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Need Advice for a Friend

ekkaia
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2007

A good friend of mine was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She has very good support from her friends and family. I am one of those friends and need input as to what I can do to cheer her up. I thought of small fruit baskets because I know good foods are important, but I would like advice from people who have had cancer. Thanks Diane H.

jamilou's picture
jamilou
Posts: 202
Joined: Mar 2005

Diane
One of the best things you can do is be there for her. Call her every few days and see how she is and what she needs. She may not ask for help but just having someone to talk to will help. Knowing that her friends are not going to shy away from her will help. Send her cards. It has been 6 years since my diagnosis and I still have my cards to look at when I need a pick up! I kept my cards in a basket where everyone could look at them and when I was tired and blue I could read them again. I hope your friend does well. Keep us posted. You know this site is not just support for the cancer patient. It is also support for those that love them!
Jami

mopar
Posts: 1950
Joined: May 2003

Diane:
Thank God for friends like you! I'm sure your friend will appreciate your kindness and support, more and more as time goes on.

Jami has some good suggestions too. Is your friend going to have chemo? If you get back to us once you know what she will have, there are lots of ladies who have been there (me included) who can offer some wonderful suggestions to ease what she will go through.

In the meantime, just reinforce that you are available for her to call you when something comes up. Sometimes too, she might just need space and time for herself. Does she have children? Maybe you can babysit. Or, if she's not feeling well, just bring over some soup and maybe a good movie (comedies are great) and just pick up a few things around the house, do laundry, etc. The list is endless. And I'm sure as time goes on you'll know just what to do. But definitely visit us again for more specific suggestions.

Prayers and hugs to you and your friend. Please tell her we are ALL survivors!

Monika

frankelyro
Posts: 25
Joined: Oct 2006

Sounds like your friend is fortunate to have you in her life. Keep the lines of communication open; let her know it's ok to talk/cry about her diagnosis. If she's single, perhaps you can accompany her to the doctor (she should always have at least one person go with her to all her doctor visits). Perhaps you two could go for a ladies day and have a massage/facial/manicure/pedicure/whatever to make her feel pampered. Encourage her to share her fears and concerns. Give her this website so she can reach out to those of us who are going through it also. Find ways to bring laughter and humor into her life. You know in your heart that being active in her life is the best medicine for her spirit. Please keep in touch with us.
Roann

groundeffect
Posts: 651
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Diane,

You've already gotten very good advice from some members of the board, and I'll throw in a little bit about something pretty easy to do if you sew. There is a free easy-to-make pattern on Nancy's Notions website called the "Creative Kindness Beret" that I heartily recommend
https://www.nancysnotions.com/NNVia/viaShellPage.jsp?readPage=https://www.nancysnotions.com/NNVia/CustomPages/GailsCKBeret.htm (just copy all of that into your browser, or go to Nancy's Notions and look for the Creative Kindness links). The beret can be made in different fabrics as suits your climate. I've made it in fleece for winter chemo patients (myself included), and in lightweight fabric for summer. Wigs are not always comfortable to wear continuously, and I wore my berets day and night around the house. It's nice to have at least three; one to wear, one to wash, and an extra. I never did put the decorative flower on mine, but did choose some bright fancy fleece fabrics for mine-it would be nice to pick something that you think fits your friend's personality!

I know that the first response most folks have is to try to feed a loved one something, but I feel that a simple gift that is needed and can be used over and over again is truly thoughtful!

Another suggestion would be a little basket of easy puzzles (my sister brought me some crosswords and find-a-word books) that don't require a lot of brain work. It's good to keep it active, but can be trying. I had a small basket near my bed that I kept my books, the t.v. remote, lotion, and other things in through my chemo time. It kept things together, and was easy to transport.

Nancy's Notions has a number of different free projects for a number of situations. If anyone is inclined, they're a great low-cost, low-energy way of really helping out.

jawamom
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2007

The things that meant the most to me during treatment was knowing certain people were out there for me when I wanted to communicate. Somedays I did not want to talk but knew I could e-mail them and get a uplifting response, other days I knew they would be there just to listen if I felt like talking. Of course right after you find out people are eager to be there with support, it meant more to me to continue to get cards, e-mails and flowers later in my treatment. I got a card every month from my ex sister-in-law and my brother. They weren't always get well cards just thinking of you or just silly ones that brightened a sometimes rough day. I looked forward to these and cherish them dearly. Just be there when she needs you and let her have space when she needs it. Good Luck!!

inventorous
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2007

A link to my navigation bar for cancer intervention is found at wwwdothftfiredotcom.

First, cancer is truly no more than an out-of-control reproduction of cells. Essentially a healthy body is completely renovated w/ new organs, bones, complete systems, ect., one cell at a time every few years.

Second, the FDA can only approve MAN-MADE products. I have found most (not all) our nations family care physicians and M.D.'s and beyond are instructed to use primarily only these man-made patented FDA approved chemical therapies to treat cancer.

wwwDOTcancureDOTorg/unapproved_by_FDA.htm

Lastly, in order for any patient/victim to SURVIVE, they MUST MAINTAIN THEIR WILL TO LIVE! This can only be achieved if the pt/victim BELIEVES he/she is going to MAKE IT no matter what, receives proper/VIALBLE TREATMENT, secures incredible HOPE & FAITH, and keeps a POSITIVE mental attitude. ALL are KEY! RECOVERY is further enhanced greatly by genuine REASSURANCE to help pull them through.

I would love to hear anything anyone else might know about Vitamin B-17. I personally have had incredible success as I understand this is one NATURAL ingredient [and therefore not approved by the FDA!] that CONTROLS CELL REPRODUCTION AT THE RATE OF ONE FOR ONE, ONE AT A TIME as our bodies are designed! It is my understanding the HIGHEST concentration is found in the kernel from within the pit of an Apricot.

I started a very close friend [literally dying of Stage Three (3) ovarian cancer in November 2006] on this NATURAL “Treatment” in which her diagnosis and standard routine prognosis most victims receive was to "expire" in March (this month) but likely no later than June 2007… has been completely REVERSED!

Last Thanksgiving I had the difficult task to qualify miracles do occur, with whole and complete and proper treatment vs. the mounds of verifiable evidence her oncologist had “advised” her.

To reestablish HOPE, I instead inspired her to look forward to holding her grand children not yet born of her two (2) sons who are now ages 12 and 15.

MIRACULOUSLY, she is home with no sign of cancer at all!

The "Limies" needed Vitamin C! Is Vitamin B-17 any different!?!

Rich Hoffmann
Fire Captain (med-ret.)

htb01
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2007

> Is B17 any different?

Well, um, yeah. Nobody except the sellers of laetrile think it's actually a vitamin, for example.

Oh, and the FDA is perfectly capable of approving natural products. However, Congress said that FDA approval is only required for man-made stuff. Any time a company wants a natural product approved, the FDA receives them with welcome arms (and it has happened in a few unusual situations, before Congress made a permanent guarantee that it wasn't necessary).

But if you were the company owners -- why would you want to pay the enormous drug-company user fees to get official FDA approval, when Congress says you don't need it?!

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