Newly diagnosed daddy.

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briamber
briamber Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
My dad was diagnosed with Colon Cancer two weeks ago. A couple days later we learned its stage IV into his bloodstream and into his liver and stomach. They tried putting a stent in to open up the colon, but it failed and he had to have surgery. He's still in the hospital today from the surgery.
It's so nice to have friends and family offer condolences and say you just need to have a positive attitude because he's strong and he can beat this. But how do they know? I haven't actually snapped at anyone yet saying you don't know that, but really, don't I have to be prepared for everything? The oncologist gave him a maximum of two years if the chemo works, which he will start 3 weeks after he gets out of the hospital. But the oncologist also said he doesn't have high hopes for the chemo to work perfectly because this is a "bad cancer". Bad cancer..yeah. Like there's a good one. I'm glad he did say a time though..because the first doctor he went to said, "Miracles happen." when my mom asked how long. Like "miracles happen" gives the family any idea of how to cope. Sorry if I'm all negative...I'm just trying to deal the best way I know how, which right now is a bit of anger. Two years would be a god send if I didn't live in Arizona with my dad in Wisconsin, and headed out of the country in 2 weeks for 4 months. Everythings just piling up and it's all so overwhelming. And that's just me, my dad's been too drugged up to tell me how he's doing. But mom's sure taking it rough. This is long, but I needed to vent.

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  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    #2
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    We have all been there and empathize with you. I am a cancer survivor who lost a brother to suicide (Yes, I found his body.), a father to stroke, and my mother to bowel infection and kidney failure. As a divorced guy with no kids, I am now alone in the world and suffer occasional bouts of depression and anxiety. It is rough, but somehow we manage. Please write anytime, if you need a pal.

    Love and Courage,

    Rick
  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    #3
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    I was stage 4 colon cancer with liver mets and today I am cancerfree. That was almost 6 years ago. Everyone is right, attitude is everything. In addition to quality doctors and healthcare, the patient must believe he can win. He needs to surround himself with doctors who believe he will win, too.

    E-mail me through this site if I can help you more.

    Stacy
  • TereB
    TereB Member Posts: 286 Member
    #4
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    A cancer diagnosis is not easy on anyone. Your feelings of anger, fear, etc. are very normal, don't feel bad about that, just don't get stuck there. It is also normal to feel overwhelmed because something big is happening in your life, something you had not planned. The positive attitude is simply not losing hope and not giving up and it does help. I've known cancer patients that are told they only have a few months to live but are still around 3-5 years later. Have faith in whatever God you believe in, it helps too.

    Don't give up hope on your father's recovery yet, anything could happen. There are many colon cancer survivors.

    Many oncology depts. have a social worker or therapist that can help the patient and family cope with all that is happening.

    A good medical team is also important, just like StacyGleaso said.

    A good place to go for support or vent is the survivors chat room. They have all been through similar things and are understanding and great at giving support, holding your hand, etc.

    You and your family will be in my prayers.
    God Bless,
    TereB
  • briamber
    briamber Member Posts: 3
    #5
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    TereB said:

    A cancer diagnosis is not easy on anyone. Your feelings of anger, fear, etc. are very normal, don't feel bad about that, just don't get stuck there. It is also normal to feel overwhelmed because something big is happening in your life, something you had not planned. The positive attitude is simply not losing hope and not giving up and it does help. I've known cancer patients that are told they only have a few months to live but are still around 3-5 years later. Have faith in whatever God you believe in, it helps too.

    Don't give up hope on your father's recovery yet, anything could happen. There are many colon cancer survivors.

    Many oncology depts. have a social worker or therapist that can help the patient and family cope with all that is happening.

    A good medical team is also important, just like StacyGleaso said.

    A good place to go for support or vent is the survivors chat room. They have all been through similar things and are understanding and great at giving support, holding your hand, etc.

    You and your family will be in my prayers.
    God Bless,
    TereB

    Thanks for the posts guys. I'm sure everyone feels this..but it gets easier every day, but then you get some news that makes it all crash down. Then slowly up again. So right now my family is on the up portion. Dad's out of the hospital. Still in pain, but doing good.
    And the new thought for him (since he's a hunter) is that chemo is the gun and then the cancer cells are all deer. So when he starts chemo in 3 weeks that's supposed to be his thought process. He's taking this all with such good humor, that I think we're all starting to get more hope than before.
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    #6
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    briamber said:

    Thanks for the posts guys. I'm sure everyone feels this..but it gets easier every day, but then you get some news that makes it all crash down. Then slowly up again. So right now my family is on the up portion. Dad's out of the hospital. Still in pain, but doing good.
    And the new thought for him (since he's a hunter) is that chemo is the gun and then the cancer cells are all deer. So when he starts chemo in 3 weeks that's supposed to be his thought process. He's taking this all with such good humor, that I think we're all starting to get more hope than before.

    briamber,

    That imagery he came up with is more valuable than you may think. "Creative visualization" or "guided imagery" can be an effective tool for both healing and dealing with illness and resulting pain. I used to use my own version when my tumor markers were elevated. Here is a link so that you can read more about it:

    http://www.academyforguidedimagery.com/whatis.php

    Love and Courage,

    Rick

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