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Partner of Colon Cancer Survior

TALM
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2008

Is there anyone else out there that is going through a rough time with their partner whom is now cancer free? I need some advice on how to deal with our intimate part of our relationship. Its been 1yr 10months since my partner is cancer free.

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

Well I can say it isn't easy for either parties to get back what we left behind while dealing with the fight for our lives. At first there is a fear that seems to go through us that has more to do with our own visions of ourselves. I am the cancer survivor and to begin with we had fears of germs and things since I had a raging blood infection. As the years have gone by it now seems that my partner has a hard time and loneliness seems to set in. I am an 11 year survivor and still struggling to get our lives back including the feeling of being loved and wanted.
Cancer unfortunately changes everything from what we thought to what we now see for ourselves and sometimes after such an ordeal it isn't easy to let one's self let go of the control totally, something we have to do when being with our partners. So much of our cancer life we had no control over anything and now there is a real need to be in control and letting go isn't easy anymore.
I say never give up on the LOVE for that seems to carry us far in our lives. I can only feel that my partner has given up so much to help me and be there for me that I now must do the same and I never stop caring or trying.
Good luck and remember your partner is very fortunate to have had you by her side all this time and for the that fight of her life.
Tara

LDD12
Posts: 4
Joined: Feb 2006

Hi,
I too am a cancer survivor, and one can have a good sex life, but it might be different. As you have come to know, Cancer brings about much change, and it is not just on a physical realm, but equally emotionaly challenging. I don't know any of your specifics, but if you two have good communication , then this to can be worked on. I think both parties need to be honest and open about what has changed, and how each is feeling due to the experience(s) w/cancer.
I can tell you, that it is a struggle at times w/how one may feel after the life long side effects of cancer. Yes, we are all blessed to be "survivors" Thank-God, but it a life long process of recovery and adjusting w/such!
Have you both tried to be intimate w/talking and building from there?
As i said, I know that being open w/your partner is critical.
I hope this helps?
Peace,
Lynn

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