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husbands cancer has traveled to his brain, questions

fl03
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2009

HI NEW ON HERE, JUST RECENTLY HUSBANDS CANCER HAS GONE TO HIS BRAIN, HE HAD A RETURN OF MELANOMA FROM 8 YEARS AGO THAT WENT TO HIS LYMTH NODES, AND BACK, TUMORS GROWING DAILY, NOT ABLE TO REMOVED DUE TO HEART PROBLEMS, MY CONCERN IS THE DAILY WORSTING OF CONFUSION, SLEEPING ALL THE TIME, CAN ANYONE GIVE ME, OUR CHILDREN ANY IDEA OF WHAT'S AHEAD, HOW LONG? HE IS IN THE HOSPICE PROGRAM, AND THEY ONLY SAY HE WILL SLEEP MORE, MAYBE NOT EVEN GET UP, MORE CONFUSION ETC, OUR CHILDREN ARE ALL OUT OF STATE, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL THEM ETC, APPRECIATE ANY ENCOURGEMENT, MARRIED ALMOST 48 YEARS LOVE OF MY LIFE, FL03

hunpot's picture
hunpot
Posts: 90
Joined: Nov 2008

flo-- My hearts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Im sure youll get alot of responses i hope someone will be able to give you more better time frame so you can all be a little prepared.
Its all about comfort right now for him and you try to just bethere and hold his hand, rub his body, put him in his favorite clothes or give him his favorite blanket, just try to be there as much as possible to let him know you are there they say they can hear you talking so even if you think he cant talk to him and just let him know you will be okay and that he will be in good hands with all the angels above. It is the most difficult thing we as caregivers have to tell the ones we love and somehoe we manage to get the words out but it is okay for them to go on above and that we will be okay and survive.

Im no expert on brain cancer but mom had stage 4 SSC and once treatments stopped she didnt last 3 months from reading on hear and i dont want to be the bad news bear but once gets to brain there is not much time left maybe a month each person is different and some go on for longer times just wanted to give you some rough idea for all involved if the children could come and visit i would tell them come ASAP. try to stay strong and brave and remember all the good times you shared and all the memories and love you will have to keep you going. GOD BLESS YOU
tracy

fl03
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2009

I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR REPLYING, I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS, BUT CHERISH ANY INPUT, SUCH A NEW TERRITORY, I JUST DON'T WANT THE CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, GREAT ONES, TO MISS OUT ON THE TIME LEFT, DON'T WANT TO PANIC OVER THE SUDDEN CHANGES, BUT IF THEY CAN COME I WANT THEM TO BE WITH HIM, AND OF COURSE I NEED THE SUPPORT, I DID ASK FOR DIFFERENT ONES IN OUR COMMUNITY TO PLEASE JUST STOP BY ANYTIME THE CAR IS HERE, HE WAKES UP, SOMETIMES ENTERS IN, BUT KNOW FOLKS CARE, AND WANT TO SEE HIM, THANK YOU AGAIN, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU REACHING OUT AT THIS TIME OF OUR LIVES THAT NONE OF US EVER THOUGHT WE WOULD BE IN. MY HUSBAND AND HAD MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS, HEART , BACK SURGERIES (5) BUT NEVER DREAMED THIS IS WHERE IS WOULD HAVE TAKEN US, GOD BLESS YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY, FONDLY IN FL

amandaleegr's picture
amandaleegr
Posts: 7
Joined: Mar 2009

hi
i am very sorry to hear about your husband
my husband also had this terrible condition and reading your story brings back all these
hard memories it is not easy to see the person that you love so much go through this and it does get very hard my advice to you is just pray for him talk to him hold his hand and let him know that you love him spend as much time with him as you can because he knows that you are there and you love him.this is really the hardest thing that any one can ever go through.
my thoughts and prayers are with you
if you ever need to talk just message me
god bless
amandaleegr

fl03
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2009

I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR REPLYING, I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS, BUT CHERISH ANY INPUT, SUCH A NEW TERRITORY, I JUST DON'T WANT THE CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, GREAT ONES, TO MISS OUT ON THE TIME LEFT, DON'T WANT TO PANIC OVER THE SUDDEN CHANGES, BUT IF THEY CAN COME I WANT THEM TO BE WITH HIM, AND OF COURSE I NEED THE SUPPORT, I DID ASK FOR DIFFERENT ONES IN OUR COMMUNITY TO PLEASE JUST STOP BY ANYTIME THE CAR IS HERE, HE WAKES UP, SOMETIMES ENTERS IN, BUT KNOW FOLKS CARE, AND WANT TO SEE HIM, THANK YOU AGAIN, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU REACHING OUT AT THIS TIME OF OUR LIVES THAT NONE OF US EVER THOUGHT WE WOULD BE IN. MY HUSBAND AND HAD MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS, HEART , BACK SURGERIES (5) BUT NEVER DREAMED THIS IS WHERE IS WOULD HAVE TAKEN US, GOD BLESS YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY, FONDLY IN FL

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

I am sad to say that I have been down the road you find yourself now traveling. My Heart and Prayers go out to you and your husband. Each Day will bring you new challenges. I had to keep the dylantin in my wife 24/7 to keep the seisures at a manageable level. I know the Prescription said to give every 4 hours but found that every three hours was necessary. You will just have to see how he does on his medications. I made a chart so I could keep up with all of them and mark down the times I would give them to her. She had so many. Having Hospice envolved was the best decision you could have made. They are Special people that will help you a great deal. It is now just time to be with him, Hold his hand, Talk to him even if you think he is out of it, He will hear your words. Tell him how much you love him and that you are there for him. I found a good web site from England that has a lot of End Of Life information on what to expect. They were a little more specific on what I could expect to encounter than the American Information. Just right click copy and paste this in to your web Browser it should take you to the site http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Ifsomeoneelsehascancer/Caringforsomeone
when you get to the site click on end of life they tell you the specific things you will be having to deal with. I just wanted to know what to expect and the more info I found did help me help my wife to be more comfortable towards the end. You are the primary Caregiver everything is your decission. Just do what you think is best and that will be the right decission. I did second guess everything I did but that is only natural. Don't feel that you are doing something wrong. You aren't. If I can answer any questions I will no mater how difficult you think do not hessitate to ask. We are all here to help each other through this most Difficult Time in our Lives.
You Friend
Floyd

itsallgood2
Posts: 7
Joined: Jan 2009

Hi there. I am so sorry to hear of your husbands cancer journey and the fight that he is up against. My husband also has melanoma that has spread to his brain and his health is also failing very fast. He also has spots popping up daily on his body. Within two weeks my husband has sent from getting around on his own to constantly being on the couch or the bed and using a roller walker; the roller walker has been used for two days now and I think we are going to have to us a wheelchair now. We have talked about having a home health nurse come in soon and help out with him. I too wonder what lies ahead and how long can and will this go on? My husband also started having short spurts of scrambled language and confusion and I always want to run him into the hospital, but I know that's not the thing to do.

This is a tough journey we are all on and I pray that our loved ones are out of pain and not suffering. My only suggestion is to love him and touch him and smell him all you can. I will continue to pray for strength and peace for you.

hollyberry's picture
hollyberry
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

Dear Flo,
I am sending big hugs your way, as I know you are dealing with so much pain and exhaustion. My husband is in your shoes, as I am suffering from terminal melanoma and he is my primary caregiver. His job never ends and I am so grateful to him for all that he does ( and he does it so lovingly!).
Please know that your husband loves and appreciates everything you do for him. He needs you so much and if he could change things, he would. I know that I would give anything to lessen my husband's burden; I can't and so I just pray for him and the kids and hope that when I pass that they find peace in knowing that I am in God's presence and no longer in pain.
You are in my prayers and you can message me, if you need to talk. I'm a good listener and I can certainly appreciate how much you are going through. itsallgood is a kind and generous person, too, as are hunpot and Mr. Sad. We're all here for you, so take advantage of this network and lean on us when you need to; that's what all of us have to do, sometimes, and it is so good to have the support you need at this very difficult time.
love and hugs,
Hollyberry

green50
Posts: 318
Joined: Feb 2008

I big hug and praise for helping him and comforting him. I was married almost 28 years when mine passed away from lung cancer. This disease has no mercy. But you being there is the best thing. Maybe take a break when you can to gather your own strength even for a moment. God Bless
Prayers and Hugs
Sandy

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