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What was the last week of life like

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

This holiday season does not look to happy for me.
My wife gets worse each day. I am now doing most everything
for her. I just don't really know what to expect. My whole
world has been turned upside down. I am thankful for each day.
We have had a good run in life and lived three lifetimes in the
past 25 years. I guess I am lucky to have found the love of my life.
It breaks my heart to see her going down hill each day. She has had
a great attitude in all of this. but latley everything I do hurts her,
even putting the covers on her or helping with the bed pan. Is this just
the way it is. Do people get mean to you at the end.

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2043
Joined: Oct 2008

You sound like such a caring person.........My Mum-In-Law died of multiple myeloma, she was a Saint in life..........But towards the last couple of months said things nobody could believe...it was awful the stuff she came out with...Yes she got mean towards everyone around her, and I am sure It was NOT what she was thinking. Please, don't take this personally. it is just ranting. Best of luck.. Julia

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

Thank you for your response. It does help knowing it is not her real
self talking. She has been through alot. I guess I would be a little upset with
the world around me if I was the one dying. Sorry about your Mum-in-law.
Take Care

abrzez
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2006

I know how you feel about the holidays. My mom spent her birthday in the hospital, and she was not in the best mood that day, being flippant to her family that visited.
The last few weeks were pretty rough on her, emotionally. When she did hear about the possibility, originally, she started freaking out, and clutching me closely, crying that she didn't want to die...
It was the most heart-wrenching experience. My own mother, my elder, weak in my arms.
The best I can say to you, is that when going through a traumatic experience like this, all you can do is be there for her. As much as it is an emotional toll on you, you have to be strong - you need to be the poster face of support and hope. She needs that strength and courage to go on and get through her day. And if you can do that, even when she may be mean, then you really can be such a big help.
There's nothing better than to have someone you love be there for you to try and make you smile, or just be a shoulder to cry on.
And from the sounds of it, you are already such a great support to her.
Best of luck. You are in my prayers.

MR_SAD's picture
MR_SAD
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

Thank you so much for your response. If I did not have this web site and the
Truly great people that are part of it I don't think I could Cope with all of this.
Just Knowing I am not alone in this Journey makes things bearable.
Have a good Holiday if that is possible. I know it is tough, but think
of the other people around you. I have Kids so I have to balance their Feelings
with my sadness.
Take care
Thanks again for the response.

wstexgirl's picture
wstexgirl
Posts: 7
Joined: Mar 2009

I was uplifted by your post...my dad is also being flippant..at first I took it personel...But now I know he doesnt mean it..the dr told me its chemobrain...man I want my dad back..Sometimes I feel scared of him.. Lisa

maisiemay
Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2008

I am so sorry to here about your love, It and I say this to everyone it WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO IS WATCH BOTH OF MY PARENTS DIE FROM CANCER! My dad just this past June 11 and my mom 3 years ago, dad was lung cancer and fought it for 7 years doctors said he was a miricle , mom had non-hodgkins HORRIBLE to watch, and yes they get nasty I use to try to figure out why I was the ONLY PERSON out of the three of us that took care of home and mom tell death, it was the hardest physically and mentally I ever did. And he was say horrible things to me I said one day heah I am the only one taking care of everything AND I DON'T DESERVE THIS DAD! He felt bad, if she is on morphine which they live on tell passing makes them crazy I think because that is when it started up! I think the other part of why they do that is there SCARED OF LEAVING OF DEATH, AND THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT OUT THERE ANY DIFFERENT? They truly don't mean it I don't think they can help it! Hang in there you sound like a WONDERFUL HUSBAND! AND SHE IS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL CARE TAKER!!

God Bless,
Michele

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