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Relationships & Ferility

srisko's picture
srisko
Posts: 34
Joined: Apr 2008

Hi everyone,
I had ALL when was a little girl; I was five. I am now 23 and hardest things I am dealing with is relationships and ferility. I have zero experience when it comes to dating. No guy has ever asked me on a date and I've never had a boyfriend and its so hard to deal with the fact that you are 23 years old and havn't even had your first kiss yet and now my oncologist tells me I could go through early menopause because of my chemo. What if I can't find the right guy in time and I won't be able to have children? If there are any other young women out there dealing with this please help me. I want to share my life with someone but I'm not sure how to go about it.

DonnerB26's picture
DonnerB26
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2004

Hi!
I had Hodgkin's in 2002 when I was 16. I am 22 now and every time I have a check-up I always hear about the early menopause and infertility stuff.
My cancer has never been a major issue with guys, as I have mostly just casually dated/"hung out" with them. So the possibility of me being infertile has never been an issue.

Although it does freak me out too, my advice to you is to focus on the positives in your life right now!! We can't make a relationship happen, and usually it is the people you aren't expecting/trying to meet who end up being the greatest people in your life. For me, I'm going to enjoy the healthy, youthful years I have right now being with my friends and family and enjoying the single life. I like the fact that I am not tied down anywhere, and thus can pursue more educational and career opportunities anywhere I wish. I'm enjoying the fact that I have yet to suffer any serious, secondary effects of my cancer treatment...and try not to worry about the "what ifs" that may occur in the future. Believe me, I have my days when I wish there was someone to come home to and less to stress over...but I try to always look on the bright side.

It may be little comfort, but you are an amazing person just for having survived cancer...and someday someone will realize it and thank God nobody snatched you up earlier!!

BeccaDrewAPicture's picture
BeccaDrewAPicture
Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2009

I had ALL as well, but I was only 2-ish, currently I'm 17 (almost 18). When the right time comes you will find someone who will treat you right! When I wasn't even looking for someone I found the person I'm meant to be with, trust me you'll know! I know I sound like some crazy teen, but I promise you it's good advice, someone told it to me a while ago and I listened. I may only be 17, but age doesn't really matter.. who says we're supposed to fall in love at a set time in life? Save that kiss for the boy that is going to treat you like the princess you deserve to be treated like! Just be yourself and don't worry about what others think, because if someone can't love you the way you are, they aren't deserving of you!

Even if you go through menopause early you could always consider adoption (I'm actually adopted) because there are PLENTY of babies out there looking for a good home with loving parents.

Best of luck!

StarMunchkin's picture
StarMunchkin
Posts: 4
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi there... if you're still out there that is, lol. I'm 26 years old and I had Neuroblastoma when I was three. I was given full body radiation as the cancer had spread throughout my body and chemo. I was told I'll never be able to have children because I don't produce hormones naturally (I had to do growth hormone shots followed by hormone replacement therapy drugs... and still am to prevent my body from going through menopause) and because of the amount of radiation I was given my 'eggs' were probably all damaged. Trust me I know how hard it is when everyone you know is dating and getting into relationships. The best thing you can do is be yourself, someone is bound to notice how special you are. I noticed the more anti-social and 'clammed up' I became the less people wanted to be around me. And if someone is going to judge you based on your ability to have children then they're obviously not the one for you. I hate to do it but to quote a movie "There's no wrong way to start a family." There's always IVF, donor eggs/embryos, surrogacy, and adoption. Also, you can still have children after menopause, though you will need medical assistance to get pregnant, menopause is not the end. If all else fails, get a puppy. I have two. =P

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