Dec 25, 2008 - 5:08 am
Hi: I live in Australia and my partner was diagnosed with colon cancer in October. After seeing an oncologist and getting info about chemo (and having appointments set up for chemo preparation and delivery), he decided he did not want to go through with it. He did talk it over with the doctors and instead will be blood-tested and scanned every so often. His reasons for not wanting to go thru with chemo were that 1) his quality of life, he felt, would be greatly affected (friend of his went thru chemo, but passed away a few weeks ago) and 2) he wants to try alternative therapies.
I was very upset when he told me of his decision, initially, but realised that it was his life and his choice, so I told him I'd support him in any way he wanted.
I work full time and since his operation to remove the tumor (in October) he's not really been able to work, due to tiredness and just the after-effects of the operation. He's not coping at all, which I expected, and I have a real problem with him just doing things around the house when I'm away. I'm fairly sure he's dealing with depression (although he has a strong religious faith) and was prepared for that, but I do need him (and continually ask him) to help out at least some, even if it's just putting his dishes in the dishwasher. This sounds trivial, I know, but I cant continue to take care of work, him, and our home; it's exhausting and has been a drain on my own health (I'm battling a nasty case of bronchitis).
Has anyone else experienced this with a partner? Can you make suggestions as to how I can deal with it?