Oct 30, 2008 - 5:48 am
Under another discussion topic I mentioned this theory of mine to someone who responded to one of my postings and I realized that perhaps others would like to comment on this syndrome, that I am pretty sure I made up but is widely recognized in principal I believe. You know how it goes, a dog is abused and then becomes very leary and stressed when anyone comes near it, afraid it will be hurt again?
Well I haven't slept very well the last 2 nights, going back and forth with the prospects of more invasive tests, I have now been told. Starting to feel like a whiner here, you would think I would be used to this stuff after 20 years of testing but it seems like the more they want to do to me the more of a wuss I become. I think of it as a syndrome as I said earlier, I call the 'abused dog syndrome', you beat a dog or mistreat it enough and soon it runs at the sight of you or at the very least stays away and hides or bites even a hand that only wishes to pat or feed it. With people who have had extensive invasive treatments, for me anywho, I feel a kinship with that dog at times, like yesterday when even a kind and gentle doctor suggested two many more invasive tests. Logically it's so stupid, I say to myself in my head (haven't started to talking to myself out loud YET), just do the derned tests one after the other and be done with it but something keeps me from accomplishing that rational reasoning, and for me it's my 'abused dog syndrome' thingy. I have just been poked and proded and nipped and stitched and fed meds that have been 'good for me' but have caused me endless pain and suffering at times, over and over, and now when someone suggests one more invasive procedure or a new med (with all it's fascinating side effects, sigh) I just want to BITE THEM. Then I crawl off to my 'doghouse' and hide, mulling over the suggested new procedures over and over til I feel nauseous, remembering the countless other procedures that I have had to endure that have gone before. Can't figure out how to get through this set of new tests this time, it seems to be worse now - just too many I guess. I suppose in time I will get through them but for now am wondering how many know what I am talking about or should I just call up the padded wagon, reminding them to bring a muzzle when they come? Anyone out there familiar with all of this? Thanks for listening.