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Oh oh, it's New Year's resolution time again !!

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Don't throw something at the computer screen because I brought up resolutions but hey, someone had to do it, right? lol. I'll go first, since I am here anywho, lol. I think this year I am going to try and take Rick's advice (Terato) and try not to expect things as much as I do from others, especially friends and family. I think the whole cancer experience made me better at not doing that but I think I still have a ways to go so I am going to try to work on that. I am also going to try and count my blessings, even more than I already do, and see what my cure was truly for - what the heck am I still doing here on this crazy planet - should have been gone long time ago but obviously God still sees a mission unfulfilled in moi. Lastly I am going to try to take better care of myself by eating better (stress eater here) and not being so hard on myself. So that's about it for my resolutions, how about you? Happy almost New Year's everyone !!

hollyberry's picture
hollyberry
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

I just got an espresso maker and my first resolution is to drink at least five cups, eat a1/2 pound of dark chocolate and see if I can be first to land on Mars!! After that, I'm going to thank God for all of my friends and family and let Rick know that he is a sage. I also expected too much sometimes, maybe because we all tried so hard for others, we expected more than they could give? And most importantly, I'm going to tell you that you were put here to be the best friend a girl could have, silly. Didn't you realize how many of us count on you for advice or a smile everyday? Mystery solved, my dear. Last,but not least, I'm going to savor everyday that God gives me with my family and all of you.
Happy New Year,
Hollyberry

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

I think I ate more than a half pound of chocolate gifts all by myself, my bad, lol. If you only eat 1/2 pound you are doing well. lol. I am jealous you got an espresso maker - I love cappachino. Sounds like you hard a lovely, warm Xmas, that's wonderful. Rick is indeed a sage, he has done alot for this site, we are all lucky to have him too. Thank you for the lovely compliments, I truly appreciate them. Funny how we wind up coming here for support and understanding and even though we get that in spades we wind up helping others as well. What a perfect combination. Hugs Holly, take care of you. Blessings, Blueroses.

Eil4186's picture
Eil4186
Posts: 967
Joined: Dec 2007

I too have been thinking about resolutions, Blue. I also am going to try to count my blessings more often. I've been doing better with eating since my cancer but I still eat too much. I need to cut out 2nd helpings:^{

I was seeing a therapist during my treatment to help me deal with the fear I was feeling. We discussed death often because it was on my mind a lot those days. He had a great philosophy on our purpose for being here on earth, when I asked him what was the point of everything if we were all just going to die anyway? He responded that he believed that our purpose is to help and love others. That simple. I like that. I have faith in God and when I think about it, that is what Jesus did---he helped and loved people. I feel that I get too caught up in the stupid little worries of life. I am going to try and make more time for being helpful to others and showing love to my friends and family. That would be a good thing to leave in my path as I continue my journey......

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

I totally agree with your therapist, it's all about love. When you read any true spiritualists or listen to them speak you will always hear that as their underlying reason for living, to love and to help. When you think about how complicated we make life sometimes, by 'we' I mean everyone on this crazy planet of ours, it seems silly when you realize that those two things are the bottomline and even they can be reduced down to one reason LOVE, period. You are on the right track for sure Eil, looks like you have a great therapist too. All the best in 2009 and like that old Beatles song is entitled 'All We Need is Love' - do, do, do, do, do - sorry, I think that was out of tune. hahaha Later kiddo, hugs - Blueroses

Dreamdove's picture
Dreamdove
Posts: 175
Joined: Sep 2008

I read somewhere that we are here to learn about love--how to love and how to be loved by others. It is particularly a challenge now in our time period. I learned the hard way not to have very many expectations of others. I was continually dissapointed. I still am learning the lesson of unconditional love. The earth is our classroom and one day we will all graduate. That's one of the reasons most people have dreams about being back in school. As far as Jesus, that's all he came here to do: teach about love. I'm sure he knew he would eventually be nailed to a cross but that didn't stop him one second from loving others and being kind. I need to keep thinking about that.......

hollyberry's picture
hollyberry
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

You're all right on the mark- love is what it's all about here! I could not make it one more day if not for the love and support of family, friends and even strangers who take the time to be kind. I don't care what kind of act it is, if someone even just smiles at me, I am re-charged to fight the battle yet again. There is nothing more comforting than experiencing a kind gesture. God has given all of us a way to get through this difficult battle- it is His love and mercy, which he shows all of us through other human beings. I am convinced that I am alive today because of His mercy and all of the people that He has put in my life.Just when you think you can't take one more round of chemo or one more surgery, a smile, a pat on the back or a kiss from a loved one is all it takes sometimes to get back on that damned horse and keep going. All of you have done that for me on so many days and I am grateful to all of you for that.So, knowing that, I can take just about anything and keep going. And there's always chocolate, too!! lol
Love to all,
Hollyberry

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Well said Holly, that was beautifully expressed and oh so true. One thing that stood out for me in this entry you wrote was when you said 'There is nothing more comforting than experiencing a kind gesture." That is so true when we stop to think about how we feel on a bad health day when someone just smiles at us, that one moment when all seems warm and comforting for that one moment in time. What I have found to be true as well is that on the reverse side of that scenario, GIVING a kind gesture to someone else will give one the same feeling, if not more. Most of us have known this to be true over our lifetimes but for me anywho it seemed that after my diagnosis and initial battle with cancer I realized that I was almost obsessed with giving/sharing. I have heard that from many cancer patients and those around them and wonder where all that comes from. Duh, eh? I really believe it's more than us being grateful for being allowed to stay on this wild and crazy planet - it's almost as if each and every kind gesture that we show towards our fellow man is like an 'energy system' in which we get extra energy for each kind thing we do, by the Big Guy. Know what I mean? It is a feeling you feel in that moment when the person you help/love acknowledges your gesture - like some positive electricity between you - energizing like you said Holly, but not only one party but both. If you stop to notice, you will find that many cancer survivors put themselves in positions of service, small or large, soon after their primary battle with cancer. People look at us as 'so brave and special" helping others and having such a positive attitude after such an ordeal but it's healing for us too. This is part of the 'gift of illness', hard to type that for how can illness be a gift but there is much it teaches us and I know that each and every one of you know what I mean. Once you have gone through cancer, or any other life threatening situation, most are never the same - spiritually.

I remember when my kids were small and I was trying to teach them about volunteering ( I got cancer when they were very young) and we did it here and there, not as much as I would have liked for them because I was sick alot but they got the message. I was talking to my daughter after one such volunteering experience that left her very energized and feeling good about what she had done, she was about 7 at the time, and out of the blue I said that we should make up T-shirts that said 'Volunteering is the most Selfish Thing You can do!! Then in brackets underneath we could write 'but the good kind of selfish'. lol. That last part was her idea because she got the drift, helping others made one feel sooooooooo good. Just thought I would share that. Love always, Blueroses.

hollyberry's picture
hollyberry
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

You're right, blue; nothing better to get you out of your funk than to do something nice for someone else. I have been greatly challenged to remember this lately, what with my family situation right now. I'm glad for the reminder; it will help in the days ahead. I had such a wonderful time making a big Christmas dinner for the family and trying my best to be a good Santa; it really wore me out, but what fun!Hope everyone had a nice holiday, too!
Wishing all of you a great New Year, with clean scans and a big, fat NED for all of you!!
Love, Hollyberry

Dreamdove's picture
Dreamdove
Posts: 175
Joined: Sep 2008

You are right on about that. I could be abit down one day and all of a sudden someone shows some kindness towards me. It makes all the difference! Just think when you show kindness towards someone else. Doesn't even have to be anything big. Someone out there is going to appreciate it. Make that DARK CHOCOLATE......

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

I was eating dark chocolate as I read your posting. lol. Too funny. All the best in 2009 Dream. What is it about chocolate? Who cares, works for me too. Not so much for my hips but oh to heck with it. lol

winthefight's picture
winthefight
Posts: 162
Joined: Dec 2007

Hi Holly,

Thank you for your response above. When I read your comment about your new espresso machine and chocolate, I got such a chuckle! Your comment was just what I needed. My daily prayer is to find something to laugh about everday. So, again, thanks!

You will be the first woman to ever go to Mars via a caffine launch is pretty darn cool! LOL

Is diamond a girl's best friend?.........or is it chocolate????????????

Happy New Year!

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Wish we could bottle humour. Then we would be half way there, or more, to curing 'the beast'. Laughter is truly the best medicine. Happy New Year Win. Hugs, Blueroses

hollyberry's picture
hollyberry
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

I didn't even plan for that, but what else to wear on Mars!?! I'm glad I made you smile-trying to help others always makes me feel better. I have come up with a concoction that will definitely make inter-galactic travel so much better; I may or may not share with NASA depending on an invitation to shuttle launch.:
2 shots of espresso, 1/3 cup frothed chocolate milk and a ton of real whipped cream
I don't know about the rest of you but, I'm guessing God gave us coffee, chocolate and diamonds to get through those funky, teary days that no-one else could understand. Rick, you may have to substitute leather for diamonds on your next mission, but I bet it'll work for you, too!
Love and laughter for the New Year,
Hol

aah9976's picture
aah9976
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2008

6 years ago when my sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer I made a resolution that I will do the best I can each year to be an advocate for survivors, caregivers and those who lost their battle to cancer until we find a cure for the disease. Over the past few years I have done a lot of work with the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network to make that possible, yet I feel that there is more that I can do. Now that I have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer I have yet another reason to fight this disease through advocacy. My story has changed from a caregiver to a survivor. Hopefully we can get more laws passed and funds given to research, early detection and finding a cure.

I also resolve to spend more quality time playing and being with my family. I am getting married this year and plan on making it more of a party than the rigid formal ceremony that is typically had. Gotta make life more fun so that it is easier to deal with the more serious times.

I resolve to take better care of me. I will go to the gym more and eat better (although the chocolate is a hard one to give up).

I also pray that we one day find a cure so that no one else has to endure what everyone on this site has had to endure whether you are a survivor or a caregiver or both.

I hope that everyone has a wonderfully happy new year.

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Thank you so much for your contribution to this thread on the CSN Discussion Board. You are a true inspiration to me and I'm sure to all the others on this site both as a caregiver and survivor. We need so many in advocacy and you sound like a true leader. All the best in the New Year and with your upcoming wedding. Hope 2009 finds you healthier, cancer free and continuing to fight the good fight for us all. If I could lend another idea for areas that need advocacy and that is in the area of patient support within the medical community in any way they can integrate such a service. I feel that this area is greatly overlooked from just as soon as diagnosis is given to a patient( there should be psychological support) all the way through treatments and after care with emotional support as well. All the best. Blessings, Blueroses.

sdamlow38
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2008

I really had not thought about it until I came upon this site. In May of 2007 I found out I had ovarian cancer - ended up with a staph infection (took 9 months healing from the inside out) and just found out at my CT scan that I have 2 nodes on my left side that they want to biopsy so I am all freaked out again. But I have lots to be thankful for - I have 5 beautiful wonderful children - a wonderful son-in-law, 4 lovely grandchildren and a very supportive husband - went from doing nothing in the house (as I had to do things my way) to having to do everything (even if it was not my way) So I plan on living each day as if it was my last, enjoy each and every day to the fullest. Think positive even when it is not that easy. Be a better friend to all - even when I am having a pitty party for myself. Happy New Year.

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Hello sdamlow, Sounds like you are well on your way to counting your blessings already and that is what cancer does for many of us, for sure. I am sorry to hear about your 2007 diagnosis and recent finding with the two nodes, but sounds like you have a great support system and that's half the battle. Remember, swollen nodes can just mean an infection too but I know it's a worry. I had NHL myself and know the whole 'swollen node' concern, up close and personal. Keeping busy and enjoying every day to its fullest is the way to go, too bad everyone on this crazy planet of ours couldn't get that message without cancer - I know I probably wouldnt have, at least not as soon, if it hadn't been for my cancer. Some people say cancer is a gift, hmm, not sure I want to go that far - lol, but it certainly can wake us up to things that are far more important than the minor stuff we fret about daily.

You used the words 'pity party' for yourself near the end of your posting and I know that it may seem like that, to others especially who haven't had to deal with cancer up close and personal, but be gentle with yourself - cancer is a tough nut to have to live with (no question about it). It affects everyone we know and love as well and every now and again we need to be able to be honest with our emotions and let them out. I don't think pity party exists for most of us - it's freakin scarey so let's be honest with our emotions and if we feel sick - say it, if we feel sad - share it and if we have a good day - acknowledge it. You will find many listening ears on this board who have been there too and know that pity parties are misnomers on this subject. Be gentle with yourself. Happy New Years, and keep us posted on your health. Hopefully 2009 will find you on your way to better health. Hugs, Blueroses

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2065
Joined: Oct 2008

Thank you for being here, and just for being YOU..........You have helped me a lot, J XXXXX

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

I get so much out of this site myself and it all comes from all of you who really understand all the ins and outs of the experience. Without your validation, the road would be so much harder to travel. If we can't all help each other then truly, what was the point of the cancer journey? Happy New Year tasha. Hugs, Blueroses

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

But, I have not said anything that you or anyone else has not experienced or thought of at some time during this whole insane business of cancer! I used to think that cancer was as bad an experience as I was going to have, until I found my younger brother at the end of an electric cord. "Cancer" had taught me how to deal with that situation, not perfectly, but enough to remain relatively sane enough to file my emotions and manage the aftermath of the unexpected violent death of family. I constantly remember the Nietzsche quote, "That which does not kill us, makes us strong!" I don't know if I ever became "strong", but I did have the emotional resources available when I needed them. Would I have had the coping skills without the cancer? Who the hell knows, but I never had to find out, I only pray that my remaining corporeal years are free of similar "challenges". And, I wish you and all my fellow "carcinoma kids" the same.

Love, Courage, and a Healthier and Happier New Year!

Rick

blueroses's picture
blueroses
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Yup, you're right Rick, we have all had the same feelings at one time or another through the cancer experience but it's more about HOW you phrase things that hits home with us, each and every time. That's a gift Rick, no doot aboot it as we say in Canada here, lol.
One of my favourite quotes is 'Everything happens for a reason', I truly believe it and I'm betting your experiences led you to better deal with your horrendous unexpected family crisis. But like you said, 'who the hell knows. All I know for sure though is that it seems that when certain people are faced with challenges in their lives they just get stronger and wind up helping others who are experiencing similar experiences. I truly think you are one of those people, able to relate in words what some of us only feel but can't express as well. Happy New Year Rick and all the best in 2009. Blueroses

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2065
Joined: Oct 2008

What a great one Rick............How did you hang on to your sense of humour ??? never mind, thank god you did, it helps, ty. Hugs Blue too. Luv J XXX

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