Dropping treatment
base61ball
Member Posts: 125
Well after this last weekend of absolute misery, I am rethinking this whole chemotherapy thing. Had my first taxotere - mouth sores, feet feel blistered, unable to move - what am I doing to myself and for what? I made it through the c/a and this was supposedly "better" - just not sure it is worth it.
I read the posts - it appears that you are in pain for years after with the meds, the cancer comes back - what is the purpose of all this?
Feeling very discouraged at this point. It doesn't appear that sticking with the treatment is any better than not - just don't know anymore.
I read the posts - it appears that you are in pain for years after with the meds, the cancer comes back - what is the purpose of all this?
Feeling very discouraged at this point. It doesn't appear that sticking with the treatment is any better than not - just don't know anymore.
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Comments
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22 years ago....
My dear, 22 years ago I felt just as you do now. I lost one breast in '86, went through the whole process, lost the other one in '88 and started all over again. I really thought I could NOT do one more treatment. But I had 2 young children and so I did do one more, and one more.
And I am still here today, and my life is good. Turned 60 this summer with no more awful stuff than most other 60 year old women have going on.
Please don't give up. There are no guarantees of course, but the chances are so good that you can have a life very much worth living far into the future.
You might check out my page where I explain just how much my cancers really affected my life and how much of my life has been as normal as anyone else's. It takes some work but we CAN keep this beast in check....it does not have to ruin every aspect of our lives.
God bless.0 -
Taxotere
Had my 1st taxotere on 7/14 and had mouth sores from it. 3 weeks later I had my 2nd taxotere and it did NOT cause the mouth sores. My 3rd treatment is in a couple of hours- I'm just waiting to see how I respond.
One thing that I have learned here is that we all respond differently even If we have the same CA and treatment. Kind of sucks but I keeps me on my toes, not knowing what to expect.
Hang in there.
Bill S0 -
TaxotereBill.S said:Taxotere
Had my 1st taxotere on 7/14 and had mouth sores from it. 3 weeks later I had my 2nd taxotere and it did NOT cause the mouth sores. My 3rd treatment is in a couple of hours- I'm just waiting to see how I respond.
One thing that I have learned here is that we all respond differently even If we have the same CA and treatment. Kind of sucks but I keeps me on my toes, not knowing what to expect.
Hang in there.
Bill S
Good morning,
I had Taxotere x6 last year and it was an awful time but I also had CHF and MRSA on top of chemo so in the hospital alot. As Bill mentioned, we are all different in our responses to chemo and I so hope you will continue your chemo. Then you will know you have done the best you can to fight this monster. It might not come back, we have to fight.
My first time going thru ACT I got to the point where I didn't want to finish and said I was thru and hubby said he'd throw me in the car if he had too.
I'm glad I did and yes it did come back and I admit I'm having trouble recovering from chemo this time but bet I am older than you and I have other health issues.
If you can try to continue come in here and talk with others and you will find support and encouragement.
Good luck to you,0 -
Don't Give Up Hope
I think we all know all too well what you are feeling. I, too, suffered from taxotere treatments. I had every side effect in the book. But, please talk to your chemo doc or PA about Ativan for your anxiety, Biotiene mouthwash and toothpaste for dry mouth, the salt/baking soda gargle formula for mouth sores (this really worked for me), as well as something for the achiness and bone pain. You'll make it through. Someone on this website told me to think about cancer as a chronic condition. If and when it flares up (returns), you treat it, but more often than not, it doesn't return. Look at the statistics and think of yourself on the sunny side of those numbers. This prospective helps me when I become pessimistic. Please don't give up hope or treatment. You have a husband who, obviously, cares a lot for and about you - hang in there. Hugs, Marilynn0 -
Cure NOT worse than Disease
I guess you will have to trust us on this one, sweetie! Your body is literally being poisoned so as to Kill The Beast, and the rest of you is being affected as well. On top of the cumulative affect of the chemotherapy on you physically, it is well-known that our emotions run wild as well. We are so inner connected, one thing affects the other. The exhaustion, fear, treatment, etc leaves us very vulnerable. That is the BAD news, as you well know.
The GOOD news is~ it does NOT last forever! We rejoice in the milestones of our sisterhood here ( and our brother Bill) and you are numbered among them. We will Hurrah your end of chemo, we will cheer your hair growth, and regale you with our success stories. And soon you will be on the other side of treatment, encouraging those who follow you into CSN.
I am 59~ feel honestly like I am still in my 30's, I am a 5 year survivor who went through ALL of the things most of us did to be called a survivor! I just registered to do a half-marathon, something I never even thought of before cancer. As far as a recurrance is concerned, of course it could happen. But I think it was Johnny Appleseed who said: "Even if I knew the world would end tomorrow, I would plant a tree today". So, without being a Pollyanna, I am happy to be alive and have this day. I have never thought of cancer as a gift~ who would give this to someone??? But it's what happened to me. And you, and thousands of us, men and women alike.
I send you as much of my surplus optimism and strength as you might need , and I am sure I speak for the rest of the amazing survivors in here who shower you with theirs as well. Keep fighting the fight...it is sooo worth it!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Don't stop
I know how you are feeling. I had 4 rounds of Adriamycin/Cytoxan and it was miserable for me. I dreaded the treatment and the very minute the stuff started dripping into my vein I was sick. After the 3rd infusion I very seriously considered stopping treatment. But I continued and my last treatments were Taxol and they were much easier to handle. I know it is very hard, but as the others have said, in the long run it is something you must endure. Years of data show that with adjuvant chemo combined with surgery etc....women are living many healthy years. Think of the chemo as a weapon that is going to war with any stray cells that may be left in your body. Warfare is tough but you must endure for your future. I felt like chemo would never end---5 more treatments left may as well have been 55. But the time did pass and treatment did not seem as long as I thought it would. Talk to your oncologist about meds/strategies to quell the side effects you are having. You CAN make it through this and you will, I promise be glad you did. Keep us posted. Eileen0 -
Dropping treatment
Hi base61ball, I think you should listen to the doctors and stick with the treatment. I know it can be tough but I think it will be worth your while. I have had breast cancer and had a tram flap operation along with chemo therapy. I cry most everyday because I don't feel good and feel like I have post tramatic stress syndrome, but still count my blessings and thank God that I am still alive. Hang in there. I feel like I will have discomfort for the rest of my life. I had 11 lymph nodes removed from my arm along with muscle and tissue. My arm even after physical therapy feels like crap! I put up with the discomfort because I still have hope and I pray that my days will get better. I know that your treatment WILL be worth it... and you will get better too...Just hang in there. Signed: dancingfan0 -
Don't Stop
Dear Baseball: How sorry I am that you are having such a hard time with your treatment. But you can't stop, you have to give yourself a fighting chance and chemo is it. Sure there are no guarantees that it may not come back but there is also the other side of the coin that says you may have beat it. God put us on this earth and only he knows when he wants us back with him so life is not guaranteed to us. We are here on borrowed time to do the best we can, to be great people. Talk to your doctor, there are other treatments out there that may work the same and not give you such bad side effects. But please don't give up. I know you feel this is like the end of the world but we've all been there and we know exactly how you feel. Keep fighting not only for your family but for yourself. Hugs to you, Lili0 -
Thank youdancingfan said:Dropping treatment
Hi base61ball, I think you should listen to the doctors and stick with the treatment. I know it can be tough but I think it will be worth your while. I have had breast cancer and had a tram flap operation along with chemo therapy. I cry most everyday because I don't feel good and feel like I have post tramatic stress syndrome, but still count my blessings and thank God that I am still alive. Hang in there. I feel like I will have discomfort for the rest of my life. I had 11 lymph nodes removed from my arm along with muscle and tissue. My arm even after physical therapy feels like crap! I put up with the discomfort because I still have hope and I pray that my days will get better. I know that your treatment WILL be worth it... and you will get better too...Just hang in there. Signed: dancingfan
For all of your support and kind words. For the record I am 61 years old and live alone. I have been laid off from work so in addition to the financial stress and accompanying credit trashing, I have all of this going on. Its just hard sometimes.
I will take all of your wonderful advice into consideration and maybe in a few days will feel differently about it. Thank you so much for being there for me.
At some point there has to be something positive to come out of this - just can't see it clearly right now and too under the weather to care, I guess. I'll let you all know what happens. Have a blessed day.0 -
Quitting
Hi!
Can't seem to figure out how to send a private message--definite brain freeze!
You know, that I know how you feel since we're at the same stage of chemo. I've been having some of the beginings of the same feelings. It's gone on so long, the side effects are the pits and don't seem to want to quit---just multiply.
BUT, the thing that keeps me going (if not sane), is that there's only 3 more to go, and like everyone says, it's (supposed) to get better. I know with the A/C, as terrible as it was, I have to admit that they got slightly easier with each infusion. I'm counting on that happening here too.
It's not just one day at a time, I feel like it's one hour at a time. I do ANYTHING to make time pass---not excluding naps. Each minute and hour takes me closer to the last infusion and a better chance for recovery and a new normal.
I know people give you the line about "God not giving you more than you can handle", and it sounds really trite and you want to tell them what to do with their cute sayings. I've had a number of "challenges" that I was sure were over the top, but amazingly I'm still here. This time the "more" is me, and while you hestitate to give up for family and friends, they're the ones that need you now and take their clues from you.
Please reconsider. It's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do, but remember that we're all there for you---write and complain, rail, yell, whatever, but keep on keeping on---we all need you!!
(((Big Hugs)))
Jan0 -
You sound just like I did.
You sound just like I did. Full blown panic over what long term harm these poisons could be doing. Taxotere was the worse one for me. 72hrs after my first hit and my mouth and bones were on fire. Scared the hell out of me.
There is a mouthwash for your sores that works very well. Ask them. And neurontin may help with your feet. Between that and morphine I got through it. I don't think the second or third shot was as bad though.
I am a little over 1 year out of chemo and I take a very low dosage of neurontin for my feet and legs. It is all quite manageable. The taxotere made me very depressed too. Just know it's the drug and will eventually fade away.
Best of luck to you
jan0 -
Thanks JanNorcalJ said:Quitting
Hi!
Can't seem to figure out how to send a private message--definite brain freeze!
You know, that I know how you feel since we're at the same stage of chemo. I've been having some of the beginings of the same feelings. It's gone on so long, the side effects are the pits and don't seem to want to quit---just multiply.
BUT, the thing that keeps me going (if not sane), is that there's only 3 more to go, and like everyone says, it's (supposed) to get better. I know with the A/C, as terrible as it was, I have to admit that they got slightly easier with each infusion. I'm counting on that happening here too.
It's not just one day at a time, I feel like it's one hour at a time. I do ANYTHING to make time pass---not excluding naps. Each minute and hour takes me closer to the last infusion and a better chance for recovery and a new normal.
I know people give you the line about "God not giving you more than you can handle", and it sounds really trite and you want to tell them what to do with their cute sayings. I've had a number of "challenges" that I was sure were over the top, but amazingly I'm still here. This time the "more" is me, and while you hestitate to give up for family and friends, they're the ones that need you now and take their clues from you.
Please reconsider. It's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do, but remember that we're all there for you---write and complain, rail, yell, whatever, but keep on keeping on---we all need you!!
(((Big Hugs)))
Jan
Private is check on inbox, by the way - it took me a while to figure that one out.
I know you are right - up to now I have been able to maintain - to keep above it to keep on keeping on - but when I woke up at 3 in the morning with my feet and bones on fire and my mouth and throat a raging inferno, its hard to keep things in perspective.
This too shall pass. If I didn't believe that I would just put a stop to it. Just have to muster the strength to do the next one - and not sure where that will come from quite frankly. My daughter said that since I did have a rather easy time with c/a that I had a right to complain - somehow doesn't feel like I should be complaining -so many people are worse off than me.
Do not know what I would do without the website - at least you all don't think I have lost my mind or tell me to shut up and stop complaining. I know that you "get it". Thanks0 -
That's encouragingBill.S said:Taxotere
Had my 1st taxotere on 7/14 and had mouth sores from it. 3 weeks later I had my 2nd taxotere and it did NOT cause the mouth sores. My 3rd treatment is in a couple of hours- I'm just waiting to see how I respond.
One thing that I have learned here is that we all respond differently even If we have the same CA and treatment. Kind of sucks but I keeps me on my toes, not knowing what to expect.
Hang in there.
Bill S
To know you didn't get mouth sores the second time. They are the pits, I know that for sure.0 -
You Can Do It!
I know that things seem dark now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up! Know that this is temporary. How you are feeling today is not forever.
You're going to get thru this, and when you do, you're not going to be plagued with "What If?" You will know that you have done everything possible to kill the Beast and keep him gone. The treatment is agressive because it works! As lousy as you feel, visualize what the poison is doing to the cancer: It is attacking it merclessly. I know it's hard but this treatment is your friend.
Come back and vent to us as often as you need. We are here for you, and we want you to beat this! Fight, fight, fight.
Sending lots of strong positive thoughts your way,
Kim0 -
It does get better
Hey 61,
To be honest, this is a roller coaster ride for us. There are ups and downs, some tunnels, some turns, some days you hear the click, click, click as the ride rises and the swosh as it decends. I have been through so much and just tonight I told my husband that I don't think I can fight any more. That was 2 hours ago and now I feel pretty good. I think just being able to "sit on the pity pot" and be able to voice/write your angers, fears, joys, helps it get out of the mind. Don't sit and let it consume you, be sure to call a friend or write to us. It helps just to get it out. Please do not stop your chemo because what will be left? Living and breathing is so much better than the alternative and it does get better. Talk with your doctors about how you are feeling and do call the 24/7 cancer line. They answer at all time and it is helpful to talk. We are here!!!!!! Angela0 -
when it rains...base61ball said:Thank you
For all of your support and kind words. For the record I am 61 years old and live alone. I have been laid off from work so in addition to the financial stress and accompanying credit trashing, I have all of this going on. Its just hard sometimes.
I will take all of your wonderful advice into consideration and maybe in a few days will feel differently about it. Thank you so much for being there for me.
At some point there has to be something positive to come out of this - just can't see it clearly right now and too under the weather to care, I guess. I'll let you all know what happens. Have a blessed day.
Cancer does not happen in a vacuum does it?
I lost my hubby to cancer....I got cancer and he got lost.
All of a sudden I was a single mother, disabled, no income, and taking on the care of both my parents. THEN I got my third cancer diagnosis in a span of 10 years.
I know you feel overwhelmed. The only way to cope is to break it all up into 15 minute segments sometimes and just keep telling yourself 'hey, I can do 15 minutes'. Then let that 15 minutes go and tackle the next 15.
Ask for help, use all available resources, cut corners, cry, scream, and most importantly...come here and let us hug you.
HUUUUUUUGS.0 -
Sending you hugs and encouragement
I have been where you are and at times I still wonder what the h#@l I am doing. This is what I do when I begin to feel helpless.......... I ask myself what the alternative is? The dirt nap snapps me right out of it! There are many people who would miss you dearly, I don't even know you and I would miss the opportunity to get to know you. I don't know if that helps at all but you should know that there are so many of us here that you can reach out to anytime you need to. So talk to us, yell and scream when you need to, cry and laugh too. We are your new found friends talk to us anytime. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers always........Edie E0 -
dropping treatment
To those who have had mouth sores during chemo. I was helped with that dilemma by gargling with powdered slippery elm mixed in water. I did it faithfully several times a day and brushed often to keep my mouth clean. The slippery elm worked excellently. You can buy it at health food stores.
Although chemo wasn't as horrible as I'd imagined it would be, I didn't like it. But, I was able to be sociable and drive my car around, which is freedom to me. I think the hope it gave me outweighs the side effects. My body has returned nearly to normal since then, except I continue to not have a strong sense of smell and taste, but they're slowly returning.
Hope this helps
FF0 -
Taxol......
Hi Base6....I am also a br. ca survivor.....surgery and chemo and rads...now lymphedema in arm.
I too found Taxol to be the worse for me....I seen many different dr's about my feet. Numb, tingling, burning and very sore to walk on....it's been awhile now and the nerve ends are starting to heal. I thank God for that, I know what your going thru but like the others said...hang in there, the best is yet to come. Life is worth it hon...there are meds like Lyrica out there for pain and others....health stores can help with neuropathy too, search out what helps you best.
We just 'get thru it' and there IS light at the end of the tunnel....
God bless you and may His peace be yours.
Love Buffy0 -
dropping treatment
I know you don't mean it about quitting treatment cause you're not a quitter. It's just the frustration you're feeling. I'm going through that now myself. As far as financial help. There is help out there. I applied to about 7 Breast Cancer foundations and 6 came through for me. One even gave me $2000.00. One paid 2 of my car payments. Some gave Supermarket gift cards ($650 and $200) and some gave cash ranging from $250-$500. There is help out there. I wouldn't have even thought about it until I mentioned to the breast care co-ordinator at the hospital where I had my Mast. that I was being financially destroyed by the mos. off from work I needed. She printed out a bunch of applications to these foundations and I am so grateful. Besides the emotional wreck I was, I didn't need the financial problem on top of it. It didn't get me out of fin. devastation but it sure helped. Talk to the social worker/breast care counselor at your hospital to see what they can come up with.
Good luck
Jamiesue0
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