Jan 01, 2009 - 10:29 am
Here it is Jan 1st of a brand new year and I found myself, nearing midnight last night and this morning, wondering how to make this year different for me - physically. Because of the many side effects I have, after my bone marrow transplant, I feel very stuck in it all, from time to time. 18 years of stuck. I fully acknowledge the miracle of this long of a survivorship and am grateful for it indeed, but the unpredictability of my condition on a daily basis some days becomes tedious and hard to bear. I am a type A personality and want to find a way to 'fix' everything, including myself, and have had little success doing that to any great extent with my condition being ongoing. I opened another post awhile back that talked about being overwhelmed but it isn't that this time, it's just the nagging conditions that don't go away and leave me stuck. How to make it better? I pray for a miracle that would vastly improve my medical situation but so far, not so much. I will keep praying. Any suggestions out there on how to get 'unstuck'? Isolation due to these sudden onset conditions is a big problem but again, how to make that situation better as well? Am I whining? - don't mean to, it just gets to me sometimes, especially when the year is new and you see that full calendar of days in front of you and wish you could change it all. Will this be as good as it gets? Hmmm. Thanks for listening.