are there people who can not take aNY for of chemo?

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Fergus2007
Fergus2007 Member Posts: 109
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
It seems my father really isn't doing well with the pill chemo.

He had tried two rounds of IV chemo in Oct/Nov and lost 40 lbs due to diarrhea.

Now after 8 weeks off chemo and trying the chemo pill he has lost some more.

Is it possible that some people just can not handle ANY chemo?
... or is it still possible to fight this stage 4 by fighting the side effects?

We are having a hard time to get it into his head that he NEEDS to eat and drink.
... but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he doesn't really believe that it is possible to beat this.
I think to him the side effects are the signs.

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  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #2
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    Hi Fergus,
    Speaking as a Stage IV survivor I know that he HAS to believe it is possible, otherwise it probably isn't. I cannot recall your fathers exact case. Is Xeloda the only thing that he is on? I don't know if he is on any other chemo or not, but being Stage IV I would be surprised if he is only on Xeloda. What is his situation at the moment. I am sorry, but it is hard to remember the details. He does need to be eating and drinking and he needs to be strong and believe that he can beat this thing. I know chemo effects everyone differently, but personally I don't think that any of them are so horrid that you cannot tolerate it at all (unless you are having an allergic reaction or very low blood counts, etc.). However, you can't do anything to make him persevere. I am sorry he is experiencing intolerable side effects, but he has to want to do it and get through it. It is not up to you, it is up to him. There are many of us here who have beaten Stage IV disease, but you really have to believe that you will do so and fight as they say. If he isn't up to it I really don't know what to tell you. He could quit all chemo and just start taking care of his nutrition, etc., that is always an option. He may have a decent quality of life for a while. At some point you do have to weigh the options of quality over quantity. It is a rough thing to have to think and talk about. However, if I were you I would have a little sit down pow wow with him. Maybe you can take him to a major cancer center for another opinion about what can be done and that will be just the thing to lift his spirits and get him to plug on. Ultimately, however, it is up to him what he wants to do.
    Best wishes,
    Susan H.
  • Fergus2007
    Fergus2007 Member Posts: 109
    #3
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    shmurciakova said:

    Hi Fergus,
    Speaking as a Stage IV survivor I know that he HAS to believe it is possible, otherwise it probably isn't. I cannot recall your fathers exact case. Is Xeloda the only thing that he is on? I don't know if he is on any other chemo or not, but being Stage IV I would be surprised if he is only on Xeloda. What is his situation at the moment. I am sorry, but it is hard to remember the details. He does need to be eating and drinking and he needs to be strong and believe that he can beat this thing. I know chemo effects everyone differently, but personally I don't think that any of them are so horrid that you cannot tolerate it at all (unless you are having an allergic reaction or very low blood counts, etc.). However, you can't do anything to make him persevere. I am sorry he is experiencing intolerable side effects, but he has to want to do it and get through it. It is not up to you, it is up to him. There are many of us here who have beaten Stage IV disease, but you really have to believe that you will do so and fight as they say. If he isn't up to it I really don't know what to tell you. He could quit all chemo and just start taking care of his nutrition, etc., that is always an option. He may have a decent quality of life for a while. At some point you do have to weigh the options of quality over quantity. It is a rough thing to have to think and talk about. However, if I were you I would have a little sit down pow wow with him. Maybe you can take him to a major cancer center for another opinion about what can be done and that will be just the thing to lift his spirits and get him to plug on. Ultimately, however, it is up to him what he wants to do.
    Best wishes,
    Susan H.

    He's on;y on Xelado for now.

    He had been on an IV research drug. I think it was full-fox and something else - BUT: It worked so well on him that his stent passed though his colon and caused blood poisening.

    SO: the chemo drugs seem to be working well on him BUT: he has a lot of side effects.
    Only at this point (after having had blood poisening and having spent a week in a coma he is rather weak) - so we can't affort him getting weaker because he's not eating/moving/hydrating

    AND:
    Don't mind me: I know I have a bad attitude right now but I haven't had any sleep in a while.
    My father has stage 4 colon cancer and I'm taking care of him ... and my boyfriend (47) isn't sure if he wants kid (or commitment I have a feeling :)
    All I know is: I'm getting frustrated at my boyfriend and I can't get the stench of changing my father diapers out of my nose.
    My question is:
    Is it really bad to be drinking? :)
    and:
    Is it insane to think both will pull through?
    I've heard of stage 4 colon cancer people who have become NED (no evidence of disease) as I have heard of guys in their late 40's who have decided to commit for the first time.
    ... awaiting your response ... as I'm waiting for that boyfriend of a year to commit and my father to say he will drink enough water not to get dehydrated and eat enough food not to loose any more weight.
  • nanagrandma
    nanagrandma Member Posts: 40
    #4
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    i didnt loose that much weight but i did radiation and chemo lost 30 lbs. with the two. i was also on the chemo pill ended up in the hospital for a week couldnt eat and had alot of diarreah.I'm doing chemo agian right now and have days that i just do not feel like eating. I force myself cause i know i have to.I hope your dad can relize its in his best intrest to eat and drink to help him get better. I will be praying for him take care and God Bless.
  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #5
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    Geez Fergus,
    That is tough! I am sure your father is feeling really weak right now and is probably grumpy as all get out. I cannot imagine if I was taking care of my father in this situation! However, he really has to at least be drinking and getting his electrolytes back in balance. Will he drink Gatorade or something like that?
    As for the diarrhea, to control that you have to take tons of Immodium in a certain manner. The doctors can give you instructions or he can get an Rx for a prescription anti-diarrhea med. I guess he can do that now that the blood poisoning is taken care of. I am sure he feels like holy hell, but if he wants to get better he must eat and drink! Tell him if he doesn't he's gonna end up back in the hospital on TNP (IV food) which is no walk in the park speaking from experience!
    Have you called hospice? I know that they have been a great help to many people in your shoes. Call your onc or local hospital and see if your dad can get a hospice nurse to come over and help you all. Tell them he's not eating or drinking and is soiling himself, etc.
    As for the boyfriend, this must be super trying on your relationship. If he sticks with you through all this he's a keeper, otherwise, maybe it isn't meant to be. Do you mean is it bad for you to be drinking? Well, I would probably be doing something, as long as you aren't getting sloshed or anything.
    Take care and call hospice! Maybe they can at least get your Dad some IV fluids! Sounds like a stubborn old guy, nothing unusual.
    -Susan H.
  • Fergus2007
    Fergus2007 Member Posts: 109
    #6
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    shmurciakova said:

    Geez Fergus,
    That is tough! I am sure your father is feeling really weak right now and is probably grumpy as all get out. I cannot imagine if I was taking care of my father in this situation! However, he really has to at least be drinking and getting his electrolytes back in balance. Will he drink Gatorade or something like that?
    As for the diarrhea, to control that you have to take tons of Immodium in a certain manner. The doctors can give you instructions or he can get an Rx for a prescription anti-diarrhea med. I guess he can do that now that the blood poisoning is taken care of. I am sure he feels like holy hell, but if he wants to get better he must eat and drink! Tell him if he doesn't he's gonna end up back in the hospital on TNP (IV food) which is no walk in the park speaking from experience!
    Have you called hospice? I know that they have been a great help to many people in your shoes. Call your onc or local hospital and see if your dad can get a hospice nurse to come over and help you all. Tell them he's not eating or drinking and is soiling himself, etc.
    As for the boyfriend, this must be super trying on your relationship. If he sticks with you through all this he's a keeper, otherwise, maybe it isn't meant to be. Do you mean is it bad for you to be drinking? Well, I would probably be doing something, as long as you aren't getting sloshed or anything.
    Take care and call hospice! Maybe they can at least get your Dad some IV fluids! Sounds like a stubborn old guy, nothing unusual.
    -Susan H.

    My father is stubborn all right.
    I was ready to get out the funnel for force feeding :)
    Not that *I'M* stubborn or anything :)

    Hospice? Really?
    I guess they might be able to help.
    A home-care nurse comes by to check on him every week.
    I saw she had a Hospice application form in her file ... .
    I guess she she thought my diapering and wiping ability was perfect because she never mentioned it.
    She said she would check on him on Monday to see if he needs IV fluids.

    I'm just concerned that he will not be strong enough for further treatment if he keeps this up.
    My brother and I got him to drink more today and he seems to be making more sense.
    It's certainly an improvement from a couple of days ago when he was calling me names for trying to get him to eat. :)
    (This morning he actually asked for scrambled eggs.)

    ... as for the boyfriend: he's been hanging in there for the last 1/2 year and he is a great support - I just wished there would be a "happy event" in the future. :)

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