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coping after 1 year

arbrab's picture
arbrab
Posts: 55
Joined: Nov 2007

It has been 1 year 2 months and 1 day since I lost my soul mate for life. I have tryed the group sessions, not for me. The chat room was my salvation. It seems to be getting harder instead of better and I don't know how to deal with the loss anymore. I remember him in his last days. Not like he was throughout our 34 years together. How do you go on? I'm at a loss!!! Any suggestions from anyone going through the same thing.

arbrab's picture
arbrab
Posts: 55
Joined: Nov 2007

thank you soooo much. i knew my angels were out there i just got lost from them. you are one of them. i use my name backwards so if you see me there you'll know who i am. thanks again

wadders10
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2007

I am too coping with a loss of my sister I had the privilege to be with her for 33 years, I agree with you as time passes the reality sets in and it gets much harder, I too struggle to forget the last days and try to remember the good times but the last days always creep in. I don't have an answer on how to cope but I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I have created a memorial/picture frame of mine and my sisters life together, although it tears me apart to look at it sometimes, I also hope she can see I have done that and every day I go to that frame and say Hi and tell her the day's news, sad maybe - but somehow it helps me cope and she feels closer too me, Try it you never know, but never doubt you are alone there will always be someone to help.

arbrab's picture
arbrab
Posts: 55
Joined: Nov 2007

I have our last family picture hanging to where I see it every morning when I wake up. I look at it and just don't remember that person. People that I know who have lost their partner to cancer has said it gets better after time. To me it is getting harder and harder everyday. Even my mom says it gets better, but I lost my dad to a heart attack, real fast. He walked in the house and passed. So it is different even for my mom. I watched my husband slowly die and couldn't do anything about it. I think that the worse part is everytime I asked him what am I gonna do when your gone he would just say " I LOVE YOU". I guess he didn't know either. Thanks for your response. It's good to know that there are people who are dealing with the past present issue as I am. I just don't know how to remember the past, or if I ever will. I can't even tool at the photo albums yet. Too hard. Guess as time passes I will, just not now. Be at Peace

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

Very nice, Za!

Take care, my friend.

Joe

arbrab's picture
arbrab
Posts: 55
Joined: Nov 2007

That was very beautiful. Thank you muchly. I know that he is here with me, every once in awhile I feel his presence. I figured he didn't know what to say to me. He knew that I would be taken care of and he didn't have to worry. And I knew that he didn't want to leave, but he was tired and didn't want to live life as he was, putting the burden on me any longer. In which let me tell you, he was not a burden. He was my love, my life for 34 years.
Can I copy your poem for myself. It really brought peace to my heart.
barbra

dscott
Posts: 35
Joined: Feb 2008

For me it has been 2 months and 2 days since my Johnny has died so I can not really say how to cope because I can not. Everyone says this will get easier but for me right now it is getting harder. I find myself isolating myself more and more. I hope you start to feel better...Debbie

Goodkind
Posts: 10
Joined: Jan 2008

Hi,
I totally understand what you are going through. I lost my dad four months ago and I am a only child so it was up to me to take care of him. During this time I kept telling myself that when the end does come he will be in peace and I believe that to be true, but what about me. I feel that there was so much more that I could have done or said. I find myself picking up the phone to call him about something his grandson did and then it hits me that he is gone forever. I was daddy's little girl and he was my rock and now that is gone. I believe it will get better, when, who knows. The best thing that I have found is to stay busy, enjoy life and remember the good times that we had with our loved ones. The memories in the last days with them will always be there however unpleasant they might be, but they are still memories of the time you had with them. Cherish all of them.
Good Luck and Best Wishes.

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