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Brain Cancer Widow

mellgld3
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2007

My name is Mellisa Dockins and I am 28 years old. I had been married for almost 6 years and together with my late husband for 8 years. We have a gorgeous little 5 yr old boy. Off and on I had left my husband several times hoping he would get his priorities straight. I never wanted to divorce him. I just wanted him to want his wife and son FIRST in his life. Well we moved back in together In January of 2006. We both had changed a lot and we had the greatest year anyone could ever have. We both were so funny and loved each other so much. He would call me his fire cracker. On january 9th of this year, 2007, I got a phone call that I needed to get home because he felt something was wrong and wanted me to come home right away and take him to the hospital. My son and I arrived and saw my husband sleeping on the couch (he fell asleep often on the couch). So, I sent our 5 yr old to wake up daddy. Luckily for me, my son didnt realize what color face daddy was supposed to have. So my son then came and told me that "Daddy, didn't want to wake up". Then, I went to give it a try. My Husband, Gary, was all blue in the face and his lips were already black. I freaked. I ran and called 911. Next, I put my son in the front room so that he could look for the fire truck. Then, I ran back to the couch and began to clear my husband's air way with my finger. I had to pry his mouth open. I thought my husband was dead. I was able to move his tongue from his throat and his face slowly began to turn pink again. Then, Finally Snoring!! He was snoring like a big bear. I knew he was breathing again, so I ran to my son and told him that Daddy was just sleeping like a big bear now. Paramedics arrived and rushed him to the hospital. We were told that first night that my husband had had a seizure. He had never had one before. Then we were told that same night, that there were three masses on his brain. January 22, His biopsy surgery, The doctor came out of surgery and told us that they were definately cancer and looked like maybe my husband would have 2 months or so to live. I just lost it. I couldnt believe this was happening. How was I to tell our son, Gary III, that Daddy was really sick. well, I did just that. Kids are smart and he knew something was wrong. Well, my husband, the strongest person I knew was telling all of us that he was going to beat this. I was there to fight the whole way with him. On Feb, 2. We visited the oncologist and my husband asked her worst case/best case scenarios. She told us worst case 3-5 months and best case 2-2 1/2 yrs. Well she was wrong. On Feb. 6th, my huband was rushed back to the hospital and I followed w/ my mother. I feel that my husband waited for me to get there because, once I finally got in to see him, I was not even in there 10 minutes and I was able to tell him " I love you baby so much" and he responded, I love you to" , seconds later his head fell down and I was told that he has instantly slipped into a coma. He stayed into a coma for 4 days. I had to make the decision to take him off the life support on the 9th. and his strong self last 8 hours on his own before he passed. So, it went from hearing 3-5 months to try and handle to instantly 8 days later, my precious husband would be taken from me and my son. That night of the 9th, I ran to my friends house (where my son was) to tell him what had happened. I sat down my smart little man. I told him that the doctors at the hospital did not have the right medicine to make daddy's headaches go away....BUT that Jesus and God had the right medicine in heaven and that daddy had to go up to heaven to get that medicine and feel better. Now, I am religious but you can call me inactive for the last several years...but I have taught my son all about God and heaven. So, I then looked straight into my sons eyes and asked him if he knew what that meant. He looked back up at me and said...."My daddy died hah mommy?", I replied (with plenty of tears) "Yes, Baby, daddy did die, but he will always love you and always be in our hearts" My son then looked at me and asked me if he could cry. I told him that he sure could. We both sat there crying. My sister-in-law had gone with me to tell him. That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. We buried my husband on Valentine's day, I was against it at first but what better day would a wife have to bury her husband but on the day of love. I miss him so very much. And, I am not asking for pity, but just merely wanted to share my story. It is going on the ONE year mark…I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be…My son and I talk about daddy everyday… My biggest fear is that my son will forget him…..

janinemah's picture
janinemah
Posts: 53
Joined: Feb 2006

Give your son a hug from me.
I know this had to of been hard on you...sometimes I think which is worse, losing someone fast or having to watch this aweful beast take away the person you know and love so slowly...
I still dont know the answer to that,,,just that it's hard either way!,

Hang in there,
Janine.
PS I lost my mom after she fought this for 17 months..she went trough hell and I was helpless.

Goodkind
Posts: 10
Joined: Jan 2008

I am so sorry for your loss. I am a single mother with a 2yr old boy and my dad is fighting Brain Cancer. He is in his last stages and I am so scared that my son will forget his grandfather who loves him more then anything. I have made sure that I have taken LOTS of pictures and I am starting a scrapbook and journal that way when he's older he can look back and see the love his grandfather had for him. I promised my father that I would always tell my son how much he was loved by his grandpa and how he will be his guardian angel. Take care and always share your stories with your son and he will not forget.

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