I am sorry that you and your partner are having to face so much but one thing that you can count on that is good is that you are together.
I am a 10 years survivor of stage 3 IDC breast cancer with 11 out of 21 nodes were positive. I know it has been a hard long road since your partner has to deal with reoccurances. I have not, so far so good for me.
I want you to know that I was very fortunate to have a partner that was willing to stay by my side and be my support though it wasn't what she had signed up for or wasn't anything she had wanted for our lives together. WE learned that life isn't always what we would like it to be. After many years of illness and struggling with our lives left after treatments and side effects we have managed to stay together and are building the life we have dreamed of together. It has not been easy and cancer doesn't make everything ok either. There were times during my battle I thought we would never make it because it was hard to deal with. But we did though we had some very difficult times and I am so grateful for that today, working on our 17 year together.
I know stage 4 diagnosis is a very scary time in your lives but know that it so different for everyone and that people can live long lives even with a stage 4 cancer. It sounds as though your partner has done very well though she has had her battles on her hands and to have you standing beside her will only make things that much easier, though I know how hard it must be for you.
Know that you can write me anytime through the mail on this site and know that many of us will hold you close to our hearts and you will be on my mind.
If I can help in anyway please feel free to contact me and I will write you back though it may take a couple of days since I am not on this site as often as I once was.
I do come back to be here for people like yourselves and hope an encouraging word can be of some comfort.
BE good to yourselves always,