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helping with funeral arrangements

kat6678
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2009

My husband has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer which had spread to the brain and we had to remove the mass. He is in the stage 4 of cancer and it has pretty well taken over his body. He is currently going through chemo treatments but the dr is not very hopeful but that it will help relieve some of his pains.

I am asking for anyone out there that knows of any kind of funeral assistance that people can apply for. I have no insurance for my husband and we are on a fixed income and have no wAy of paying for funeral expenses when the time does come. I have done everything I know and been and asked everyone I know to ask. The funeral homes will not take payment arrangements and with our income I can barely make ends meet now with rent and all. I know everyone has been in the same situation as me but I sure do need some help in finding resources for my problem. Thanks,

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

KAT
I am so sorry to here of your situation. My heart goes out to you. What State do you live in.
I don't know too much about Finicial aid for your situation But I sure could help you do some searching for some help. We just need the state to see what may be available. I know with all That you are going thru, worring about how to pay for funeral expenses should not be in your thoughts. May be The folks here on this site may know of some help that is available. You started in the right place. We are all here to help as much as we can. I have been in your shoes with my wife Cathy, Who also had Terminal lung cancer that went to her Brain and they had to do the surgery to remove the tumor. They gave her the treatments to make what time she had left more comfortable for her. I went through the seizures, the pain, the stress, and the terible loss of losing her. I know some days feel just to much to handle. Just know there has been a lot of great people here on this site that have gone through your journey. We all have had the ups, the downs, the stress, and the Pain. Let me know as soon as you can about your state and I will start looking.
My best hopes and wishes go out to you.
MR_SAD

kat6678
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2009

Thank you so very much for a reply to my situation. You have had the same thing I am now going thru. I live in Seymour Indiana. Any type of help you could find me would make me so happy and very grateful.. Thanks again you friend Kathy

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

Kat 6678
I did some searching and there are organizations that may be able to help you out.
Try and get your state listed here on the site. Most of the help that is available will be in your home state.
Mr_Sad

hunpot's picture
hunpot
Posts: 90
Joined: Nov 2008

I Know in mass Social security gives a one time death benefit up to 1500.00 its not much but make sure you contact social security in your area as well. ACS may have funds available, DId u try your local hospice group as well if your husband is in his final stages you should get theri help as well they can help with many issues of comfort, support, for you him and the family,
it surprises me to find out funeral home doesnt do payment arrangements what are you to do keep his body there for years -till you come up with money? geesh not everyone can come up with 5000.00 or more out of the blue.
I knows it alot to do but you can also try to have a benefit.
Its work but alot of people are willing to donate a function hall or club, DJ or band and many stores for your raffles, MAke up a sign or flyer explaining briefly what happened and where all proceeds will go to with his picture go to places you always go to hairdressers, barbers, grocery stores, liquor stores, resteraunts, etcc youll be amazed at how many donate Gift Certificates or small items, , then all you need to do is have everyone make a dish and buy tickets to enter $10-$20 a ticket. At moms i made 3000.00 i HAd a good outcome and was lucky but benefits work if you can do it.
For now just worry about spending time with him, hold, love and support let him know all will be okay he is probably worried about leaving you and what will happen, just let him know there is help you will find it and you will be okay let him go in peace with no worries. My thoughts are with you

slickwilly's picture
slickwilly
Posts: 339
Joined: Feb 2007

I am so sorry. If your husband ever served in the military I would call 1-800-827-1000 at Veteran Affairs to see if he qualify's for any benefits. If he served during a time of war or after certain dates he may have benefits coming. He didn't have to be in a war zone. Just a thought as I don't know his history. Slickwilly

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

Kathy
You need to contact your local United Way offices, The Social Services Offices and call all of the Funeral homes in your area and Ask for information about Finicial aid, in some areas there are local churches that may offer help. They do not advertise this fact but the local Funeral homes should be able to give you some info. You may have to try all of them untill you find one that will help. Did your husband want to be cremated? If that was his wish. You could plan a nice memoral service for him. I am not trying to be morbid here. But My wife did not want to be Embalmed or buried, She wanted to be cremated. This has to be done within a short period. So I had just a Visitation and Memorial service the same day in the afternoon with her ashes and a lot of Pictures of her. As it turned out this was the least expensive path to go down. My Cathy was always Smart about money even at the end She took the best path out of this world for me. It was a fine service with over 200 of our friends attending. The local hospice people should also have some information for you, They were a hugh support for me. I hope this helps you. Keep us informed about your husband, Know you and him are in my prayers each day.
MR_SAD

1blessedamongus
Posts: 15
Joined: Aug 2010

Dear Kat I hate to sound negative but even a Funeral home will try to pressure you into buying the most expensive casket and items. I had no idea how expensive things were. Casket Spray $400,satin lined gold trimmed Caskets as high as $10,000. I am sorry Mr Funeral Director but a beautiful lace cloth brought from home or a beautiful arrangement can be had a lot cheaper. The director will say "Wouldn't you like to say you gave the best for your loved one so they will know how much you cared." I told our funeral director and I really liked him that Momma knew how much I loved her because I was with her most of the time and told her. By the time my Dad died 2 years later-We had a beautiful cheap casket,a flag for the casket,short visitation,and knew we didn't need videos or even the fancy cars to take us to cemetary. They charge for everything so be aware and make it the service you and he planned not what someone else tells you to get so HE WILL KNOW YOU cared. You Care because you are there.Best to you and your husband.You'll be in my prayers.I am not prepared either and my husband was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago.

mrskritter
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2012

my husband has been fighting for over 2 years and now there is no more they can do.It's 8000 for the funeral and has to be paid up front before he passes ,we are running out of time and we are on fixed income with 3 small children really hope someone can help ,my husband can not bear the though of creamation

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