be here for you.
HUGS and Kisses,,,,
Michelle0 -
There is life after cancer
There is life after cancer because all of us here are survivors. You will be too! I finished with treatment on December 24, 2008 and I know how you feel. You will have treatment options so read all that you can and ask lots of questions. There are many websites out there but visit reliable sources of information like MD Anderson, Mayo Clinic and this website where you'll receive support and answers from a group of people who have experienced what you are going through now. By the way, I'm just up the road from you in Central Texas. Don't forget to breathe and take care of yourself. Good Luck.0 -
We are all here for you. SoDerbygirl said:There is life after cancer
There is life after cancer because all of us here are survivors. You will be too! I finished with treatment on December 24, 2008 and I know how you feel. You will have treatment options so read all that you can and ask lots of questions. There are many websites out there but visit reliable sources of information like MD Anderson, Mayo Clinic and this website where you'll receive support and answers from a group of people who have experienced what you are going through now. By the way, I'm just up the road from you in Central Texas. Don't forget to breathe and take care of yourself. Good Luck.
We are all here for you. So sorry that you have this diagnosis but know we will support you every step of the way. MD Anderson is supposed to be one of the best. Like everyone said, Ask questions, take a trusted friend or family member with you if you can. And ask us anything you want to know. Someone here has probably "been there, done that".
Stef0 -
Moopy, thanks for theMoopy23 said:Welcome, Maria
Maria, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The good news is that you have found a wonderful, god-given group here. The outpouring of love and generosity and compassion is overwhelming. I joined recently and just started chemo for stage 3A, mastectomy in November. These wonderful people have kept me going, taught me so much and comforted me beyond words. You have come to the right place. They are true friends in need--and fun, too.
I have heard of MD Anderson and know it has an excellent rep. There is no National Cancer Institute hospital here where I live, but I did get a second opinion from an NCI doctor in St Louis. We went with her recommendation. I would definitely go to MD Anderson if I could.
As for courage, I did not want to know too much right away. I left the details to my husband. The surgeon thought after the surgery that I was worse and told me I was beyond a cure. That stopped my questions. Thank God, the pathology report came back not quite as bad as he expected. Not quite, anyway!
The shock? Well, there is so much that starts to happen that you don't really have time to pause, at least I didn't. Surgery, healing, and planning chemo. I still have times of disbelief. As for courage, faith, family, friends, most of all my husband, and these wonderful ladies, our sisters in pink.
As I said, I have not been here long, with diagnosis in November and joined the board this month. You will hear from others with more knowlege. You are in my prayers. Please don't hesitate to continue posting and ask anything.
Moopy, thanks for the welcome. You girls are giving me courage and hope. I saw the posts by your husband,he is sweet.0 -
that is good advice to workRose trémière said:Newly diagnosed
Hi Maria,
So sorry you had bad news today. I too found that the few weeks after the diagnosis were the most difficult, and I couldn't even imagine living without fear again. It seems that your brain takes over and puts you in a 'survival mode'. You can't help but try to find ways to beat this ennemy. What helped me most was the following:
1. Continued to work until the surgery. It kept my mind off things. At the end of the day, I was very happy when I could say to myself "Wow, today I didn't think about cancer for at least 4 minutes!"
2. I started a life journal. Writing down how you feel and especially what helps you is good therapy.
3. I made a list of 10 things that I really enjoy doing and I tried to do as many as I could each day (like walking in the forest, eating ice cream etc). We deserve it!
4. Speaking to survivors was very, very helpful. They give you hope.
5. Try not to think too much about the future. Take it one step at a time. My main goal at the beginning was to make sure I was in good shape for the surgery (eat well, try to get enough sleep)
It is amazing how we seem to find the courage we need to have when necessary. I am sure you will find this strength in you and you will make it.
Take care
that is good advice to work until surgery. I will do that. Even though it makes my life hectic, I love working. I love the other suggestions on your list too. thanks so much and best wishes for you.0 -
thanks for the straight talkrjjj said:You are in my prayers
Maria,
I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I remember well the shock and disbelief and sheer terror that i felt. I was so sure that the lump i felt was nothing. Everyone had told me if it hurts it's not cancer..(and it hurt) even the NR giving me a mamogram said she was optimistic because it hurt. I insisted on an ultrasound also because a friend of mine with bc told me they miss it alot with just a mamo. after the radiologist looked at it he told me even before the biopsy that it was 99% cancer. I guess i was in shock as i didn't cry and didn't believe it.. i guess denial is the first stage. I had a masectomy with 21 lymph nodes removed Dec. 2nd 09 and 6 were positive making me a stage 3a. I have completed 2 rounds of chemo and will have 6 wks of radiation to follow along with another 6 mo.s of Herceptin, and as if that isn't enough 5 yrs of a hormone treatment (pill). I guess I was pretty numb over the whole thing and just went along with whatever they told me to do.
IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS!! and i'm so sorry for you.
I have found lately that learning as much as you can about it and asking lots of questions is empowering. You have to build your ammunition for the fight. also support of my husband ,friends, community and lots of long talks to Jesus.. helps so much. An unexpected support which i just stumbled upon? is this support group here with all these sweet survivors and sisters in pink! you will be surprised at the depth of their support and amazed at their courage.. what an inspiration. oh yeah the most important part their ability to laugh (and make me laugh) and find Joy in their lives is awesome. I am praying for you. Please keep posting and let us help however we can. Your sister in pink.
God bless,
Jackie
thanks for the straight talk and for all your comforting words. It helps me so much reading your replies. I do feel the hugs and the blessings. The best to you.0
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