Oct 30, 2007 - 6:49 pm
Brief history. Hubby dx with stage IV colorectal cancer with liver mets. Colon resection in January and finally a liver resection 3 weeks ago for the mets, after being told inoperable for 8 mos. I'm elated that the surgery went so well and my husband is recovering very fast and the surgeon was also very pleased with results.I'm also very hopeful and for those who know me,from the posts I do under the colorectal category, I am persistant in my research for options and treatments .But,I'm also a bit apprehensive and have mixed feelings right now because I know metastic cancer is very difficult to treat and next week we see the oncologist to decide whether or not to continue adjuvent chemo treatments . (he's had 9 before the liver surgery). I have mixed feelings, one part of me tells me it might be "beneficial" in the long run and another part of me says " the chemo itself may cause him more harm than good right now. I know it's his decision ultimately, but I also know that I can "sway " him one way or the other. It's a lot of stress . My insurance is also changing the first of the year and I'm planning on a nightmare since he's on a clinical trial currently which I fought to get him on. I also have a stressful job and basically have had a "stressful" life pretty much .(who hasn't right?) I was also the "caregiver" for my mom for a very, very long period of time where she relied on me for hopefully the "right" answers and opinions and had to make some really difficult decisions in her health care. I'm not sure in hindsight whether they were all correct or not, but I did the best I could. It's sometimes really hard being the "other" one. It's also exhausting at times , but then I think of what my husband is going through and I know I have to muster up my energy and be "upbeat" so that he doesn't know how "stressed" I really feel sometimes. I don't ever give up hope and I try not to think about what might happen , but if your a caregiver, then you know the roller coaster of emotions I'm talking about . Thanks for listening. I think it just helps me to put it into words and tell "someone" who knows what its like to be on "this" side . Caregivers need support to support. God Bless and Keep the faith.