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cried all day
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Mar 14, 2007 - 11:39 pm
It will be 11 months tomorrow since my husband of 32+years passed away. When I got to work today all I did was cry. I do nails and when a customer would come in and my mind would wonder all I could do was to get up and go have a cry. My heart hurts I want the bad memories to go away I don't want to shut my eyes and see him dieing over and over again. They say it gets easier with time but mine seams to get worse. The lonely ness the dicessions I have to make wondering am I making the right ones. I have customers (a Lot) that are widows most in their late 60s or 70's, loney widows. I see myself in them and I get so depressed. Our lives were just getting back to being good (lost daughter at the age of 15 in car wreck-91) He helped me through that, but noone can help me through this. This litterly makes me sick to my stomach. |
Joined: Apr 2006
Hi,
Sorry for all that you have been thru and what you are going thru now. My heart goes out to you!
Maybe aside from work, you could take up a hobby, something to take your mind off things for a while, or visit with friends. Is there anyone you can talk to like a minister....they can usually help out in your situation. Have you tried grief councilling (group)?
Please do not feel you are alone, everyone on this board is here for you! E-mail me here if you would like.
((((hugs))))
Sue
Joined: Jan 2007
Hi. I am so sorry and I know it probably doesn't help a lot, but just want you to know that you are in my prayers . I've been married the same amount of time and right now we are facing a long road and even thinking about it makes me cry. I hope that we can give you some small measure of support on this board. I agree with Sue about also talking to a minister, priest, grief counselor etc. It may help. I read a sign on the way home from work today posted on a small rural church that said "you never walk alone" . I know it may seem like it at times, but I hope it helps to know that we care and that God is always with us , especially in our darkest moments. Your not alone. God Bless. Email here anytime you want to "talk" . Hugs, Diane
Joined: Mar 2007
I lost my husband of 32+ years just 14 weeks ago. I have no words of hope for you just that I've been told it does get easier with time. I can't foresee that at this moment but that's what everyone keeps telling me. Just take it one day at a time. I can't see past today let alone next week, next month, next year. The only consolation I have is knowing that he is in Heaven and waiting patiently for my time to join him.
Joined: Jan 2007
My deepest sympathies on your loss also. God Bless you and give you strength . My mom passed a few years back , my motherinlaw, my father and all my grandparents, and my husband is currently battling cancer at the age of 53. I find some consolation in believing in a "hereafter" and reunion with loved ones and I think your advice of taking one day at a time is all we can do. I have no doubt that one day we will all be shedding tears of joy in heaven at our reunion with our loved ones. Peace to you and God Bless. Diane
Joined: Mar 2007
In 1985 just 3 days after becoming engaged, my fiance was killed in a car wreck. 7 years later I married & have one son - husband was bipolar and I had to leave. Now 8 years later I met a wonderful GOOD man - wedding was to be in April. Now he has advanced colon cancer-we just found out. Have cried for nearly two weeks straight and I can't believe I am living the nightmare again. In addition, I have lost both my parents (to cancer), a sister, a niece a newphew and several close cousins in the past two years. Having survived these losses, I know it WILL get better eventually. Please make sure you have someone you can talk to -- even just to cry with. Tears are healing and 11 months is not really all that long. It may take longer, but sharing your grief and finding others who need your help and love is the only way I survived any of the things I have lived through. God keep you and give you peace.
Joined: Jan 2007
ajc. sorry you've been through so much and are going through so much. My husband has same dx. with liver mets. There have been many advances in this area so keep the faith. Check out the posts under colorectal on this website. There are many long term survivors here who will give you much hope. God Bless
Joined: May 2007
I was up until 2:30am looking at all of your messages crying. My heart goes out to all of you, I want to answer you all... wish I could type quicker. I answered a message in the emotional support site...her father has no hope, she is trying to hold it together and feels she'll fall apart as you do. Your heartache for your husband is a horrible way to go through your day. I am a dental hygienist, and as you say, It is hard holding it together- "just 3 more patients"...., My "legal" boyfriend (1st love) had (hopefully- ok now- but still not right) N.H.L. of the tonsillar region recently, and now, my brother was just diagnosed with Sq.c.c. of the neck region- (add his hemophilia to the mix). I wonder how the two most important people in my life could have to go through this??? Whats next??? It makes me sick to my stomach... but now my boyfriend and I are like roommates, if that.. there's allot of reasons why, but I dont know if I see a future for us if things dont change. Things were rocky before the cancer, but since 05 when diag.d he