Jan 15, 2008 - 8:00 pm
I wrote a message in here awhile ago, and you were all so kind to reply with such support, and concern. Now, I am writing about another issue that has happened to me lately. It may seem unreal, and if it did not happen to me, I might doubt it too. Last April, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I had a third of my lung removed, as well as the lymph nodes in that area. I had a very slow, and painful recovery. A couple of months ago I approached the doctors with concerns about my pain level, and I just felt really bad. They did not listen, and gave me an apointment that was a month away. In the meantime, I got really bad and ended up in the intensive care unit with obstructive airway pneumonia. The doctors, and there were more than one, told me, and my family that the cancer had returned, and there were three tumors. One of them next to my heart. And that is what caused me to be sick. They said I had at the most, a year to live. The crazy part, well, I saw an oncologist for follow up, and he said there is not any true basis for them to have said the cancer returned. He said in his opinion, the cancer did not return. That he does not know why they told me, and my family that I was dying. I had no reason to disbelieve what the doctors told me. I have spent a month and a half believing that I am dying. I cannot believe the doctors would tell me that without being correct, or knowing what they were talking about. It's like one of the worst things to tell a patient that they are dying, and they are not. Or that the cancer was back when it was not. They even showed my parents the xray film pointing out where the tumors were. Or rather were they assumed they were. Am I glad the cancer is most likely not back, of course. But the pain and agony that I have gone through is unspeakable. And for my 15 year old son. And the rest of my family. How can I trust the medical profession again. This feels like a really bad sci fi movie..If it was just me, I would doubt my sanilty, but my family was told this too. And witnessed conversations between the doctors and myself. How do I get the trust back that I need to have. I was able to get a second opinion from a totally different doctor. He wants to do more tests and scans before he gives me a definite answer. But he did say if it returned, it as small. And the doctors telling me I would die in a year was premature, and should not have been done. My poor dad has been through so much. When he heard what the last doctor said, he was amazed, happy, then cried because of the stress of believing his only daughter had a year to live. I know this sounds crazy. As I started this post off with. It feels to me at times that it is not real. Maybe in time, I'll view it better. The journey is not over yet. I still need scans, and tests, and so forth. I need a competent doctor to determine whether the cancer is back. How I can get my trust in the medical profession I do not know. And I think, how could they do this to me. What an awful thing. I hope someone believes me, as I already feel like I'm on another planet. Help? Anyone lose faith in our great medical profession? I would love to hear your experiences.. And thank you for reading this.