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23 years old, 18 years in remission, and scared about fertility

srisko's picture
srisko
Posts: 34
Joined: Apr 2008

I had ALL and age five and because of the chemo I could go through early menopause; as early as 35 and I have such big issues with dating, is in I've never been on a date or been in a relationship, that I'm so afraid I won't find the right guy in time. If there are any young women out there with the same problem please help me, I need some advice.
Sarah

writernfighter
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2008

Hi,
I'm in the same boat, actually. At this point, the best thing I can suggest is to try to be as sociable and outgoing as you can. I just figure, if I get into a relationship now (I'm 24), then I'd take it as it comes, and while I advocate being honest about what your body can and can't do, I also figure that the "right" guy won't be the kind scared off by our pasts. They have a problem with it, well, that's their problem, not ours!

I don't know if there's anything else I can suggest, without venturing into the realm of "well-meaning but rather pointless" advice. I suppose this is something we just add to the list of "stuff that comes with survivorship." Maybe consider talking to your oncologist for a referral to a counselor who can give you more objective advice? If you want to discuss further, I'm always willing to talk.

Good luck!
---Cori

AuthorUnknown
Posts: 1564
Joined: May 2006

please take a look at this:

http://www.tinyurl.com/3dqbxg

thanks!

JoeysGirl406
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2008

Cori, it looks like you pretty much covered it.

And it looks we're all in the same boat when it comes to the dating part. (I'm 22 and I've been having trouble trying to figure out how to explain the past to people, also.)

kerrie
Posts: 12
Joined: Feb 2002

I had ALL when I was three. It's nice finding people that understand how you feel. I'm going through the same thing. I've always wanted to get married and have a family but I don't think that will ever happen. I hope you find the guy you are looking for. Good luck. I would like to talk more if you'd like.
Kerrie

tiggertoo's picture
tiggertoo
Posts: 31
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi I am a 6 yr survivor of ALL and I went into what I like to call "instant menopause" when I was diagnosed at the ripe ol age of 33. I have one son who is now 11 yrs old. My hubby & I had always talked about having a second child. At this point in my life, with all the ongoing medical issues, long-term and late-effects from treatment, I am satisfied that I have what God knew I could handle. If I wasn't, I would certainly look into adoption -- no it is not near the same as conceiving, carrying and having a child -- however, I have many friends who have adopted for a variety of reasons and they have transformed a child's life. They would not now trade that child for ANY other. We are still open to the possiblity if God tells us to do it. For now, I feel I have enough on my plate and feel like I am just finally starting to have a life again. I know I could not deal with the demands of an infant.

For those who wish to have the option of having kids, I would go see a Fertility expert, ASAP! There are so many advances in the area of fertility as well as cancer treatment. My younger sister who doesn't have any other major medical issues, had to have surgery and go on fertility medication in order to conceive a child. They may be able to harvest eggs now and freeze to replant later -- if they can prepare a women to bear eggs who knows what is possible. Find out what your options truly are before you give up hope.

Blessings and best of luck to you!
tiggertoo

Mel_anie
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2008

Hello,

I thought I would have a problem with getting a guy to like me for me. Just be yourself and dont let it get the best of you. After I dated my husband for a month or so I told him about my past with what I had been through as a young child. I also had to tell him that it would be difficult for us to conceive after we where married. If its ment to be the right guy, he will completely understand. We are going through the stress of starting our family and we keep running in to dead ends.

Melanie
eldermj@missouri.edu

kstradford
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi to all,
Well all is not necessarily lost. I was diagnosed with Acute Promylocetic Leukemia in 2001, I was 23. I went through the chemo for months, and then constant trips back and forth to the hospital for Bone Marrow biopsies and everything else that goes along with the treatment. When I was diagnosed I already had a daughter she was 18 months, and I did long for another child. Because things happened so quickly I was not told anything about saving eggs before treatment started or that I may not be able to have any more kids until after it was said and done. Well...after all the treatments my doctor broke the news to me, that there would be no more children. But God had a different plan. In 2006, I went to the doctor, just feeling tired and having heartburn, well what do you know the doctor said Maam you are pregnant. I was in complete shock, my oncologist told me I could not have any more kids!!!! In 2007 my son Messiah was born, and yes he has a BIG name to live up too!!! He was premature, but nothing that God couldnt handle. He was out of the hospital in 1 month. Messiah was home for 2 months and I began to feel sick again. Went to the doctor when Messiah turned 10 weeks, and what do you know I was pregnant again!!! Surprise Surprise!! Waylek Jr, was born 9 months later, healthy and happy (same as Messiah except he was a little early for the party). All that to say, I was told I would never have babies again, but God had a different plan for me and my family, and he could very well have a different one for you ladies. You are all still pretty young. My boys just turned 1 and 2, and I am turning 31 next month, and hoping to get one more in to make 2 boys and 2 girls by the time my youngest boy turns 5. So it can happen, pray about it, he will work it out for the good! If you need to talk or just want someone to listen cyprss_t@yahoo.com

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